I started this and it is a “hands on” discipline program that most ADHD kids will respond to.  ADHD kids need to participate in their discipline.  They do well if they are able to have hands on and participate in.  If they can see it, they will respond to it.  This is what I do.  I keep a log, but he is the one to add and remove the marbles.  I am also ADHD, so this system works for me to keep consistency in our home.

Marble System:

I have two "PLASTIC" containers.  I have "in" on one and "out" on the other.  I have a List of all the good things that he is supposed to to, like chores and reading books, homework with out a complaint and working on left over worksheets his teacher gave us, and I add to it when I think about new tasks he should be working on.  Each one has a value.  The most value is 10 marbles for reading a book.  Cleaning his room is 3 marbles and keeping it clean is 5.  I have every thing from brushing his teeth, to picking up any trash that might be in the yard, to picking up sticks, to helping me pull weeds.  After he gets 100 marbles he gets $30.00 and he has to put $10 of it in his savings.  Now, if he does something wrong he has to take out marbles.  If he gets sassy or talks back, he takes out 3.  If he argues he takes out 5.  To keep track of what goes in and out, he has to write it on the paper.  That way he cannot put more marbles in there than he should.  I have not had to argue, raise my voice, spank, or even tell him more than 2 times to do something.  I will remind him ONE time for a warning and then he has to take marbles out.  We are doing this instead of an allowance.  If he reads 10 books in a row he will get his money and we start all over.  But, I don't think he has figured that out yet.  lol  At the end of each day, if he doesn't have to take any out all day, I let him put 3 in to reward him for good behavior.  This has been the best system for my son, yet.  I don't have to raise my voice and it's much easer to keep consistency when I don't have to raise my voice or put him in time out all the time.  This way he can see his progress, and he takes great pride in counting all the marbles he collects.  After he has mastered a skill, it moves off the list, and we add a new one. 

Hey NoTellin,

Thanks for the information on the longer term benefits of the syste.

  Do you think the marble system would work with a bipolar child (9 year old) ?

Okay Ogram now you need to make a disk with this program and start making a profit.

I love this I do the same thing but using pennies....and for every good deed they get a certain number of pennies and if they do something bad or against the rules they have to remobve a certain number of pennies...at the end of the week they can cash the pennies in to do something special....does wonderes for my adhder and for my non adhder...

GREAT POST

Steph

I told my son about this a day ago, he loved the idea, he started behaving good immediately! When I bought the marbles today, he said "I thought in my brain how I can be good for mommy and earn some marbles"...it was so cute. I posted this on another thread, but will share here too. Already today he has been a pleasure to be around. He is asking to help me. He already in 1 day earned 5 marbles for helping me unload hay and sweep the truck bed, and help unload groceries, then tonight at the rodeo, he was the best behaved ever, in all his 7 years of going there. My family and friend could not believe the change in him in the past 2 days. If he did something bad, I would say, "you want to loose 3 marbles for that"? And he would just say no, and behave, no fuss, no muss! He earned 6 marbles for good behavior at the redeo tonight......he's off to a good start, hope it lasts. I know there will be set backs, but I am ready. Also, a week ago I up'ed his fish oils to twice a day (should have been doing that all along, I know) and I ordered FOCUS, it should be in this week. I have a feeling this is all going to work for Dillon. Now, if I could just get the teacher to change some things. Maybe the reward thing in class everyday. She could try it with all her mis-behaved students.

Now I feel I was to blame for alot of his bad behavior. I was focusing too much on the bad and ignoring the good ( I did reward his good, but just verbally, and not as often as I should have) Taking away privledges was not working with him too well. He's always been the one to say "that didn't hurt", or "I have just as fun not watching tv" etc. The defiant part comes out.

I am so glad I found this site, I have learned so much and am more educated and compassionate about my son's behaviors. I don't feel like I have a heavy wieght on me any longer, like I have more things to try for my son. Thanks!

I read this about a week ago and can't wait to start it. Since Carson is only 4 I plan to only have 3-4 ways to earn marbles and 3-4 ways to lose marbles to start with. Also I plan to give more for wanted behaviours than he can lose for unwanted ones. That way he sees more  than . I think it will help him feel more encouraged.  I am also going to let him pick the "thumbs up" marbles but *I* will put in the "thumbs down" ones--another incentive to do the "thumbs up" behaviors. This is a GREAT thing!! Carson's teacher is excited about it too and may find a  way to implement it in class! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

ccrazzdmom.....thanks. I am waiting till this week to see if just what I am doing at home will help Dillon....if it doesn't, then I will talk to the teacher. She is a good, caring teacher and I don't think it will be a problem for her. If it works, she should be happy! LOL He will be easier to deal with.

Day 2 and my child has TRANSFORMED! He is nice, calm, helpful, courteous, listens, wants to please...I can't beleive it. I am just waiting for it to end, it can't be forever, right? He is thinking of ways to earn marbles. He has not lost 1 yet! I only threatened to take some away one time in 2 days, he instantly quit what he was doing. I have not made up the list yet though. We are just winging it for right now. When I notice good behavior, I reward with marbles. I went to the barn to get some stuff out of the freezer and he said to let him help, he ended up WANTING to carry it all! He asked if he could have 1 marble for helping me, how could I refuse... He's a joy to be around now, he even said I have not yelled at him in 2 days and it's so nice I am being nice, I told him I was glad he was being nice, it's great for both of us....he said he was so happy we started doing the marble system......what a cutie!

You all are right!!  I should do this on a disc and sell it.  Maybe an Instructional DVD on it.  I'd sell it if i thought some one would buy it.  I am so glad that it's working as well with you all as it is for us!  It really works.  It can transform your child into a well mannered, well behaved, soon to be adult with all the coping skills and how to stay consistent with tasks that they come across!  I'm glad this has worked for every one!

You all are right!!  I should do this on a disc and sell it.  Maybe an Instructional DVD on it.  I'd sell it if i thought some one would buy it.  I am so glad that it's working as well with you all as it is for us!  It really works.  It can transform your child into a well mannered, well behaved, soon to be adult with all the coping skills and how to stay consistent with tasks that they come across!  I'm glad this has worked for every one!

[/QUOTE]

Ogram you can always write it as a book and have it published, until then should we have this post bumped daily to remain on top?

May I ask....How do you "start" it.  For instance, two empty jars (one "in", one "out").  What if negative behaviors come first...There are no marbles in the "in" jar to take from and put into the "Out" jar?

