Getting ready to send to boarding school | ADHD Information
Hey All, I've been reading posts for years since I am a mom of a 14-year-old boy who was diagnosed with ADHD at age 6. After getting brain SPECT scans about a year and a half ago, found out he also is ODD and has a mood disorder, which I pretty much knew all along.
The reason I am writing is that things have totally spun out of control and if I don't act now, I don't see a very bright future for him. He is failing most classes, has no personal responsibility, everything is *never* his fault, argues constantly with everyone and all the time... Blah blah I'm sure we all have similar stories.
My husband and I decided three days ago that he needs to leave. Knowing that treatment boarding schools are extremely expensive, I did a lot of research to find the right one. I didn't think a wilderness-type program behavior-mod would work. I am also scared because of the stories I hear about boys that go to these schools and their issues with drug use, alcohol, and crime. Haven't had to deal with that yet...YET. So I decided on a residential treatment program in Utah that uses positive peer group, individual therapy, and small group schooling as the best option. This is a very emotional time and, though I know it's going to be the best thing and he surely needs it, I'm struggling to make it through each day. I wanted to hear from other parents who went through what I'm about to go through.
I bought the plane ticket today, he is leaving Saturday morning, and I am not looking forward to telling him he's leaving us for 9 months. Love to hear some stories for strength...
marinewife38834.8628703704I personally have not been through this, but I have two friends who have gone through this with their daughters. One of the girls had decided to live on the streets of Montrose in Houston, instead of coming home or going to school. Another girl was running away repeatedly, doing drugs, skipping school, etc. Both of my friends sent their daughters to therapeutic boarding schools for girls, which are outrageously expensive (one of my friends took out a loan against her house to pay for it), but both swear it was the best decision they ever made. I'm happy to say both girls returned home years ago, are doing well, and have not had relapses. Personally, I think these boarding schools are great because they keep kids in a therapeutic environment for an extended period of time, whereas rehab places just last a couple of months.
I wish you all the best!
Thanks Lillian, makes me feel better to hear success stories. And yes, I took out a loan against my house yesterday as the program is VERY expensive to the tune of K for 9 mos. But it's so worth it because, as all us parents on the board know, we'd pay anything to have our kids be socially responsible adults and live a normal life.
I've heard of these being very successful. Big key: Make sure the boarding school understands your son's psychiatric problems and is able to evaluate/change meds, if necessary. Therapy isn't enough for a child with a mood disorder. Let us know how it goes.My heart goes out to you. Bravo for making such a huge, difficult decision. Let us know how you are doing during the process! I have heard positive stories too. One in particular is about my sons ADHD doctor (who is adhd himself, son and grandchild) whose parents, while very supportive, knew he needed more than they could provide him with. He is an older man and this was probably before stimulants used much. He says it was the best thing for him. The structure and consistent consequences and attention to his behavior and school work were what he needed. He is a great proponent of boarding school. best of luck to you and your son . jfla238836.3100231482Wow!! For a minute there I thought you were talking about my 14 year old. We are going through the same issues...except the mood disorder dx he recieved is now being retracted and replaced with a temporary dx of clinical depression. My son has been removed from school for now and has been placed on hospital homebound schooling provided by our county while his meds are adjusted and his depression stabilized (at least this is the plan this month). They did this after he threatened to bring a gun to school and kill everybody who wouldn't leave him alone. He was in a rage due to a reaction to Adderall XR. I would love to hear updates about what is going on with your family and specifically your son and this program. It's funny because a week ago I was researching military boarding schools like crazy....wishing and hoping that someone in my family (that I didn't know....a long lost relative) would pass away and leave me 0K to cover the expenses. I am sorry for you and your family that you are having to make this hard choice....at the same time I am a little comforted that I am not alone. That is a horrible thing to say I know and I promise it wasn't meant the way it sounded. Anyway...in answer to your question: My sister is bipolar/adhd, and my parents sent her away to every treatment program around twenty years ago...including a place called the Challenger Foundation in Utah that subsequently closed shortly after my sister's "graduation" due to the death of one of the "patients". That is the only experience I have with those programs and in our case they were not effective...of course, the fact that my sister refused to take meds may have had something to do with that. I agree with Oldermom that therapy is not enough for your son, more than likely the key to his success in a program like this is going to be the institution's ability to adjust his meds if needed. As I said before I would love to hear update's from you as to how your son is doing in the program, and also how you and your husband are dealing with the aftermath. Good Luck!I don't have any advice, but I wanted to say that you're in my prayers.
