ADD + ADHD+Baby | ADHD Information

Normally I'd say that bf's son may have more than ADHD and to re-evaluate him, and that wouldn't hurt, but you have to understand as a mom who was divorced--kids aren't totally thrilled about new significant others and it confuses them and makes them often resent the SO. Trust me, been there/done that. It is very likely this child is scared that the baby, who belogns to both of you, will take his father's love. Nine kids are A LOT of kids in one family and a big adjustment for everyone. Your bf's son comes along with your bf and, if he lives primarily with your bf, you ARE primarily responsible for him. You may not be his birth mother, but you are functioning as one and, if you don't like the package, well, would you choose your SO over your child? You sort of have to ease him in and hope the kids get used to the new arrangement. Sometimes they don't. Until my kids moved out, they never liked my hub (their stepfather). If I had it to do again (wiser now) I woudln't have lived with hub before I married him. Heck, I wouldn't even have gotten married until they were 18 and gone. It's very hard on children. If the kids have disorders to begin with, this sort of disruption can only make them worse. You may want to consider family counseling to get all the kids used to this new arrangment. Are you engaged? I just ask because to take such a large step, with all those kids, hopefully the plan is to build the family forever. Kids don't do well, even "Normal" ones with our constant boyfriends/girlfriends. They are protective of their bio. parents, even if they aren't that good, and do not like to take orders from strangers who suddenly weld power over them. I swear, it's amazing hub and I ever married...lol. As for w hat did the baby do? Your baby exists and is a threat to your child, in his little mind. He didn't want the baby--you did. He didn't want a new mother--boyfriend did. Talking to my grown kids about how they felt when my hub first moved in is very enlightening. They were very resentful and very frightened. We choose our SO's and our children have to live with them. I hope it all works out. Good luck :) OlderMom38827.7063425926Welcome!  I know it's frustrating and aggravating to you, but your BF's son's comments sound like those made by any child who suddenly has a new baby in the house.  He sounds jealous of all the attention she's receiving, and in his mind, negative attention (like what he gets when he makes those sorts of comments) is better than no attention at all.  I think he may need some counseling.  Just a thought . . .

I'm new here and looking for advise/support/place to vent!

My son was diagnosed ADD late in the school year last year..so late that the appointment with the pediatrician was after school was out! We started him on a small does of Adderal this school year, and had hand selected teachers.  His grades were amazing at first! Now they are right back where they were and I think partly because he is wanting to go live with dad and has given up here.

Next is my boyfriends son only about 6 months younger than my son and he is ADHD. He is my biggest problem. We recent combined households. I always felt my b/f was to hard on this child and that I could help defuse some of the problems as his son has over all been really good with me. Over the past month he has driven me to a breaking point which frustrates me as I am not his mother and yet feel obligated to help him. His mouth seems to get the better of him and when we talk to him about anything he usually is smirking which adds to our anger! I am about at the end of what I can take due to a comment he made to our 2 month old baby.  She was asleep in her swing with arms out and he told her "..nobody want to hug you." His tone was not nice nor were the words I heard.  And this isn't the first time he has said mean things to her.  I am use to his comments towards his brother and sisters but figured there was a history I didn't know all of and that the others provoced some of them...but what could the baby have done to deserve those words!

 ***Please note between my b/f and myself we have a total of 9 kids..only one is old enough and choosen to move out. We have my 3 kids 80%, one of his 90%,  his other three 40%, and the baby 100%,...confusing even for us!***