Feeling down | ADHD Information
Please know that you are not alone! After having my son's IEP on Thursday I called a friend and told her that I never believed that it could ever be this hard to parent. Parents of children who don't have ADHD just don't understand! Every single day is a battle if not many of them. On Wednesday morning at 6am I awoke to find that my son had colored himself from head to toe with a green magic marker because as he said, "I wanted to be the Hulk". I was so mad I could barely see straight! When I got to work that day I learned that a co-worker's son had suddenly died. That made my green kid look pretty spectacular! Hi azmom, i know where you are coming from and I have felt like this on many many occasions so this one is just for youI hope this made you smile
I have been feeling down lately. I keep thinking why can't my child be normal? Especially when I see younger kids talking better than my child. (when he is not on med) My son talks is blurbs. You know, parts of a sentence come out instead of the whole sentence.
I am so nervous to make friends with other families, I am always afraid that my child will do something impulsivly. Weather it be agression to the other kids or something that makes no sense popping out of his mouth.
AZMOM,
I totally know the feeling. My son just had an episode earlier in the week that really embarrased my husband and I and it is very hard to make friends because you never know what is going to happen. I actually last night spent the night crying because of the same feelings you are feeling - why can't he be normal, why can't he lead a normal life like other children and not have to worry, have friends. Sometimes it just doesn't seem fair, but then I THANK GOD for every minute of every day I have with him and realize it could be a lot worse.
[QUOTE=paeggs] When I got to work that day I learned that a co-worker's son had suddenly died. That made my green kid look pretty spectacular! [/QUOTE]
Sure puts things in perspective ...Green is beautiful
WHEN I FEEL LIKE THIS I REMIND MYSELF THAT HE COULD HAVE BEEN A LOT WORSE THAN HE IS.
THERE IS A LOT WORSE DISABILITY THAN ADHD ANDIT USUALLY HELPS ME TO REMIND MYSELF.
Thank you all so much.oh Thank you all for coming back to me, I was feeling that my words was just going into outer space or something.
My grandson has this attitude problem which he is the only person that knows everything. He will often put his mother and father down and tell them they don't know anything because you never graduated from high school. he tried that with me and I told him that I had 2 associates degrees, then he says well you are stupid you did not learn a thing. So no one is any smarter than he is! This I atribibute to his age more so. But on the other hand I don't know if it can be the ADHD too (I think).
I have a lot of questions but I find it hard to put into words, because all my life I was able to talk to my best friend (my mother ) but since she pasted away I have noone to talk too. And I don't talk to just anybody about my family problems, but that was what I was taught all my life. I guess I was taught in the old school.
jfla2 if you will give me the name of thte person that you was talking about in priviate message I will write her and see if she might be able to shed some light on this for me. Because I really need some insight of what is happening and how to deal with it all.
I know the more I get a grip on this the better things will get for my grandson and myself. I don't want him growing hating me, because I love him so much. And it makes me feel guilty because he has been the center of attention and my other grandchildren have been neglected from all this. But when I try to pay a little attention to them then our problems get more intent. He feels that I am ingnoring him.
grandmaataloss
First of all, if you look at life from the viewpoint of others (such as kermit the frog) you will realize that green isn't such a bad color
Secondly, google 'welcome to holland' - it's a great description of what all the parents on this board are going through with their kids
Hello everyone
I am a grandma that just recently got custody of my grandchild (a boy age 15) and he has been diagnosed with ADHD with BI-Polar. I guess I just need someone to talk too that has some knowledge about this. I have him in couselling and he is on meds but some days he is super and then days like today they are a living he--.
He goes to bed angry at me and I go to bed crying not knowing what mood he will be in in the morning, then again wheather he will sleep through the night or not. there will weeks that he will be on the go day and night and then there are weeks that he seems to be a normal 15 year old kid and sleep through the night without waking the whole night.
I know that some of his actions has to do with the fact that he is a 15 year old but I also realize that some are due to the AHDH and Bi-Polar. But it is so hard to know which is which.
It is really hard for me to ask for help in anything, but I do know that I need some help here and am at a loss as to where to look. I have called my local hospital to see if they had a support group but they do not (at least not for ADHD with Bi-Polar).
grandmaataloss
I know how you feel.I have a 61/2 yr old with ADHD & 0DD.Plus I have an almost 4 yr old and they fight(not fist fight) all the time.My 6 1/2 yr has a mentaltity of a 3 1/2 -4 yr old.But I don't treat him that way.
There are some good days but lately the days have been bad to me.
I just feel like screaming my head off b/c I don't really have any help.My husband is away from home alot b/c of his job.But when he is home my son won't listen to my husband.
I just wish that my kid could be normal sometimes.I know God does things for a reason,So I won't ? that.
I don't really have any friends here all my friends live in another state.I wish I had someone to talk to that lived close to me.