WE CAN DO IT ALL FOR THEM BUT IN THE END IT IS UP TO THEM. i TRY AND TEACH SO OUR SON LEARNS WAYS TO HELP HIMSELF AS A ADULT. i PRAY OUR KIDS VALUE ONEDAY ALL WE HELPED THEM WITH.
IF YOU AREN'T USING VITAMINS TRY THIS WE ALL NEED THEM. i BET NO ONE HERE IS GETTING ALL THE DAILY REQUIREMENTS. WE TAKE OURS AFTER MEALS .
REMEMBER SOME KIDS WILL RUN ALSO FROM THAT TYPE ENVIRONMENT. THEY WILL GO AND LOOK FOR THEM BUT UNLESS COURT ORDERED THEY CAN'T REALLY BE FORCED TO STAY EITHER. i THINK THESE ARE GREAT. i WOULDN'T SEND GREAT CLOTHES EITHER. i LIVED/WORKED AT VISION QUEST ONE FOR TROUBLED KIDS. WE LIVED IN A T PEE. SCHOOL WAS ON THE PROPERTY ALSO. MEALS CAFATERIA STYLE. CHORES ALSO. I JUST WISH WE ALL COULD GET OUR HOMES TO WORK THAT WAY. TO BAD SCHOOLS ARE NOT RUN BY X MILITARY PEOPLE. i WOULD SAY UNIFORM ALL THE WAY SHOES INCLUDED. PEOPLE DISLKIES THIS CAUSE ONLY CAUSE TAKES AWAY FROM INDIVIDUALITY. USE THAT ON WEEKENDS. A UNIORM IS SO SIMPLER. sTART IT iN PRESCHOOL THEN THEY NO NO DIFFERENCE. Let us know how it goes My daughter is only 6 and can be a handful now and has ADHD and ODD and frankfully I am terrified of the teenage years. I take her to a regular psychologist now to help but I am still fearful and pray nightly. I will keep you in my prayers as well.THANK YOU everyone for your thoughts, prayers, and stories. I really appreciate it!
Today was D day. We told him last night after my husband got home from work. My son had already been home most of the day because the school shut down due to a bomb scare. He was all excited because he didn't have any homework because everyone left their stuff at the school. I felt really bad dropping the bomb and telling him what would be happening come this morning. He was mad and upset but then once he calmed down, he began to listen to us and accept what was happening. He told his friends, which are neighbors all on the street and they turned it into a "going away" day. It made him feel really good because usually he's the one being picked on and left out.
We got up early this morning for the two hour drive to the airport. About ten minutes before we got to the airport we realized we forgot his luggage and worse..his meds! Let's just say it didn't go all that smooth this morning. I did really good and only shed a tear or two before he boarded the plane. It was truly the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The treatment center isn't really a military school, it's actually a therapeutic environment with a flight school. The program integrates regular academic school, flight training, athletics, weight training, nutritious diet, and therapy. There's no boot camp drill instructor-types (I'm actually married to a Marine and we've tried that - LOL) but instead it's individual therapy twice a week and using the peer group to solve problems. The flight training is to help them with self-esteem and show them that they really can do things if they put their mind to it. The school is mostly made up of kids with adhd so the kids will be other boys like him. They also have CEOs, astronauts, and athletes, who also have adhd, come in to talk to the boys. Mostly everything is geared towards having the boys learn to manage their disorder because it may be a life-long thing.
