Hi everyone,
I haven't really posted too much but have learned so much from you guys, and thank you for that. I guess I am going to tell you a little about my son and get some opinions from you all. First of all, I know this sounds crazy, but I knew my son had adhd before he was 1 yr old. He was always a difficult baby and the tantrums. He is also an only child (infertility miracle). We made it through pre- school with a lot of time outs and notes home. At age 4 we took him to a psychologist and the diagnosed him with the combined type adhd. My pediatrician also specializes in adhd. I put him in Kindergarden this year without saying anything about adhd and it only took 2 weeks for the teacher to call. We were blessed with an awesome teacher who knows about adhd and works with me by doing a behavior chart every day and rewards him. I finally started medication in September and the first was Focalin. It worked so well that the teacher said she has never seen such a drastic improvement before. We got to go out to restaurants! He went from not paying attention at all to excelling in everything. The problem was that he started to develop pretty severe facial tics. His problem is mostly behavioral, and impulsive. He is not behind in school. We reduced his medication and tried, ritalin, metadate, and now he is on Strattera. My problem is that I don't think the Strattera is working and it's been a month already. I don't want to give this to him if it isn't doing anything for him. He will be starting a summer program which is all day and I don't know if he is going to make it without getting in trouble all of the time. This is the same after school program he is in now and the director actually told me that he needs to be on medication. (I tried natural for a while but it wasn't working) I finally got an appointment with a neuropsychologist in August. My son is not a bully type and everyone wants to be his friend. He has a huge heart and would give his last piece of candy to a friend. He is just so loud and disruptive. He needs constant attention and is very demanding. He doesn't do well in public and it seems the more people there are, the worse his behavior gets. Also, I had a full food and environmental allergy test done on him last week and everything is normal. Sometimes I think it is bad parenting on our part and maybe he is spoiled, then other times I look around and think that I am not doing anything any different than anyone else. How do we make it through the summer? I would love to hear some opinions. Thanks
It's not bad parenting, but it could be something besides ADHD. I'm glad you're seeing a NeuroPsych. You'll know after you see them. If he's a good one, they do very intensive testing. Tantrumming a lot is not a symptom of ADHD--not part of the criteria. I'm glad you're going for a total evaluation. I'm leery of "ADHD" Specialists. They will see their disorder in every kid and disregard other possibilities. Hang in there until your appointment. There isn't much else you can do. I know neuropsychs have long waiting lists--been there/done that.Thanks, and I do read all of your posts, and have learned a lot from you. He doesn't really have the tantrums anymore, it's more of the constant whining when he doesn't get his way. Here's a good example, the carnivl was in town last week and got cancelled due to rain. Well, he cried for a half an hour about it. I hope he's a good neuro too, by the time you find one that takes insurance and 6 yr olds, it's narrowed down.
Hi sueocon!I am a stepparent of a 5yr. old boy that has adhd and we are in the process of getting more evaluations done. I came into his life when he was 2 years old. As soon as I met this wounderfull little boy for the first time I knew he was addh. After talking to the entire family(bialogical mom included) I learned that he has been very "ACTIVE" since birth. But the family thought he was just being a boy.
Thanks Stepmomof1,
I will try anything about now! I am so afraid he isn't going to make it through the summer program without getting kicked out. He did have a chart on what he did each day in keindergarden. I think I will give the strattera another week or so. Then my only choice is back to the natural remedies and pray until the evaluation!!
Just putting a "ditto" behind what OlderMom said. Neuropsych's are very good - I think you will find alot more answers there.
Most pediatricians are far from ADHD experts. In all honesty, mental illness is way out of the realm of expertise for them, and usually they'll prescribe an ADHD med, but if they don't work, they have no experience to go further.
I would look for the board certified psychiatrist. Also, start taking daily notes on your child's behaviors, good and bads. This will help with the psychiatrist and/or neuropych when it's time to meet, and also helps you to not forget anything (I have an awful habit of meeting with the psychiatrist, talking for 30 minutes, getting in the car halfway down the road, and then go "OH MAN I FORGOT TO TELL HIM....whatever LOL").
