Need help with college | ADHD Information
hey distracted-Alot of people still don't understand - and perhaps will never understand what it is like to be in our shoes. Even now that I'm medicated, I still get the occasional shun like, "ADHD is an excuse for not wanting to learn..." Bastards. It's not their fault though. And don't be sorry you told him. Don't feel like you have a serious problem, because even though it is a deficiency, well, where one sense fails, another is heightened. Let me guess. You're creative, or have a serious hobby, or you're good at something you really enjoy. If I'm wrong, you just haven't found it yet...but it's there. If so, then remember in these situations that people say hurtful things because they don't understand. It's usually THEIR excuse for not wanting to learn!
Adam
Adam-
Thanks for your response, it makes me feel better to know that others understand all this. I think thats the best thing about finding out about this. On one hand it's discouraging since it apparently can't be cured or fixed but on the other hand, at least now I know why my head doesn't work like other people's and why I can't think like I want, and that I'm not necessarily stupid or lazy like so many said and that there's actually a name for it and other people have made it. That's been so amazing to me and I can't believe how much my life has changed in 12 days (since diagnosed).
Not to pry, but your meds work? You can think now? While the man who is the DSS person at the college was nice about talking about meds, the one teacher was like, "So, they're putting you on medication right? Because I should probably know about that" which in the words seems okay, but I don't know, I think I'm like hypersensitive or something, because that upset me too. And then at the end, he was like "Is that all?" and I wanted to yell at him that yes, that was all, it was just my entire life and it being completely turned upside down in the past week and a half, but yes, that was all and I would quit bothering him now. He says he has more patience with "mental health issues".
The big thing about him is that I don't want to disappoint him because he's a teacher I have great respect for, and he's also my advisor and my supervisor (I TA for him), so what he thinks is a big deal and so now I'm thinking well maybe I should have just worked harder, not told him and just kept trying to do better. I don't know, I guess that at least now he's heard about it and he can't say in the future he hasn't. I don't think at all that he was trying to be hurtful, but like you said, that he just doesn't understand.
About what you said about being creative, I always have been in the writing area. Like I wrote poems and one book and all that and enjoyed it until I didn't have time with schoolwork to keep doing it. But yeah, that's really cool that being that is part of this. It seems like I see and feel things more intensely than other people I know and that I see the world completely differently than they do, so maybe that's part of where the creativity comes from. What is your thing? Have you found it yet?
Thanks a lot for your response, it's so great to know that other people have this too and to have people to talk about it with. Sorry this is so long, I seem to ramble. Thanks!
No, I am not yet. The doctor who diagnosed me is a clinical psychologist, so apparently she can't prescribe any medication. A person at the college I attend said that if things aren't better (I think he meant by teachers helping or something -I'm unclear on that) in 1 or 2 weeks that I should think about medication. I have been reading up on it, and I would be willing to try it, but am still waiting for the paperwork and everything from my doctor. Also, my insurance is almost gone for the year from what it cost to get tested, so I will have to hope the college will help me out with financial aid or something. I told some of my teachers today, and they knew nothing about it! They did not even know what the letters stood for, and while both listened, I don't think they really understood. One especially, I do not think he really believes it is real, and he mentioned something about it was okay if "people aren't as smart as other people" which was hurtful to me. But then again, I had accidentally zoned out right before that so am not really sure of the context. They said that I should just ask if I need anything, but one just said that he was required to do it by law anyways, so I don't know. I'm very confused by the response, I don't know if he was just surprised or what, but as of now, I am sorry I told him.
Thanks a lot for the response, I appreciate it.
Sometimes peoples first reactions can be pretty strong. Perservere with just doing your best and after a while, this fellow might relax a little to see that you are just a normal person, dealing with your own challenges.
If you feel that it would help, hand your friend some information on adhd, and show him a list of all the famous people who have/had it.
educate him, and he may start to understand you a little better.
