New Here-ADHD 7yo daughter | ADHD Information

Let me introduce myself.  I am a SAHM of a beautiful 7yo daughter with ADHD.  Her sister is almost 6 without ADHD.  I have been visiting this board for many months now, and it has been really helpful to me.  Thank you!  Except for the trolls, of course.

Now for our story.  The 7yo started early intervention speech therapy at age 2 since she was a late talker.  She was explosive even as a 2 yo so we took her to 3 different developmental peds. to see what they thought.  One said she may have PDD-NOS and/or mood disorder, the other two said developmental delay and recommended that I read The Explosive Child, etc.  She had been in early intervention programs all through the preschool years, focusing on speech and social skills, all without medication.  Fast forward to first grade, last August.  She had the worst time after school with homework.  The 10-minute homework that lasted 2 hours of screaming.  When she came home, she had no idea what to do on her homework and I was having to reteach her, which she really didn't want to do.  She didn't have an IEP when first grade started even though we had tried to get her one starting in kindergarten.  So no accommodations were being made for her.  But we were having the school test her again, and lo and behold, she qualified for an IEP because of very low scores in receptive language.  We also went ahead and had her tested for auditory processing disorder.  Another month or so goes by and she is still having terrible tantrums over homework, so we finally decided on medication.  At this point, her dev. ped. diagnosed her formally with ADHD.  She started Strattera at low doses and gradually built up over time.  We saw a subtle improvement, but by no means a large improvement in her hyperness.  By about April, Strattera was no longer working and she was taking doses in the morning and afternoon.  Also I was still wondering about her diagnosis.  I wasn't sure if ADHD was correct or if there wasn't something else going on.  Her doctor added in Concerta 18 mg and we saw a difference this time, mainly in the morning hours.  She still wasn't able to keep her focus after lunchtime, so we doubled it to 36 mg and she became very "flat".  So now she is on 27 mg which seems to give her the maximum benefit during the day.  But then, she started getting REALLY hard to get along with in the afternoons and evenings.  She is very oppositional.  So we added in the short-acting Ritalin 5 mg or 10 mg at about 4:30 so it will last until bedtime. And of course she has trouble falling asleep so we give her melatonin.  But we have used melatonin on an as-needed basis for years now. 

Let me tell you, I HATE that we give her all these meds.  The reason we do is that she is almost impossible to live with otherwise.  She would constantly be getting negative feedback all day long, which I think will lead to her becoming even more oppositional than she is already.  So this summer, I am really focusing on repairing our relationship.  I'm trying to limit the negative feedback, and finding every chance to praise her.  DH and I are also making sure we do "special time" with her.  It's hard to see progress, though, through the intense sibling rivalry that takes place.  It is very tough for me, because I only have so much patience.  KWIM?  I get very frustrated on a daily basis and most of the time feel like I have failed to follow "the plan" to foster a good relationship.  DH and I decided that we also need "special time" together, so we have been going golfing on the weekend, and that has helped somewhat.

Sorry this is so long.  Anyway, in May we took her to a neuropsych for a full evaluation just to confirm the ADHD diagnosis and to see if there was an LD or ASD also contributing to her troubles.  He did confirm ADHD and also that she still could not attend very well, even though she was on medication.  We have since adjusted her Concerta to a higher dose of 27 mg.  His opinion was that she had and learning disability, not otherwise specified. 

This information was very useful in updating her IEP, which we did shortly after her test results.  She is going to be getting a lot more accommodations in 2nd grade.  And she is going to summer school next month.  I'm sure she will love that.   I think also that I will get her a tutor to help her with homework.  She really hates it when I try to work with her on her homework.  Very oppositional.  Again, that is another reason I am trying to repair our relationship. 

Perhaps we should also go to some kind of family therapy.  I still feel that we are rather dysfunctional.  DH and I are on the same page, thank goodness.  But she is still quite disruptive and oppositional, even with all these meds, and we are quite stressed out about it.  Mostly I am quite stressed out since I'm with them the most!  My other daughter just seems to roll with it, mostly, thank goodness.  She takes a lot of verbal abuse from her sister.

Finally, one other thing I am stressing about is that her personality seems to have changed.  She no longer wants to play with anybody.  Not me, not her sister, not any of her friends.  She says that a few of the neighborhood girls are mean to her.  But her sister seems to get along just fine with them.  Lately, she has been interested in the birdfeeder and chipmunks in our yard, so she spends time looking for bird nests and chipmunk holes.  It seems she has totally given up hanging out with her friends.  Is this just a phase?  I do have her enrolled in camps throughout the summer to provide those social opportunities.