Do you just use the new bag of marbles and put them in the "out" jar first, then take those to put in the "in" jar when earned??

Thanks,

MamaBear

May I ask....How do you "start" it.  For instance, two empty jars (one "in", one "out").  What if negative behaviors come first...There are no marbles in the "in" jar to take from and put into the "Out" jar?

Do you just use the new bag of marbles and put them in the "out" jar first, then take those to put in the "in" jar when earned??

Thanks,

MamaBear

[/QUOTE]

I start my son out with 15 marbles.  I give him a "starter" by doing that.  When we first started this, I had to literally make up things that he did for rewarding.  Examples: took a bath/shower with out complaining, put shoes on the shoe rack with out me asking, turned lights off.  You know, little things.  With adhd children they need to "SEE" the marbles and get the the big reward fast in the beginning.  After a few times of getting the full jar and getting the reward, they will work harder and more often to get it.  With every negative you give you child, you should reinforce it with 2 or 3 positives.  Even if you have to hunt around for it.

  With every negative you give you child, you should reinforce it with 2 or 3 positives.  Even if you have to hunt around for it.

I'm glad you said that. I was a little confused. My son has been doing AWSOME on this system. Yesterday was day 3 and it was the 1st time he had to take any out. We where at a pool with friends and we said 1 more jump in the pool and we had to stay out and go home. My son jumped in, then walked along the edge and jumped in again. I had warned him not too, so I took 3 marbles away for disobeying me. On our way home I told him if he cleaned his room when we got home, he could have 5 marbles, so he came in, took the 3 out, cleaned his room, and put 5 in. So this morning, day 4, was his 1st day back to school since starting the marble system. I told him he could earn 5 marbles for a smiley today, or take 5 out for a bad face. He said, "that's OK, I'll just earn them back" (smartie pants)! I said oh no, a bad face means you take 5 out and can not earn any more all day (I did not know if that was the right thing to do, but I am desperate for good behavior in school). So I pick him up from my mom's after work, she says Dillon was an ANGEL today! Even in the grocery store, completely well behaved, she bought him something she was so proud! She said give him and extra marble for me, and my aunt was with them and said give him an extra one for her! AND HE GOT A SMILEY IN SCHOOL and it said GOOD DAY! YES YES YES YES! So he got 7 when he got home. I told him do your homework with no complaint and you get 3 marbles, he did well with his letter, his book, his math, but got frustrated with sight words, so I only gave him 1. I'm not too sure what I should be doing, but I have to remember what Ogram said, reinforce  2 or 3 positives to 1 negative. That's hard......it seems like he won't learn that way, but I guess it works! Lets see how tomorrow goes.........

That's the 1st thing I thought when he said that. He's real smart that way. He figures things out quickly. But then again, if I don't give him any more the rest of the day, I am breaking the reward rule, right?

So, if he gets a bad face at school......what should I do, suggestions please????

Tonight, I gave him 2 more for no fuss about getting to bed. He walked in the room and said he should have put more in there........I said oh yeah, do it and you know what happens? ALL the marbles go back in the out jar and you start over.....cheating and lying are NOT ACCEPTED! I think he got it....

SO I should not take all the marbles if he lies? How many?

So what should I do for a bad face at school? I'm still confused....

be creative.  I have my list on paper for him to see.  if he lies, he removes 5 to 10 marbles (depending if he was lying about).  my list changes as he masters skills.  we started out small with more positives on the list than negatives.  After he masters one of the negatives, it moves from the add marbles for good to take away for bad.  Make 2 lists, heck i'll do it for you.  this is just a starter:

Add marbles:

1. turned off light when leaving room  +2
2. cleaned off desk w/out complaining +2
3. put dirty clothes in basket +3
4. used manners all day (yes mam no mam, please and thank you) +5
5. did home work with out complaining +3
6. took a bath and put towel back on rack +1
7. took plate from the table to the sink +2
8. took medicines with out a fight +1
9. brushed teeth w/ out having to remind him +4
10. played with siblings with out fighting + 5

Take away and I do take away the ps2 and tv on some cases:

1. left tooth brush and tooth paste out -2
2. yelled at sibling or friend -4
3. slammed door or stomped feet -5
4. complaining (over any thing) -5
5. showing temper -5
6. throwing some thing -4
7. making fun of others -5

Now, that should get you started.  Be consistent!  with my ds, when he gets to 100 he earns $30.00, and out of that he has to put $10 in his savings account.  But, if he looses ps2 or tv privileges, he can buy back some time.  I have it to where if he wants to play his ps2 he has to take out 10 marbles for one hour.  But you can taylor it to soot your family life style. 

I don't even have to raise my voice, EVER!  I just say, take ... marbles out and he does it, then goes on about his business.

Thanks Ogram for the great system.  We started it yesterday.  We discussed it on our camping trip over Labor day weekend and the kids couldn't wait to start.  They kept asking do I get marbles for that or this?  So far we are having fun with it.  Suprisingly enough my non-ADHD son lost a marble on the first day and my ADHD/ODD son did not.  He loves it

thanks

ang 

Dillon got a bad face today....talking, not folowing instructions, I knew it couldn't last...  He came right home and took the marbles out himself. He does not seem too upset. He says he wishes he was the only one in class so he would not be tempted to talk so much......  I don't know how I am ever going to get him to quit talking in class...any suggestions there?

I'm not going to be too harsh on him, he can still watch TV, but no more earning marbles the rest of today.

 but no more earning marbles the rest of today.

[/QUOTE]

NO NO NO!!  the purpose of the hole marble system is to build stability, self esteem, and consistency.  if he does a task on the "good job" list, he has to be rewarded for it.  I would NEVER not allow him to earn good points/marbles.  you need to keep it consistent.  don't take the privilege away from him.  he will preform better with earning marbles.  And when he gets into trouble he has to know that he has the opportunity to correct his behavior.  do not shut that door when you have a chance for him to feel success!!!  The more you son feels success the more he will crave it!  I've been doing this a long time, and trust me telling him he will not get any marbles the rest of the day is only going to set in more disappointment.  you reward for the good and discourage the bad.  don't punish him the rest of the day for some thing that he cannot fix or re do.  he's adhd, and he is still a child, too.  build his self esteem up and you will see the negative behavior disappear!  He will like the positive attention better than the negative.

