About to get fired, should I quit first? | ADHD Information
If you have not already begin job searching now and do what you can to save your job for now. Worst case sceniaro you get fired you get un-employment. I told my husband that last month for he just went through the same deal. He was being harassed to the point where his syptoms were worse and he was yelling and screaming at both me and our child and was miserable to be around. I could not even ask him anything without him losing the temper. The temper got shorter and like you when our daughter was diagnosed I did the research and figured him out and this board. He is in process now after one year of me convincing him going to be tested. he does actually feel he has it and stories of his school years came out. He is calmer now.
Yes.Quit.
Firing looks bad on your resume.
In some states you can still collect unemployment.
Quiting has a lot more positive spin opportunities.
I'd share more, but I'm late again, (to get fired?)...
David
Hello! This is my first post on the board, do I thought I would start out with a doozy
A little background: Six months ago I was diagnosed with inattentive type ADHD. My stepson was diagnosed with it, and then while doing research on how to help him I realised that all the descriptions for inattentive type fit me to a T going back to when I was a small child. I took Straterra for a while, but it didn't do much so I'm trying to go sans meds for now (with the help of exercise, multi-vitamins and omega 3 supplements - with so/so results).
I've been in a job that I loathe for 5 years now. Basically the WORST job for a person with inattentive type ADHD - a paper-pushin' secretary. I've wanted to quit for a long time, I knew it wasn't a good fit for me almost right away, but my husband has pressured me to keep it ... we needed the money and it's a secure job (I work for the state). In the past I've barely skated by on my performance evals. No one is happy with me - including me. It's finally come to a head and I think I'm about to get canned.
My boss knows about the ADHD, but he wanted me to fill paperwork out with HR and have it documented... but I just do not want to go that route. Probably because I hate my job so much anyway.
Part of me realises that I should be responsible and do whatever I need to to keep this job. But the other part of me really wants to switch gears and get into something that fits me better... or better still, stay at home with my two little girls (finances would be extrordinarily tight, but I think we could make it).
To sum things up, I'm 100% sure I don't want to be here anymore, but I'm nervous about being terminated and trying to explain why I got canned if I try for another job later. I'm thinking it may be better to take control and quit on my own, so that during future job interviews I can honestly say I left because the position wasn't a good fit for me, I wanted to expand my skils, blah blah blah.
So what do you think I should do? Should I quit before I get axed?
I wonder if you are really so horrible at this job - you've held onto it for several years. Why would they suddenly find you incompetent after years of acknowledging that your skills are adequate. Experience makes you better at a job...
If you hate your job, then hopefully you can move on to something that's better suited for you. This is true whether the reason for disliking your job is add or some other reason.
If you need an income and want to figure out a job that may be better suited for you, there are a couple interesting books that may be helpful. One is "What Color is Your Parachute" and the other (I think) is called "Be What You Are."
If it were me, it would depend entirely on whether I needed to work. If I didn't, I'd give my two weeks and leave.
If I did need the income, I'd try to hang on to the job while figuring out what I was going to do next. I'd let my boss know I was really trying to do well, while putting my ducks in a row after work. Then after they were in place, I'd quit with the new job in place.
I'm not sure if you were requesting accomodation from your employer but if you were, then I think it's reasonable that they ask for documentation of the disability. However, if you simply mentioned the diagnosis and requested no accommodation and then they demanded documentation, I would consider contacting the EEOC.
Thank you so much for all the great advice!!!! I'm so glad there are other people out there who REALLY understand where I'm coming from.
This weekend my husband and I went throught our finances, and have decided that I can quit and stay home with the girls. Things will be tight, but we'll be okay. If things get too tight, I can find a little part time job doing something I like.
Thanks again!
jeniwan,try a home based business doing something you like to do and always wanted to do.
if you're not a salesperson, link up with someone that'll market you.
like an agent.
I am a great salesman, but don't like to sell, so the stuff I create if it doesn't sell itself, I've hired an art agent that moves the stuff for me. She gets a 20% cut of what she moves.
davido
I've been in a job before that I knew I was going to be fired from and sat there and let it happen. As a result:
#1. I had no job and needed the income
#2. It made things harder when I was looking for another job
#3. I didn't have confidence in myself while looking for a new job
Personally, I think it's better to quit before getting fired, but if possible to have another job lined up. I've gone that route before and it worked out well. Although, the one big negative may be Unemployment. I think if you quit you may have to wait longer to get it. I'm not sure on that and that may be something you need to look into should you decide to quit. I know what it's like to be in a job that just doesn't fit you and being unhappy every day with the job and myself. If staying home with your children is what you really want to do and you can swing it financially, maybe that is better for you. It will give you time to regroup too, if you really do want to get another job. Maybe look for something that suits you better. Where you feel good about yourself and what you are doing. Best of luck to you. Sorry to hear this job is making you so unhappy. I understand how you feel. Dee
Hi everybody!
