Mommy Beat Up By 6 Year Old | ADHD Information

Today I got a call from my son's school. He has been diagnosed with ADHD and currently they are testing for Asperger's. They said that he had been having a tantrum, pulled a teacher's hair and necklace and that he hasn't been able to calm himself down. He wanted to stay at school rather than being sent home so they thought it best to "punish" him by making him come home early. When I went to pick him up he would not get up off the floor to go to the car. I picked him up kicking and screaming and carried him to the car where his teacher and I had to physically restrain him for about 20 minutes. He kicked, hit, scratched and bit me over the course of about an hour of this behavior. I was able to restrain him myself temporarily while the teacher drove us home in my car. All the while he was trying to kick her, the steering wheel, the windows and tried to open the car door.

I'm curious...if the school is unable to help him with his behavior issues, I thought there might be some kind of law that states that he can be sent , at the expense of the state, to a private school or one that could help him. Does anyone know anything about this? Or does anyone have any suggestions for me??

Signed....

OUCH!
MissouriMommy38831.6280555556

This tells you when a child can have his/her private school paid for, at the public school's expense. Go to this site, and scroll down to 10B:

http://www.wrightslaw.com/law/code_regs/20USC1412.html

I will tell you that getting a public school to pay for a child's private educuation is the most difficult thing you will ever do in SPED.

You have to get a diagnosis first and ADHD won't do it (we've been there). However, that type of behavior sounds way beyond ADHD. If he has Aspergers, he is on the autism spectrum and, yes, he would get special services. It may be at another public school. My son is on the autism spectrum and he goes to the next school district as I saw a classroom there that I really liked. If he has Aspergers he will require different handling than other kids and it's a good idea for you to learn about it too. These kids tend not to respond to or even always understand standard discipline methods. Aspergers is not a psychiatric disorder or a behavioral issue. It is a neurological problem...the kids are wired differently. MY son is on the autism spectrum and was very violent as a toddler. With the right interventions, he is a quiet, peaceful boy. Nobody believes he was once diagnosed with ADHD because he turned into almost a couch potato and is not on meds anymore. He has never been in a behavioral class, just LD and now one for kids with cognitive differences (he has an IQ of 107, but has learning deficits and social deficits). He is allowed to work at his grade level, and gets help with stuff he struggles with. It's perfect for him. I highly recommend taking him to a NeuroPsych as they do intensive testing, while other professionals dont. I included a few links. Good luck.

www.conductdisorders.com (they have a Spec. Ed forum that's really good)

www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/frame2.html (Asperger Site)

www.tonyattwood.com (Asperger link with books you can read)

OlderMom38831.6431481481.IMac38945.5309722222I work as a behavior therapist (applied behavior analysis) for kids on the autism spectrum and I have seen parents convince the school district to pay for private education, and in one case residential placement. Every district varies, but when it comes down to it they are required by law to provide a free, appropriate , public education. If you can prove that what they have to offer is not appropriate for your child, private education can be arranged at times. This site offers some basic information.
http://www.wrightslaw.com/info/fape.index.htm

You really do need to get a proper diagnosis. There are specialized programs for children on the autism spectrum springing up lately and if they are ABA based and run well, they can make a significant difference. Besides that, the best thing you can do is research. Learn about what your district provides, what your are entitled to. Research the public special ed programs in your area as well as the private ones. Take lots of data/notes on incidents that happen, on comments people make indicating that they can not handle him, and so on. If you are not an assertive person, consider finding a parent advocate who is knowledgable about all this. I've seen district officials cave in completely at just the presence of a competent advocate.

Our son when he is angry lashes out. Many kids with ASD have behavioral issues. BP kids do also.

[QUOTE=IMac]MissouriMommy, I have to ask. Is this the first time your son has gotten this out of control? [/QUOTE]

No, this is not the first time he's gotten out of control. I've only witnessed this level of "tantrum" a few times. The last incidence that I've experienced was about 6 months ago. For the most part his behavior at home is pretty ok. Right now it's the behavior at school that's a major problem. I feel like it may be more convenient for the school to send him home rather than deal with the problem. They say that it's punishment but I wonder. Of course I do not want them to have to deal with his behavior but if my son is supposed to be able to get an education, it seems that sending him home won't accomplish that. I've been searching for a neuropsychologist in my area and cannot find one...which is very strange since I live near St. Louis. I'll continue to look.....

I would disagree strongly with placing a child on the autism spectrum in an RTC unless it is for autistic kids with staff especially trained in dealing with autistic kids. I can't imagine how the child could be helped the conventional way. JMO NeuroPsychs can be found at university and children's hospitals. You can also call your nearest Autism Society and get a parent referral, like I did. Truly, I don't know what my son would be like if he hadn't had interventions. Since he'd been in foster care, he had At Risk Infant Intervention, then preschool intervention. Without it, I don't even want to think about it. ASD kids tend to act out when overstimulated and in transition. Good luck. OlderMom38831.6837847222He has 3 different paras working with him. "They" are the school and their behavioral and autism experts and his psychiatrist. We have an appointment with his psychiatrist on thursday. There is a special center here called The Judevine Center which is supposed to be wonderful with helping Autistic children and their parents. I suspect we'll be talking to the doctor on thursday about getting further help through that center. Yes, he has had an IEP since he was very young, and has had speech, physical and occupational therapies since he was about 6 months of age. We even moved from North Carolina to Missouri 2 years ago because there are more resources for him here. He spent about a year and a half at a wonderful school called United Services which helps children with autism and other disabilites. I have quit a career that I loved to stay home to be "available" to help him with any situations such as this and to take him to numerous doctor's appointments. I'm TIRED...lol.MissouriMommy38832.4872800926.IMac38945.531412037Who dxed your son? When you say "they" are looking at possible Asperger's, who is they? Also, have you started the process of getting your son an IEP? He sounds to me like a child who needs a paraprofessional with him at school, and you could get this with an IEP and a good advocate.