Hi all,
This is my first time on these boards. I was diagnosed with ADHD not quite two weeks ago. I am entering my junior year of college, and last year was so incredibly difficult for me academically that I knew something had to change or that I might not make it through. School has always been hard, especially in the areas of math and foreign languages, but last semester the constantly being distracted by the smallest thing, the inability to focus in class and on homework and the overwhelming feeling of all I had to do, ranging from getting dinner to taking exams, took its toll on me. I am working with my school now, but have not yet told my teachers. I am nervous about telling them, what they will think (I don't want them thinking I intend to skate by and am reluctant to tell them because I am afraid they won't understand) and how to tell or IF to tell friends (not that I have many - I'm too different) and others near me. So if anyone could give me any advice, I would really appreciate it.
distracted, are you taking medication, if you are, perhaps you should talk to your doctor about changing the dosage, and if you arent perhaps it may be time to try some to help you get through this challenging time.
distracted, did you not have a father figure growing up - as you seem to really need the approval of your teachers. You need to so some soul searching on your own personal self esteem, perhaps get some counselling to improve it.
With ADD you need to learn to be tough and strong. There are many many problems associated with it throughout life. I strongly recommend, working on your self esteem.
My school is sending info out to my teachers now, so hopefully understanding will follow. He is really very nice, a great man really, a very kind man and I think once he knows more about it, he will get it and know the challenges. I am finding that a few more of my teachers know a little more about ADHD, but it is amazing to me how little info has made its way around around my school. Unfortunately it seems like my math teacher is one of the least understanding which is so frustrating. I hate math.Rae-Maybe it's just me, but I find your comment inappropriate and insulting. Not all of my teachers are male, it seems sexist to assume they would be. The one I was referring to plays a large part because he is my advisor, teacher and supervisor and because he IS a kind man. What about acknowledging the kindness of a fellow human being signals to you a lack of self esteem? Are you a licensed therapist? Possibly but I doubt it, as rarely would a professional say what you did. And yes, I have a father figure - does that make you feel better? Maybe now you can find something else to attribute my "lack" of self esteem to - maybe ADHD? Whoa, there's a shocker. Or possibly rude people commenting on things that there is no proof of, because it is not there and posting replies where there should be support, not insults. I also have very nice female teachers, but I guess I should not say that, as I guess it means I'm an orphan. How utterly ridiculous.
Luvmykids - Sorry so late in responding. I have been working on getting my paperwork in order and trying to keep up with classes. That's great that you found out about your son's ADHD so soon, I wish I had known about mine earlier. How is your son doing in college so far? Is his coach helping? They decided to not start me on Concerta, why I am still unsure of. Instead they started me on Ritalin, 20 mgs, twice a day. I took it the first morning and had a really bad reaction, so I called my doctor here and she said to stop taking it that day. So I started it at half that the next day, and still didn't do very well. So then they switched me to Strattera, which is better physically but not as great mentally. I only notice the difference a few times a day and only with a few things.
I think they may have to up the dose, but I don't know. I'm hoping it just takes a little while to build up. One of the things I've noticed is that the words I think about saying, I am able to actually say more now which is great. I have also been able to control my impulses more, not as much as I would like, but more so which is great.
Actually, I am a female. :) That's great that your son has made it this far even with all those people trying to stop him. I was also told I would not make it this far, though no one knew why I had such trouble. I was always considered lazy or stupid, and they told me to stop trying to get my high school diploma, that I never would, to just get my GED, and then they told me that I would never be able to get my GED either, to just quit and get a job. But I wanted a diploma and I wanted to go to college.
My professors, most of them, do not understand and do not know what to do. They either don't see how it would affect their classes or they don't know how to help me or they don't see how, since I made it this far, it affects me that much and why I should need accomodations. I have not asked for that many, just help with notes and the possibility of tape recording classes. I think those will be resisted by some though. They had to change my math classes as I was not doing well in math and also had to drop the foreign language I was taking because that did not go well either. I have the most trouble, by far, in those two types of classes.