OK....I am listening.......I just told DIllon he can earn more marbles today, he said why? I said well, I am still learning this marble system too, so what do you think you could do to earn some marbles......he said he would pick up the whole living room, which he is doing now, enthusiastically I might add, and doing a good job. So I told him he could have 1 for doing a good job at the pool today, and he's getting 5 for cleaning up the living room. Your right, it does make him a happy kid! He does love to please. I have to re-train my way of thinking......I was always punnished for bad behavior with no rewards growing up......now I'm doing it to my child.

Ogram.....I am trying! I will listen to your advise whole heartedly. It really has made a change for the better in Dillon already. My eyes are filling with tears right now watching him clean, he is happy too! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!

eddited to add........he cleaned my room too, he said that's worth 6 marbles right....he's bargaining, I said yes, he did a great job.......is that OK, to let him bargain?

I wanted to add....my way of thinking is, he is going to think he can continue misbehaving in school because he may loose 5 marbles, but he will figure he can just earn them back (which he has already said), so why behave in school? But I guess, by what you say, that is not true. That is my rational adult mind thinking.....like you said, he is ADHD and still a young child, he can't be thinking like me yet...right?  LOL

Your last post put it all into perspective for me......  build his self esteem up and you will see the negative behavior disappear!  He will like the positive attention better than the negative. I get it now! THANKS

Edited to add again...hehe......I am ADHD also, undiagnosed just winging it all these years. His father is worse than me. We are both very successful adults, but have our ADHD problems. I won't go into detail now......but it was said, ADHDers end up as high achieving adults somtimes.....I guess cause our brains never stop!!!!!!!

You did not answer if it is alright for him to bargain? I know I know, every family is different, but like tonight, I walked in and shut off the TV and he knows that's bedtime and usually whines a little. I shut it all off, he smiled at me and came to brush his teeth, and said "do I get 1 marble for not complaining"? I tdoes show he is thinking of ways to be good by himself, and recognising his behavior, so I let him do it......sound right?

He did the best ever on his homework tonight, very happy and focused, even WANTED to do his math cards 1st! Got all his sight words right (and math cards) so he earned 5 marbles for all that! I'm so proud of him.

He got frustrated at himself for not being able to pronounce a word, he gets really angry and half cries......I remained calm, and I taught him how to do deep breathing, in and out slowly, when he gets frustrated like that, then try it again when he calms down. I was proud of myself for not exploding like I usually do. He will remember that technique, I know he will, hopefully, he will use it in class too.

How did the counselor visit go?

[QUOTE=Boopster]I introduced the marble system to my son when he got home today. He was excited about it and already earned three marbles for doing his homework without complaining. He has also started to clean his room. He is excited to get that special reward when he gets to 100 marbles. My daughter wants me to make her a chart, I'm not sure if I should because I know she knows to behave. Any suggestions on this? His counselor still has not got here yet. She should have been here at three.??[/QUOTE]

you will have to taylor it differently for each child.  make it more challenging for her.  Like, ironing, cleaning, chores, cooking, playing with brother, helping with home work and stuff like that.  It's not that hard to add expectations to our children.  I find it funny that growing up I had chores to do and had to earn my allowance.  My parents instilled the value of a dollar and that the good work ethics are what earn the dollar.  Most people learn a good work ethic from their home and it carries and builds into our adulthood. 

My parents had us do chores. But we didn't get an allowance, instead they put money away for us and when something was going on at the school and we wanted to attend it they gave some of the money and let us go.

BTW, my sons counselor never showed up or called me.

I am working on my daughters chore list now.

Dillon got a bad face today....talking, not folowing instructions, I knew it couldn't last...  He came right home and took the marbles out himself. He does not seem too upset. He says he wishes he was the only one in class so he would not be tempted to talk so much......  I don't know how I am ever going to get him to quit talking in class...any suggestions there?

I'm not going to be too harsh on him, he can still watch TV, but no more earning marbles the rest of today.

[/QUOTE]

That is great if you think about it...saw all replies and everyone forgot to meantion here that is is hard enough for him to come home and number one admitt he got the bad face but he took responsibility for his own actions and then became accountable for them by removing them himself!!!   that is wonderfull...he reconized either way mom was going to find out and took it apon himself to take control of the issue by taking the marbles and mom not doing it....he is totally getting this and this here is a major step....my son started to take out his own and was harder on himself then i was....This is such a wonderful sign that he is understanding what is happening and how its happening and how to deal with the good or the bad consquences ...KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!!!

Your right, Thanks, I am so proud of him. He knows when he does something to take them out, no questions. That's what great about this system, they get it quick! He got a smiley today!!!!!!  He is still so pleasant to be around, it's amazing!

I have told so many people about it. My one friend a YELLER, has a 7 year old spoiled brat whiney daughter, not ADHD, just spoiled. Her mother is CONSTANLY yealling and screaming, it's awful! She has listened to Dillon's progress every day and decided to try it with her daughter this morning. I explained it to her daughter last night. Well, don't you know, she earned 30 marbles just today, and my friend was only giving 1 for this and 1 for that. The child is looking for things to do to earn marbles, my friend has not raised her voice all day, once she said would you like to loose 3 marbles, and the child said no, and quit what she was doing. She did all her homework happily tonight (that NEVER happens) ate all her dinner, no complaints.....my friend can not get over the change in her, she is estatic! This is great. I just printed out the system for a client of mine that is a pre-school teacher, she is going to pass it around too.......she thinks it's a wonderful idea.

[QUOTE=ogram]Yep, you have it now!  lol  It took me a few months to get the system fine tuned.  Each child has different ways it will work for them.  The biggest thing I have achieved is knowing that my son will have a healthy self esteem.  I started it by chance.  We used to walk on the rail road tracks before he was school age.  We did it for "fun" well, we found 2 lime stone rocks that had been honed into marbles by the trains running next to them.  He wanted to keep them, and i told him if he didn't get into trouble for 2 hole days, he could.  And, that was the way it started!  He did it.  Of course, he worked at it for a few days.  But, it gave me the idea.  It really does work.  Now, i have 2 jars with the flat marbles that match my living room colors.  lol  what a long way we have come.[/QUOTE]

Ogram,

I think you have changed a lot of parents lives. I'm so glad you saw those lime stone rocks!!! Great minds think alike because there have been teachers using this system since the 1970's and possibly before. As far as I know you are the first to have used this marble reward system in the home.

Teacher's out there. This system will work for your classroom too!