My advice (this is based on my experience in the State of Maryland-- laws may be different in your state):
It sounds like you need the money. LOOK FOR A JOB NOW!!!! Don't wait for anything to happen. Update your resume, send them out to contacts you KNOW (it's more about WHO you know, not WHAT you know).
If you need the money, be fired. By law, companies cannot say anything that prevents you from finding new employment. They can only say what position you held and for how long. They can't recommend you and can't not recommend you.
Also, from what I understand, unemployment agencies can't give you benefits if you quit. Even if you are fired, you can get benefits (you may have to wait longer than people who've been laid off).
While you are waiting to be fired, do your best to do the BEST job you can on SOMETHING YOU CARE ABOUT. If meeting planning is your best skill and something you like to do, do the hell out of that and PUT IT ON YOUR RESUME.
While you are in your current job, don't give up. Do the best you can, but realize that your identity is NOT this job. This job is a means to an end. The "end" is a better position that is a better fit for your personality and skills. If you are fired, please realize that you are a talented, skilled person who WILL find a position or start a business that fits who YOU are.
Keep us posted!
Advise on what to do if you are fired from your secretarial position: LIE
1. Pretend you still have the last job.
2. Tell interviewees that you are having difficulties with the boss, and you'd prefer they do not contact your workplace. (So they won't check with the workplace).
3. Once you get hired, tell them your last job fired you when you approached them about leaving to work elsewhere, and that there were very hard feelings. (That way they won't check references after you get hired).
Keep in mind that everyone stretches the truth in job interviews and resumes anyway. Anyone that says they don't, is simply lying. Ask job recruiters. They know this all too well.
Dem! Sarita!That's gooooooood!
Know what I do? I kept a S Corp on the side, and everytime I got fired, I wouldn't list the firing co. I'd refer to my corporation as my long term employer, but include the experiences and skill sets I picked up on the last adventure.
In between jobs, I'd live off of the corp, resurrecting it's incomeability, cuz I kinda kept it idling on low revs in the meantime.
Actually, that was a tactic while I was still married, b/c the eX's living style required more than I could earn either way. She burned 0k/yr on fancy stores and trips to Texas and the coast. She'd stay for weeks at a time in hotels, eating restaurant food daily, and rent expensive cars, instead of staying with family. It'd cost her 0/day.
Now I'm living off'n my corp, (sole employee) and my art work.
Every ADHDer is creative, search inside yourself, execute it, and believe you can sell it.
You will.
What a great idea, Davidornado! I think I might just borrow it.
I've connsidered becoming an art agent. Seems like a great idea. I'm a pretty good salesman too.[QUOTE=Davidornado]jeniwan,
try a home based business doing something you like to do and always wanted to do.
if you're not a salesperson, link up with someone that'll market you.
like an agent.
I am a great salesman, but don't like to sell, so the stuff I create if it doesn't sell itself, I've hired an art agent that moves the stuff for me. She gets a 20% cut of what she moves.
davido
[/QUOTE]I'd love to work for myself, but I'm not a very good manager, and I don't like delegating. (Guess that kinda goes together).Why think like you're gonna be someone else's slave all your life?
Working for someone else should be merely a step up the ladder of your own acheivements.
Don't be satisfied with merely being a cog in someone's wheel.
Be the wheel.
That's why you have your own dreams and desires, and frustrations in living out someone else's dream for themselves.
[QUOTE=Sarita]
Advise on what to do if you are fired from your secretarial position: LIE
1. Pretend you still have the last job.
2. Tell interviewees that you are having difficulties with the boss, and you'd prefer they do not contact your workplace. (So they won't check with the workplace).
3. Once you get hired, tell them your last job fired you when you approached them about leaving to work elsewhere, and that there were very hard feelings. (That way they won't check references after you get hired).
Keep in mind that everyone stretches the truth in job interviews and resumes anyway. Anyone that says they don't, is simply lying. Ask job recruiters. They know this all too well.
[/QUOTE]
I'm sorry, that sounds good but as an HR Manager I call if there is a questionable separation from the past employer. If they ask me not to call then they aren't hired. And a good HR Hiring Manager can spot a lie a mile off and will verify the truth hasn't been stretched. Saying anything about not getting on with your boss is a death sentence.
I would recommend you quit giving your present company plenty of notice. Tell them you are moving on to seek new endeavors. Leave on the very best possible note you can by doing everything they ask to help your replacement have a smooth transition into the company.
I know you said you and your hubby said you can afford to quit but don't burn bridges. Leave on a good note and do not let yourself get fired.