My advisor is more understanding now, and says that if I give him some information, he will read it which to me, is huge. Another professor told me that he thinks this condition is not usually biological but really due more to sin (I guess he thinks I'm being punished, I don't know), or bad parenting. He talks about the "overmedication of America" a lot and says there's a whole generation of kids being drugged with Ritalin (he was steamed when he found out I was taking it). My response to that attitude is that he doesn't have it, so he doesn't get it, and he doesn't have to deal with it. Get in our heads, or those of our loved ones who don't know how to help us and then tell us we're just being drugged. I think he was actually trying to help, and he seems to be worried about me as I had a bad reaction the first day of Ritalin in his class. I have another teacher who is really cool about it, who used to work in the public school system and so is used to it he says. He is trying to help me. Thanks so much for the support, and I hope your son is doing well. It sounds like he is smart and determined and has a good support system, so I'm sure he can make it. Thanks also for the fact sheet link, I might give one of those to my advisor.
Hi there distracted..its great to hear from you and I know that your agenda is probably very hectic with school so respond whenever you have the time. I come here quite often so respond when your able to. My son is taking remedial classes in math and reading/writing and its been quite a transition going from high school to college. This is a 16 week course and during this time, they are preparing him to retake the reading/writing and math exams. He failed these exams because he wasnt taught the material in high school that is necesarry to pass these exams. Once they retest him, if he passes they will give him an ADHD coach. His professors are very nice but of course they have no clue about ADHD and wont allow him to use his labtop. This is a major problem for my son and its making things much more difficult. He seems to be acculmating but its a difficult process for him and I can see that he is getting very despondent. Also, he had a girlfriend that broke up with him the second week of college so dealing with that rejection and trying to make the transition into a college setting is overwhelming him. I guess that what he has been told through the years about him being lazy, stupid and a loser is something he might perceive to be true at this time and even though hes a bright child, he doesnt see that as an asset because there is that constant fear of failure. However, he does have a great support system at home as well as in school thanks to the office of disability so Im keeping my fingers crossed. I will let you know how things go as the issues arise.
The thing with medication is that it takes quite a while sometimes to get the right med and the rise dose and this could be very discouraging. It took about 4 months before the right medication and dose was found for my son. There is no time frame in terms of when the right medication is found because its all very individualistic. Staterra is a fairly new drug and for some it works wonders and some it doesnt. I know it gets frustrating but hang in there as hopefully, you will at some point respond well to one of the many medications for ADHD. I'm rooting for you and you sound like your such as lovely young lady who is intuitive, bright and truly understands why people who are clueless say the things they say. Because of those dont understand or live ADHD, constantly trying to educate people or get them to believe you is a battle in itself. Your right when you say, he doesnt have it so he doesnt get it. Its really not ADHD that holds a person back, its the ignorance of others (some that truly mean well and some that dont) that cause the demise of self esteem, so much so that for many ADHd'ERS, the negative feedback and lack of understanding makes them just want to throw in the towel.
I met a woman on an aol support board a few years ago who is now a retired special education teacher. She herself is ADHD and so are her two daughters. She is also an accomplished author. This woman has provided me with information and support through the years that has proven to be invaluable. At some point I was also so fed up and angry with people who didnt understand or refused to understand so she in fact recommended that I print out information and hand it out to teachers and anyone else that had a problem understanding ADHD. I will send you some great links through PM and perhaps you can print out the information and pass it along. People tend to believe and undertstand things more when they are reading credited information. God forbid that they should know that because you live ADHD you are truly the expert but we cant change how people think unfortunately.
When you have time, please let me know how you are doing with the trial of meds and if I can be of any help to you at all, never hesitate to email me as I am truly grateful for the help and support you are giving me as well. Your a remarkable young lady who is definately going places 
distracted - honestly I never meant to offend anyone and my comments are only based on care and concern - it is hard to express ones emotions through text. I do care - but I am a bit lacking in tact at times - so forgive me that please
I do honestly admire your devotion and willingness to improve your life - do not doubt that and I wish you every success in your endeavours.
