She is nine years old she is in the 3rd grade.. She has ADD but maybe something else is going on she is seeing a doctor right now so we can find out..
she is taking focailn XR 10MG.
sorry if I leave a post but I work for Comcast and sneaking on the net isn't always that easy..
I've always treated hitting as a serious behavior which resulted in a lengthy time out in there rooms, or if time outs don't work for you, a loss of priveledge like not being able to play outside. Spanking her is teaching her that its okay to hit. It also makes them angry and more likely to strike out physically with others.Bostonmother,
You always come on the board and write one or two sentences then leave. It might be helpful if you told us a little bit about your daughter--her age, what grade she is in, her dx, what meds she is on, etc. There are a lot of people on the board who could help, if you could tell them more.
I think it gotten worse on the meds no rage but she is just hitting kids...
spanking ~ hitting
what's the diff?
? < two evils
intent?
we use only verbal communication
&
body language
(unlike the minimal language above)
oh oh is this the beginning of another big discussion/argument I will avoid?
hmmmm
.IMac38945.5110185185
I wonder if what happened to me yesterday was meant for me to write about it today but here goes: A family member who physically abused me throughout my childhood hit my son yesterday and kicked him in the stomach. My 10 year-old ADHD/Autistic son was simply trying to help him put clothes away but stated he got a little tired of doing so many errands. Upon stating his feelings, this family member then got angry and kicked him. My son immediately told me about it when I called to see how he was doing as I was away at work for a few hours. Other family members tried to deny it happened and tried to force my son not to tell me or my husband, but I know the MO of this particular family member, who doesn't come by often but when they do, I get extremely anxious. I've decided to have my own family stay away from the extended family clan, which is difficult because both of my folks are physically disabled and need constant help as my other siblings are difficult to find and/or missing in action, as I constantly care for my parents physical needs and/or taking them to their doctor appts and making sure they eat. I cried all night last night reliving horrible memories upon hearing my child tell me what happened to him. My husband confronted this person as soon as he had the opportunity last night and of course the person denied it or tried to say that they were simply "playing around" with my son. I guess the point of this story is that spanking and hitting simply bring upon spanking and hitting but hopefully not to the extent that I endured as a child. But if you spank your girl, she's going to think that that's the way to communicate when she gets frustrated and/or doesn't get her way in the world. Since I'm a survivor of child abuse and domestic abuse, I struggle not giving into my own demons when this child of mine puts me over the edge, but I know I must simply walk away as he's placed in a chair on a time out, instructed to drink some water, take a couple of breaths, and when he's ready to talk to me as I tell him I can't hear him when he screams at me, I'm willing to listen. I'd suggest you break the cycle of spanking your child as the form of discipline because if you're like me, after the fact, you feel awfully guilty, and the conclusion is it's (the spanking) obviously is not working as she continues hitting at school. She is obviously screaming for attention but simply does not know how to communicate it. God forbid she grow up to end up in a physically abusive relationship, which is what happened to me in my first marriage. After years of therapy, I still have my issues that spring up on me but it's all about one day at a time. Please help your daughter by reading books on disciplining a child in a positive way wherein their self esteem is built up and not destroyed. I'd also suggest a support group in your area for you. We all know that dealing with our special children is not an easy task and only parents who have walked through our shoes can really understand. God bless and please hang in there. It is not my intent to seem critical and judgmental. I hope I'm not coming across that way because that is not my intent.
Kiwicakes,
I applaud you for breaking the cycle
BostonMother,
My son hits his sister from time to time. I let him know that this type of behavior won't be tolerated by me and my Husband and he gets punished when he does it--this usually involves a chore like doing the dishes or having video games taken away. We used to spank him but this has proven to be very ineffective and I do believe that children model their parents behavior and actions. Right now I am really trying to work on remaining calm when my son is out of contol, which is hard to do sometimes--he definetely knows how to push my buttons.