Am I doing this right? | ADHD Information

You are great support,thanks

Have to go , see you tommorow....

I don't get alot of support with my child being ADHD and medicated.  Mother knows best.  If it upsets people to talk about it, don't talk about it, find other supports who know what you're going through.  Let them take her for a week, and see what they think afterwards, that often helps.  Good Luck and most people understand what you're going through here.

Im from Bosnia and Herzegovina, Europe.

When I say to some people - the girl is ADHD they look at me like I said something about Mars, or just conect it with - spoiled kid with lot of energy.

Well, isnt it enough for me to fight with ADHD symptoms, but I have to fight with people who doesnt know or doesnt care for what I am talking about. Maybe I am not perfect mother but I am trying to be at least good mom, so why they dont want to understand me.Is it easier for them to live in ignorance, they dont wonna even read something about ADHD. Am I asking to much?

You know what hurts me the most. She used to be favorite grandchild, now she is far from it, yet sometimes look like they dislike her on some strange way.

Im in bad mood, forgive me and thanks for support.

I ll try to be strong... 

I have to run to work now, but if you need to vent you can pm me, you are doing fine, and let them no that in the us, and other countries she is not alone. It's very common here, and you are a good mom who wants to help your daughter. Enjoy your day/night not sure what time it is their. Keep your chin up it will be fine!

ADHD may be more common here in the States and gaining recognition but it is still highly misunderstood and viewed with criticism.

I look at it this way, that it's not my job to educate these people nor to let anyone know of my child's ADHD unless absolutely necessary.  I won't even discuss it with my MIL, a non-believer.  The only one I would be concerned about is your hubby.  Give him all the info on it you can find, have him go to the dr. with you.  Start with the basic fact that you both love your dd very much and want her to grow into a healthy, confident, productive adult and go from there trying to explain ADHD and what it means for your dd.

 I think your a wonderful mom, doing what you believe is right for your dd and against such adversity.  You sound like a strong woman and I agree, follow your gut instinct and don't allow others to influence what you believe to be right.

Hi Mammi, go with your gut instinct. A mother always knows when something just isn't right. I have never heard of where your from, but if people think she's crazy just make sure you let her know that she's not as she gets older, and maybe show her some sites so she knows she's not alone. My son has been on meds for adhd since the age of 5, i knew he had it and never argued it, however now with all the new studies my aunts, his great aunts all think he could use military school. I go he's not a bad kid, just very hyper when medicine wears off, and she goes you sure he has adhd. Ugh, of course he does, and now possible bipolar. So get your daughter the help she needs, and stay strong! RAZZLYNNE1738828.1327777778

This wendsday I took my girl to the psychologist for the first time. So we are in process of evaluation. Dr agree  that she is ADHD but need more testing to approve diagnose. At home everybody are angry on me/ my hubby, my mother in low.../. Saying she is the way she is, she is spoiled or something else, speaking like I want to hurt my girl not to help her. We live in town where everybody think you are crazy if you are seeing psychologist.They say I will mark her for whole her life.

I am doing this couse I need help. Somebody to give me proper guidance to help her be better student, beter women in future, better for herself only - not for me.I have nobody to talk with, to share my fears, my hopes...And I dont want to quite with this, to let her go.

Am I doing this right?

 

Hello Mammi...

You are not alone and this is the greatest place for support!!

My husband doesn't believe my son has ADHD. He did give permission for a counselor, but wouldn't fill out the information for the Dr.. I brought up the subject of ADHD to my 2 brother-in-laws, 1 sister-in-law, niece-in-law, and my son's half sister. Haven't received any support from the family since we spoke. I did receive a nasty email comment from the niece questioning why I would even think something is wrong. Being the Mom....you just know.

Hang in there and do what is best for your daughter. Try not to let them get to you. Please keep up the posting to let us know how you are doing.

Take care

Mammi, I'm so sorry you're going through this!  I've been there, too, and know how it feels.  Stick to your guns and don't change what you're doing just to suit your husband or his relatives.  Remember that your child is yours, not your mil's and she doesn't have any say in the matter.  I wouldn't discuss it with her and if she brings it up, just tell her the subject is not open for discussion.  Don't hesitate to leave the room in order to make your point.  The first time my MIL said she thought that the reason he was having problems was because of the pills I was giving him I told her that my son's medication was not a negotiable topic and I picked up my purse and put on my coat and went to the car.  Ds and dh followed and we went home.  I knew I'd never win if I tried to reason with her or educate her into agreeing with me.  You know your dd is not spoiled and you know you are not trying to hurt her.  Don't even discuss it with them unless they come to you and ask to be educated on the subject.  Don't apologize for trying to help your daughter and don't give in.

Are you from Bosnia or are you an american living over there?  Your english is very good.  Good luck!

Mammi:

I think you are TOTALLY on the right track in wanting all of those things for your daughter. At the end of the day, you will be able to look back and know that you've done all that you can as a Mom, and the right things. And when things start to get easier for your daughter and she's feeling less stress and frustration with many things in life because of the help she is getting, she will realize your efforts as a Mom as well, and appreciate it.

I'm sure the opinions that people have regarding ADHD or seeing a psychologist differ greatly around the world; just because your family and the people in your town are living in the past, doesn't mean you need to be!

Perhaps in your situation it would be best to not even discuss the ADHD anymore with anyone other than your doctor and husband. You can't single-handedly make the social stigmas that are firmly entrenched in your neighbourhood go away, unfortunately.

Then a few years from now, when your daughter is doing really well and all these people say "See? You were wrong about her, she's fine!", you can either choose to inform them of what really went on ... or not! And then congratulate yourself and give yourself a pat on the back!

PB

You are getting a second opinion from someone that is educated in diagnosing ADHD. I think you are doing exactly what is best for your son.

As far as support from family and friends go... you are going to learn FAST who respects your judgments enough to keep their opinions to themselves. Don't let it get in the way of what you know "in your gutt" is the right thing.

Your a good mom

Hi girls..

I ve got good news. DD bring home B /math test/ after a lot D and C/. Hubby said it was luck. Well it is not, DD needed influent from the one who is not family/dr in this case/. How do I know this? When she was toddler I teach her to go in the bathroom not in diapers. She just didnt want. One day some stranger walking by the house, saw her peeing in her pants and he said: "Look at the girl so big and beautiful and doing it in pants, go to the bathroom" smiled and went. Dont know if you believe me from that day she never ever used diapers again.

I beleive since than that influance from other people is bigger then ours. Dont know why is that but it happens again, so I hope that counselor will help us. So we have another appointment tonight.

I am a libra, asking my self for thousend time am I done something OK or not. So I just want some day when she is all grown up to say - yes I done all I could.

And susieb I cant just go from my mils home couse I live in her house we cant afford other home, so I need to be nice dil.

Yeah, Iam from Bosnia and live in here for my long 32 years. Live her trought the 4year war - so everything must be easier now.