My 3yr old has ADHD-I’m new & need help | ADHD Information
i agree with hawks
we bought my son a trampoline,a climbing frame,a go kart and a giant slide.my garden is gone but a least he can spend his energy
i am always tired but i prefer him staying off meds for now until next year at least,when he starts school then he will need it to concentrate
[QUOTE=Jill Ginsberg]I was just told my 3 year old daughter has ADHD. We weren't surprised. This is our 3rd child and we knew her behavior was off. Her pediatrician wants her on adderall 10mg. I still have the mindset that I could have done more. Should I have disciplined differently or more harsh? Should I spend more time working with her? She's very kind. There is no "bad" behavior. She's EXTREMELY active and hyper. We can hardly stand to be around her and taking her anywhere is out of the question. I need advice. Thanks, Jill
[/QUOTE]
"O" sweetie my son is 2 years old and man o man is he full of energy. My MIL thinks he has it, as well as myself. Hubby was the same way at my son's age and his 12 year old sister is the same way, not to mention my little brother and one of my nephew's has it to.. they say it's hereditary **sigh**
Cameren is on the go from the time he wakes up, no joke. The minute he opens his eyes he is running and yelling and just at it until the time I get him to sleep. Getting him to bed is a challange but not to bad, I will lay there with him and rub his face or legs and it soothes him but he can't sit still and I do have to get on to him all the time. He has a hitting problem when it comes to his 12 year old aunt, he can't seem to stop hitting her and when I pull him aside to talk to me, he is just all over the place and again can't sit still and focus... He gets into things he knows he is not supposed to get into and I will ask him to stop and he looks at me and keeps doing it and then whyen you walk closer to him he throws it ahd yells and gets really mad, I mean it's an every day thing with him, same routine.... now there are times when he sits still and watches tv with no problem, I mean it has to be something he really likes or he can't sit still. going out to eat, nope... at times we can get away with it, but for the most part he yells and gets mad and gets attitudes with us, yeah at the age of 2 can you believe it... I don't know if he has it yet or not, but I called the Dr and wanted to see if they could test him, how did you know, what kind of tests were ran on your daughter. "O" and he will throw big fits out in public, O man and it gets me so upset, but at times he will be calm when he is around someone he doesn't know or doesn't feel comfy with, and when he feels comfy, look out it's like you gave him coffee.. I'm not ashamed if he does have it, I would rather get it taken care of right now before it gets worse so I'm sitting here researching it to know more about it.
You will get tons of different advise. What you need to do is RESEARCH RESEARCH RESEARCH before you make any decisions. If you need a break, hire someone for an hour or two so you get a little break. But you need to go to your library and read all you can on ADHD.
Look thru the alternatives. First thing to do is her diet. Read about the Feingold diet. Keep her outside running around. Spend most of your time at parks! Maybe you can jog with her (good for both of you if you are able!) Try getting one of those very small bouncers (mini-trampolines) for inside the house. She can bounce on that when she has energy.
Please use meds as a very last resort. They are not horrible, and I am not anit-meds, but in such a young child it would be last for me.
We started with a physcologist, but we didn't know what was wrong. When he was diagnosed we went to a physciatrist.
We chose to medicate because he was providing lots of harm to other kids in school by biting, hiting, kicking, choking, scratching, all impulsive behavior. We tried EVERY kind of behavior modification and discipline, NOTHING worked. Now we know it was because of ADHD. Our physciatrist told us that behavior modifiaction will not work until he is older.
I had an inclusion specialist observe my son at school. She came from an agency that works with some of the other children at his school. I was lucky that I was given this opportunity. She recommended I go further and have him evaluated.
I looked at a variety of different options. I spoke with our peditrician and my son's play therapist. The peditrician provided a name of someone that had a specialization with children. Of course my luck was that he wasn't on my insurance plan. So I just began calling doctors on my plan and found one that believed in looking at the whole picture not just medicating from the start.
My son's situation was very similar to AZMOM's child. We too chose to medicate.
The counselor is still working with my son as this was the recommendation of our doctor. We are finding play therapy to be a great resource for our son.
I can understand your frustration. I too had some of the same feelings. Don't give up and keep plugging. I found counseling helped me during this time of not knowing what to do. It helped keep me level headed.
Further down this forum you will se a few topics from me that were very similar to this. My son is 3.5 and was diagnosed a few months back. We did Focalin and Abilify (not for bipolar, just for activity) and I took him off it altogether about 1 wk ago. I never felt comfortable giving such a baby meds and it made me feel so good to take him off it. Like you, we have no bad behaviour, we just have extreme activity and some over-emotionality.