I seriously doubt it's bad parenting. If you are consistent with the rules, place the consequences and follow through, it's certainly not that. My son, Dylan, also has more problems when we're in larger groups, and things like carnivals and theme parks and all that, disasterous. Just way too much stimulation for him.
Janna
Well, I guess I spoke too soon about the summer program. They called me in today and basically told me they don't want him for the full 5 days and maybe they will try part time first. His behavior is a bad influence. They said this because he wont be on medication this summer until I have the neuro test. He is 1 month into Strattera, but no results yet. This was my worst fear and it already happened. I have already started looking at other options and I think it was a blessing because I found a camp that will pick him up in our town and it has all the outdoor things that he loves, fishing, swimming, etc. I figure if they only want him part time, they don't really want him at all and I don't feel comfortable leaving him there. So maybe there is something good out of all of this.I read this somewhere: Bad parenting doesn't make a child have ADHD, but an ADHD child can make an adult a bad parent.
Yes, how will we make it through the summer? How about hanging out at a pool? I can't think of a better way for them to play to their heart's content and come home completely worn out. Or a beach. I live in a landlocked state but we have some "beaches" here on the local lakes. I find that playing in the sand and making castles very soothing for my dd, who is 7.
I'm sorry you are having so much trouble with meds. Somehow, you have to find something to do where he isn't constantly being criticized for his behavior. I fear the constant negative feedback will eventually backfire. So find an ADHD-friendly environment for him.
Too bad he can't get into a daycamp for ADHD kids. How about sports? How about a YMCA soccer (recreational) team? Or maybe karate class-unless he might try out his karate on a friend. My next door neighbor who is a single mom takes karate class with her 6yo son. I hear karate is good for teaching discipline and respect. Gymnastic class? My kids loved the gymnastics gym that had a huge pit filled with foam squares and they got to jump in and play around in it. Does he like bike riding? We occasionally go to a bike trail and ride to an ice cream shop.
Those are my ideas for now. hth
Well I think it was a blessing. If you do not feel comfortable sending him there then DON'T.I spounds like the other place has more for him. I am sad because he will not be with his friends, I am guessing. But the other place sounds great. GOOD LUCK!!!
hello,i dread summer as well ,i have an unmedicated 4 year old that is too young for summer camps.
could the summer camp hire an extra person for your son?maybe he will be ok,jude is fine as long as you keep him occupied,if he is busy he's not as bad.
GOOD LUCK
Good Luck. You are doing the right thing by reaching out for help. Just being able to talk to other people in simular situations is a big help. when I joined I was at the point where I wanted all my children to go away.(only my ss is adhd, my 2 girls are only 2 1/2 and 9months, no signs-yet) I really began to see what mothers who go through post-partem depression feel like. I had some thought that were really scarry. But thankfully my family lives very near so they were able to help. But I think I have gotten the most help from the boards. Just by doing what you have done, reading posts and then finally talking. It does help. I wish you and your family the best of luck. I am told this will get easier- I sure do hope it does.Raising a child with adhd is the hardest challange a parent will ever have to do. A child that is difficult is hard. It took me 7 years to have my son. He is 8 now. I new i had a problem when he was 18 months old. I have been in daycare since 1989. So i knew what was normal and what was not. My son has been on meds since 3. He is 8 now. I do go crazy a lot of days. But i love my child so much. And when he is an adult i will tell him all the stories about his childhood. I guess God sent us these children for a reason. We don't know what it is yet but their is always a reason. Your not a bad parent. Just keep in mind that his brain doesn't work like other childrens. Good luckI just love that quote about bad parenting!! We just finished the t-ball and soccer for now. Sometimes it was a little embarrasing with all the outbursts, and sometimes he just didn't want to go.We do have a lake in town and he loves to go there, but the new camp has swimming every day which he does love. He will miss his friends, but there will be 1 of them going with him. It's actually a bus every day about a half hour away from home. The other program does 2 field trips a week and the director said she was a little worried about that, and so am I. So, maybe it's for the best and I will have some answers by the end of summer. We have our first appointment with the neuro next Friday and that one is only a 90 minute consultation before the big test. Thanks Everyone!