There is an MD to oversee the meds. There is a possibility of getting off meds if the dr concurs. I had mentioned previously that I had brain SPECT scans done and his brain isn't your typical adhd pattern. He's on a mix of Wellbutrin/Ablify/Trileptal/Strattera. I know it sounds like a lot, but if you could see his lists of meds over the years, it looks like the poor kid was a guinea pig.
I'm in for a long nine months. I'll keep y'all posted. Thanks again for your replies, it's helping me get through this time.
marine wife, what is a SPECT scan? And who do you get one from? I hope it's not a neuro psych as we dont' seem to have one of those anywhere close. My son is coming off of Abilify, Seroquel and Adderall after he was mistakenly diagnosed with bipolar disorder in addition to his ADHD. Now they are thinking that he is clinically depressed so will be starting a combination of Zoloft/Concerta, but I can't help but wonder if one of these SPECT scans would help us pinpoint what is going on with him. LOL I think I sound like a hick...I'm clueless when it comes to most of this stuff. We have known about Allen's ADHD since he was 7, but it just recently really started heating up. Anyway, thanks for the info in advance.....
I'm glad that telling him what was going on wasn't as bad as you were expecting. My thoughts are with you as I know this must be an extremely hard thing to do. I admire your determination to help your son through this
marinewife,
That school sounds awesome!
I have no words of wisdom or advice but I have a 6 year old that's quite a handful and constantly worry about what lies ahead. I only hope that if my son needs some type of boarding school that I'll be as strong as you are. It sounds like you and your husband are doing a wonderful thing for him. Best of Luck to all of you.
i went to a boarding school (not a military one though) and the structure was fantastic for me. it made life a LOT easier. but the trouble is --- as soon as i came out and went to University i completely fell apart without it......
because it doesn't teach you HOW to self-impose that structure. that was the problem for me. the moment there is some lee-way like "hmmm it's up to YOU to go to the library and study and find the books and do your research - nobody is going to spoon feed you, force you to turn up to a lesson so that you can't help learning, put you in detention if you don't spend the next six hours in the library" then i do NOTHING. because the consequences are far too far removed. "if you don't go to the library you will fail your degree" --- whaaat that's YEARS away, has zero relevance to me right now. toss up between some obscure future and not doing something i don't like to do right now. the latter always wins.
i can't create one either. i don't have the level of self-discipline that it takes. the structure always has to be imposed on me externally. and as an adult (unless i join the military) nobody is taking the time to create and/or impose a structure on me therefore i fall apart.
but good solution for the meantime.
julie339326, a SPECT is a scan that we had done at the Amen Clinic. It all started when our insurance changed and we had to find a new doctor. Our old doctor was an hour drive and he just didn't do anything but spend the obligatory five minutes to write out the prescription. So once he no longer took our insurance, I thought it was a good time to find a really good doctor in our area.
The doctor in our area happened to be a specialist with ADHD but always referred new clients to get brain scans first so he knew what he was dealing with. My son had to be off all meds for five days. Boy was that rough! Go to www.amenclinic.com and you can view the different brain patterns.
One scan is done in a resting state and the other in an active thinking state. The scans show brain activity. The ADHD brain is distinct, as is the schizophrenic brain, etc. My son had the "ring of fire" brain pattern, which is why they tacked on the ODD and mood spectrum disorder, because it wasn't just ADHD. The DSM-IV will be changing soon and, from what they told me, there isn't going to be a "bipolar" section or a "ADHD" section, but a general spectrum mood disorder that addresses many of these co-morbid diagnoses.
Hi All,
It's been two days shy of a month that Eddie left. The first two weeks were horrible! I couldn't get out one sentence without breaking down in tears. I knew that I was doing the right thing though and that seemed to get me through. Things have been a lot better as far as that goes.
We are allowed one phone call a week and unlimited letters. He's not allowed any packages at this stage until he moves up to another level. Everyone goes through an orientation stage to get acclimated to the program. I wish I knew this before me and my mother/mother-in-law sent all that beef jerky and books!
