I think I am crazy, or is it just ADHD

Hi Passion,

First, let me say, that I so understand what you experience, as far as misplacing and losing things that most people wouldn't lose.  I was put on probation at work (I'm a dance instructor), for showing up to teach my class without my dance music.....oy, vay.  I have lost, keys, forgot to show up to classes I was teaching, always forget to show up for therapy, overdraft my checking acct, show up to teach class with 2 left shoes, etc, etc.  This has gone on all my life.  I was sooooo tired living like a total flake.  I know that I am a bright woman, yet I don't come across that way to others.  Unlike you, I did horribly in school, and was always an underachiever.  As of three weeks ago, I went on Straterra.  Got off to a rocky start, because I was on too high a dose (40mg), so I went down to 25mg for 2 weeks, and am now at 40 again, for the past 2 weeks.  I have to say, I am super focused.  People around me are noticing, including my boss.  I can't believe how much cleaner my house is, how much more I am able to get done (regarding the things I usually hate to do), I am remembering my dances in one day, rather than the 2 weeks it usually takes me. I also, make sure I have everything I need before I leave the house.  It has been hard to believe that this is me.  I also, am looking into a new career, and have the focus to read and interpret what I'm reading.  I hope you can find a way to slow down, and focus on what you're doing.  I could not do it without help.  Good Luck.  Lynn

Thanks so much for everyone that has replied....I was having a rough day the other day and needed some feedback..unfortunately, I just got it all today...I am patiently waiting for my psych appointment....I just found out the guy I am going to is a real asshole...he is only been here a few months and is already leaving....I am not sure this will be the best place to discuss my symptoms, but the wait everywhere else is months.  

Although I wish no one else had the problems that I do, it is great hearing that I am not alone.  I could relate to all of the stories that each of you discussed.  I too have had problems with checking accounts ( I lost my checkbook in Walmart and had $3000.00 worth of charges by the time I realized it was gone...the bank people always hated to see me come in).  I can understand the two different shoes comment.  I showed up for my first day at a new job teaching behavioral disordered teenageres with two different shoes...I thought I was walking funny and when I looked down, I was wearing one black flat and one black high heel...Luckily my boyfriend at the time came to my rescue before anyone noticed.  The stories go on and on....It's fun to laugh at them later, but at the time, you just want to crawl off in a hole and die.....

I look forward to trying the medication...my hubby and I are going to start marriage counseling next week.  We have only been married a month, but considering I am ADD and he is a little (alot) OCD....I think we need to get a head start.  I actually think we have a lot to offer each other if we can just keep from driving each other crazy...

Thanks again for the feedback...I would love to stay in touch with you guys....

Hi. I am a Life Coach Expert specializing in helping adults with ADD. I think it is very possible you are a woman of great intellectual capacity who has ADD. Please note that ADD symptoms seem to get worse when one is under a great deal of stress. Also, recent studies have shown that as women get older and their hormone levels change their ADD symptoms may get worse.

  I would encourage you to seek out medical help for a diagnosis and consider medication and ADD coaching. It will make your life a whole lot easier! Wishing you great success!

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oh yeah, that sounds SOOOO much like me!   I can really relate.  I spend so much time looking for things I have misplaced.  I spend probably a quarter of mytime looking for things, and another quarter doing stupid stuff like web surfing. That means I have half the time to get everything done than most people have, and wonder why I'm always rushing around.  I also thrive on organizing large events but can't pay bills on time.  My husband also can't understand why I can't just remember these things, and why I am doing my sons weekly homework assignment with him 5 min. before he leaves for school on Fri. morning! qoute "how can you have a PhD and be so clueless!" But still, we have been married 20 years.

Rosina, thanks for the links.....very cool!

I have a mental health/counseling background and my husband is a physician.  I have a child and a sister that have been diagnosed with ADHD.  I have thought for years that I probably am also, but then again, if I was truly ADHD how could I have made it through grad school and have a successful career, right? 

Let me tell you a little about my past two weeks.  I am known for always loosing things, like car keys, check books, purses etc....over the years I guess I have just gotten lucky and only had a few major problems with the things that I have lost.  I spend a lot of time each day trying to find the items I have put up so that I wouldnt loose them, or backtracking my steps to figure out what I was planning to do next.  I always have about 50 projects going.  I work in public relations, so I have tons of energy and am quite successful at my job.  However, rarely am I at work on time, you can never see the bottom of my desk, if it werent for my secretary I wouldn't remember my appointments....etc.....However, I have been able to function... for the most part....

