I am sure I am not the only one who has had to deal with this, but my ex-husband REFUSES to accept the diagnosis of ADD in our 8 year old daughter. She has been tested twice, and I have letters from 5 teachers, (k-4 - 2nd) 2 separate psychiatrists, and the principal of the school stating that she does indeed have add. However, my ex says that the doctors are quacks, the teachers sub-standard, and I a bad mother. He has even gone so far as to say that I am medicating her out of "convenience". Moreover, he refuses to give her the Focalin while exercising his visitation.
I have full custody of my daughter. As full custodian, I am to be the decision maker in all areas of my daughters life including medical, religion, and education etc..., but I am starting to worrry about how all of this will play out.
My attorney says that my ex has no way of stopping me from giving add meds, but I am not sure. Does anyone know if the non-custodial parent has succeeded in stopping treatment? My ex is such a jerk!!!! He has tried for custody twice, and lost. The last time he tried, the judge basically said that if he ever filed again, that he would revoke visitation time because he had no basis for either of the filings. It's really weird, he rarely even sees my daughter anyway, and cancels about 60% of the time. You would think he wouldn't care, but I think he thrives of making our lives miserible.
ANyway, anyone have any imput of this situation??? HELP!!!!!
2girlsmomndad38827.5158101852Thanks sooo much to everyone for responding!!! I AM trying to say as little as possible about the subject because even when I read him the wonderful letters from her teachers about how well she is improving, he chews me out!!
The only reason I have tried to open up some communication is because he tells her that the Focalin is poison and it will kill her!!!! I was trying to stop the sabotage.
I just did'nt know if anyone knew of any legal way that the non-custodial parent could stop treatment or if there was any case law law to support him. His real problem is that he wants control but no responsibility.
He met with the add doctor last week, showed up 45 minutes late, stayed an hour-and-a-half, (the next patient had to leave) and left without paying. The doc said in 18 years of practice, he had never seen such an arrogant, hostile parent. He refused to even look at a checklist of symptoms to see if he recognized any of them while she has been in his care. I mean, he says she doesn't have add but he refuses to even look at some of the symptoms!
UUUUGH!!! What a winner, huh!
Just dont tell him anymore about the meds...he does not need to know especially if you have full custody..I agree with joemom. Tell him as little as possible. Don't even discuss the topic at all if you can avoid it. If his visitation is spotty then the time she spends with him is negligible and if she's off her meds on those days, ok. (disclaimer: I don't know a whole lot about focalin)OH! I almost forgot! Greg, my ex, says that my daughter just needs more disipline, and that we should let her know that the problems she is having in class are unacceptable.
All of this from a man who abandoned her the first 3 years of her life. She is now 8.
no - no input really although, if this helps, from what others have said about adderall etc. i don't think it matters too much if your daughter has a break - many adult ADDers on the board on Adderall find that taking regular "med vacations" helps keep them on the same dosage without having to constantly up the dosage for the same effect. so, ironically, your husband could be doing you a favour there... but i would check with your doctor nonetheless about the interruptions in case it is entirely different with focalin...I too have and ex that doesn't think our child needs meds. My problem is my son now wants to go live with dad. I spent 4 years fighting the schools to finally get him diagnosed. Dad did fill out the form of symptoms, but was upset when he discovered my son had decided to go on meds. He was 12 and I felt it needed to be his choice. Now when he moves his dad will most likely not continue with the meds that have help our son so much. He did bring it up while we were at mediation and the mediator made no comment about him being on the meds...and I don't have full custody so I think your worries on that issue should be put aside. I would think your attorney would have told you if there was cases where it was stopped.
Good luck!
At least Focalin is a med you can stop and restart without problems. It would be hard if she was on Strattera or something of that like.I am pretty sure that if you have full custody he has no choice but to medicate your son while he is in his care, and he could could face some "not so good" consequences for not following your directions.
You actually might have the upper hand in this matter!
Cindy38827.7700694444