All I was trying to do was to give you a different "outsiders perspective" but you never needed to accept it. It was purely a fleeting thought of a stranger.
I am only on this forum because I love and relate to the people on it, not to hurt them. So my truth is only mine and I will try to consider your feelings in future posts distracted - okay. Consider this a public apology 
Hi Luvmykids (nice name by the way), thanks for your response. They have a person who deals with kids, and I think his office is called Disabled Student Services or something, but he also works with other issues as well, like compliance with discrimination laws and such. My college is small and private, so maybe thats why there is not more. Wow, that's awesome that your son is getting all that right off the bat! Especially the coach, that's really nice. Does he have a coach now? I was wondering how that worked out. I am going on meds on Monday and I think they want me to start on Concerta which I don't know a whole lot about. I am hoping that once I get it, I will finally be able to think straight so I can study better. Thanks for the encouragement, that was really nice to hear and I really appreciate it. I'm just so happy that I've been diagnosed now so that hopefully I can make it through the rest of my years here and actually graduate. This semester is not going so well, with telling people around me (I still don't know who to tell among my friends or if I should) and with trying to keep up with five classes, including math, Spanish and two classes in my major. I'm just hoping that once I get the meds in me, it will get a lot better. I have heard that people can change once they get on meds and that there's a significant difference in their behaviors, which makes sense, and I'm hoping that will convince people who don't believe me now. Again, thanks so much for the encouragement, it's awesome to hear from people who understand. it's awesome to hear from people who understand
Hi distracted......I think your name is is pretty cool too lol I think its awesome that can connect with a college student as this is where I am at with my son at this point in life. I believe we can both help each other. Im so sorry it took this long for you to be diagnosed but its never too late. My son was diangosed at age 7 so I ws able to have accomodations provided for him within the school system throughtout his required years of school. My son had and has an IEP (Individualized Educational Plan) and the IEP specifies the accomodations that the child need to function and succeed in school. In order to get accomodations in college, one has to have an IEP. I didnt realize when writing my first post to you that since youve been just recently diagnosed so of course you wouldnt have an IEP.......sorry........duh My son wil be a freshman starting on Monday so I will let you know how it goes with an AD/HD coach. The purpose of the coach is to help my son organize and structure his day.
Anyway, you said that you will be taking concerta. That is a very good choice for a college student. However, when first starting meds, you go through a trial of meds as what works for one person doesnt always work for another so dont get discouraged. Concerta is longactng ritilan and while going through a trial of meds, once you get the right dose and the right med, the quality of your life will improve tremendously as having AD/HD is a quality of life issue. Meds will not change who you are but rather allow you to focus so that in doing so, you can bring out your full potential. When the meds work, its the person that deserves the credit, not the medication. Medication will allow you to focus better and once focused what your truly meant to accomplish will rise to the surface. In terms of behavioral changes, medication will control the impulsivity factor therefore allowing you to make a choice. It will be like....ReadyAim, Fire...not Aim, Fire.......Oops
I find you to be a remarkable young man to get this far in life without any interventions. Its very encouraging to me to embark upon your post as even though my son had many interventions through the years, educators still tried to shoot my son down by telling him that although he was smart, he would never cut it in college due to the pressure it would bring upon him. This infuriated me and once again stabbed me in the heart. Ignorance about AD/HD in society is a major roadblock in terms of an ADHD'ER getting the help, encourgement and support that one needs. Ive encountered two types of people in this world since starting this journey with my son and AD/HD.
There are people that want to educate themselves through accurate information and then there are people that just want to be right and only believe and hear what they want to hear. After readng your post, I know I made the right decision for my son and besides, he wants to go to college. Your living proofthat he can succeed and although your having some problems right now, there is a light at the end of this tunnel. Despite your challenges, your trying to find the best way to acheive to your full potential and you will. A support system is crucial so whenever you need support, feel free to email me anytime for as I stated earlier, we can help each other so......chin up Below is a link that will give you more insight into AD/HD and the role of medication. The organizationis called CHADD(Children and Adults with AD/HD)