I know how you all feel. I really wish that my son had an easier time making and keeping friends. I also wish that those ignorant people would keep their looks and comments about my son to themselves! Even if he doesn't understand the looks, I do. It is very hard for me. He has no siblings and I have no spouse. I have no family here either. I realize he could have a worse disorder. It reeally irks me that it is a brain disorder at times. Not that I would wish any disorder on anyone but think of it this way. At least when a child's disorder is physical it is obvious to people and the s**theads aren't so judgemental!
grandmaataloss,I sent you a Private Message. Check your your box
Celebrate and build on their strengths, pick a couple weaknesses and work on those. Try to balance it out.
As others have already said it could be much worse. Focus on your blessings...
before I had my own children, I had the opportunity to teach deaf multihandicapped kids aged 14-22 with mental ages of 18 months to 4yrs. I didn't realize what a blessing it was to have done that until now. That is probably why I have never thought about wanting ds to be "normal". I tell ds that he makes my life colorful and wonderful.
In the grand scheme of things your memory of your child covered in green marker may one day bring smiles and fond memories. From your child's perspective, it made perfect sense. Personally, I gotta love a kid that will do that.
Just told my ds and dh about the Magic Marker, their response was
dh: "hmmm...
"ds: "Makes sense...takes alot of Magic Marker."
jfla238904.9009027778
Yesterday I dicided to go grocery shopping, it had been a while since I had taken my grandson, so when he asked to go, I did not see any reason why he should not. He had never given me a problem in public before.
Well I soon got a wake up call and boy did I. He had wanted some super high energy drinks and I said no. I did not feel that he needed them, because he has enough energy.
Have you ever seen a 15 year old through a tantrum in the store? Believe me if we had another main grocery store I would go shopping there because I am to embarassed to show my face in that store again. I am sure tha people for 5 city blocks could he him yelling at me! Was I wrong by not letting him have the super high energy drinks?
I have never ever seen him act like that! I told him to go to the car and wait for me and his reply was "no". Well needlees to say I had to cut my shopping short, infact I just left my cart and walked out of the store with nothing my head low and tears falling. I was so ashamed and embarassed from all this.
I ended up giving the list to grandpa and he had to go to the store and get the groceries. I am still hurt and shocked that a 15 year old would through a tantrum like he did.
He did not get any sleep and neither did I last night. He will keep me up most nights because he is mad at me for making him to do his chores or like yesterday me telling him no....... what am I to do? I tried to get him to except another item at the store that I felt was more exceptable but nothing to do he wanted the super high energy drinks.
His mother allowed him to drink that stuff and she was constantly having to call the police because she could not handle him. Now he is trying to start that with me. talking to him is useless becauser you can see him turn you off and he will continue to yell that he never gets a thing. I am the meanest grandma living.
Was I wrong by refusing something I felt was not good for him due to his ADHD with Bi-Polar?
Grandma
AZMOM,
I just finished crying 1/2 an hour ago wondering if there was some reason this was all happening to me. I wondered if maybe more was wrong with my son (9 year old ADHD and Deaf-with a cochlear implant) than I know of.
I find myself hoping for the smallest things. I celebrated when we finished potty training at 5 1/2 and tied our shoes at 8. I now hope for talking by 13. I know that is a ways off but we are working on it.
Hang in there!
Becca
I feel for you all . I posted about my sons camp calling. I've been up all night sick to my stomach. Just when I was thinking he's so much better, I get this slap on the face. I feel so amazingly alone.
Hello everyone
I really do appreciate all of your help with me and my grandson. For the most part it has helped some. I however am starting with some other issues that he is starting to bring up and it is just about 2 weeks away from one of his counseling appointments, I am hoping that I can keep him from really exploding before that and maybe the counselor can help him to figure out what is going on.
I have finially found a woman in my area that is in a support group for grandparents becoming parents again and she has said that it might help my with my problem. She has said that they deal with this kind of problems as well as adjustments from grandmothers to a parent again and she feels it might be what I need. Well anything is worth a try if it will help with my grandson and my relationship (I Love him soooo much) and I am willing to try anything at this point.
I just wanted to thank all of you that has offered me some sound advice, "Thank You". It has been nice to be able to talk to some one that understands the problems that I am having with my grandson. And the information that was given and I have read the information on the web sites, and it has helped a lot, I am starting to understand some of the problems associated with ADHD and Bi-Polar. I still don't know all about it but what I have learned has helped me to get a small grip and my tears are starting to dry up some. I however am still a very tender hearted person and it takes little to make the tears flow again.
God Bless you all!
grandmaataloss
MomWI
I have sent you a private message
Thank you for your imput
grandmaataloss
Grandma, you sound a good, caring person. Is your grandson on meds for bipolar? Of the two disorders, bipolar is more serious (I have it), and stimulants for ADHD (and Straterra) often make the bipolar worse. I agree he shoudln't have high energy drinks. I think acting out in the store at 15 could be a mixed state or teen mania. You may want to post on another board I go to. On that board parents are familiar with both ADHD and bipolar (among other things).
Take care.