lost personality w/ meds!! | ADHD Information
ksgcsg- I felt the same way. The difference was that I was finally slowing down enough to really listen to the other people around me. I was usually the life of the party but on meds I sat back and listened.........it was really hard to get used to at first but I've actually made a number of really close friends instead ofa whole wack of acquaints. For me it was worth it in the long run.
Venturess-That sounds just like me! I have only 2 true friends... One is a friend of the family and we just automatically kept in touch, the other has always kept in touch with me- I love her for that!) I have a lot af aquantances!
But, I have decided Adderall isn't for me... I have felt horrible for the last few days...
I think I am going to try Wellbutrin...
Yes I found that I reaped all the benefits of medication, better concentration, more focus etc, but stilll after 6 months, I was not myself.
I felt personalityless, lost my sexual desire, and became almost robotic.
People had said my pills just wern't tweaked enough, but I was on a very small dose.
I prefer not to be on them at the moment, but may decide again to try later
Also see my thread - "I dont care on Meds"
Rae7038255.0435763889Hi KSGCSG.
I am sorry you have been having a bad time with your meds. What dosage are you on? Has your MD made himself/herself availabe to you to help with the dosage if it did not seem like it was working? Just wondering, because I get real antsy/impatient about that sort of thing, so I can imagine how you feel. Call your MD!! 
Hope it gets better(meaning you find the right dosage of the right med) and soon! 
While on adderall I lost most of my vigor and charm... robotic is the one of the most direct ways of expressing it. When I say 'vigor' all I wanted to do was "zone in" on something and not derivate from my seated position, my up-and-down energy was stripped from me and my body was numb (i.e. I felt a-sexual, the meds turned me, a 27 yr old male into a monk). As for my charm, basically I failed to make people laugh like I used to, though I failed to intrude and establish 'scenes' (which some would love and others would hate) I became the person who arrived and then left unoticed. My dose varied from 20mg day to 30mg, depending on my demands (I was diagnosed in my final yr of law school, so each day posed diff med requirements). In the end I could deal with being all robo, but could not deal with impotence. Funny thing is that though the meds robbed me of my interest in women it didn't rob me of my love for high-impact martial arts. When I withdrew from adderall I noticed how amplified my 'natural' behaviors started to feel, after being numb at the pelvis and straight in the smile for half a yr my hyper-nature was noticed by me for the first time.
ksgcsg- I'm sorry to hear about the problems you're having with adderall
....I tried wellbutrin a couple of years ago....and I'm sure it afffects different people differently, but my personality really changed. The difference was that I didn't see it for myself. I'm pretty easy going and layed back most of the time but for the first time in my life I discovered rage. My boyfriend at the time took the brunt of it (although at times he deserved it). I didn't feel any differently from day to day but....I had crazy mood swings and screaming fits of rage. I've never experienced anything like it and hope I never do again. I don't want to scare you and I know other people who really liked the effects of wellbutrin, just thought I'd share
Evazyn- You described what I was going through!! But, I ended up just feeling EXTREMELY depressed! I have never felt like that before! I've been down and probably depressed before but, this was terrible. I felt trapped inside of me, if that makes any sense. I felt like nothing could make me happy. I only took it for 5 days. Are you taking anything? I am just afraid to try anything new now! Everything has a side effect that could make me miserable again...
Venturess- I have read about the rage a lot from people on message
boards in the last couple of days.... I'm just not sure what to do...
I'm thinking about educating myself on how to cope with it more and
trying a natural approach to what I'm taking. That just sounds like it
would take so much time and effort... I am sooo busy already, right
now...
KSGCSG,Despression can and normally will ensue when coming off adderall, if you research the ingreds of this med there's no shocker when your mind and body go through the loop when one stops abruptly - even after only a week. Its when depression hits when coming off the meds every evening while being medicated that there's a serious issue - not to make light of the depression you are dealing with right now. I've been off aderall 2 wks and today I felt more depressed that any moment in the previous 2 wks, but this isn't my first time shedding this stuff. From my past experience 'normalcy' may take up to a month for short-term users (i.e. those who've been on the speed for 3-6 months). You brain should settle in a few more days.
So I advise to wait it out a bit, distract yourself if you can. Again, I do martial arts so while I've lost the ability to cram for the NY State Bar exam I've been working out twice a day. I realize that if I want to make good on my J.D. I'll need to be 'high' on something, Concerta, Well, Srat, something... it's either pump me full of something that does not castrate me (like adderall) or I'm not going to pursue law, or any 'desk job' for that matter. I'm not ensured so I can't attempt bio-feed, and I don't need therapy b/c I feel very well adjusted for my situation.
Adderall alters your universe quickly, and it will slip from you quickly once the blue pills are put away or flushed. If your depression continues onward, well then you have depression and not withdrawl symptoms, as lingering depression could either be attributable to your ADHD and the lessened capacity you (as a person w/ADHD) have in your neuro-makeup to cope w/ stress or it could be a completely independent condition. The fact that you are depressed should motivate you to not only seek chemical assitance but also a bit of traditional therapy as well, maybe only until you find a med (or a Pacific Is. paradise away from all this mess) that alllows to live more completely and happily.
Oh, yeah... adderall made me testy at times too, short fuse when not slouched in my home office or living room couch... itchy... What is going on!!?!?!?! I had a playful and, I thought, fun personality before meds, now I have almost none! Has anyone ever experienced this? Does it go away? I have only been on adderall for 4 days now.... ksgcsg38235.4407986111Hi KSGCSG! I felt that way at first too. What I have discovered, at least for me, is that it is a trade off. In other words, if I am extremely focused and can think really clearly I tend to not talk much, and am really quiet relatively speaking, LOL, and my old personality, is nowhere to be found. On the other hand, if I am only somewhat focused, then the old "personality" remains. It is all a matter of degree...I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one... I do wish it would just go away the longer I take the meds....
Hey ks.
Sorry the meds aren't workin for you. When I was first put opn Adderall, I was snappy at people, and my usual easygoing-playfulness went away. I felt more organized and alert, but also more negative. Friends who did not know I was on meds would say "What's wrong with you??" and walk away. I have not taken meds since, and have been untreated for the past couple years....which is not working out too well... If you find something that works, tell me! Need to get back to a doctor...
Lauralie