Here is the originator of the class room reward system using marbles in a jar.

http://campus.dyc.edu/~drwaltz/FoundLearnTheory/FLT_readings /Canter.htm

Here are a couple links for how schools have put this in place:

http://maxweber.hunter.cuny.edu/cgi-bin/eres/bbreadreply.pl? EDSPC715_MCINTYRE!746!3!4

 http://web.ics.purdue.edu/~astapp/ClassroomRules.html

Auntie....I'm glad you posted that, I was just going to ask if I could ask his teacher could do this in class.......He is good at home now, still HYPER, but good, listening, not complaining or arguing. But at school, like today, she did not even fill out the face?????? And then it says......"we are CONSTANTLY (underlined 3 times) haing to discuss behavior/choices with Dillon.       I don't understand why he can not behave in school. And I think this teacher might be a little too strict on a 7 year old, I don't know. I'm still frustrated. His FOCUS came in, he got some this morning before school and tonight, hopefully this will help.

Do I have to talk with the principal or teacher about the reward sytem in class?

Orgam;

We took your Marble Idea (Thank you!) tweaked a few areas to better fit out household and implemented it for my 10 year old son.  I have done consequence/reward systems in the past but we've always given up when the novelty went away.  Since the ADHD dx I was bound and determined to implement a new system and stick to it this time.  The first week we made it easy.  The reward was 100 marbles = $30.  I was diggin in my pocket on day 4.  The second week we made it a bit harder, we took off some easier items and added areas to work on.  On day 6 of the second week we were paying out another $30.  Week three we lowered the marble value on the every day items that he was doing pretty well, added 1 or 2 areas to work on which included having to "buy" computer time during school days, and he is still working on his reward.  It's been a week and a half, and he's okay with that.  So, in one month we got rid of the bathroom talk, spitting, and name calling.  With a simple reminder he is showering, brushing his teeth, and going to bed without a fit.

Between the marble system, counseling, medication, an IEP, Neurofeedback, and both my husband and I being on the same page with our parenting, we are making some nice progress with him.  Thank you for sharing your idea.  We appreciate it.

  Hi,

       I am brand new to this and your message is one of the first I read. I have to say I absolutely LOVE the idea. I 'll admit that I used to believe that not everything deserved an award. That I have to teach my children that being part of this family some things are necessary, as helping in the home. I'll admit that I have gotten more by using systems like yours and I am going to try yours. I am a single mom of two young boys and one on the way and I have experienced first hand what happens to MANY young boys and men who are not taught resposiblitly to take care of things because that is life and what is needed to succeed. Now I realize that my oldest with ADHD has more hurdles and this idea can lead to much smoother sailing, how do you think to balance it all? Teach them it all AND have a calm home!

OK, i don't usually promote or endorse products, but i have found some thing just as good, if not better.  Its a computer program called EasyChild.  IT'S FANTASTIC!!!!!!  There will be an article about it in the ADHDNews monthly news letter.  I've found it even better than what i've been doing.  You all might want to try it.  If not, it's very close to the little system i have, but enhanced.  You can tailor it to your needs in the home and so easy to use, my 8 year old can use it.  You can print out the chart for your children to check off the tasks.  It's great! 

check it out, i'm using it now.  it has a token reward and allowance award system that works just like i have, but better than i could ever do!     http://www.easychild.com/

YES MAM!  it's set up to work for all age groups all you have to do is add the task.  you can add, remove or edit tasks.  you can add/change/create allowance amount per task.  I'm telling you all that this is the best i've seen!  I love it!  I think it is best for every age.  it's got the point system and the $$ system.  you can do it all in less than 30 minutes to set up and about 5 minutes to enter the info into the puter after you use it.  you can print out the charts and just check off what they do, then enter it.  you can even print out a report that will show a pattern in behavior (great for teen agers, especially girls lol).  You will love it!

it's so easy to keep track of and i dont have to count marbles, i just count check marks at the end of the week.

Looks great! Seems alot like the marble system....just enhanced a little.

I asked Dillon teacher to do a reward system in class for him and she agreed to make a personal program for him and let me know daily how it went.

my son's teacher has worked with me too. 

Ogram,

When you take away privileges like PS/2 and TV, are you also removing marbles at that point?  What privileges do they have to "buy"  with marbles?  How old is your son who earns $30 at 100 marbles?  I am thinking that might be too much $ for my very $ motivated almost 7 year old.

We used a token system for our ADHD DS (6) and DS (4) and it was a little hard to manage.  We never got to the taking away part.  They could earn tokens and either buy stuff from the goody box or privileges.  I just had a hard time staying on top of it.  Maybe we made it too complicated.  It was hard when they both wanted to play video games but only one had enough to buy the privilege.  The 4 year old did not understand that concept.

I saw your sample list of do's and don'ts but do you have a list of rewards they can earn and marble values.  Just curious.

Thanks for all your posts.  Reading these will help me get motivated to set up this system.

bump (cuz I had a hard time finding it!) 

Just wanted to let everyone know how our first week of the marble system went.

It only took a week for the boys to earn 100 marbles (think I may go broke ) which is OK with me if it keeps Erik in school this year.

Last year I got a call from school 2-3 times a week and I can't even count how many suspensions he had.  He told me he was not going to get sent home at all this year-no way!!!! because he wants those marbles.  He said even if he is sick he won't go home-had to talk about that one.

Anyway thanks again for the idea

ang

I tried this with my children (I have five -- couldn't remember to take the Pill :) when they were young, except I  used points posted on the fridge rather than marbles. The kids were rewarded at the end of the week according to the number of points they earned, with the one with the most points getting something special. I thought it was a fine idea, but the son who earned the most points always lost them all by going on a rampage and cussing me out. I never had him tested for ADHD and he was never treated, but I think he does have it. Aside from a quick temper he turned out very functional with a nice family. The marble idea sounds good, though. Since realizing I am ADHD, I'm trying new techniques to manage my life. Maybe I'll use it on myself.

I started this and it is a “hands on” discipline program that most ADHD kids will respond to.  ADHD kids need to participate in their discipline.  They do well if they are able to have hands on and participate in.  If they can see it, they will respond to it.  This is what I do.  I keep a log, but he is the one to add and remove the marbles.  I am also ADHD, so this system works for me to keep consistency in our home.

