stress | ADHD Information

Stress--setting aside time for yourself, taking breaks during the day

       In some stressful situations when its getting the better of you...turn your back on the situation, count slowly to ten and then deal with it...
Thank you, actually now that I've found this place I am feeling better. It's nice to know that there are other people out there having problems too.we have our good times, I try to cherish those times because I can remember the boy he used to be.
   From what his mom tells me, he has a BIG problem listening to women, hence him getting kicked out of prek.So it's not just me that he has a problem with. He will listen to his dad and his stepdad. The reason that his mom has no problem with the meds. is that the daycare has not kicked him out. I am really worried about when he starts school in the fall.

Step parents have no say in the matter. The boy sounds has more than this going on. This childs medical is up to his parents to be taken care of. I am not saying this to be mean. Kids also play both parents a lot our son has done that as well. It's harder cause Se kids have a harder time. New stuff takes a while to see changes. Some meds are only effective 12 hrs as well. I suggest give him vitamins while with you they do help out as well.

I was told by another SE Mom some people are in denial about a child's problem. In my family it's dad here and his Mom. They claim our son is just all boy! RN

I would say that medication is not the correct one for him...now how you convince her of that, is beyond me i wouldn't interfere with the Mom's choice of medication.  the child is very likely to be nasty with you - because you are his step-mother.... children tend not to like step-parents that much!  i certainly didn't.

i don't how wealthy you are - or how old the child is.  but an option is getting a kind of nanny.

when i was eighteen - i was hired to look after two girls aged 11 and 9 who had come to stay with their dad for the holidays.  but the step-mom just couldn't cope because they were total bitches to her (blamed her for breaking up their family and hurting their mother) but with me - they were fine.

and we had great fun.  i had the whole of London to explore with them.  took them to the cinema, the tower of London, ice-skating, to Hampton Palace, did the maze, Madame Tussauds, river cruise down to Greenwich - and loads of sights i had never even bothered to see myself despite being a Londoner!

he was very wealthy the Dad and he gave me 0 each day to spend on them and myself too (i always gave him the change and we hardly spent half of it) for food and transport, taxis, exhibitions, or anything that we did on top of paying me 0 a day.  i LOVED it - money for enjoying yourself!  it was such good fun.  and it was my job - so i had nothing to get in the way - like housekeeping or other chores.  i picked them up at 9am and brought them back at 6!  sometimes we just chilled at the park - or at my flat - or watched tv, a movie --- and other times we really went hell for leather on doing a whole whack load of stuff. 

and they were really easy to get on with --- but SO unbelievably nasty and difficult with their step-mom.  literally the moment they walked in the house they changed into total monsters in front of her!  the only caveat was the one thing you could never do was give them a choice or they would argue between each other!  you literally had to walk in and say "right, we are off to madame tussauds - grab your coats girls!"  --- if you ever said something like "what do you want to do today" --- a huge argument would ensue over whose choice got picked!  but i worked that one out after the second day....

good luck!

chjones38854.6366319444He is 5, I've been with him since he was 2. we were fine before the meds. Now he tells me he loves me and that he wants to be good. he got kicked out of prek brcause of the way he acts.I just need to know how to deal with the stress. I love him very much and know that he is very smart and a good kid, he just needs some help. I am doing all I can do but noone seems to be able to help me with the stress. My stepson is staying with us for a few months and he just stared meds. for adhd. my husband and I don't realy see a change in him except for that the fact that he is having classic side effects from the meds.(crying, moodswings.)We have talked to his mom about this but she says that the meds. are working(she has all the control when it comes to him and meds.)
I am a stay at home mom, so on a daily basis I spend the most time with him. I am getting very stressed and I am looking for some help with the stress. My husband does not understand because he is not with him all day long and plus he will listen to his dad, not me. Does anyone have any advice for me?If stims make a child worse, meaner, more aggressive, chances are it's more than ADHD going on. Even if it is (or if not), if she has soul custory, that means your hub agreed to it, and he can't do anything about it. One day it WILL catch up with her, if he is indeed reacting to the meds. And then she'll have to take a good, hard look at him and his diagnosis and treatment. Until then...good luck.

Can you ask the mother to discuss the way he is reboudning from the meds with his doctor? Tell her you are concerned that if he is on the wrong med for him that it may hurt him more than help. Tell her also that you are concerned about what his not being able to control himself is doing to his self esteem.

As a step mother, you need to present your concerns as something that is not in his best interests. As a natural mother to a child with a step mother, I have to admit that I would seriously wonder whether her complaining about my child's behavior was because of how it bothered her. You need to make her understand she has to address this because its in his best interest, not yours.