I also get a phone call every week from the psychologist. The first two weeks I was totally not happy with that guy! He made me feel as though chances were 50/50 that the program would work for my son. This was after we had already spent about K! But I had to trust that these people knew what they were doing and just give it some more time.
Yesterday's phone call went much better. The doctor explained that the first few weeks are generally touch and go because he's not sure how these kids will "present" themselves. Do they have an underlying condition that isn't being treated? Are they drug users? etc. Once they understand the issues, they are better able to let the parents know how long the program will take and even if it will help. He told me yesterday that Eddie is doing very well and has made huge progress in the past couple of weeks as he is asking for help and using resources, which is showing a little maturity. This is something I hadn't seen in a long time so it was good to hear. The doctor also mentioned that there will be some weeks that he struggles but that it's part of the program.
Soon he'll be off orientation and be able to participate in the outings and other fun things like weight training and flight school. On the homefront it's been so quiet and peaceful. My nine-year-old seemed unaffected by the whole thng until one night during a baseball game he burst into tears wanting his brother! It was sad and brought back the tears but we got through it and he's dealing with it by writing a lot of letters and being able to talk to him once a week. I think it'll be a positive thing for them too since they used to fight non-stop.
Just wanted to share with you all the progress. Have a great holiday : )
marinewife38873.5534259259Thanks for updating us about the progress about how your son and family are doing. I found it interesting and wish you all the best.Dear Marinewife,
Thank your for sharing this story and updating us. I've been reading with much interest, as are many on this board probably. You did a brave, brave thing. Some of us wonder if we will be facing similar circumstances one day. You all are in my prayers and thoughts. Keep us posted and good luck! Okiemom
.IMac38944.8986226852I want to add that SPECT tests are in no way approved or proven as diagnostic tools for ANYTHING. You pay at your own cost as insurance companies don't recognize them as valid. Nor does most psychiatry. Anybody with a disorder--be it ADHD/bipolar/schizophrenia/cognitive disorders/autism will have brain differences and there is, of yet, no way to diagnose that way. If so, all doctors would do it and insurance would cover it. A lot of money is involved and few doctors will even run these tests, since they don't tell you anything definitive.OlderMom38864.5841782407
Hi OlderMom, I agree in that SPECT tests are not covered under insurance and are used by a limited number of psychiatrists. However, I for one found it immensely beneficial in that it gave my psychiatrist a better picture of what was going on in my son's brain. To put it very simply, SPECT scans measure the blood flow to active areas of the brain.
If your son/daughter is responding well to the medication, then that's great. But I went through close to 8 years of trying more medications than you can imagine and nothing worked for very long. Yes we gave it a few weeks each time and experimented with the dosages, but either the medication just plain didn't work or it would work for a short time. After the SPECT scan, the doctor explained that he had a mood disorder and ODD as well as ADHD. Changing the meds due to his new diagnosis really turned things around and he seemed to do well for the next year.
His recent problems have more to do with the fact that he's a teenager and he uses his adhd as a crutch, has no motivation to do well in school, and really doesn't see the value of trying hard. I don't think any amount of medication would have made such a big difference and I honestly think that he would have needed this intervention at some point.
Like I said, if the medication is working then there's no need to get the scan. But I got the scan because I knew there was more than just adhd going on and the scan really helped pinpoint the right diagnosis.
