Check for capd. Spanking should only be done as last rezort. No child learns problem solving skills from that. Teach them what you expect.
Making them repeat it works for us most of the time. When I tell ds to poick up toys, I ask him " And what are you going to do now?" If he gets sidetracked in his task I'll ask him "What were you going to do?" This does seam to work most times.
Binformed, spanking does nothing for those kids, it only makes the situation worse. A little clap to get the attention, yes. But spanking, just makes them more aggressive, the opposite of what we're trying to accomplish.
Yeah I know spanking doesn't work. Even if I have her repeat what I say she forgets within just a few mins. I am gonna have her checked for ODD, it's something i knew nothing about till a few days ago but it fits my gaughter to a T. Thanks for the help Thank You Everyone for the ideas please keep talking to me because i am starting to get the pic that there is more out there than just ADHD I am gonna talk to Angie's oc about ODD and get her to the in house phyc as soon as i can. I have tried to get her to repeat what I say, and while most of the time she can when i ask her a few minutes later she has no idea what i am talking about. Spanking does not work with her, never has, so i have given up on that one. Same thing with taking all her toys, just doesn't affect her. I did stumble on one that works, I was talking with my husband and with her father about her going to live there for the summer, she totally freaked out, she wants to stay with mom. I am hoping that it will help to make sure she knows i have the option to have her go live with dad for 2 months. I know this sounds mean and horrible but I am to the point of a mental breakdown from her. Thanks again and hope to hear from all soon. OliveWe are getting my stepson tested for someother disorders other than the adhd. His doctors have told us that the meds. for adhd usually only help the hyperactivity, not anyother problems that were there all along. Other testing my need to be done to check for some other disorders. I know that it is stressfull, I am going through alot of the same stuff right now. You are doing a great thing for her by reaching out for help. She is lucky to have you.[QUOTE=Angie'sMom]I have a 7yr old daughter who refuses to listen. She is on concerta and it seems to help some days but not others. She is mean to her little brother, things like unbuckling his car seat while i am driving and pushing it over or pushing him into walls or furniture then laughing when he cries. I have tried to take he to a counciler but she won't talk to one. She never seems to stop talking or moving. If I try to ignore the fits she will hit and yell at me. I fell like i have tried everything, taken ALL toys and TV away, tried possitive reinforcement. my husband and i try to spend individual time with her each week (i Work evening so i am not home from the time she gets out of school till she is in bed oe suppost to be) it seems the nicer we try to be the meaner she gets. She is failing school because she won't listen to the teacher or do her work. She is constantly telling us NO. I'm to the point that i don't know what to do. She knows when she is doing wrong, she just doesn't care. What am I suppost to do? [/QUOTE]
Try consistent spankings, it WILL NOT hurt her, and she WILL LEARN WITH TIME.
Could this be capd also our son has it. I have to have him look you in the eyes. This allow us to help improve his eye contact also. Does work. He is responding better since Tomais listening.when my son didn't listen (he was five at the time), his psy told me to use the 5 finger rule. put your thumb on your chin and your pinkie on her chin (all five fingers spread out as wide as you can. then she will stop and listen. Keep it short. she will only hear about 10 to 15 seconds, but if you say, stop yelling, or sit down or be quiet, you will get a better response. She will listen. (hopefully, it did work for us though)
I have a 7yr old daughter who refuses to listen. She is on concerta and it seems to help some days but not others. She is mean to her little brother, things like unbuckling his car seat while i am driving and pushing it over or pushing him into walls or furniture then laughing when he cries. I have tried to take he to a counciler but she won't talk to one. She never seems to stop talking or moving. If I try to ignore the fits she will hit and yell at me. I fell like i have tried everything, taken ALL toys and TV away, tried possitive reinforcement. my husband and i try to spend individual time with her each week (i Work evening so i am not home from the time she gets out of school till she is in bed oe suppost to be) it seems the nicer we try to be the meaner she gets. She is failing school because she won't listen to the teacher or do her work. She is constantly telling us NO. I'm to the point that i don't know what to do. She knows when she is doing wrong, she just doesn't care. What am I suppost to do? While ADHD may be there, it doesn't usually stand by itself. I'd get her to a Psychitrist (with the MD) to sort out the other stuff. I know ADHD kids who hang with my daughter (three of them) and they are hyper and can be chatty and annoying, but they aren't in that realm of behavior problem. You're describing ODD behavior, which also doesn't stand alone and is usually a symptom of a larger disorder. Good luck :)I guess I am luckey for I only have one child. I do feel your pain my daughter is on Concerta as well and I am not totally thrilled with it. It is hard I too have seen some evenings she can be such a bear and out of control. I try the behavior plan our psychologist gave me and it is still hard and some nights i loose my cool and do a mommy time out where I leave the room and let her be until i am calm enough to handle her. My daughter has ODD is it possible yours may have the same, it is in the conduct disorder family. My daugher will try and tell me like it is and argue back, etc. What is hard is determining what it is, is it ODD symptoms or ADHD? If you have a psychologist go to him/her for help as well. By the way the listening part what I do is make her look me in the eyes and repeat back what I have said and when she is defiant she will look away and fight me but I still try, listening is classic. Good luck Jill Jillette38864.290787037Hi you daughter sounds alot like my son, he has a younger sister also and he used to do mean stuff to her also.
Have you seen a doctor about her i am thinking that she is adhd and maybe have some conduct disorders in there as well
My son has some of the same issues your daughter has and is the same age. He's on Concerta now and we're waiting to see a Psychiatrist to test for other issues. I'm pretty sure that he has some anxiety issues (I think this is genetic, DH has Generalized Anxiety Disorder). He refuses to do work at school also. I really only notice his "mean" behavior either before meds kick in or after they wear off. He does some really wierd things sometimes. We found one of his favorite DVD's in his room all scratched. He obviously scratched it on purpose because the label side and the mirror side is scratched in patches like you would scratch a scratch-off lottery ticket.
I've been doing my homework of IEP's and 504's in the school system and plan on going into the next school year engines roaring "Ladies, start your engines"
I started telling DS to "look at me" from the time he was 3 or 4. I noticed early on that most of the time he wasn't paying attention. The last few years I've also added (like some have said), "what did I just say?" It's funny, most of the time when I ask him that he REALLY doesn't know. Since I started asking him that I now realize that he doesn't hear most of what we tell him. After I ask him that and he can't tell me I repeat it and make him repeat it also. It's been amazing to me the amount of times that he really can't tell me what I've just said to him.
Sorry, Binformed, you're just not that "informed". While the idea of just spank "and she WILL LEARN WITH TIME" just doesn't work for these kids. Tried it, been there, done that, no response.
Defiant behavior is really draining to deal with. I feel for you.
It really isn't as easy as 'just spank your kid and they'll suddenly behave". It's not as simple as that. If a child has a legitimate issue (ADHD, ODD, bipolar, Autism, etc) it wouldn't be very helpful to spank them.
Have you talked to her doctor about trying a different med or upping her med ?
Hugs to you.