You may want to take a quick look at the "alternative" forum. When I first heard the word "alternative" I imagined eating grasshoppers and chanting!! lol. But, its more like using different kids of vitamins and diet changes.
I promised myself that I would give my child a good 6 mos of diet and behaviour modification before I even reconsidered meds again. So far I am very happy with my decision.
Whatever you choose to do, make sure you are comfortable with it (as can be) and that you dont buy into too much hype from ANY direction. You know best. :) I really wish you the very best of luck.
Continuation of my last post
I too started my son at the age of 4 and we have seen miracles...he is so happy and uses self-control in such a positive way. 
I feel good about his future. As I've mentioned in other posts we have also included a diet plan as our son's psychitrist believes in diet/medication.
I can't tell you what to do but if it were my child and she was only 3, I would want to try other methods before I tried meds. If she were a danger to herself or others, it would be different.
There are alternatives and behavioural interventions you could try. I would also consider finding a good child psychologist who could help you learn strategies to help her and to help you cope.
The others are right. With ADHD, its neurologically based and while her environment can have an effect, it doesn't cause it and it wouldn't make it disappear. You can blame yourself but even experts who happen to have an ADHD child can't make it go away.
This is an excellent site to help you understand her. She has many strengths they will encourage you to find, and help her learn to use those strengths to overcome the weaknesses that you find with ADHD. http://www.allkindsofminds.org/
I am not anti-meds. The day may come when she will need them to get through school but at her age, since she isn't a behaviour problem and just shows the hyperactivity, I would try other methods first. You have time before she is in school so its the best time to try them.
Hi Jillfirst of all welcome
everyone on here is her to help and listen. I think most of us have been through the same feelings. I also have 3 children and my youngest Kyle has been diagnosed with adhd and autistic tendancies. I also knew that Kyle was different from my other 2 children. Kyle is a nightmare to take out and when I did and he used to start people would talk about us whilst walking past and at first this used to bother me and upset me but now I just answer people by saying "Sorry but not all disabilities are visable and just because you cannot see that my child has disabilities it doesn't mean he hasn't got any". It is awful that I feel the need to do this but the reason I used to worry about going out with kyle was because how I felt people would judge me but as you have probably been able to tell this no longer bothers me and now I am more relaxed with taking him out as I got over my fears opf other people. I feel that this is what most people are worried about as that is the society we live in where people think they have the rights to judge others. As for not being able to atand being around her maybe you have a family member who could take her off your hands for a few hours a week when you are your partner can go for a meal or have some quality time with your other 2 children. I hope this helps you a little. Good luck and once again welcome barb, thanks for sharing the web site allkindsofminds.org
I agree that you have to help her learn to use those strengths to overcome the weaknesses that you find with ad/hd.
I was just told my 3 year old daughter has ADHD. We weren't surprised. This is our 3rd child and we knew her behavior was off. Her pediatrician wants her on adderall 10mg. I still have the mindset that I could have done more. Should I have disciplined differently or more harsh? Should I spend more time working with her? She's very kind. There is no "bad" behavior. She's EXTREMELY active and hyper. We can hardly stand to be around her and taking her anywhere is out of the question. I need advice. Thanks, Jill
hello jill,my son is 4 and was also diagnosed a few months back
it is normal for you to feel that you should have done something more as you are new to this but it is not your fault EVEN IF YOU TRIED TO BE HARDER ON HER IT WOULD NOT WORK,IT NEVER DOES WITH ADHD kids.she needs alot of love and attention and it will be tiring as you have other kids.
you are lucky she does not have bad behavior,jude also is not but has the energy of three people.
you will maybe see a difference when she starts kindergarden
how do you feel about giving her the meds?
sorry i forgot
persevere taking her out,after awhile it gets better,try somewhere where she can spend her energy
hello and welcome... i have a 4 yr old son that we thought was ADHD but dillons has violent outburst,rages and at times he is out of control.. but the 1st doctor we seen said he was adhd and placed him on adhd medication.. dillon went into a manic state from the medication ..that is when we realized dillon wasn't ADHD.. he is bipolar..we thought long and hard before putting dillon on medications.. the only reason we decided to try meds on him was because we felt that dillon was in danger and so was the family..YES the family was and still is in danger..we are abused by my 4 yr old.. beleive me i have felt the same way you feel.. what did i do wrong. what could or can i do different.. all i can say to you is deciding to medicate you child is something you and your husband have to decide... there is no right or wrong .. you have to decide what is BEST for your family and your child... good luck and remember we are all here for you..
jill,
I would go for a 2nd opinion. Also call the local school system and perhaps you can get some services through child find. Being as active as she is might just make her eligible for pre-school services (she sounds like she would qualify to me). Maybe she has some sensory issues going on that could be help with an OT...the child find people will let you know about this.