Marble System:

I have two "PLASTIC" containers.  I have "in" on one and "out" on the other.  I have a List of all the good things that he is supposed to to, like chores and reading books, homework with out a complaint and working on left over worksheets his teacher gave us, and I add to it when I think about new tasks he should be working on.  Each one has a value.  The most value is 10 marbles for reading a book.  Cleaning his room is 3 marbles and keeping it clean is 5.  I have every thing from brushing his teeth, to picking up any trash that might be in the yard, to picking up sticks, to helping me pull weeds.  After he gets 100 marbles he gets $30.00 and he has to put $10 of it in his savings.  Now, if he does something wrong he has to take out marbles.  If he gets sassy or talks back, he takes out 3.  If he argues he takes out 5.  To keep track of what goes in and out, he has to write it on the paper.  That way he cannot put more marbles in there than he should.  I have not had to argue, raise my voice, spank, or even tell him more than 2 times to do something.  I will remind him ONE time for a warning and then he has to take marbles out.  We are doing this instead of an allowance.  If he reads 10 books in a row he will get his money and we start all over.  But, I don't think he has figured that out yet.  lol  At the end of each day, if he doesn't have to take any out all day, I let him put 3 in to reward him for good behavior.  This has been the best system for my son, yet.  I don't have to raise my voice and it's much easer to keep consistency when I don't have to raise my voice or put him in time out all the time.  This way he can see his progress, and he takes great pride in counting all the marbles he collects.  After he has mastered a skill, it moves off the list, and we add a new one. 

As I have been told.....you can take marbles away, but be sure and let them earn some back. The whole point to this is REWARD...ADHD children respond better to praise than punishment. It seems strange, kinda like you are not punishing at all, but it works! And works well. Dillon is almost an angel now! LOL

Hey Ogram.....I'm getting good at this huh?    hehe

Marbles In

Turned light out when leaving room               2

Put toys away/cleaned room                          2

Washed hands before eating                          2

Put plate in sink                                             2

Took bath with out complaining           3

Ate all vegetables                                            3

Did home work with out complaining              4

Fed dog                                                            2

Put dirty clothes into hamper                            4

Extras on bad days

Brushed teeth with out complaining 2

Shared toys with siblings 1

Picked up trach out of yard 1

Marbles Out

Left light on                                                      3

Did not do home work                                     4

Lied                                                                    5

Left a mess in the bathroom                              3

Argued with adults                                           5

Thanks Ogram!

I've been working with this but have had a hard time setting up the "rules" for myself which, in turn, made it harder for my kids to follow. 

Thanks Ogram!

I've been working with this but have had a hard time setting up the "rules" for myself which, in turn, made it harder for my kids to follow. 

[/QUOTE]

I know, at first i see a lot of people having a hard time.  I think because with ADHD children every thing seems to be so hard and this is easy.  We are accustomed to having to work so hard, we want don't realize how easy it really is for the marbles to work.  see, saying it is even hard.

I have not yelled in 4 weeks.......Me and Dillon are much calmer.

I only joined this board the end of August and I was ready to strangle my child (just kidding) I was at my witts end, I almost hated him most of the time. Now, in sucha  short period, he and I are changed so dramatically I can't even believe it's true. I have learned so much here and I thank you all. I'm sure we will still have plenty of bad days, this can't last forever, but it will never be as bad as before.

I almost feel like I don't need to come to this board any longer, all I do is post praises for Dillon..............

And the more time that goes by, the more you will find out what and why it is working.  You will see a "trigger" point.  Then you will be able to tell others what and why it works and how to fine tune it for your child/children.  It's really a neat way to run your house.  I have to brag.  we just finished our first 6 weeks of school.  my son did not get into any trouble at all!!!  the marbles work. 

what made the changes is most likely the way your son can participate in the discipline.  He can see and feel the reward as well as the punishments.  you have a consistent set of limits and he knows ahead of time that you will not budge.  and the limits are consistent.  He knows what to count on.  He is getting praised EVERY DAY!  He needs praises.  for every negative, you are giving him at least 2 positives.  you are giving him what most parents don't think about, a positive self esteem.  He is getting a since of responsibility and learning good work ethics and a since of responsibility and how old is he???  that is the beauty of it!  Your son is learning the things that many other children are not learning until they are in high school, and he will be way ahead of the game when he his an adult for that!

You all are so encouraging. You don't know the joy I feel every day now. Just the part of understanding my child and what he has been going through was a HUGE relief for me. All this time I thought he was just a bad kid, why me, blah blah.......now I know he is a great kid and he amazes me everyday. I KNOW he will be something one day, he will make us proud.

I finally came out to my husband tonight and told him I thought he (my husband) was ADHD.......he totally suprised me with his answer, he said "yes, I definatley am, I have always been very hyper and could never focus, etc" he sat there and explained all his symptoms to me and all this time I thought he never knew he was. I said to him "but you are HIGHLY ADHD" and he said yes, he knows....LOL I told him I am mild and it'sno wonder Dillon turned out like this, he had no choice, he agreed. That was a breakthough......

Go and check out my blog.  You will find my on going research on adhd and how you can better assist you child with different areas in his life.  I'm going to be adding to it on a weekly basis.  I'm hoping to have it like a mini-book lol

http://www.adhdnews.com/blog/

Thank you for sharing that plan. Sounds really great and I will surely give it a try with my 8 year old.

I know also here at his school they have this plan that I really like. They use the traffic lights, red, orange and green. Everyday at the end of the day she will rate their chores with the lights. Red means not cooperative, orange means in between and green means he did great. Everyday he has to bring it home for me to sign it and it shows me what type of day he had. They have been doing this at the school since he was in kindergarden and its been really successful. So much that my 8 year old even has one that he uses on himself and me too  Too cute.

Again thanks for sharing that!!

Tracy

Here new stepmom...here's a list that ogram posted a few pages back.  As for the "worried about swallowing the marbles" thing, maybe you can use stickers instead?  I know my 6 yr old has always loved to have a paper on the wall with stickers that she can get for good behaviors.  The trick to that for us was hiding the stickers so she couldn't add them on her own.    Good luck!!!

[QUOTE=ogram]

be creative.  I have my list on paper for him to see.  if he lies, he removes 5 to 10 marbles (depending if he was lying about).  my list changes as he masters skills.  we started out small with more positives on the list than negatives.  After he masters one of the negatives, it moves from the add marbles for good to take away for bad.  Make 2 lists, heck i'll do it for you.  this is just a starter:

Add marbles:

1. turned off light when leaving room  +2
2. cleaned off desk w/out complaining +2
3. put dirty clothes in basket +3
4. used manners all day (yes mam no mam, please and thank you) +5
5. did home work with out complaining +3
6. took a bath and put towel back on rack +1
7. took plate from the table to the sink +2
8. took medicines with out a fight +1
9. brushed teeth w/ out having to remind him +4
10. played with siblings with out fighting + 5

Take away and I do take away the ps2 and tv on some cases:

1. left tooth brush and tooth paste out -2
2. yelled at sibling or friend -4
3. slammed door or stomped feet -5
4. complaining (over any thing) -5
5. showing temper -5
6. throwing some thing -4
7. making fun of others -5

Now, that should get you started.  Be consistent!  with my ds, when he gets to 100 he earns $30.00, and out of that he has to put $10 in his savings account.  But, if he looses ps2 or tv privileges, he can buy back some time.  I have it to where if he wants to play his ps2 he has to take out 10 marbles for one hour.  But you can taylor it to soot your family life style. 

