My ADHD Mouth | ADHD Information

To Iommis mom:

I too have acquired several animals (actually more than several) on impulse and via synchronicity. Several rescued stray cats and dogs.

My Daphne ( whose birthday is today) was an impulse buy from a pet shop. She looked so lonely after her brothers and sisters were adopted.

I don't regret any of them but they did change my life and have taxed me financially.

I think that many ADDers find comfort in animals because they don't judge and they accept you for what you are. They are always in for an impulsive walk.

Thanks everyone for the input. I, too, like busterangel said, am too honest. I do not mean to hurt or annoy people but somehow it happens from time to time. I mentioned a mistake that my supervisor made in his speech at the eighth grade graduation. Did not mean anything by the comment; but then he was frustrated with himself for making the mistake and told me "thanks for pointing that out to me".

I think this will be the topic of my counseling tomorrow.

My mouth has gotten me in trouble more times than I care to recall. Many
of the stories here sound familiar to me.

Most recently, my mouth and I got in trouble with one day left before
graduation, and now I've got to take the entire last semester over again.

I've found many things I can learn from the situation, and I'm glad it
happened before I graduated, got a job, and made the mistake as a
supposed professional, not just a student. That could have been the
undoing of a career I've been pursuing for 3 years. I'll deal with this like
I've dealt with everything else. But this time I come away with more.

As a result of this incident, I have finally found some reserve. I no longer
feel the need to share my life's story with anyone who makes the mistake
of acting interested. I dont feel compelled to win people over, get them to
like me. I've come to some realizations about myself that I really needed
to grasp. I keep to myself more. I've told the "lite" version of my story to
those that have inquired about whether I graduated yet. I'm not going to
share it here either. Suffice it say: lesson learned, finally. Only took 41
years.

SR

I have some blurtable moments, but not too many. Medication helps. Then, I also have all of my interactions divided into categories. Each one has sort of a persona that goes with it, I act the part. Somehow it keeps the impulsive part of me from jumping out.

1) Professional conversation w/supervisors: I am here to listen and will only comment if directly asked. This character is very uptight, polite and proper. Smiles at jokes, but has very little humor and a whole lot of manners.

2) Professional conversations (on the phone with the public): I am in control of this conversation. I will remain focused on the information I need and move on as quickly and politely possible. This character is very robotic, only the goal exists. Absolutely no humor.

3) Coworkers and people I don't know: Smile and listen. This character is friendly in a quiet way. She might add on to someone else's joke or comments, but stays on the fringes of the conversation.

4) Friends and family: They know me and are not easily offended. If I say something wrong, they usually give as good as they get. This is the real me, humor, honesty and lack of tact. Only my friends and family see me with my guard down.

My best friend has told me for years I have no filter mode. I was just recently diagnosed with ADHD but it all makes sense now. I always thought to myself, "Hey at least I am HONEST!!" [QUOTE=LilBoPeeo]

The list is endless. I've been compared to a "bull in a China shop." Meds help a little, but often not in time. The biggest difference is that for the most part now I'm aware of what I say, even if it is after the fact.

[/QUOTE]

I am right there too! It can be so hard when others do not understand. I made a comment in a joking manner to a coworker about her breastfeeding and she got angry with me. It is like from the time the comment comes up in my mind to the time it comes out of my mouth is 0-60 mph in 3 seconds!

I am on meds but they help to a certain point. I have another different type of impulsiveness. LiloBoPeeo, you have four kids and I have 5 animals (and a 19 year old son). Each animal was an impulse. Especailly the 2nd dog. I was out shopping for a turtle for my classroom. I came home with a turtle and a 7 month old puppy. A humane society visits one of the local pet stores on t he weekends and that is where I have gotten 3 out of the 5. I cannot go there on weekends!

Thanks for sharing everyone. It is comforting to know that I am not alone!

I can't tell you how many times I have blurted out something that I regreted later. I do it in anger in the heat of the moment, out of frustration and sometimes when I think I am making a joke.

My parents were right. My mouth has gotten me into more trouble than I can count.

This has affected my personal relationships. Sometimes I hurt people when I don't mean to. Sometimes I am just "too" honest.

I have also had trouble in the work place, saying something that I shouldn't. Usually too much information. I have also been taken aside and been told to be more careful.

Over ten years ago, in a job eval. My supervisor said that I had a tendency to ramble on when asked a question or act uncertain of myself. I didn't quite understand at that time what she meant. I know i am insecure but I didn't think that I communicated uncertainty. I have learned to control this a little bit. I try not to just let all the thoughts that I am thinking come out. If I don't have a clear concise answer for someone, I say "Let me get back to you on that one"

I am not on medication so I can't use the excuse that I forgot my meds. But I do understand that non-adders simply do not understand how hard it is to censure ourselves. It's not that we are stupid or immature but it is poor impulse control.

Frankly, I have turned into quite the curmudgeon. If someone is rude to me, or invades my space, I let them know. I guess I spent most of my youth trying to be Ms. Nice Guy that now I don't care what other people think. It is rather liberating at times. I don't waste my time worrying about whether people likeme or not. Maybe I am a crank but we all have the right to express ourselves.