So if you have read this far, thanks so much.  Does anyone here have any advice for dealing with oppositionality?  Or is that another board?  Is her personality change going to be permanent?  Is she going to get over the oppositionality?

 

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JMHO, but she sounds like a typical Spectrum kid whether or not she got the diagnosis yet. It's hard to get the diagnosis, even when it's obviously there. For a quick answer to your last question, my son seemed more social when he was younger, and, as he aged, seemed more into his obsessions (like your daughter and her chipmunks) than other kids and he is still quite the loner, disinterested in other kids for the most part. This has nothing to do with ADHD. Meds: Once we realized son's behaviors were due to ASD we cut out all his meds and he's doing great with the proper interventions. He doesn't take any meds and hasn't for three years. He continues to improve, but needs help in school as his attention span is also poor. Poor receptive language skills is another big sign of ASD, not ADHD.

I highly recommend you post on a site I belong to for ASD/PDD kids. She sounds a lot like many of our kids, rather than just having ADHD, and some things she is being medicated for may be part of the PDD, including being oppositional. PDD kids are VERY rigid and don't like changes and even have severe anxiety during changes and, if they are doing stuff they love (obessions) rage at times if told to stop doing things. I think your post would illicit some good responses on that site, whereas these parents know mostly just ADHD. I don't. My son was first diagnosed ADHD, but we knew it was more. Still, it took until age 11 for him to officially get his PDD-NOS diagnosis, which we'd known before, apparently, the professionals. I highly recommend you take her to a Neuropsych. It often takes YEARS to get any professional to say the "A" (autism spectrum) words, but your child won't get proper interventions if you don't hear the word. Here is the link to that site. I think you'll really feel at home there. You will find that even many NeuroPsychs refuse to diagnose autism until the kids are nearly teens. It's frustrating. They may say SID/ADHD/ODD/mood problems, etc., which added all together is autism, but they hold back the words, which deny our kids early interventions and make family, friends and teachers think they are just "bad." A speech delay is a huge symptom of PDD-NOS and has nothing to do with ADHD, but all ASD kids have ADHD symptoms. It's part of the Spectrum. It's ADHD plus a lot more. Good luck.

www.autism-pdd.net/forum/default.asp

 

OlderMom38884.3561805556Thanks oldermom.  I think that PDD was actually ruled out for her by both the dev. ped. and the neuropsychologist.  And I do see some PDD qualities, which is why I was confused for so long.  And perhaps one day the powers that be will come to realize that ADHD is somewhere "on the spectrum" as they say.   From my experience, ADHD sure seems like it could be on the spectrum.cr1, ASD was ruled out by tons of people from Psychiatrists to Neurologists for my son, but I still saw it, and he has it. I would post on the PDD board for other people's experiences with diagnosing and you'll see you're not alone. I do not feel that this child has ADHD as her first problem. It just is very hard for the professionals to diagnose beyond that. IMO if you listen to them, like we did, your child will miss out on years of interventions, like mine did. ADHD could be on the spectrum, but it just isn't as severe, and your child sounds very ASD. Good luck, whatever you decide. I don't thinkk you're finished with the PDD diagnose whether you persue it now or after it becomes more obvious as your child ages. I'm not trying to be mean--I'm trying to help. Again, good luck :) OlderMom38884.3587152778Some school counselors do social coaching if you ask and they can accommodate it time-wise. A therapist would probably do it if you asked them. Otherwise, it would be up to you. We have done lots of social coaching here at home, especially in first grade. You have to spell all the social conventions and cues out to them, prompting and practicing all the time. If my son is going to another child's house, for several days ahead of time while we are playing with toys in his room, I will ask him things like," When you are at John's house, what should you do if he wants to do something you don't want to do?" Or,"I don't like the way you just took that toy from me. When you are at John's house, how will you ask for a turn with a toy?" It sounds very basic, like stuff that even very young children know, but some kids have a really hard time with it. We would go through magazines and talk about how we thought the people in the pictures were feeling. If she is having a hard time relating to the other children because of hurt feelings, this may help.  If she is developing other symptoms or having meds issues, it may not help, but it won't hurt either.

[QUOTE=BPQW]Social coaching can be a lifesaver for kids who have a hard time with other children. [/QUOTE]

How do I find a social coach?  Any suggestions?

Social coaching can be a lifesaver for kids who have a hard time with other children.