Why the whinning and drama? | ADHD Information
Jill,
Sounds like Dylan a few months ago. We all were in agreement it was anxiety.
I would take him up to bed, he'd brush his teeth and go to the bathroom, and as soon as I got him into bed it started. He needed lotion, his hands were dry. He needed powder between his legs, they were itchy. He needed cream (Neosporin) on this cut or that scratch. I'd get downstairs - and it continued. I'd have forgotten the teddy bear (that he could so easily reach down and get himself ), I forgot the nightlight, I forgot to prop the door open further, I forgot to give him this or that - ugh, it was a nightmare.
I took the advice from someone on another board. I set up a little end table in his room that has his lotion, his powder, all his junk on it, just for him. I got myself into the routine he wanted. I asked him specifically what he wanted and needed to go to sleep. So now, I take him up, he brushes his teeth and goes to the bathroom and gets his own stuff himself. He needs: 5 hugs, 5 kisses (exactly!), he wants me to rub his belly for 60 seconds (exactly, *sigh*), prop the door open, X out the day on his calendar and turn on the night light. Now that I'm in that routine, he goes to sleep much better (and thanks to Abilify).
Maybe you could grab a piece of construction paper and some markers, ask her exactly what she would like done and what she needs before bed. Put all those items on there, then check them off when done. That way, she's got everything she needs and has no other reason to get out of bed? That's what I did for Dylan, worked pretty good. Just a thought.
Janna
[QUOTE=quixote]He left me, but I won't
take him back when he begs because I have one challenging child, I can't
handle two. [/QUOTE]
my guy is not a daily whinner either...however, I do remember fighting with him to remove splinters from his feet when he was little...I had to shut the windows because he was having an Oscar moment.
When my 15+ son was born, I read a great book by Penelope something-or-other and I remember reading that bedtime is a trial, usually for everyone at some point. Perhaps she is whiny because it gets a reaction, and is nothing to do with adhd. When my almost-8 adhder starts getting fired up at bedtime, I just walk out of the room and say," Fine tuck yourself in then, goodnight." Boy, does that get a better attitude! Once I realized that engaging that bad behavior only ratchets it up a few notches, I totally disengaged and put the power back where it belongs, with the adult.
As for aches and pains, it sounds like normal kid stuff. Our good friends have a 6 year old girl who almost always has two or three Band-aids on somewhere. I was in the office of our grade school one day when she came in to see the nurse for a Band-aid. The nurse was gone, so I asked her where the boo-boo was so I could help. She held out one hand and started to examine her fingers, finally showing me a well-scabbed nick on her pinkie. I said,"But that's so old! It needs a band-aid?" She said, "Oh. I just wanted a pink one" and turned on her heel and went back to class. Kids with drama have so much more personality than those without. It will serve them well later in life.
[QUOTE=SmallMom]Jill, I know I'm always recommending books to you, but have you read The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. Great book for parenting chronically inflexible and easily frustrated children (like ours!).[/QUOTE]
*It is on my list for either the bookstore or Library just have not had the time or money. I will be purchasing it however soon.
Janna having her make a list sounds like a good idea. Sometimes we just need to vent and I love her dearly but it is not easy. Mind you I go to work having to solve other people's crisis too (social work).
I swear I hate mornings and bedtime, especially bedtime. Evenings are always the worse it is a chore putting her to bed some nights like tonight the whinning and carrying on for what? I swear something else is going on with her and our psychologist I like does not seem to respond or is it just an adhd thing. My daughter is so rigid and things have to be just so and it is still not good enough sometimes i think it is just stalling other times I wonder. I hate the tears and whinning and the screaming.
Anyone else have the problem when they have one little boo boo the drama queen comes out. She jumped off the next doors porch and scraped her wrist small size of a quarter and she has been milking it since. Everything hurts it according to her the drama. If I do not make sense I am sorry needed to vent it can be so frustrating at times I am jealous of moms who have easy children.
Jill, I know I'm always recommending books to you, but have you read The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. Great book for parenting chronically inflexible and easily frustrated children (like ours!).yhat is weird
my son has a high pain threshold and you never know when he hurts himself,opposite of yours
he hurt his toe a coupleof weeks back and he enjoyed himself so much at the ER that each time he hurts himself now he wants to go thee and so milks it
My son is in the tub right now, with a huge splinter in his foot. I amstalling to avoid the scene that we are about to have. I think some of it is
that they cannot relate a past experience to a current scenario. In other
words, every time that I have to sit on him to forcibly remove a splinter,
he instantly feels better and is very happy that it is out. Yet he can't seem
to recall or believe this when it comes up again. Our kids are 100% in this
moment and cannot look forward or predict anything, especially pre and
post med (wake-up and bedtime).
The way I see it, if he can't learn from consequences or from what
happened in the past, then I can't permanently damage him by forcibly
treating a wound or pointedly ignoring one. He doesn't remember that,
either.
Well, I can't avoid this any longer. Good luck with your drama queen...I think it is a low threshold for pain as well that they are more whinny. my husband has adult ADD and he too is more whinny when in pain or is it a guy thing. When his back was out it was terrible, mine is troubling me now and I grin and bare it and life goes on.That could be part of it- my ex is the same way. He once made me and
our 12 month old son walk around a park in a questionable neighborhood
for two hours because he had gotten a headache on a trip and had to lie
in the van in total silence. He has severe ADHD also and I truly believe
that he never wondered what we were doing. He is the most self-centered
person I ever met, though often in a very sweet and innocent way. If he
has a pain, the rest of the world ceases to exist. He left me, but I won't
take him back when he begs because I have one challenging child, I can't
handle two.