I don't even have to raise my voice, EVER!  I just say, take ... marbles out and he does it, then goes on about his business.

Seeing and hearing how helpful it is in your homes and how much peace it has brought you and your families makes it all worth while!!!!  And now that your home is peaceful, you can enjoy your children, again!  lol

did i mention how much i love this place???

I started the marbles system about four days ago with my son. At first he didn't see very enthusiastic when I was explaining him the rules (typical of an adhder). As soon as I started pointing out posiyive behavior and adding marbles to the jar he is so in it that he even reminds me when I have to add more marbles.  It is funny, but one of the rules is to answer back people's greetings (which he never did before, he is somewhat shy), now it is incredible to see how he tries to manipulate people to greet so he can answer back.

Well, I think that this is really going to work out for his opposition problem.

Thanks a lot!!!!

Does anyone have kids that delayed gratification isn't very motivating?  We've only been looking into ADHD for our daughter a few weeks, but as I look back, I think if she really does have it, that's probably why ALL of our attempted discipline or behavior management systems have never worked.  I've tried several different methods of marble jars, sticker charts, velcro picture systems, etc. (I work with children with Autism at school - I figured if it worked for them it could work for her.  nope).  As I read these posts I realized a couple flaws:

1.  DD doesn't do well with delayed gratification.  If she doesn't earn it in a couple days, she's no longer interested, stops working at it, and consequentially never earns it.

2. The complicated ones were to much work or too time consuming to keep up.  Reading about all the point values for this or that is overwhelming to me!  Several of the systems we tried didn't work because I was the one who didn't follow through.

3.  If it's not a big reward, it's not highly motivating to work for.  Unfortunately, my husband is a stay-at-home-dad, so we don't always have the finances for much more than a couple dollars here or there. 

Our new plan - we picked ONE behavior (night-time routine) and are rewarding the two older kids (DD-8, DS-5) with an inexpensive treat (movie night, ice cream, game night or something) at the end of the week if 4/5 nights are completed nicely.

We'll keep plugging away! 

well, the purpose of the system is to build up to an acceptable level of behavior.  In the beginning, you will have to give you daughter extras.  look for reasons to find things for her to add marbles.  like if she says thank you.  or if she turns the light off, or if she flushes the toilet or if she washes her hands, or if she brushes her hair.  I know that sounds petty, but you have to do that for her to get the reward quickly the first few times, then after she gets the gist of it, she will strive to do her very best!  then she will want to do every thing to earn her reward.

Remember for every negative, give 2 positives and you will do fine.  consistency is the key.  And if your daughter is ADHD you have to be consistent!  I'm adhd, trust me, you have to be consistent.  And i know how hard it is!  I'm here for you!

Using the marble system has taught me to be a more consistant parent.

The positive reward system has reduced the conflict in our home dramatically and has allowed my daughter and I to get back a close relationship. This year the school is using a ticket system, so there is some consistancy there as well.

Now, if only I can figure out how many marbles my husband should get for doing homework with the kids.  

Now, if only I can figure out how many marbles my husband should get for doing homework with the kids.  

[/QUOTE]

Man, wouldn't that be nice!!!

created it over a year ago, still works, no behavior problems any where (school or home), no yelling no problems!  Love it don't know how we lived with out it!!!

be creative.  I have my list on paper for him to see.  if he lies, he removes 5 to 10 marbles (depending if he was lying about).  my list changes as he masters skills.  we started out small with more positives on the list than negatives.  After he masters one of the negatives, it moves from the add marbles for good to take away for bad.  Make 2 lists, heck i'll do it for you.  this is just a starter:

Add marbles:

1. turned off light when leaving room  +2
2. cleaned off desk w/out complaining +2
3. put dirty clothes in basket +3
4. used manners all day (yes mam no mam, please and thank you) +5
5. did home work with out complaining +3
6. took a bath and put towel back on rack +1
7. took plate from the table to the sink +2
8. took medicines with out a fight +1
9. brushed teeth w/ out having to remind him +4
10. played with siblings with out fighting + 5

Take away and I do take away the ps2 and tv on some cases:

1. left tooth brush and tooth paste out -2
2. yelled at sibling or friend -4
3. slammed door or stomped feet -5
4. complaining (over any thing) -5
5. showing temper -5
6. throwing some thing -4
7. making fun of others -5

Now, that should get you started.  Be consistent!  with my ds, when he gets to 100 he earns $30.00, and out of that he has to put $10 in his savings account.  But, if he looses ps2 or tv privileges, he can buy back some time.  I have it to where if he wants to play his ps2 he has to take out 10 marbles for one hour.  But you can taylor it to soot your family life style. 

I don't even have to raise my voice, EVER!  I just say, take ... marbles out and he does it, then goes on about his business.

[/QUOTE]

Here's a post that ogram did awhile ago. 

When you explain the behaviors, you might want to use positive language.
"Go to bed on time/Stay in bed" rather than "bed without problems". I found that if I am explicite on the description of the positive behavior, my daughter has a better time modeling that behavior. If after a "honeymoon" period, you child gets mad and wants to quit, genly keep going. They sometimes have problems when held responsible for thier behaviors. This will pass. The best thing this did for me was make me a more consistant parent.

Good luck.

this is a great idea i may just try to adapt it for my 14yr old maybe loose the marbles and go straight to cash rewards

thanx

OMG THIS POST SAVED MY SANITY!!! I am a 1st time foster parent of a ADHD/DD DS. I was ready to call my social worker today and tell her that I can just not do this anymore. My DFS can be he sweetest boy in the world at times. My day started with him coming in to my room 10 minutes before the alarm goes off, a really bad habit he has. I said it was not time to get up but he could start to get dressed. He slapped me, his answer for everything. We were taking an object of his for 3 days for every slap/hit/kick.  But not reinforcing the good behaviors. That was not working so I am going to try the marbles starting today. I am figuring 1 marble is worth .01. And will adjust it from there. I could just cry that I found this thread.

