what to expect

Hello,

I am new to this board and have been reading as many posts as I can in the past 2 days.  This is such a wonderful board and I am glad to have found it.

Would any one be willing to offer input?  Here is my situation:

I was diagnosed with severe adhd and ocd last week.  Previously, I was treated (very loosely by the VA) for bi-polar disorder and took Zoloft for 3 years.  I recently sought out mental care on the rec of a university physician treating me for insomnia. 

My psych said immediately that she thought my adhd symptoms were prominant and that bi-polarity was most like a misdiagnoses or a symptom itself of adult adhd/ocd.  My family's reaction was:  are you just figuring that out at 31?  Whatever.  I have always known inside that I had some kind of chemical/mental imbalance, but since I have made it through a BA, MA, and as of 2 weeks ago, a PhD (still writing dissertation though) in 6 years + 7 years of military service all before 31, I thought it couldn't be that bad. 

Anyhow, the Zoloft made me feel good, but I started to realize that it made me too lacksidasical and actually exacerabated some of the problems associated with ADHD/OCD.  That is, rather than curbing these behaviors, it made me just not give a damn about acting them out.  Does this make sense?  Like, I am impulsive and spend all my paycheck the first week EVEN MORE EASILY with Zoloft because I don't even have that mechanism that makes me worry about it--without the Zoloft at least I felt fear of spending all of my money.  Now, I'm like, "I'll deal with that when I get to it."  It has also pretty much killed my ability to concentrate on anything for any length of time and my short term memory as well.  I have made it through my graduate degree by rereading everything and working pretty much all day and all night around the clock, making up for extended breaks and constant mind-wandering by working incessantly. 

Anyhow, I have stopped the Zoloft (though she told me to keep it for now) about 4 days ago, and already I am slightly more focused and definitely more edgy and emotional.  I don't care.  I need my focus and my self-checking mechanism (which is already severely impaired) back. 

I am looking forward to a medication that will help me focus.  I would be happy if I could just get 4-5 hours of uninterrupted, linear thought each day just so my brain could stop racing and reading researching won't be like fighting ten men at once. 

Would anyone please offer their opinions about the following:  a medication that may be a good "starter?"  I suspect my psych will put me back on wellbutrin as well because we discussed that briefly.  And, are my expectations for the medication overcharged?  I am expecting that I may be able to complete projects without getting up to go shopping for a pink shower curtain with poodles (because somehow that becomes immensely important in the middle of any task I am doing), and that I may be able to remember things better, listen when people are talking, and most of all, as I am an academic (English Literature) be able to articulate my thoughts better instead of searcing through my brain frantically for words only to discover that I forgot the question? 

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

One final note:  this summer, I am off to wrap up dissertation research.  I am writing up a schedule tomorrow and a list of goals for this summer with the hopes that I may actually be able to get some of these things accomplished with the help of medication.  Without meds, I will get them done because I am used to hard work, but honestly you all, I don't think I have the mental and physical strength to continue swimming against the stream like this.  I feel like I am running up a down escalator and that eventually I'll get to the top, but by the time I get there, I will be too tired to care. 

Thank you

I trialed 18 different regimens before finding the best for me.

Emperical diagnoses, I guess the doctors were guessing.

Well, butrin and Ritalin LA work the best for me.

Congrats on the B.A., M.A., and Ph.D.

Thanks for serving my country.

I applaud your survival.

And your pink

shower

thing

I don't know about a "starter" medication, but for somebody with multiple mental diagnoses, make sure you have a GREAT pdoc going into it. 

Some important questions to ask before you trust an MD with your well being and sanity:

1) Does your doc treat adult ADHD and prescribe stimulant meds?  (If either answer is no, get another doc.  Even if stims aren't the right meds for you, any doc that DOESN'T prescribe them is ignorant right off the bat.)

2)  What method does the doc use to find effective doses?  Bunch of people are not bumped up gradually and get the wrong idea about the meds.  Also, treating underlying depression/anxiety first can be important.  Being able to pay really close attention to your depression or anxiety is bad, ok its BAD.  Get the emotional stuff under control first, IMO.

If it is truly ADHD and not a mimic condition, stimulant meds are the most effective choice for most people.  That means ritalin, adderall, concerta...zoloft and wellbutrin are antidepressants - like you said we just don't care we can't remember sh**.

When I was first diagnosed, my pdoc said, "It is like driving 80 miles an hour down the freeway with the emergency brake on.  You get where you are going but you burn a lot of rubber on the way."

Nice to meet you, good luck, let us know how it goes!