Here's a good article: http://addadhdadvances.com/SPECT.html
MarineWife: What was your son like at 11? Was he immature? Did he hate you? Did he threaten to kill himself and wish you were dead? Did he just not care about anything (homework, appearance, attitude)? How did he treat you? How did he behave while spending the night out? How did he behave while around you? Please tell me more... My son is 11 and we're going through H*LL. He is one of the most immature kids I've seen. He doesn't have any self esteem. He takes NO PRIDE in anything anymore. He just doesn't care about anything. He drank too much tea yesterday and wet the bed last night. He must have gotten up in the middle of the night and put a towel under him in the bed and then was going to go to church this AM smelling like urine and HE DIDN'T HAVE A PROBLEM with it. He can be very pleasant one minute and the next minute be a complete JERK. Does any of this sound familiar? I believe that he's only ADHD but there could possibly be something else going on but have not been tested for anything. I have been threatening to send him off to school once he's in the 7th grade... I don't know if I can wait that long -
I love him and am thankful that God gave him to me but I just don't know how much more I can take! Any advice??????????Hi sareeves99, you totally sound like me when I went through my "what the heck am I going to do with this kid" stage. During his 5th grade year, we had to take him out of the school he had been at since 1st grade because he would just bolt out of the room, tell the teachers off, make them chase him across the blacktop, got suspended from riding the bus, and just didn't care about school in general. He's always been a little immature in that his self-esteem is so low that he follows anyone just to be part of the group. We hardly ever let him spend the night out because he was always so loud the other parents didn't like him around. Our problem areas were always at school though, and, of course, his talking back to me was just completely out of hand.
These past couple of years I have been getting the "I wish I had never been born" speeches because he was always grounded because of his grades. Why is your son saying these things? Is it in response to a punishment or is he generally unhappy or depressed or what? Have you tried counseling? What about changing meds or is he on any?
And yes it does sound familiar that one minute he's so much fun to be around and we're having a great time and the next minute he can be a complete jerk! Do you think sending him to a RTC school would help him? We first looked into military school when he was in 4th or 5th grade because whenever my husband would leave his behavior would get MUCH worse. He would take a basketball outside and bounce it off my car, threaten to run away, pick on his little brother, and just in general be a bear to live with.
Some of these things had gotten better with age, like the fact that once he became interested in girls, his behavior seemed to get better and he was more aware of what people thought. His appearance improved too. I think 11 is a difficult age anyway, then throw in adhd and the fact that they're a little "different" and they know it, it makes it much tougher.
marinewife, I am so glad that you got things worked out for your son.
It sure sounds like you have him in a good place
I have a 14 year old boy. I have been talking with ex about millitary school for him. Simular problems. He has not been DX. He refuses to go to counseling. He is also diabetic.please keep posting.
I will pray for your family.
You are not alone.
I pray for my son, and I fear for his future if things do not change.
Wow! I was just talking about the possibility of this in the future with my 9 yr old. Hope this never happens but sounds totally like my son, and he is adhd and odd as well, and we have tried everything and he is still hanging on at school, and I can only hope and pray it stays manageable, but right now it does'nt feel that way. My husband is Army by the way, so I'm sure we have went thru some of the same things, during deployments and all that. Anyways, Just wanted to comment and say that if this is what I have to do, I will have to find the strength to do it , just like you! And it sounds like a decent program, and wow that is some serious $$, but that's love for you, can't put a price on it!! Good luck and keep us updated!!
Thanks Imac and OlderMom, I think I should start another topic just on SPECT imaging because it really does warrant more discussion.
I've seen brain scans of people diagnosed with just ADHD and those, like my son, who are also ODD and ADHD and there are definite differences. So IMHO, I think these scans can clearly rule in a disorder as well as rule one out. Especially if there are other disorders present or co-morbidity.
The doctor who ordered the brain scans explained that with the changes to the new DSM-V (due out in a few years at least) that disorders such as adhd, bipolar, and odd will be lumped into a "mood spectrum disorder." So that is why I used "mood disorder" - but not to mean that he had been diagnosed with bipolar or depression. Hope I explained that right!
I really think the most important thing for new parents is to question the doctors and do everything they can to find the right diagnosis. A few years ago, one of his former doctors thought my son may be bipolar due to an episode where he totally started acting bizarre, so he took him off his adhd meds (Dexedrine and Wellbutrin) and put him on Lithium. He ended up in the hospital for a week!