I do have one ? of Dillon's mom you said something about fish oil, what is that?

I am at a lost when it comes to ADHD, my DH is ADD undx, of course. So any suggestions on diet, supplements, etc would be wonderful.

Thanks again for this thread. I will keep you posted.

Hi Country,

Look into the omega thread under alternatives for information on the fish oils.

DO YOU ALL MIND IF I TAKE THE STICKY OFF THIS THREAD NOW?  SO IT WILL NOT BE AT THE TOP ANY MORE? 

FEED BACK PLEASE????

I have been reading through this thread. Have not gotten through all the many pages, LOL. Thought I would ask a question and help keep it at the top. ;)

Anyone have a child who would just refuse to use this method? My daughter is 8yrs old and I can see if working for a day or two but then she would decide she doesn't want to do it any more. (we have tried something along the same lines a few years ago).  She would also constantly say she doesn't care if she loses anything.

First thing I would do is sit her down and the two of you go over what you expect out of her.  But make it be a discussion.  Let her feel like part of the decision making process.  Let her feel like she has a role in the rule making.  Give her options in the discipline.  Most adhd children have to have "hands on" discipline.  Time outs don't work well because they cannot sit still for too long at this age.  Find what works for her.  And that might take a while.  The key is not to give up if some thing you try doesn't work.  Try having her write sentences or cleaning her room.  Along with marble removals.  Keep the consistency!  That is the key!  If you are not consistent it will not work!  If you do it for a few months and you are consistent, you will find you home is no longer a place of tension and your daughter will be happy to help around the house and will not argue to do home work and you will see improvements in behavior in school and home!  And remember for every negative behavior you have to give her two positives to build up her self esteem!  The self esteem is the most important part of this!  Good luck and keep us posted on how it is going. And if you have any questions, ask away!!!

RE: Every child has some kinda of currency, for you child it might not be earning money but something else just as important to work towards. 

Ahh... that just may work. Thank you.

RE: Let her feel like part of the decision making process.

Will do. May help. She is pretty obstinate though.

RE: If you do it for a few months and you are consistent, you will find you home is no longer a place of tension and your daughter will be happy to help around the house

Can't hurt to try. That would be really nice. I guess I am just battle weary so being a bit pessimistic.

I have started the marble system today after the kids come home from school. i took them to the shops and we bought the containers and the marbles. so far it seems to be working. i feel its going to be a little harder for my 4 yr old, but ill take the little wins as well as the big wins.

At the moment my 7yr old is cleaning his room madly cos i told him he could have 3 marbles if he cleaned it up, the deal was there for the 4yr old too and they were both excited but when it came down to it the 4yr old decided that he didnt want to clean up. but i think that when he realises that his brother is getting marbles and hes not then i think he will start to come around.

At the moment i will take anything to bring the peace back to my home. it is getting that way that their dad would rather be else where as he cant cope with it all. and i must admit i have wanted to run away a few times. so i really hope this is going to help.

Oh and just as a point of fact they have found that ADHD kids react with florecent lights so they suggest to get the kids to wear baseball caps when going shopping.

Angel 

Angel 

[/QUOTE]

What about while in school?  Good luck with the marble system Angel don't give up it takes some twinking to get it to suit your family.

Update on how it is working with us:

the school works the same way so his teachers punish for the same things as I do.  we are going on 7 weeks with NO problems at school!!!!  NO check marks (they use check marks)!!!  NONE in 7 weeks!  It works very well! 

My next task for him is interrupting.  he does it too much.

Country, i thought about that yesturday, so i asked the school if i would be ok to to let my son wear his hat inside, so they are also going help by rminding him to put it on.

I must admit its been a little tough this morning, the kids seem to want the marbles without completing what they have to do. i have also found myself telling them to do what it is they have to do or they wont get a marble, so thats something i have to change in myself. but we will get there.

Angel

I must admit its been a little tough this morning, the kids seem to want the marbles without completing what they have to do. i have also found myself telling them to do what it is they have to do or they wont get a marble, so thats something i have to change in myself. but we will get there.

Angel

[/QUOTE]

lmao!!!  I know what you mean.  You might think about the program EasyChild.  You can print out a worksheet that has the list of daily tasks and that will make it easier for you (that's what I do).  Then, after a few weeks, It will be like second nature.  It only takes 21 days to form a good habit.  That's not long at all!  I'm so glad you posted that about the mornings.  Some times I would feel so guilty just saying, do it or take a marble out as a form of bribing him.

i know where supposed to be positive woth them but in can be so hard. im glad im not the only one that has said if you dont do it i will tka e a marrble away lol.

Although i did take one off my youngest last night, he broke a door, it was funny he came out (cos i called him) and you could see the fear, he was wondering what i was going to do. hes 4 and he evne asked if ha was going to get a smack, but i spoke to him quietly and firmly, and made him unerstand what he did was wrong then i made him take out a marble, well you should have seem the drop in the lip and look on the face. i think it took all his strength not to burst into tears, he was then fixated on getting back the one that he had lost. it was actually funny, not that i laughed (infront of them anyway) lol

Anyway gotta go, am trying to beat this damn migraine that just wont go away.

see ya

Angel

 it was actually funny, not that i laughed (infront of them anyway) lol

[/QUOTE]

Man, we have many many of those times!!!  hope you feel better!

try this:

Ok, I see where this incentive program could really work for me and my 3 young children, but my ADD brain needs some things cleared up lol

1) When you have things on the list such as "keeping your room clean" how often can these points be earned? Example:  My 2.5 year old DD has this NASTY fleece fringe blanket that she carries around and sucks on the "fringies" for comfort (much like a pacifier).  I originally made one crib size one and more recently made smaller ones b/c carrying around a 2 layered fleece blanket seemed a bit ridiculous in the summer. She insists on carrying around the huge one and it just drags the floor and gets flithy.  I want her to leave it in her bed all day long.  She's free to go upstairs and get a fix whenever she pleases, but it HAS to stay in her bed.  I want to put this on her chart as a "do" (leave the "kiki" in your bed... +2.  Taking the "kiki" out of your bed -2) At what intervals during the day shall this be praised? Once a day... twice... everytime I walk by her bed and see that it's still there?  I mean it's quite simple to see when it's NOT in the bed lol But how often shall I praise her for it remaining in the bed? 

I think that's where the confusion lies and that's going to be the hard part for me. Thanks for reading my ramble.

