I've been reading the posts on this board and most of the people here sound like me. My 7 yr. old son has been recently diagnosed ADHD. We've triend everything to keep from medicating him and finally tried medication last fall. After a few tries, he is now on Concerta 27 mg.
He has been so unhappy in school this year. He is in first grade, and he has never had so much trouble making friends before this school year. My husband and I think it has a lot to do with his teacher. She used to teach 3rd grade for several years and now is down to first and I think she is just the wrong match for him. I hate sending him to school every day and I am looking into homeschooling. His behavior is not such a problem since he has been on meds. We enjoy him and love him so much and it's so hard dealing with him being rejected by other kids at school. He makes frends everywhere else we go -parks, sporting events, mc donalds, even church. I've talked to the social worker and she is going to observe him.
I know the school year is almost over but I'm worried about next year. We've met with the principal about our concerns about his current teacher and next year's teacher. I guess we are doing as much as we can, I just feel that it's not enough. We've invited kids over from his class and they say they can't come over - at least that's what the parents say. We are a normal family, my husband and I have both been raised in this town. Many people know us and seem to like us. We just don't know what is going on. I've observed him in class and I don't see a real difference between him and the other kids. I'm so confused and desperate for my son's life to be better. Thanks for letting me vent.
Can you try having a play date with one of the kids in the class?
maybe go bowling or somthing like that
I remember going through this with my child in the early grade school years and it is unbelievably painful to watch. My son had the same problem and still does.....outside of school he makes friends like crazy and keeps them, but at school he is a loner. For him I think his self esteem contributes to that (I know he is more insecure of himself and remembers vividly the years of being called stupid, retarded and slow) and also I think his social and emotional immaturity contributes somewhat. Things really started to get better for him in fourth grade....he started getting invited to parties, kids started showing up for his parties and he started having a few playdates. He is 14 now and starting to catch up and things were going wonderfully the beginning of this year as far as getting along with the kids IN school....but then he reacted to a medication and his school social life plunged drastically. I feel fortunate that he has 4 very, very good friends (two he goes to school with and two he does not). They are really sticking by him through this tough time he is going through right now.
I'm not sure how much your son's teacher has to do with this issue. It really just sounds like he is classic ADD and misses the social cues. That's just a guess though. I do know that groups of kids together in a school setting or in the classroom are much more intolerant of behavior that is at all different from the norm than kids you would meet one on one or in small groups at the park, church or in the neighborhood. All of my sons really good friends were met, made and kept outside of the school environment. I know how painful this is for you. My ADHD'er is fourteen and it still breaks my heart to see him going through social issues. This last year has been incredibly bad and I'm so ready for him to just be okay.
OH, lovemybabies, I'm so in the same boat. My son has had such a bad time in school this year and he's so down on himself (check out my post just a few minutes ago). Good thing is, we live in a small town and he has a cousin in his class that only lives down the road (It's a rural area so it's really only 3 houses away but about 3/4 mile down the road). He's still a friend. I, too, am worried about next year. My son refuses to do his work in school and I'm so afraid of how that will affect him next year. Every year builds on, and is harder, that the last and I can't let him get behind. I had ameeting with his teachers and the counselor two weeks ago and at the end of the meeting we all were just ... like... we didn't know what to do. None of us had any answers. The teachers had tried all they had in their bag of tricks. When I got home I sent the kids into the house and I just sat in my car and cried, for 15 minutes I cried! I don't know what to do.[QUOTE=joemom]Excellent! I am so happy for you and your son....
I got this book called Raise your child's Social IQ -stepping stones to people skills for kids....the book is excellent because you can make a plan and goals with your childed for developing people skills and making friends ( it could be a great summer project).
I got mine from Amazon.com
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Who is the author? this way I can look for the book PM me please. Jill
Well, we invited another classmate over yesterday and it was great. The boys played with legos, and video games and ate chips. When the mom came, the little boy didn't want to leave. This is the first kid that has accepted an invitation to come over and play all year. I slept well last night because of the smile on my little guy's face. I'm going to try to be more involved in school next year with PTA etc. because I hope that other parents will get to know us as a family and see that our kids come from a "normal" (whatever that may be) family. Maybe they will ease up on my son.
Thanks for the replies! There are so many highs and lows with my son that I just want to cry sometimes.
Excellent! I am so happy for you and your son....
I got this book called Raise your child's Social IQ -stepping stones to people skills for kids....the book is excellent because you can make a plan and goals with your childed for developing people skills and making friends ( it could be a great summer project).
I got mine from Amazon.com
bumping up so more can read