Don't know if you are on meds or not, but I had the same problem. My boss said the same thing about my ADHD mouth. It is much better on meds but still have that problem on occasion. Just not as often but sometimes just as bad. The meds help me but can't do everything. I have another apt with Tdoc either this Fri or next Fri. I'll ask her. Put it in my notes now. Don't know if you are on meds or not, but I had the same problem. My boss said the same thing about my ADHD mouth. It is much better on meds but still have that problem on occasion. Just not as often but sometimes just as bad. The meds help me but can't do everything. I have another apt with Tdoc either this Fri or next Fri. I'll ask her. Put it in my notes now.

omg...this is my problem and my dds too. impulsivness:

think before do

talk before think

I have learned to keep my mouth shut for the most part now, but when dd is off meds she is so impulsive that it scares me.

Here's a few examples from my recent experiences to add to the mix.

I was at a block party last weekend. I have two-year-old twin boys and I spent most of the party following them around as my wife was out of town. At one point, when things were particulary hectic, I spied one of my neighbors who has an only daughter (I have 4 kids. I know, impulsive behavior!). Now, I know that it is a sensitive topic between he and his wife as to why they only had one (because he can't handle any more). But I blurt out "Hey Mike, this could've been you!" Yikes!

Another one: my wife and I were at a little league game. Once again, the twins were out and marching around and one of the Moms comments "I don't think I've ever seen them walking before." This is becasue usually it is my wife who takes them and I'm not there, so she leaves them in the stroller. I know this, but instead I tell the comment to my wife. She bursts out "Are you trying to make me upset? Why don't you say something to make me happy instead?" Whoops.

Hello everyone-

Now that school is over for the summer, I have time to read and participate again!

I am looking for advice/sharing about the ADHD mouth. You all know of what I am talking about! The mouth that gets us in trouble because we are impulsive and talk without thinking! We blurt things out and then the words are hanging there and we are thinking "geez, I did it again".

I am frustrated with mine right now. I got my performance evaluation today at work and yet again my area of growth for next school year is to work on thinking about what I say before I say it. I don't have that "filter" (as my boss called it) as some people do. Or I should say, my filter works when it wants to. "Hmmm..should I say this, no." A lot of times, that filter is turned off and there I go.

The eval is stinging a bit right now because I really tried harder this school year; and yet this keeps coming up every year on my eval in one form or another. Also, I get frustrated with people I work with that don't really understand what it is like. I will joke and say, "I forgot to take my meds today." And I have a couple people that tell me that is no excuse. People who do not live with ADD/HD or have it themselves do not always understand what it is like to have your brain running at a pace that you can't always keep up with!

Any thoughts, advice, sharing your own stories are welcome! Thanks for listening.

Welcome! I hope they work for you. I have one more to share that I learned today from my new therapist...

"Mr. Spock writes your emails at work."

Heh, Reisa, quit sassing the boss you idiot...

I just screwed up a couple of weeks ago at my school job. I let an annoyance get me to the point of expressing it and really angered one of the aids in the cafeteria I work in. It was over something as silly as the kids taking too much ketcup for their lunch. They are only suppose to get two but take much more and that day after lunch was just about done we had to keep going back into the refridgerator for more. I got annoyed and expressed it and the aid said "I pay for this G-d*** ketchup with my taxes. D***** if I'm going to have someone tell me what I can give the kids and what I can't. She didn't say it directly to me but I heard about it and felt like I should have just kept my mouth shut. I'm really working hard on being impulsive and I just plain lost it that day. Oh well, another lesson learned.
As for pets, Oh heavens, can't even keep up with the house and both my daughter and I being ADD. My luck, I'd get a pet with ADD too

. Oh well, can't beat myself up evey time I slip or I'll never get anywhere, just have to keep going and trying to do better the next situation. [QUOTE=busterangel]

I think that many ADDers find comfort in animals because they don't judge and they accept you for what you are. They are always in for an impulsive walk.

[/QUOTE]

I so agree with you busterangel. My animals do not judge me or get upset. No matter what kind of day I have had, I know I can come home and feel loved. The two dogs start barking immediately as soon as I pull in the driveway. The older dog, who is not caged, jumps up and down at the door. That is a comical sight because he is a german shepherd mix. It is nice to come home and just be myself.

Thanks for the input busterangel!

Boy can I ever relate. When I was a kid, my mom used to call me motor mouth. We had never heard of ADD/ADHD so she didn't understand my disorder. My "motormouth" really causes problems too, especially in my marriage, cause I either blurt out things I shouldn't, or I just plain talk too much. It drives me crazy. [QUOTE=iommis mom] [QUOTE=busterangel]

I think that many ADDers find comfort in animals because they don't judge and they accept you for what you are. They are always in for an impulsive walk.

