Getting very very quiet | ADHD Information

You're not alone there, I do it too. They're just not used to seeing us like that, are they?

Luckily though I am able to take off for a weekend if I really want to and have done before with a few girlfriends. It certaintly does recharge the batteries to leave the husband and kids behind for a wee while to be yourself and not wife or mother.

Can you not go away for a weekend?

I discovered that it worries your significant other.  They think that you're mad, sad, depressed or a combination of all of them.

I've had a lot to do lately (or at least it seems like a lot) and my mind has been in an ADD cycle of not being able to decide what to do first, second, etc.  I just really want to be alone, on a beach somewhere with nothing but my thoughts and the sound of the ocean. Unfortuneately can't  afford to pick up and go and leave the familly behind as much as I would love to.  So, mentally, I checked out.  I communicate in monosyllables.  I just call it a mental download, archiving old files that aren't used, cleaning up my hard drive.  Either way, I don't talk during these periods.  I don't want to engage with other people. NOt even my kids or husband.   It worries the husband to no end.  It shouldn't he's been married to me for almost 18 years and he's seen me do this about once a year.  Everytime, I explain, it's okay, I'm here, I'm not going to kill myself or anyone else. I just need some alone time and since I can't physically be alone, I've mentally checked into a beach hotel.  I'll be back in a couple of days.

Anyone else do this?

 

Hey, I thoguht you meant this forum is getting quiet. Which it does do.

I am quieter, much more noticably so by people around me, when distressed and/ordepressed. Sure. Maybe not to the degree you're speaking of though........
Yes, often.  First, though, I tell husband that I need to be alone for a while.  He respects this as I do when he tells me he needs to "chill" for a while.  We both need our space.  Sometimes, though, it annoys him..for selfish reasons...like when he wants to remind me of something and is impatient.  Too bad.  I don't interrupt him and I'm the one with ADD.  Common sense tells me to write a note and put it where he'll find it after he's chilled out.  I told him to do the same.

yes, i check out often. occassionally, for a week or so.

don't want to talk. or listen. or be messed with. or bugged.

i don't know how i got this way, but i know the stress of trying to appear normal, of trying to hide my shortcomings(like my struggle staying/being polite and communicative with the people i work with, and for) overloads me.

when that happens, i either withdraw, or i become the anti-seeker: short of temper, tact, and trust.

i do enjoy my periods of solitude, but they are often inconvenient. i usually need it most when i can afford it least.

it contributes to why i am sooo single. at least my kids are almost grown, and seem to handle it okay. they seem to accept that 'it is just how dad is'.

this need to have a safe space is one of the behaviours that convinced me i'm adhd. it is talked about in 'driven to distraction', the hallowell book.

Isn't that something?  Usually it's the other way around, with the woman all worried because the guy is quiet.  You're definitely not alone in needing that quiet time.  I find that quiet time is important for me to maintain my sanity.  Less sensory overload is healing.  Without quiet time, all my energy gets spent.  My body automatically craves quiet time.