son w/adhd | ADHD Information

I have 13 year old son W/ADHD he was diagnosed with it about 6 years ago and it's been a major struggle. He take's medicine once a day, I hate it but it is the only thing that get's him through a regular day. I also have 2 other sons who don't have it and they are so frustrated with having to deal with it.

We don't make the ADHD an issue in our family, it just is. I constantly feel torn because of it, any suggestions. Seperate time for all 3 individually is hard enough, I do what I can when I can. Any solutions that can make a family outing or family fun time easier. Things R ALWAYS a battle. P.S Do most dad's of ADHD kids have an espescially hard time when it's there son. My husband is great, but its like he can't deal with certain things and I have to take them on.

Need's help

If he hasn't been evaluated for six years, if it were me, I'd want him re-evaluated. In the teen years, often other stuff pops up that was always there, but it becomes more obvious, especially with extreme defiance and raging. There are other things it could be or it could be co-morbid. Has he ever seen a NeuroPsych? What concerns you? What is he taking and do you feel it helps him? Does he have night meltdowdns? Moodswings? Other red flags?

I think many men have trouble accepting disorders in their children and think that discipline is the answer. It seems harder for some men to accept that their child may not be perfect...

OlderMom38843.7614930556I don't know what to tell you to help with the family dynamics. Only wanted to say that I hope you figure something out and that things get better for you soon. Also, about your dh...mine is the exact same way. Refuses to acknowledge that anything is wrong (you didn't say yours did this but I thought I'd throw it in there) and I'm the one left holding the bag and doing everything. Other than this one thing he is the best dh in the world. If I figure out how to shake him out of it and get him to help I'll let you know what worked...... if you'll return the favor if you figure something out

Hi,

He was reevaulated 2 years, ago we see a psychiatrist and a psychologist. They are both wonderful. It just seems like no matter what we do about anything. It's always a struggle, we constantly have to come up with new ideas and none of the stick for very long. The reward system has been tried in several different ways. He take's concerta 36mg, Mood swings defenitely, meltdown's not so much, re as long as we keep him busy. He is and always has been a night person. I personally think's he get's the ADHD from me but I have never been diagnosed professionally. I just deal with it because I have learned soooo much through his experience with it.

He is growing up and I understand that he is becoming a young man but with the ADHD I think that makes it so much harder for him.

Thank's for the reply

Adolescence is rough and Adhd can make it tougher. I have three too and the typical solution is to walk away when it gets too crazy for them. What I used to think was funny was when Adhder was crazy before meds kicked -in in the a.m. and nonadhder was intolerant. Then later in the afternoon the Adhder on meds was intolerant of younger brother's typical noisy crazy kid stuff. I pointed out to them the difference in their daily quiet /active rhythms. I just tried to keep teaching tolerance. now at 17 and 14 they get along very well. Alot of it dh says is/was typical sibling dynamics.

Good Luck!
jfla238843.7805439815

I grew up with 6 brothers and 2 sisters I definetely know that bro/sister thing.

I swear I don't remember it being this loud.

It probably was, I just don't remember it

Thanks for the help.

Hi Water Spirit

U really sound a lot like me, when my husband read this letter with me

H said wow, there are other people like us!

We R checking into CHADD, scheduling is a problem, so we'll just have to see...

I did e-mail them for help but haven't heard back yet. Any idea's on seeing if there is any chapters closer to my home or seeing if one can get started.I can't be the only mom in my city with these problems.

Hi,

I really need to go to bed...here goes the hyperfocusing of the ADD mind!

CHADD is one source of support. You may or may not have an active chapter. My chapter is small with no regular meetings. If there isn't a chapter in your area I know CHADD is always happy to have a new one started. The downside is that it is a lot of work.

Another path you can take, which was recommended to me, is to start my own local support group. A woman I spoke with who doesn't live in my area said she made up fliers and posted them in pediatricians offices as well as pharmacies (where the kids are getting their prescriptions filled). I haven't tried this yet but it seems like a good idea.

Meanwhile I keep reading about ADHD, take my daughter to a therapist so she has someone neutral to talk to (and I get inside information), and recently my husband and I have been going to a different therapist to help us with developing better parenting skills. All of these have been very helpful in setting my expectations of how my family can work together. I must say we have come to find that doing things as a family works best if everyone loves what we're going to do, otherwise we have been spending one-on-one time which has been very enjoyable. I've stopped forcing the issue of having to do most things as a family.

You are not alone. I'm glad your husband is participating, it makes a world of difference, working as a team. The two of you will be your most important support group.

Hang in there. Let me know if I can be of any further support. I'm learning too.

Thanks! For the help I'll keep trying. U too!

Thank God for this site. I can go to sleep knowing that If I need help it's here.

When I have a little time again I'll be back. Have a great night

Hi,

My husband does, definetely acknowledges it, but is I guess is a typical man

my other 2 son's have a great relationship with their dad my my adhd kid doesn't

because they just can't seem to relate to each other on any level right now I'll write if things change, hopefully they do. Good luck to you too. the only thing I make my husband do right now is when he has errands to run I make him take my adhd kid with him as much as possible to at least to get them to hang out.

Sometime's its great, sometimes not but at least I get some peace and quiet once in a while... talk to ya soon

Hi,

I have a 12 yr old son with ADHD who was diagnosed and put on medication in second grade. He also has learning disabilities and struggles with school. My 10 year old daughter was recently diagnosed with ADHD.

Several things I have done to keep me sane are reading about ADHD, which keeps me more rational ,and creating a community of professionals to help support me. One of the sources of support often overlooked is seeing a therapist for me. Most recently both my husband and I have been seeing a therapist, mainly to discuss parenting skills. This has been amazingly helpful.

Another source of support is CHADD (Children and Adults with Add). It is a national organization and you can look for local chapters on their web site. I recently went to a conference my local CHADD sponsored which helped me feel I'm not the only one going through these struggles and it was a great place to network.

You also mentioned that you may also have ADHD. Personally, although I have not officially been diagnosed, I know from what I have read I have classic symptoms. Dealing with my son with ADHD and LD along with my 10 year old daughter recently being diagnosed with ADHD, it is a recipe for much frustration on everyone's part. I recently got to the point where I scheduled an appoint with a neurologist to be evaluated for ADHD personally. As is typical of people who don't know much about ADHD I was diagnosed as being depressed and was put on a antidepressant. This was a good thing. I had been put on Wellbutrin a few years earlier when I wasn't coping well. I specifically requested this medication because it is unoffically observed as helping ADHD along with depression. Being on the medication really has helped "normalize" me. I don't find myself over reacting to the kids and I'm able to be a better parent.At this point I don't need the official diagnosis.

Hope these ideas help.