[/QUOTE]

<FONT face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" color=#0000cc size=2>I so agree with you busterangel. My animals do not judge me or get upset. No matter what kind of day I have had, I know I can come home and feel loved. The two dogs start barking immediately as soon as I pull in the driveway. The older dog, who is not caged, jumps up and down at the door. That is a comical sight because he is a german shepherd mix. It is nice to come home and just be myself.

Thanks for the input busterangel!

[/QUOTE]

I thought I wrote the book on impulsive animal collecting.

when my Beta fish died, I went to the pet store to buy another. I came home with 2 guinea pigs, cage and set up for about 0. Later I went back for the Beta. To date my pets are 2 horses, a pony, 3 donkeys, 7 dogs, 2 cats, 2 guinea pigs, 2 diamondbacked doves, 7 finches, and a beta. Good thing I live on a farm! I agree with both of yall. Unconditional acceptance and love. For me they are often my only companions as well.

Being blurtatious is a big symptom of ADHD. I don't think there is many of us with ADHD who can keep it under wraps all the time. We never will be the one who neighbors say "oh they never said much - very quiet" when we go.

My parents got me a bumper sticker at age 9 that said "be sure brain is in gear before engaging mouth". I still keep that in my mind to this day 30 years later.

My meds keep it better in control but it's always going to be me struggling against my true nature.

Take at work a couple months ago. I was training a new young employee. He was green and inexperienced and I was trying to get him to learn to listen to the better workers and ignore the ones that could cause him trouble. So I got cocky and said "look over there - those 2 people are ones I would stay away from. I call them "dumb and dumber"". He then said "watch it - they are good friends of mine". Oops. He told them what I said and they in turn lodged a complaint with management. Luckily management knows they are unreliable and trouble but still they asked me to be more careful.

We all goof up. The trick is to try and modify how we talk - to be able to wait a second and look at what we plan to say before we say it. This is tough most of the time - it seems to remove the spontaneity from conversation but it's a must unless you absolutely trust and know intimately who you are talking to.

This is one place where we can say it (most times) with understanding that others will know where we are coming from.

Skylark, how do you stop yourself before you tell your life story? What do you do as a reminder or a filter?

I am constantly working on sitting down and shutting up, and not inviting myself to my coworkers' conversations. Too many times I'm unsuccessful.

It's hard FlyerGirl - especially if unmedicated and uneducated on the tools that are available to you. Are you in therapy?

My meds give my mind a chance to hit the brakes on my mouth. With practice most times I can halt any outbursts and decide carefully what I want to say is either appropriate or not. Not always - I had a bad one happen at work that reminded me that I'm better not perfect.

FlyerGirl,

It doesnt take much to stop me now... I guess I finally learned my lesson
because the outcome was bad enough.

Don't touch that, it's hot. Lemme touch it. Ow, it's hot.
Don't touch that, it's hot. Lemme touch it. Ow, it's hot.
Don't touch that, it's hot. Lemme touch it. Ow, it's hot.
Don't touch that, it's hot. Lemme touch it. Ow, it's hot.
Don't touch that, it's hot. Lemme touch it. OUCH! I've been BURNED.
I'll never touch it again.

Kinda like that. Sometimes I don't learn my lesson right away.
Comes from a combination of not being in the moment whilst the lesson
is taking place, and from a lack of impulse control that makes me do
something before I give thought to the action and remember the previous
outcomes.

Meds help, cognitive behavior modification too.
SR

LOL skylark - sounds like I was/am!

Post-meds is not so bad but I am finding a stubborn streak on one particular thing - the light in the middle of my dining room. I'm 6 foot 2 and this lamp hangs to about 5 foot 10. I have whacked my head now I believe about 20 thousand times since I moved in February.

I even moved my table to directly below it. I don't entertain so I just do little computer hobby things on it. Just today MINUTES after putting the table dead-center of the lamps' area I whacked it as I put down some stuff and raised my head. Why!?!?

Clumsy is as clumsy does I guess.

[QUOTE=Reisa]

Then, I also have all of my interactions divided into categories. Each one has sort of a persona that goes with it, I act the part.

1) Professional conversation w/supervisors: I am here to listen and will only comment if directly asked. a whole lot of manners.

2) Professional conversations (on the phone with the public): I am in control of this conversation.

3) Coworkers and people I don't know: Smile and listen.

4) Friends and family: family see me with my guard down.

[/QUOTE]

Reisa : Thank you for sharing these Tips ! WoW, very helpful ~ Hopefully I can decrease my ''Open Mouth, Insert Foot'' Disorder. {OMIFD}

Hi all-Thanks for sharing. It always helps to hear that others have the same issues. People on the "inside" really know and understand what it is like to live with ADD/HD.

One of the best books I ever read in my research was You mean I'm not lazy, stupid, or crazy?! : a self-help book for adults with attention deficit disorder. It gave the best description of what it is like in our heads that I have come across so far. It said that having ADD/HD is like living with all the radio stations going on in your head at the same time. That is truly what it is like. At least with the medication now I am only down to a few!

In the book, it gave the suggestion of having some type of visual to help our "filters"..to remind them to work. I think that is what I am going to have to come up with for this next school year!!