The outcome was that my son's meds only needed to be adjusted due to the fact that when my husband leaves for deployments, he always has some sort of reaction to the stress. I always thought that had I done the scans before all of that happened, it would have saved me all that grief.
Oh My Gosh!
I just read your letter (new to site) Your letter made me feel soooo not insane.I swear i thought I was losing my mind until I saw your letter. I'm not the only one.My husband threatens to send my son to Military School, until
recentely i would fight him on it. My son is 14 also and we have to constantly
tell him that it is his choice. It's his life, we can't live it for him but if he wants a great one drastic measures have to be taken. I don't know if I would/will ever have the gut's to send him away to school but at least I know if I did/do I am not alone in my thinking or wanting the best for my son.
Thank you for sharing your story.
It made a difference in this mom's life
Is he coming home for good or just a break?? You had said this school was K, surely not just for 4-1/2 months?
My heart aches for you when I read your posts and for me b/c I fear the future for my son. He is 8 and I wonder what will become of him sometimes.
For what it's worth, I think you did the right thing sending him to this school. I would hate to see you all give up on it...?
Hi MomtoBean,
He's coming home for good because his program is complete. The average program itself lasts 6-9 months. Every kid is different and based upon their needs, the program can last as long as a year or a year and a half. His program was pretty basic, they just had to lean on him - - HARD! He's come a long way. Like I was saying, there are times when I doubt that this was all worth it, but then he'll do something or say something that just blows me away. Yesterday he told his counselor that instead of complaining and whining about being picked on, he's decided to keep a complaint journal. The old Eddie would have just thrown fits, blamed others, basically ranted and raved. But hearing that he said this on his own makes me feel a whole lot better.
The cost of the school is ,800 per month plus K intake fee and add'l money for incidentals (ibuprofen, clothes, etc). Even though I had planned on K it's only going to end up being about K. When I was doing research, there are other programs that cost more or less. One program was three months on a ranch that costs K per month!
I still worry about the future but then don't all parents worry about thier kids, adhd or not? And yet they still seem to turn out ok. : )
I feel sorry for you. But i totally understand. My son is only 8. And i have had trouble with him since he was 18 months old. I have told my ex that i am going to send him to military school. He says yeah right. Sometimes i think people with higher athority might have better luck then me. Well good luck to you.Hi Everyone, just a quick update.
Well it's been about 4 and a half months since my son left. It's been a rollercoaster. Ups and downs. Some weeks good, some weeks bad. Even though his counselor has told me that he's made progress in some areas, the biggest problem seems to remain and that is his non-stop arguing and feeling persecuted by everyone all the time. The counselor (a Ph.D.) seems to think he's compelled to argue and that his problems seem to take on more of an OCD-type more than anything. I don't completely agree or understand, but I can see why he says that because at times that kid has a one-track mind and gets fixated on things all the time.
My son asked that he be taken off his meds. I figure now is the time and place to see if he can handle it. He knows that if it doesn't work, then he's going to go back on. I've been reading other posts lately and wonder if maybe they focused more on treating his mood disorder, it may be better for him? He's seeing a psychiatrist where he's at which makes me feel better than your everyday M.D.
He's due to come home end of next month. I was doing pretty good lately and staying upbeat, which is hard because husband has been deployed for a while, but lately I've been weepy again : ( I'm anxious because every week during our phone calls, I hear the same thing over and over again. And now that the counselor told him he might come home soon, he's kind of stopped trying.
I want him home but am feeling like many of the issues he left with are not going to go away. The biggest problem is going to be school. I'm going to play hard ball with the school this time and demand more things in his IEP, specifically to address the homework problem. I've been hearing more and more that studies have shown that homework doesn't really have any benefits. If that's the case, I'd rather avoid the nightly battles. Plan B is to do home schooling. He's going to graduate if it kills me (he's now a sophomore). : )
I like your grit and determination. Stick to your guns, it will all be worthwhile!
Hi All,
It's already been six months and Eddie is coming home a week from Saturday!
