Personal Question | ADHD Information

I am on zolof to help me cope with my 8 year old son who had adhd. If i didn't i would be in the looney bin by now.It helps. We also seen a theripist for awhile. Until she left and was done with her schooling. Who ever has not dealt with a child that has adhd consider them lucky. It breaks my heart when his friends want nothing to do with him when he is hyper. Their kids. They don't understand. What am i saying. Sometimes adults don't understand. Expecially my partner who i have a daycare with. She has no patience as it is. Nerak

You are right, unless you have delt with a child with adhd you have no idea what we as parents, stepparents,and or caregivers are going through. People have told me,OH,he is just being a little boy, or let the boy be young for as long as possible- the world is growing up too fast these days. But this effects every aspect of the childs life and of the families life. That is why we are going to be getting into family theryipy. I think it will help us to understand what he is going through and help us learn new technics in dealing with him and also give him some help learning to live life with adhd.

Ya, good question.  Our family has been urged by the school counselor to pursue family counseling.  My 7.5 year old son has ADHD/ODD and alot of sensory integration stuff.  He has a twin brother who has none of these issues.

His poor brother has taken a back seat to him his whole life.  We are always busy dealing with Erik's behaviors poor Andrew feels slighted.  Our relationship has fallen apart and we need couples counseling.  My own anxiety problems have returned and I'm on lexapro (which is helpful for me)

Having children like this is such a blessing, but MAN is it work.  All the arguing and Dr appt's, the school calling 3 times a week blah blah blah.

Actually we are all doing pretty well now-Erik is the only one in therapy but we have family meetings and try to all express our feelings to each other there in a safe environment.

whatever works!

i think we have all been down this road,depressed,rundown list goes on. yes i have had antidepressants,i thought i was the only one who was suffering in the family me me me,but when we went on a course for adhd all together as a family i found out we all were depressed in our own way, but they taught us a lot on controling our emotions and considering what other members in the family were going through, i havnt touched med since then im a lot calmer we all are,i just wish that we could of gone on something like this yrs ago,it would of saved a lot of anger and frustration and made life a bit more special for all of us,now we do take it one day at a time and laught where we would of cryed before

take care

Mere, thanks for the hugs, I needed them.  Dh is getting better but there are times when I think we're not only not reading the same book, we're not even in the same library! A few years back we went to family therapy, me - my husband - and my adhd son.  My son also saw his own therapist.  But they both left the clinic where I was taking him, and I didn't find someone new.  It helped some, especially the family therapy.  We could say stuff to the therapist that we didn't want to say at home.  But things are okay now, and we learned some skills and techniques which help day to day life.  Still a few issues - but feel we are on the right track and we are doing it on our own.

Hi everyone  

Yes I am on Zoloft 50 mg a day. It has really helped me cope with my son. If not for this I would probably have cracked up. For me it was the best choice. I have a 4 year old son with ADHD who I am raising alone. This is a very hard & tiring thing to deal with. The hardest thing I ever had to deal with. I just want my son to be happy. Right now we haven't been able to find a medication that works. He is on 5 mg of Ritalin a day. This doesn't last long enough it wears off in about a hour. We tried a higher dosage but it made him sick. I always thought that this was normal behavior as well, until he started daycare &  was having a hard time dealing with all the children.   He comes home somtimes & says that nobody likes him & it breaks my heart. I just want my son to be a happy boy.

I just recently started going to therapy to get suggestions on how to handle my son.  My son is very defient.  I give an expample of what happened and what I did and she suggests something that might have been better to do.  I don't take meds but I have been thinking about it. No therapy for me, just my son, and i don't take any anti- depression medicine either. I just learn to deal what is dealt my way. Have a good day!I occasionally see a counselor, but not for parenting issues.  I have ADD myself, and she helps me with coping skills.  This, I believe, has helped me with my parenting skills also.  I take Welbutrin for my anxiety.  I am not sure how much the anxiety has to do with my kids issues, and how much it is just me.  The Welbutrin does seem to help!

  I was wondering how many parents raising kid(s) with ADD/ADHD,ODD/bipolar/Autism, etc...routinely see a therapist themselves to help them cope with the challenges they face daily, and how many parents are on anti-depressants to help them cope ?

 

  I completely understand no one answering this question. I realize this is a very personal question.

 

  Thanks in advance, to anyone that does feel comfotable enough to share their stories.

 

Mere38869.5661342593

Me.

But not b/c of the kids.

B/c my life was not in sync with those around me.

I see my head doc once per month, but mostly for the Class 2 presciption.

Welcome to the board! 

We started seeing a counselor, my son and I together because there was a lot of tension around.  (After 2 back to back long-term assigments discoverd days before due had driven me to some wine hidden way back in the cupboard) We had to stop due to time constraints, but things got better, because I changed me.  I also started taking the high EPA omegas, which have helped my mood tons, which helps me to better cope.  Now I say, ahhhh, who gives a rip!  And then we just do what we have to do. 

I was on anti-depressants before (Celexa) but that was hell after months of my doc saying, keep it up the med-hell will go away; I finally left 'em in the toilet.  I wanted my own hell back, not the one's the meds gave me.    The omegas are helping me cope much better than anything else I've done.

Ummm, how are YOU coping?  

