Don’t hit the panic button | ADHD Information

I should add that the reason the kids have pillows is that the service is so long and so late at night, the kids bring sleeping bags and pillows and have a slumber party in the cry room.  That's where I was going with my explaining the length of the service, but I veered off, somehow  .momiss2, things must be pretty darn good if you can't remember the last time your son did something like this.  Okay Okay  I'll chill.   Thanks so much for your perspectives, I do so much appreciate it and I feel a little more grounded in reality. You're right he is doing alot better.  Its sure nice to feel you're not alone when you feel freaked out.

[QUOTE=adhie]momiss2, things must be pretty darn good if you can't remember the last time your son did something like this.  [/QUOTE]

Absolutely!

Yes the girl was hurting him, and I think things just got out of control.  So Lillian do you think I'm making a big deal of it? I just don't want it to happen again.  They were all being too rough, and I don't think my son knows his own strenth now.   I try not too let my panic button be pushed much anymore, but this is one of those times.  I get worried, then am afraid I may overreact, over consequence or under consequence.    Then I think the meds. are not working as well etc. etc. etc.  I hate stressing.

    How can we parents of ADHD children not stress, when we know our children's histories?

Yes, I think you're probably stressing way too much about this.  My son will be thirteen in two months, and he hangs out with this group of young teenagers at church, when he goes to church.  Sunday was his Easter (he and my husband are Orthodox Christian, and they follow a different religious calendar than the rest of the Christians follow), and we went to Easter Vigil Saturday night.  This goes on for hours in the Orthodox church.  Services lasted from 10:00 in the evening to 1:00 in the morning , then there was a big party afterwards.  We were at church until 3:30 in the morning.  Yepper.  Well, my son and the young teenagers got into a ferocious pillow fight, in the dark!  They were playing really, really rough, and I kept wondering if one of the girls was going to get hurt, but the girls were fighting right alongside the guys.  So what do you do?  I was watching these kids on Saturday night and wondering if this kind of rough play that goes on between boys and girls from the ages of 13-16 is sexual tension.  I think it is. 

So...I might approach the subject with your son in that way.  Be very honest.  Tell him that biting a girl can be looked at as sexual, something her parents will be really offended by.  Maybe approach the subject from that angle, while also letting him know that rough play between the sexes at his age is not unusual? 

lillian38833.5089351852

Is that what I have to look forward to?  My son is 8, and according to him, he has had more girlfriends than I can count.  Unfortunately he has "lots" of best friends.  I think we all know how that really goes.

Also some parents could or would have him charged for this type of behavior.  How do I have a meaningful conversation with him to let him know how inappropriate this behavior is?momiss238833.4476851852First of all its good that he didnt punch her becoz she was a girl, but the rest of it you can talk to him about.I'm not sure it was totally inappropriate.  I mean, was she pulling his hair and hurting him?  If she was, what was he supposed to do?  Did you witness any of this?  My feelings about this is that girls often will do things to boys, thinking they can get away with it because they're girls and guys can't hit them.  Ideally, he would have just chinned up and handled being smacked around by a girl, but he didn't, and, yes, that's probably a result of ADHD.I'd thought I'd share how when you think things are improving something happens to remind you about ADHD being a disability.  My 15 year old was wired for sound as he often is at night.  My daughter had her friend over and were jumping on the trampoline.  Son joined and things were getting a little rough- girls against the boy type of thing.  The girls got the better of him and he bit my daughters friend on the leg, causing a bruise but luckily not breaking skin.  He walked in almost in tears calling the girl a slut.... and she almost pulled his hair out.  What a shock it was that he did this.  He spent the night in his room.  I called the parents and explained what had happened, they know he's adhd, but its rather hard to explain this type of situation.  Poor girl I felt so bad.  Needless to say he won't be going outside on the tramp for a while with anyone but his sister.   His explanation was that she was hurting him and because she was a girl he didn't want to punch her.  I was so shocked I really didn't talk to him about it.  You forget sometimes how inappropriate and impulsive there actions can be, and also they still need more supervision than most kids.   I havent seen him do anything like this in so long.  I thought maybe he didn't take his meds yesterday.