Over the last few weeks I have had a lot going on...I have not been able to keep it together very well.  On a trip to Colorado last week with my daughter, I locked my keys in my car, left my credit card at a restraunt, and lost my bill fold twice.  Today I was an hour late for work, even though I got up an hour early.  I forgot to give my child her medication.  Left to go to the school to give it to her...got there, couldn't find the meds, went home, tore the house upside down looking for it, went back to the car, found it in the car, drove back to the school, forgot to stop at the school and was half way to work before I realized that I was on my way to the school instead of work and that I didnt even have my work cloths on yet....took the meds to school, went back home, finished getting ready, went to work, felt like a failure and looser, wondered why my boss keeps me around, wondered how I have such a hard time with day to day task.....looked down....OH MY GOD, I forgot to put on my bra......

I am just completely worn out today...I feel like a horrible mother...I am tired of being late to work...disorganized...you can't see the bottom of my desk...my car has no place to sit from the piles of papers....my house was clean today, until I ramsacked it looking for the meds...my laundry is piled sky high....my bills need paid....

I can't focus at work...I don't want to start on any of the projects at home...I usually just feel like escaping, I usually do...go on a trip....go to sleep....things pile up....I feel more and more overwhelmed. 

I usually, in a frenzy, get it all back in order and swear I am going to keep it that way, but it never happens.....it's a vicious cycle and I am just sooooo tired....I want to feel normal....I want to be able to keep up with day to day things like normal people do....

I am ready to get help...I called a psychiatrist today and they can't see me for two months.  I am so angry at myself. I just got back in the car...had to unlock my car with my keys, right....haven't been anywhere in the last few minutes except sitting in my car, but guess what...the keys are no where to be found again...look all through the piles of junk in my seat....look through the "crap" in my purse, nope not there either...holy sh*t...they are right here in my lap...just wasted 15 minutes....feel like a complete dumb ass....

most days aren't quite this bad, but everyday is without a few events similar to this. 

I take Lexapro for anxiety and it seems to help, but I think the anxiety stems from always being in a rush, feeling overwhelmed by all the little task that have built up, feeling frustrated and irritable, and worn out by how much energy it takes to do simple day to day things...

I am the best planner in the world for big events....give me a few days and I could plan an entire wedding, put together a conference for 500 guest, etc...but getting my laundry done, my car cleaned out, getting to work on time, paying my bills, keeping up with daily paper work at work......forget it....I will put it off for 3 months and then do it all in a single night....

There has to be a better way to live...my husband doesn't understand me....thinks I just "don't listen to him".  Doesn't understand how I could loose something as important as a checkbook, keys...thinks I just don't care.  I wear him out with all of my projects....traveling....can't understand why I am on the go 24/7.....We have been married two months and I think we desperately need counseling....its so much easier to not to have to tell someone that you lost the checkbook again or forgot where you put your paycheck....ooops better check the trash for it....I threw something away...oh yeah, there it is, right underneath the barb Q ribs from last night....oh and there is my hairbrush, in the refrigerator, I wandered where I put that......I am laughing as I write this, unfortunately I have done everyone of these.....

can any one relate.....I am desperate...I will try about anything...

ME TOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!  I thought for the longest time I was just stupid for losing my keys, checkbook, purse, etc...  I can relate to the grad school comment as well.  I'm in grad school now - in a very competitive program.  When I figured out that I had ADHD I went to a psychiatrist and he had the nerve to say, people with ADHD don't go to grad school, they end up as house painters or maids (not that there is anything wrong with that).  His point was they chose not to go into something academic... That is SOOO not true.  ADHD does not make you incapable of learning or performing well in a subject that you enjoy. 

My focus is school psychology and what I have found is that ADHD tends to work on working memory.  The typical person can store 7 items (7 slots) in their working memory (telephone number, checklist - keys, meds, walk the dog, etc..).  A person with ADHD typically can not store as many things because they are distracted AND/OR have anxiety due to repeated failures (anxiety acts as a distractor - it takes up one or more of those slots).  ADHDers sometimes have difficulty coding new information from working memory to long term memory beause they are distracted (remembering people's names even though I've seen them several times is one for me).  SO - the point, NO you aren't crazy.

I love the bra story by the way.  I was having a day when I actually ironed my clothes, wore something nice only to look down to see I had worn a black bra with a white shirt!!  On top of that I was in a school.  The high school boys loved it - agh!  Not very professional.

Can I suggest the book Adventures in Fast Forward? It was a real eye opener.