To tell or not to tell? | ADHD Information

Thanks for all of your ideas.  I discussed this at work (school) today with a variety of responses too.  I liked the idea of one...
"Where were you?"
"Testing. What did you think of the game last night?"
"but where were you?"
"That's private."       If I don't want to answer sometimes I'll just say, "It's personal."

A response related to lillian's is good too:
He can tell that he needs a quiet place to test, without telling them he has ADHD.

I'd like him to be able to keep his integrity and be comfortable. 

I found lillian's stories related to reading and the well educated scientist, frustrating and also a sad commentary on many of our society.  Altho I'm probably wrong, the scientist sounded like someone without kids, lives in a black and white world pre "Ice Age"   Hopefully though at some point your dialogue with them may make sense.

"When I was in high school during the Ice Age, you could take a test to the library and finish it there.  That was no big deal.  I think it's sad that something as simple as this must be requested and given special permission in a legal document today. "
I agree.

Getting clear makes a good point that ADHD is for the most part an invisible disability so people just don't get it. 
I have epilepsy (siezures) and Pat has ADD.  I've always found that the easiest way is by being matter of fact about it.  I don't announce it in general conversation, but if the topic turns to school stuff, I just say that Pat is ADD and...whatever.  I've found if I talk like this is accepted fact (and it is) then I don't get as much pushback as if I'm defensive about it.  I also add stuff like: "Did you know that Jim Carrey and Robin Williams are both ADHD?"

[QUOTE=IMac][QUOTE=lillian]Honestly, this is an intervention, anyway.  Any school should allow this to any student who needs it.  It's really not an accommodation, and it saddens me that it is being thought of as one.  [/QUOTE]

Please explain the logistics of finding thirty plus kids a quiet place to write an exam; more if more than one teacher is giving an exam during the same block.

[/QUOTE]

I've taught high school, and most kids are not going to come up and ask if they can take their test in a quiet place because they are distracted, but you will get a kid or two who may ask.  So, what's the problem with doing it?  When I was in high school during the Ice Age, you could take a test to the library and finish it there.  That was no big deal.  I think it's sad that something as simple as this must be requested and given special permission in a legal document today.  If we do not stop requiring special permission for frickin everything in the public school system, then parent after parent is going to be requesting 504s. 

At my son's school, any child who needs to have a quiet place to take a test can go to the content mastery room and take the test.  They don't have to have a 504 to do this.   

.IMac38945.4942708333So here's what he said the other day when asked where he was:
"In Snapes's Dungeon."

followed by a lot of laughter at him for "his randomness" he said,
not with him.

this is a very good thread.  my DS is only 7, but it will help me in the future.

if someone was blind, no one would object to having a notetaker dictate an exam to that person! 

i like the answer that RAZZLYNNE17 provided.

I'd like your suggestions about this situation that came up with my son today.

His AP Statistics class reconvened today after taking their AP exam at the district administration building.  They all wanted to know where he was and why he wasn't with them.  He took the test in a private room with extended time.  He didn't feel like telling them that he is ADHD and gets distracted.  He said it was a lot of kids at once and he somehow avoided telling.  I really don't know what he said.

We didn't have time to discuss this yet because he was in the midst of trying to get homework done.  I am hoping that he will find something that is comfortable and honest to say when this happens next time.  It happened last year and  he has two more tests coming up.

I would like him to feel confident enough to be able to educate people about ADHD at some point and be prepared for the next time.  In the past, the nurse at school has expressed how proud she and others at school are of his accomplishments considering his challenges and thinks people should know. 

What are your thoughts?
jfla238840.969212963Hey Jfla2, i can't remember how old your son is, is it 17? my 12 year old gets taken out for most tests, and gets extra help on our mcas, we live in one of the best school districts there is, so all his friends can't understand. i told my son tell then what you are comfortable with, and he says he just can't concentrate when their is a lot of kids in class, and they let him take it out of class. It has worked so far this year, and he's in sixth grade, next year all five schools, and the next town merge into the junior high as seventh grade, so hopefully more kids will be taken out with him! Yes, he is 17.  He normally takes tests with classes, but gets extra time, which he does before or after school.  He also uses an alphasmart to take notes with and uses a computer for essays in class.  As i recall the fact that he uses an alphasmart was no big deal. 

A few years ago, my dd and her friends complained that one student with ADHD in class got extra time on exams which they didn't think fair.  I needed to explain that to her.  She's very intelligent, but you think she might have figured it out having a brother that's ADHD.
jfla238841.2485185185I don't know how I feel about informing people because I meet so many adults, who are intelligent and well educated, yet still make comments to me like, "Lots of boys don't like to read.  Once your son finds something he really enjoys, he'll read," or "If you let him read comics or fun things like that, he'd read," like I haven't already tried these over and over, searching for anything and everything that will capture his interest and attention .  My favorite, of course, as everyone probably already knows because I've said it so many times, "Have you tried reading books to him?"      Uh, no, wow, I haven't thought of that.  If every parent out there read to their children like I have read to my son, their children would be reading grades and grades above level  .  Have mercy, smart, intelligent, well read, educated people can be downright ignorant when it comes to special needs.  So, I don't know.  It's a wonderful idea that your son could tell his fellow classmates, and they would say, "Wow!  I'm enlightened, now," but, unfortunately, I doubt it.  You've made some good points, especially in light of the fact that many educators do not seem to understand too!  I say that from experience of certificated teachers that all  listen carefully when I've  explained ADHD in the lunch room....and resource room teachers to whom I've explained some finer points. 

So how does does one answer and still retain personal integrity when bombarded with questions?   Dh and I model and expect honesty in our kids.  In difficult situations, I suggest that they find a statement that is honest though it may not answer the question directly.  Examples:  "It's personal." Or like today when I am letting ds come home early to study and finish up work rather than go to a few classes that are not as important.  The written excuse is "for an appointment."
(That is a personal appointment with himself.) 

I still welcome any ideas about responding to the onslaught of questions.  I'll find out what he did say later.

Oh, and let me share this story with you...I started talking to a woman after Easter services that my husband had told about my getting my son an IEP.  She has a Masters degree in science, and is a very accomplished scientist.  Her husband graduated from an Ivy League school and is a professor.  O.K., this is kind of how the conversation went, though I don't remember it verbatim:

"Your husband told me that you got your son help in school."

"Yeah, it was a pain, but it worked out in the end."

"What kind of help did you get him." 

I ran through some of the things on his IEP, and she replies, "He's in a special class now, right?"

I said, "No, he doesn't have to be.  He makes all A's and B's."

"Why does he get to do that?  Why does he get to stay in a regular class and use a computer and not have to take the writing TAKS?"

"Because he has dyslexia."

"I don't get that."

"Well, dyslexia is a developmental disorder.  He's now reading on level, but his writing is still severely impaired, so he's getting extra help to improve his writing skills. "

"Yeah, but I don't understand why he's allowed to get things other kids don't get.  If he can't do the work, shouldn't he be in a special education class?"

"No, he doesn't need to be.  He can keep up in general education, as long as writing is modified."

She shook her head and said, "I don't get that.  You know about that stuff, but I don't understand it."  Her body language was saying, "That's bull----!" 

End of conversation.  My attitude with people like this, is why even bother? 

O.K., we cross posted .  He can tell that he needs a quiet place to test, without telling them he has ADHD.  Honestly, this is an intervention, anyway.  Any school should allow this to any student who needs it.  It's really not an accommodation, and it saddens me that it is being thought of as one.