I'm so sorry this is happening, and I imagine it is exhausting. I don't understand how they are getting away with sending him home, when he has an IEP. I strongly suggest getting an advocate, who can show you all the documentation you need to be gathering, which will force the district to pay for private schooling. This varies from state-to-state and from district-to-district, so only an advocate familiar with your state laws and district policies will know how to get private school reimbursement from the public school and exactly what kind of documentation you will need. What you definitely need to be documenting, though, is every single call you get from the school. Keep very good records of these--the time, the date, whom the call was from, what was said in the call. Keep these records in a binder for the advocate to review. Every single time the school calls you and asks you to come pick up your son, make sure you document this. You can have a standard form that you make the principal sign, before you take your child from the school. On the form, have the date, the request to pick up your child, the person who requested your child be picked up, and a signature of a principal.

You definitely need an advocate, and I wish you the very best of luck!

lillian38832.5015856481hello and welcome to the board..... i just wanted to say i know what you are going thru.... i have a 4 yr old... and i have always said i feel that i am being abused by my 4 yr old..

i hate to say this but your sons behavior is far more then ADHD... i wish you the best of luck...

[QUOTE=IMac][QUOTE=AmyMom23] I always assumed kids in special education are with professionals who can handle these situations it's sad that the truth is they just ship them off to psych centers and they are usually admitted for a few days.[/QUOTE]

AmyMom23, other students witnessing this "tantrum" would have been pretty upset. School is supposed to be a safe place for everyone. How would you feel if your child was exposed to this?

[QUOTE=MissouriMommy]I picked him up kicking and screaming and carried him to the car where his teacher and I had to physically restrain him for about 20 minutes. He kicked, hit, scratched and bit me over the course of about an hour of this behavior. I was able to restrain him myself temporarily while the teacher drove us home in my car. All the while he was trying to kick her, the steering wheel, the windows and tried to open the car door.[/QUOTE]

[/QUOTE]

If that was my son, I would have driven him to the emergency room. That is pretty severe for a little guy. Glad the stickers worked for him today. Yay!

Janna

.IMac38945.531712963

Fantastic news !!

Scotmama my wife recently posted our experiences on a thread called older relativesand their advice. It might be worthwhile having a look some good replies!

.IMac38945.5320486111

Thanks for the support! It's really hard to find support with family and friends. I did tell one of my friends who has no kids of his own and believe it or not his reply was "dragging him by the hair might work". More and more I'm finding that it's very hard to keep friends for very long and to get along with family members because they just don't understand. If I didn't experience this stuff for myself I wouldn't have understood either.

Oh...update on the progress today at school. My son gets stickers to go on a chart to bring home from school every day. If he follows directions and keeps his hands to himself, he is rewarded with a sticker on his chart. There are about ten opportunities for him to win stickers throughout the day. When I picked him up from school he had been rewarded with all 10 stickers for the day! Yay!

Exactly some people dont relise when a child puts out this type of energy if attached to a dynamo they could power a small country with electricity for a year!

THIS IS NO EXAGURATION

Hello im a dad of a 4 year old who headbuts and bites when he kicksoff as a dad i also can be shoked by the violence and energy that a nipper can put out. iI truely hope things get better for you and remember your not alone, airing your fustration and asking others on here will help you. You sound a great mum stay the coarse and im sure you will get through this!!!

I work on an ambulance I am the one who takes these kids. Although I understand the issues with tantruming since I had one myself who had tantrums that would hurt her, me and anyone else around I don't think a baby belongs in a psych emergency room IMO. Of course the child should go home or even to the ER if the tantrum is so bad the school and parent feels the child needs to be medicated but I just hate taking them to psych emergency the element in there isn't something for a child to see. But like I said this is my opinion. If the child is older and the size of an adult it's understandable but I have taken the youngest so far is 4 and I have taken numerous Autistic children who are about 7 and tiny. My opinion is if they have a habit of tantrums like that maybe a doctor should examine them for some sort of medication but where I live the psych centers are no place for children.

That saddens me Amy Mom since asd kids have a Language/ speech issue. How does a psych stay help them at all. These kids need different discipline and teaching methods. Some have MR ! No not all SE staff are certified SE teachers either. Their are classes in school for emotinally desturbed as well. Staff can only do what they can but if parents don't help at home than it doesn't mater anyhow. Usa schools have to take any and all kids as is. It is the law here!

Thanks everyone for all of your input and advice. It's 12:30pm here today and no call from the school. I tell you, he really didn't enjoy being home yesterday so maybe the school sending him home might work. I tried to make the rest of the day as boring as I possibly could. Maybe he'll realize that if he hurts people at school he can't stay there.

That's a little disheartening about the kids spending time in a psych center. I wonder how much of it is for the child and how much of it is to just keep others safe. That would definately upset me if my son went to a psych center but I tell you if he gets much stronger or if he decides to someday use a weapon of some sort, I'd much rather him go to a psych center than end up really hurting someone.

Thanks all.....

Where I live if a child had a tantrum like that they would have dialed 911 and took him to our local psych emergency center it's sad but true. I work in a job that we transport alot of these kids and I've taken Autistic kids to psych impatient units and 6 year olds who acted out in school. I always assumed kids in special education are with professionals who can handle these situations it's sad that the truth is they just ship them off to psych centers and they are usually admitted for a few days.