This is just my opinion but I would hold off on the meds until you get a second opinion.
good luck with everything
JMO, but I think the US has a better handle on childhood disorders than other countries, in which most of the time all childhood disorders are normally chalked up to ADHD. Early onset bipolar is an "American Disorder" (I read this on another board) and high functioning autism is a hard dx. to get because you can't see a NeuroPsych without a referral. Lots of stuff wrong with our country--I'm not flag waver--but, as much as we need improvement here in mental health, I do think we are the cutting edge in mental health. As one with bipolar, I'm really glad I live here rather than somewhere else. I would have been put on stimulants as a child and that would have made me far worse. There are support groups here. CHADD is big for ADHD.I like NeuroPsychs, but again I need to warn you that your daughter is so young that no matter what they tell you, the diagnosis is apt to change. If it were me doing this over again, I'd think long and hard about meds for a three year old or accepting the ADHD dx. Is your daughter just hyper or does she rage? Any speech delays? Strange behavior? Tantrums that go on forever?OlderMom38876.5360069444This is just an observation, but if you start the meds, it might be too high a dose at first, don't get discouraged. My 7 year old started with only 5 mg adderall xr, then after a week, he went up to 10mg xr. Then another week later, he went to regular adderall 5 mg. it made him very aggressive and cried nonstop, now we have him on concerta. Good luckI agree with not trusting a ped to make a diagnosis for ADHD -- they just don't have the skills or training to do so. Since your child is so young and the symptoms of many childhood disorders mimic one another, I'd recommend a multidisciplinary evaluation at a children's or university hospital. This kind of evaluation brings lots of doc in various specialties together to observe and evaluate your child. I think it's one way to rule a lot of disorders in or out. Good luck.Certainly, I would start by getting further evaluations - child psyciatrist, neurologist or pediatric behavior specialist - ask your pediatrician for some referrals. Get a full evaluation and then decide. As long as the child is not in school, and doesn't present a danger to themselves or others, there is no reason to rush to medications. You need to know what the problem is before you can try to find the cure. And, I would also try the non medication route first (therapy etc.) at least until Kindergarten. Just my opinion. nekochan38876.1664583333Try the med....see how it works. My son had just turned 4 when he was diagnosed. If it is the right med, it will improve your life by leaps and bounds...it did ours anyways!
We started with Adderall XR, but switched to Ritlan cause the Adderall didn't work right. Just food for thought.
No professional, especially just a pediatrician, can diagnose ADHD in a 3 year old. My son was similarly diagnosed, and later I found out it's just too young to know what is causing the problem behavior and it's unlikely that it's your parenting. Most kids want to be good. If kids are out of control, yes, something is off, but it's not always ADHD nor would I rush for Adderrall. Adderrall and all stims can make certain disorders even worse, and I'd wait on it. I suggest a NeuroPsych or Child Psychiatrist (with the MD before his name) to try to figure out a complicated, out -of - control young child. You probably won't get the right dx. the first time, but you can try. My son was on Ritalin, Concerta, Adderrall (a nightmare), Prozac (a bigger nightmare), Risperdal (an even bigger nightmare than Prozac), Zyprexa (same as Risperdal reaction), Triletpal, Lithium, Depakote and Lithium. His wrong diagnoses started at age 3 with ADHD. Then ODD was added to the ADHD. Then, at 8, it changed to early onset bipolar. He didn't rage, but he still got that diagnosis and the meds. Then we went for more help because it seemed wrong. He was 11. We finally got the autistic spectrum disorder that we'd always suspected and which makes the most sense. He's off meds now and doing great. The point is, we rushed to medicate and I wouldn't advise anyone else to do it since the younger kids are so hard to diagnose. YOu don't really know if she has ADHD or something else. I wish you lots of luck and a better time than we had :) Whatever you decide, you need this!
Hang in there! It isn't easy but your daughter is worth it.
it depends which country you are in but here he had to be evaluated by child psychologist and he had to go to a special nursery for 4 days to be evaluated by psychiatrist,behavorial expert,language therapist and so on.
in britain they don't likedx ADHD before 5 but it happens like for my son but they do not give meds to preschoolers.
i have given myself until next year to try therapies and homeopathy if it doesn't work i will try the meds.
i don't know about america but i have good support here,i have homestart who takes him all day on thursdays and my little girl go to a young carer support group to have fun away from him.
oldermom is right about america being good for dx and help on childhood disorders,also i get a lot of help it is only respite to give me time off,the dx is another story,they don't even know what bipolar is!!!Jill,
Please call the Child find office of your local school district...these people can evaluate your daughter ( for free your taxes cover this) and then direct you to any services that you may be eligible for.