Auntie, I agree. Under ideal circumstances (and if one hasn't been fired yet of course), leaving a job by resigning two weeks in advance, sounds great in an interview. However, if one has already been fired, that doesn't work. It also doesn't work if one is on the verge of being fired and does not have the luxury of two weeks to turn in a resignation. As you said yourself, if one admits to there being a gap between jobs, or worse, if one is dumb enough to admit one has been fired, one just signed one's own death sentence as far as getting a job. 
The only solution when dealing with corporations, is to be about as smart, creative and inventive in your presentation of yourself, as companies are dishonest, mean and uncaring to employees. Of course, I wouldn't be too far-fetched either in stretching the truth. Saying you've had a job as President of the U.S. just will not pass easily.
I'll give you one (but by no means the only) example of how to deal with getting fired. There's no doubt that it looks far better on an interview for the employee to say that he/she had a conflict with a notoriously difficult boss and had to leave, than to say he/she had been terminated by the corporation. The former makes the employee's former corporation look like they have a loose cannon of a manager who causes trouble for everyone. The latter makes the applicant look like a frikkin' loser.
Sarita38845.7752314815
I agree with what you say except stretching the truth. It may get by some hiring managers but it wouldn't get by me. I really agree to being smart, creative and inventive and I am impressed by someone who puts a interesting twist on a mundane duty.
I guess the point I want to make is don't let yourself get fired. Unless you stole from the company or did something awful they have to warn you. Know how many warnings you are going to get and put in your two weeks if you are pretty certain you won't be able to rectify the problems. And be the best you have ever been those last two weeks.
[QUOTE=Sarita said] I'll give you one (but by no means the only) example of how to deal with getting fired. There's no doubt that it looks far better on an interview for the employee to say that he/she had a conflict with a notoriously difficult boss and had to leave, than to say he/she had been terminated by the corporation. The former makes the employee's former corporation look like they have a loose cannon of a manager who causes trouble for everyone. The latter makes the applicant look like a frikkin' loser. [/QUOTE]
Your statement confused me a bit. Rather than try to figure out what you meant let me say this. I will consider a candidate for a position if they openly tell me they got fired and tell me the exact truth about why they got fired. I will not hire a person who got fired and covered it with saying "they chose to leave". Nope, no way.
BTW: Before I took over the HR position we had a 11% turn over rate. We are holding at zero now which is why my job is so boring and I have way too much time to hang around here.
Auntie: I don't doubt what you say one bit. The way you come across, it is easy to see that you're a mensch. Most companies these days are rather cutthroat. It's not getting any better, either. Turnover everywhere is maddening. Bad salaries, overwork, etc. etc.
Zero turnover is something I'd not heard of happening these days. Clearly, you're doing something most people aren't, and it's pretty darn good.
It'd be nice if more people were like you.
Auntie: I don't doubt what you say one bit. The way you come across, it is easy to see that you're a mensch. Most companies these days are rather cutthroat. It's not getting any better, either. Turnover everywhere is maddening. Bad salaries, overwork, etc. etc.
Zero turnover is something I'd not heard of happening these days. Clearly, you're doing something most people aren't, and it's pretty darn good.
It'd be nice if more people were like you.
[/QUOTE]
Thanks. I know it is tough out there. I know! I lost a job with Qualex/Kodak after years of working there and I loved my job, I worked my butt off but I loved it. They shut down my lab and long story short I took a severance package. I was totally unprepared for what employers expected by way of college degrees and even with this the pay sucked. I started with a crappy position because I didn't have a BA yet. The pay sucked. But in the end they gave me the opportunity to be HR Manager. Still not what I was making before but I guess I'm doing a good job. BTW:I don't really expect the zero turnover to hold forever, for sure. But it is a nice feeling.
If I had to workManuel Labor
I'd be
Fried To A Crisp
too
Good advice, Scattysarah.
Don't worry.
Live happy.
Be ADHD.
I was sacked twice before and nobody ever really found out. I have easily managed to get another job. Just didnt give the references for the ones I got sacked for.
I would recommend, taking action and quitting though. Do what you wana do! Life is a game we play, take chances. Don't sit behind a desk all your life thinking what if. QUIT NOW and make things happen.
Quitting is not easy (unless you're wealthy, and then working is a hobby more than anything else). Quitting is harder the older you get because you no longer have the future, the young look, the strength, vigor, health, etc. Quitting is unavaoidable when things get to the point where one is about to get canned. I must admit, tho, that when it's possible, it's far far better to quit than to get canned.
"I like to move it, move it!...She like to move it, move it....we like to...Move it!"
Home-based.....Somebody give me a suggestion on that- and I'd LOVE to work from home. Manual labor is killing me....lol.