conciquences | ADHD Information

  My son is 6 he has been been doing so much stuff lately stealing mostly and hiding it under his pillow like razor blades from my razor he got from the medicine cabnet in my bathroom a lighter that was in a cupboard above the stove anything that he can get his hands on i took his pillow away that didnt work so i took everything out of his room but his matress and blanket yup bed and all but he didnt care i made him throw all his toys in the garbage (wich are at his grammas) he gladly did it. took tv away he said whatever nothing i do phases him the only thing left is to lock all cupbords and doors but its not fair to my 9 year old daughter or myself its like living in a prison

any suggestions would be welcome im ready to try anything

 

 

did you ask him why he was taking this stuff?

My DD put under her pillow averything she care for in that day: comics, candys /need to fight with ants after/, toys, pictures, lighters/ for a month she has opsesion with it/... It doesnt bother me so much I just need to check her pillow every night when shes asleep.

Since Im on board , I learned its better to give her award for good behavior instead conciquences for bad.

Yes, i agree with gonecrazy, i would ask him why he feels the need to take the objects.  Does he just hide them and not play with them?  If he doesn't play with them, you could try placing a special box in his room and tell him to place those items there.    What I am concerned about is what he is stealing--razor blades and a lighter???  And he's six?  He can do a lot of danger to himself with these things.  Is he violent or destructive?

   We dont ask why we ask how come asking why is asking for a longer thought process out of him. he takes then its i dont know we always try and reward his good behavour. he has always needed 100% attention and crys at the drop of a hat or goes in to temper tantrums if he dosen't get his way but the liter he did say he saw a kid using one so he was teaching himself when i explained what could happen to him and us in the house he said he didnt care.

Example; hockey game was on last night he sat quietly in his room before dinner of course there is nothing in it so he just sat there so i gave him his bed back(it was more for me i hated seeing him sleep on the floor) then he was quiet through dinnerwich is a rarity as he is a nonstop motermouth and then say quietly again till the game so he got to watch the game and have a small bowl of chips well after almost the whole game he decided to play with his sisters stuff went up to her and broke her laptop comp. right infront of her i understand he could have been board and needed stimulation but we were chatting all through the game he was sitting on my lap and was not bouncing off wallas like he ususally does after 10 min of anything he does.

You're making your six-year-old child sleep on the floor as punishment for bad behavior?The thing I have noticed kids careless of the consequences alot. A hard headed person is hard to get thru to also. Kids see life as a game. When the game is over the fun is over. Some will only learn the hard. The people in this home are this way. Here 7th grade and up have Sat. school and doing cleaning. I would need a Military husband in my home. RN oldtimer38863.4423263889Lillian, my thought exactly!  I'm all for taking away things my son like's to play with, but i think taking away his bed is too extreme.  If he doesn't care about the things you take away from him, then it's obvious this strategy is not working.

bump

 

I think the punishment is very severe for a 6 year old !! 

I dont leave anything lying around i put my lighters well away and the same with my husband razors.

[QUOTE=lillian]What I am concerned about is what he is stealing--razor blades and a lighter???  And he's six?  He can do a lot of danger to himself with these things.  Is he violent or destructive?[/QUOTE]

 

 

I agree with lillian I would seek out  a psychologist or psychiatrist for help and they can recomend a behavior plan for you.

Gonecrazy do not buy a new one this weekend Natural consequence you broke your bed you sleep on the floor.

i thought that the punishment was harsh as well thats why the next night i gave him his bed back but today he jumped on it and BROKE it so now he is on his matress on the floor till we can buy him a new one this weekend. sigh it feel like its never ending, he has an appoint men with a new nero Dr. on the 12 of June mabe she can give new ideas

 

my son slept on the floor last night in his sleeping bag...it was a Treat ( go figure).  Anyways he woke of rested and chipper...it is not a harsh punishment maybe for a 40 year old but not a kidOur kids will climb until they find anything. Floor sleeping is camping to them. I have tried it all as far as discipline goes.  Spanking or a physical exercise works best for them.

my son is 4 with ADHD and very heastrong,likes to have control over everything

I don't know about other ADHD children but mine would not sit throught a match ,talking through it or not.our son also break his sister'sthings,usually after we told him off or we told him no, we put a lock on her outside door when she is not in it,it is locked.

he doesn't have any sense of danger to himself or others so we have to watch him 24/7,we can't leave him 5 mns.

he has a lot of energy and climbs everywhere so we bought him a climbing frame,a trampoline,a bike,a gokart and roller blades and he plays outside a lot.we take him to parks,beach,zoos,bowling,amusement fair ect..

we always try to keep him occupied,it is very tiring and we have respite,a volunteer takes him all day on thursdays.when my husband is away we can't do as much but he loves his climbing frame and him and his 10 year old sister play really nicely together on it.

i do let him play with a computer but only educational games,he loves it.

i know it is very frustrating ,my son keeps trying to jump out of second floor windows and you feel like he should know better and fed up to repeat yourself days after days.somebody once tell me that an ADHD child sees life like in a kaleidocope all the time.

we saw an improvement since we started play therapy,behavioral therapy and parenting classes.we also are trying homeopathy.he is not on meds but it could be a possibily in the future if nothingelse works.

 

scotmama38864.9949421296

I agree with some of the comments being made. If taking things away from him is not working, why continue? You need a new strategy which is why you've asked (I'm assuming). Also, don't look at using the locks as living in prison. Safety comes first and if you have to resort to using locks, by all means, do so. Since you've gutted out his room, you might want to gut out the rest of the house and look for potential hazards. Maybe you can buy a cabinet specifically for these items. Remember, behind a behaviour is a message. Try and figure out what that message is instead of focussing on the consequences. You want to nip the problems in the butt before they start and not after.

I'm curious why he was so quiet that night he got to watch the game? If he was being out of character then something is up. Also, if he saw a child playing with a lighter, who's this child and how did HE get a hold of a lighter? Maybe there's more to this story .. just throwing it out there.

As for the broken bed, it was probably his way of dealing with the consequence you gave him - taking his bed away. It's not ok to destroy property so I'd have to agree with Jillette on this one. Put this one of the back burner for the moment being.

Try writing a daily analog and see if you can pin point the triggers to his behaviours. Maybe you'll find a pattern. Maybe he has special needs that hasn't been taken into consideration yet.

Just some thoughts.

And about his breaking the laptop...If my room had been stripped, my toys had been thrown away, and I was sleeping on the floor, while my sister sat next to me and played with her laptop, I'd probably grab it from her, throw it on the ground, and break it, too.  Just a thought. 

I completely disagree with making a six-year-old child sleep on the floor for punishment--I don't care what the child did.  If he's breaking his bed by jumping on it, then a mattress on the floor is a good option because he can't break it.  However, kids jump on beds and break them.  It happens all the time, whether the kid has ADHD, something else, or nothing at all.   I am very concerned about this child's behavior, though.  To be honest, he sounds extremely angry, and I think that making him sleep on the floor is only going to fuel that anger, which may have been why he broke the bed, as soon as it was put back in his room.  I also think that throwing away his toys is extreme.  Taking them away and letting him earn them back with good behavior can be very effective, but throwing them away?  And throwing them away for taking razor blades and lighters?  It sounds to me like a really hostile, angry circle is being created here.  The parents get angry and they react, the child gets angry over the parents' reactions and the child reacts, then the parents get angry about how the child reacts to their anger, on and on and on.  It's never ending and no one wins.