 

I don't go and see anyone but when my son is at school i put my daughter in care sometimes and spend some quiet therpy by myself or i got out and get my hair or nails done, i think this works well and i think my son may be a little to young for a counceller, but maybe soon i will take him and myself

  Luckily for me, the kids are in school during the day, so I only have to cope at night and on the weekends. Weekends are okay, because my husband is home and I step back and let him parent his kids. That helps alot. Disengaging is a wonderful word. LOL

 In the Summer, I enroll the kids in camps/programs, etc... so the kids will have fun and I'll get breaks.

  I also see my own counselor to vent and get support and that helps, somewhat.

  Reading here helps me feel less alone. I realize other people are going through the same issues, and surviving.

 I try to exercise to relieve my stress. Yoga is helpful. But sometimes I find it difficult to muster up the energy to exercise.

 

  I overeat to comfort myself, which is non-productive. I'm trying to break myself of doing that habit.

   I also escape (like Eliza mentioned) at night to the book store, get my nails done, etc. and ocassionally DH will treat me to a full body massage at a local spa.

 

  Sometimes I daydream....I'm on the beach....warm sand beneath my toes, waves crashing against the shore... it sounds nutty I'm sure, but it helps.

 

  I haven't tried taking Omega's (yet) but I'm open to it. I'm trying to avoid going on anti-depressants. I'd prefer to find other ways to cope.

 

 

 

 

Mere38869.7572222222

Our life was a mess before ADHD medicine.  Because I didn't have any friends that had children, I thought that was the way it was supposed to be.  Low and behold, when they started school, I realized something was wrong.  I met other mothers who's children were on the honor roll, could sit in their seats, sat through dinner, played well together, handled homework well, etc.

I was losing weight, not eating, not sleeping very well, smoking like a chimney, and screaming constantly for them to "STOP!".  My children were obvious different from theirs! 

We all go to counciling together.  Myself, my two boys with ADHD (one with Tourettes Syndrome, as well) and our baby (2 1/2 years).  My doctor tried me on Lexapro for depression.  I hated it!  He wanted to try me another anti-depressant, but I refused.  Finally settled for Klonopin (Clonazepam) 0.5 mg.  This way, I only take one when I need one.  Since the boys have been on Ritalin, I've hardly touched the pills.  Counseling is great for all of us.  My ex-husband sees them on the weekends and they tell him about their counseling visits. 

So, yes, counseling is great and if you need medicine for yourself, that's O.K., too - if it helps the family as well as you.

I have thought about going to counseling, but when I found the message board and found others who could understand what I was going through I felt a little better. Although we may do some family counseling to help us all deal with all the changes and to help my ss get through the rough times. From what I have found alot of parents and or families are in counseling and it has helped. But a little alone time does help ALOT. I'm not going to counselling, I don't have time and I not the one who really needs it.  It seems to me that my dh could use some heavy duty counselling, (he has issues with work, self-esteem, his critical mother, etc) but he won't go.  Of course, he probably thinks that he's ok, it's me that could use the therapy.  My friend Trenia thinks that I take too much of a load on myself.  I just handle what I'm dealt as best I can.  Sometimes I cry or yell because I get so upset, this shakes dh up to the extent that he's a little more understanding for a while and then it goes back to being the same old, same old.  I guess it's pretty dysfunctional.  Ds's homework/schoolwork just adds to the frustration.  I get so tired sometimes. susieb38870.4802662037

wow.... that was a great question... at lease i think so... my son's therapist keeps pushing me to go to see a therapist myself... so that i can learn to deal with my own problems and learn to cope with my son disorder (bipolar).. she feels that i focus way to much on his disorder and tend to forget about my own problems...

I need help and do not have the time or money for me it is sad i am stressed to them max.  I have my daughter moderate to severe ADHD and ODD, then my husband not diagnosed officially who leaves me to handle everything.  I get no help around the house or with the child most days and am tired of "I will get to that" and nothing or "I will call to set up an appointment soon".  mmm.  Everyday is a struggle, then add I am diabetic and have bad Asthma and get yelled at by doctors for not taking care of me,  NO TIME.

Then add work I am a social worker/case manager and have to handle other peoples problems and most of my caseload is very needy call constantly.  I am stressed there too.

As for counseling for me mmm NO TIME and no money between medical co-pays and bills, and everytime I see a specialist it is , my childs psychologist costs us .50 co-pay and she comes first.

  Barbara, My friends avoid me for the most part, because it's too stressful for them to be around me if the stepboys (both ADHD/ADD) are present. It hurts my feelings. I understand how frustrating it is to keep dealing with conversations getting interrupted. Even if I try to distract the boys into doing something else so I can get some adult-time they navigate back to whatever room I'm in.

 

  Cheb, glad to hear things are fine and you guys are doing well on your own. I hope things will get to that point eventually with my situation as well.

 Missya, It must be really difficult to be going it solo. I commend you on being a single parent. It's obvious you love your son alot. Hang in there !

 

  Susie, it's challenging when the DH's aren't on the same page. There have been times when my DH & I aren't even reading the same book. The teacher's complaining to DH has ben helping him accept things more & more. I understand your frustration and how exhausting it is to deal with this stuff. Hugs to you.

 

  Sheri, Thank you. I find having my own therapist helpful. It's easy to get overwhelmed and focus on the child(ren) and forgot about taking care of ourselves. Love your avatar. Very cute !

 

  Jillette, Being a Social worker has to be one of the most stressful jobs there are ! Hats off to you. I'm sure you're making a difference in alot of people's lives. It's hard when our partners aren't supportive or helpful. I hope you can make time to take care of yourself. I know it's hard, especially if you work outside of the home. Hugs to you as well.