help w/ a decision | ADHD Information
I've been there with my step son, to where I started throwing things away that really didn't help things had a carefree whatever attitude. So then we started playing this chart game which really worked, to where now we pick up (when we are in a good mood lol) I made a chart on a board and if we got stickers on the board we got a "suprise" and then at the end of the week if we had like 5 days out of 7 with stickers then we got our big suprise, at Target or dollar sotres you can find cheap prizes but that does help a lot....Seems like him picking up is one of the only issues we don't have a problem with, I guess because we get a lot of praise. Good luck!I understand your frustrations about the room. I wouldn't take away his toys and stuff without discussing it with him first. It seems like that would be punishing him for something he can't control. You may be surprised though...if you sit down and talk to him about it he may not even want all the stuff (especially if it's toys and crap he doesnt' play with anymore at 14) and he may even feel that it is all a big distraction that he has to deal with daily. I cleared out my son's room when he was 12..we did it together. I got him to agree by reminding him that he was almost a teenager, and how many teenagers' did he knwo that played with army men, or Pokemon cards, or legos and the multitudes of other crap he didn't want to part with. We agreed he would keep books, video games and movies and dvd and cd's, all electronics and he could pick out five toys that he had an emotional attachment to to keep for remembrance's sake. He only picked out 3. Rationalizing with him worked out great for me and it just might for you too. Good Luck!Need advice
I am going through my adhd sons room to clean it up (again it's a disaster) I am serisoulsly considering throwing everyhing out unless its school related.
Leaving nothing but a bed and desk for school stuff.
I am sooooooooo d.. tired of this stuff, I don't have the time for it anymore
I have a 3yr old standing beside me now cause there's so much to do and no time cause his room is well beyond descritiption. This always put's me way behind where i should be.
This totally makes me feel like a bad mom cause no matter what i do nothing works. Am I wrong? Or is this a desperate idea 
Pleeeeese help
P.S. how do I deal with how he's going to feel when he get's home from school.
That's not going to be easy
Hello needhelpw/son,
Know the feeling very well!!! Let's see....6 hours to clean-up his room on Saturday. (I was determinded not to do it this time.) Had garbage bags in hand to get rid of everything. Just to let you know that the whole job could have taken maybe a hour or two max. Finally, got what could have been a 10 minute job done in about 45 when I told him he couldn't go swimming the whole weekend. Dad and I have gotten rid of stuff and removed items temporarily before and he became totally distraught. I know how exhausting it is to constantly tell your child to pick-up and end up doing it yourself! Neverending battle!!
I like what StaceyannD suggested.
Stay strong needhelpw/son and keep posting!!
Thanks you guys,
I've just shut his door and let it go, I have put everything into a box so that he can seperate what needs to be thrown away and then the rest put away.
I work at night and decided if it's not done when i get home he will have to just deal with whatever I decide to do with his stuff.
The stickers r a great idea i, may try that again and see if it works he's 14 and sometimes I have to go bigger, not more expensive, just special time, movie stuff like that.
Thanks again, off to play with my 3yr old.
Julie & oldermom
Thanks, you r a hugh help, after I calmed down I read this it's bound to
work. or at least try.
I'll let u know
I would try to teach him how to clean his room. He probably has such poor organizational skills that he'll need you to set up baskets to help him sort things out and will actually need to learn how to clean the room. ADHD kids have executive function disorder, which makes some things that come natural to others be very difficult for them. I would work on it with him so that he can do it, not get overwhelmed and frustsrated. You will probably have to prod him often to clean up as, since it's hard for him to keep things straight, he won't be that motivated to try. You may have to clean with him the first time.
Thanks you guys re great. I will do that. I'll let u know how it goes.
Here's a dumb ?
I have to vacuum my house once a week, . Ask me how many time's I have to vacuum my son's room? (several) His is the only room that i have to use the hose of the vc every time i go in there. Scraps of paper, tissue wrapping paper, now i know where MY stuff goes. Yes he's creative and that's great. I guess thats it, I am going to try the box's idea and see how it goes.
I have a freind who does this and had created an "easy come easy go" attitude. The kids don't value anything and don't bother to clean up b/c they know mom will. The oldest is now 17 and when it gets really bad he cleans on his own. With that child it was a situation where she had to pick her battles and there were way more battles with him!
My 7 yr old has issues with this and the neuro psych thinks he may have some OCD issues about this and other things b/c he can't let go of things. It may be a scrap of paper with a doodle on it, but he can't get rid of it b/c he drew it while his favorite story was being read. It will be on the floor of his room, but he acts as though it were hanging in the Louvre!!!
My mom was a natural organizer, and me...NOT. 2 summers we spent going over everything together, thing by thing. Into boxes called keep, donate, and toss. and then suborganized everything from there into marked bins and such. From that time, I've been super orgainzed as well. Messy kids just get overwhelmed and don't know where to start, if you coach him through the process, it might take a few times during kidhood but I bet he'll get it. I am glad that my mom never did anything with my stuff that I was not aware of, even though she threatened! I have been known, however, to sneak into my son's room when he was little and gather a few things he never played with and would never miss, just to make room for new holiday things, until he was old enough where we would weed through everything together.
I was so emotionally attached to every little thing, and I was so brave to get rid of so much, it' something they can be proud of in the end. OK, I did run back out to the garbage to retrieve my Tony the Tiger action figure~~ 
It's gonna be OK, promise!
After you have cleaned his room let him know that the TRASH bag will be coming around from time to time to make sure that he keeps it that way...clean. Now this is what I have done..cleaned my sons room and explained that it needs to be played in...not made to look like a disaster. He is allowed ONE or TWO things out to play with at a time..no more that 2. EVER! Besides how can he play with more than that at a time anyway. Ok that didn't work...so we changed it..he was only allowed to play with ONE thing at at time and when he put that away he could then play with something else...ok once a week I'd warn him that the trash bag was going to be checking on his room as soon as the timer rang (set a timer and let him 'hear' it go off so he knows what it means) ok..well off I go to his room and he had left his car collection laying all over his room...they went in the trash bag and that's where they stayed until the next time the trash bag came along...ok well we bought storage for EVERYTHING in his room. EVERYTHING has a 'place' so he can see where things go. Now he got all his cars back and I haven't had ONE .. not one problem with him keeping his room clean. He's 7 and will be 8 in July. G'luck...but believe me...the TRASH BAG works.