I re-read some of my latest posts and now that I'm again dealing with his school, I'm reminded of the hassle that I endured for many many years! Schools! ARGH.
He went off most of his meds about a week and a half ago. The psychiatrist took him off Wellbutrin, Ablify, and Strattera, but kept him on the Trileptal. Of course he's being weaned. Taking him off the Strattera seems to be a major issue and the few people that I've talked to at the school agree that maybe they should put him back on. But now that I've read a few posts about weight gain, I'm thinking that if he needs to go back on meds, maybe something different? He used to take Dexedrine for a few years and was skinny as a rail, once we put him on Strattera he's gained about 50 lbs! I'm sure some of that is because he's now a teenager and growing, but 50 lbs!? Weight is definitely a self-esteem issue right now.
A few of my friends have asked if it was worth it. I have to say that my expectations were pretty darn high because of how much money it cost. It's not like we have a lot of money to throw at the problem, so I was hoping that if we had to spend a lot, it was going to HELP a lot! There were a few times that I had to get on the school staff because I felt they were in a babysitting mode rather than doing more to help. His progress reports from school were a whole two sentences and I had to get on them to give me some more feedback, what they were doing, study skills, organization...anything to tell me what they were doing besides giving him a packet and sitting with him to complete it.
Also, they started the whole weaning off meds thing way too late and at one point they had made the appt. in November when they knew he'd be coming him in October. I had to call people at home in order to get them back on the same page. Things like that, which really irked me, happened occasionally.
Overall it's been worth it but only time will tell. I'll update you all in a few weeks after he's home. My plan for the next two weeks is finding him a new doctor (wasn't happy with his psych here because I can't understand him most of the time because of his English and isn't proactive), contacting regional behavior specialist for the school so that I can make the teachers at the high school do their job! When I called last week they basically told me that maybe he should go to the alternative school. I think they just don't want to deal with him. His IEP has nothing on it but "additonal time" to take tests. That's it! So I have some work cut out for me.
Lately he's been excited about coming home. A little irritable from coming off meds, but at least now he understands why he's on meds. He used to tell me that I was drugging him, that I wanted him to be "perfect," and that he doesn't really need to take them and could stop at any time. Now he's understanding that without the meds people don't want to be around him because, as he says, "he's being a butt." LOL had to laugh when he said that because that pretty much describes his behavior.
Thanks everyone for just being here! It helps to read others' posts and know that I'm not alone.
marinewife39010.3534027778Congratulations! I hope the transition goes smoothly! I wish the best for you and your family. It seems like this has been a very stressful time for everyone in your family. I hope he gets home safely and gets in line with life. You seem very determined ....Your a prime example of what a strong and loving mother will do when it comes to a child and thier happiness.Wishing you the best of luck! I read your first thread way back when and am so glad you have been updating.
Lambsear,
I am having more problems with Hygeine and you guessed it< (Just a Mouthy Mouth) always has something to say. Thinks that he is the only one that lives in the house. I am at the point that he has pegged me as being the renter and not the provider.
Doritos, Energy Drinks.....and Friends (Are coming before the familY) And I do not buy these items,,,,,HE Does with his shoveling money. He runs home from school and shovels driveways and then hits the local store for his stash..I guess it could be worse.
Odysey
Hi Okie;
Thanks for the suggestion of the ToughLove program- I am looking into this to see if it will help us. Do you attend any of the meetings? I usually picture these things much like AA meetings. I really dont like to "air my dirty laundry" and am not looking for sympathy; just advice, direction on how to cope, what to do next. I wonder how many parents in the program are dealing with ADHD kids.
I am glad to hear that there is at least one other person who understands that there is only so much a parent can do. A child has to want to improve and become independent. The challege starts when they dont want to do ANYTHING besides eat, sleep, watch TV and utilize your resources. I get so tired of being judged by others who don't have all the information, nor have lived with our son to know how obstinate and difficult he can be.
Sometimes if the horse wont follow you to the water, it is time to turn over the reins to someone who can.
Hi Odysey-