Ok, I see where this incentive program could really work for me and my 3 young children, but my ADD brain needs some things cleared up lol

1) When you have things on the list such as "keeping your room clean" how often can these points be earned? Example:  My 2.5 year old DD has this NASTY fleece fringe blanket that she carries around and sucks on the "fringies" for comfort (much like a pacifier).  I originally made one crib size one and more recently made smaller ones b/c carrying around a 2 layered fleece blanket seemed a bit ridiculous in the summer. She insists on carrying around the huge one and it just drags the floor and gets flithy.  I want her to leave it in her bed all day long.  She's free to go upstairs and get a fix whenever she pleases, but it HAS to stay in her bed.  I want to put this on her chart as a "do" (leave the "kiki" in your bed... +2.  Taking the "kiki" out of your bed -2) At what intervals during the day shall this be praised? Once a day... twice... everytime I walk by her bed and see that it's still there?  I mean it's quite simple to see when it's NOT in the bed lol But how often shall I praise her for it remaining in the bed? 

I think that's where the confusion lies and that's going to be the hard part for me. Thanks for reading my ramble.

[/QUOTE]

very good question!  My first response was every time, take away.  But with her age, i'd really have to think give her a block of time.  like reason the time frame, an hour and a half in the morning and the evening.  maybe the times before she goes down for naps or bed time.  then work her down from there.  then after that, make it 50 minutes then after a week, make it 45, then a week later 30 then a week later 20 then down to 15 then down to 10, and so on.  Try that and see how it works.

PLEASE TELL ME IT GETS BETTER

We were going great, today being day 2, after school they were great although we had incidence where the boys both lost 3 marbles each and had to spent time in their room instead of being outside. (it was a bad thing) but after their dad came home it seems like they were constantly losing marbles, i tried so hard to find things to praise them for. 

i had also told them to clean their room and they would get 3 marbles each and ice cream for desert, but of course the boys didnt so my daughter their dad and i had desert and the boys didnt, i put one to bed and the other was sitting up waiting for the little one to go to sleep. he got so upset when he didnt get any ice cream, it just about broke my heart. i so want this to work, but i wish it would hurry up. i would have helped the boys with their room if i didnt have a migriane, i could have used it like a barter system, such as if i help them with their room they only get 2 marbles instead of 3.

i was so proud of the kids but then it all went pair shaped. i have really found it so hard not to yell tonight. and their dad dont help, he came home and the boys were playing in their room, you could here them but they werent loud, and he was complaining, that they were carrying on. they werent of course, but then we ended up in anarguement, which didnt help the head. he expects them to sit down shut up and dont move. normal kids (for want of a better word) dont even do that so how the hell does he expect these guys to do it, (sorry just really peeved) my eldest son read 2 books today in his reading group and got a reward, he was so excited when he come home, and i was so proud, and gave him a heap of praise and 2 marbles for it. when he tried to tell his dad he couldnt even look at him and didnt praise him one bit. 

i really do think the kids are feeding off his negativity, which would explain y they started playing up after he come home. i know its horrible but i think maybe they would cope better if he wasnt here.

anyway better go, if i say too much more ill end up in tears.

Angel 

We started this today, you should have seen my son stop in his tracks.  He wound up to have a trantrum about having to get off the computer, DH and I said "Marbles!" LOL!! He almost did a double take and we didn't have any more problems for the rest of the day.  I am very hopeful about this!

Ok, this is our version of the marble system.  With little kids around all the time, I didn't feel marbles were a good idea, so we chose tickets that Chasesmom had left over. I took pictures of the kids doing the things that we are going to work on and taped them to the side of the fridge. (My children are 2.5, 4 and 6.) Then I put the tickets that will be earned when each task is completed right on that picture.  On the "take away" ones I tore them in half and taped them up a little underneath the picture. The kids had fun making the list, and posing for the pictures, and in doing so, they KNOW what I expect of them!

Ok, this is our version of the marble system.  With little kids around all the time, I didn't feel marbles were a good idea, so we chose tickets that Chasesmom had left over. I took pictures of the kids doing the things that we are going to work on and taped them to the side of the fridge. (My children are 2.5, 4 and 6.) Then I put the tickets that will be earned when each task is completed right on that picture.  On the "take away" ones I tore them in half and taped them up a little underneath the picture. The kids had fun making the list, and posing for the pictures, and in doing so, the KNOW what I expect of them!

[/QUOTE]

That is a FANTASTIC IDEA!!!!!!  Good going.  that will work great for the younger children!  keep me posted on how it works.  i'll bet they catch on really fast!

Thank you for the compliment!

My children are not ADHD (I am), but I figured that it would help me be consistant with everyone's discipline and it also stands as a job chart, along with potty training my "baby". Sitting on the potty +1, putting something in the potty +2, pooping your pullup -2.  Tonight she messed her pullup right after sitting on the potty.  I let her hold the one ticket that I paid her for sitting while still sitting on the toilet and waved another one as she sat saying "make it go SPLASH and I'll give you this one!", but to no avail, she messed anyhow :(. I made her pay me 2 tickets for making me change her.  She smiled willingly as she handed me my compensation.  So, I think it's going to take a little time with that one lol....

What types of chores would you put for an 8 year old?

This marble system sounds great and I'm going to start it today.

Michele

well we have been using the marble system for about a week, i think. lol

Anyway, we are getting there, 1 kid has their first reward, the other arent too far behind, but everytime they just about get there they do something to lose a marble

people down the streets think im nuts, im either bribing the kids saying if they do what i want them to do theyll get a marble. or im giving a warning that they will lose a marble if they do it again, or that they have lost one lol

but it seems to be working slowly, well most of the time.

Anyway better get goin. got to put kiddies to bed.

Angel

people down the streets think im nuts, im either bribing the kids saying if they do what i want them to do theyll get a marble.

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nah.... not "nuts".... you just don't want your kids to lose their MARBLES! LMAO

it seems to be working for us... and ppl already know i'm nuts!

The other half always reponds when i tell the kids they have lost a marble, that i lost all my marbles years ago. lol

i know im nuts, i just like people to think im sane

Angel

LOL i hope it keeps working! 

we just had a break through moment.  My 6 year old dd and 4 year old son had a scuffle.  she pulled his hair.  she told me right away and then she went into the kitchen. i asked what she was doing and she came in my office and told me that she had removed 2 tickets from her jar for fighting with her brother.  i told her that i was very proud of her and appreciated her honesty, BUT we are not taking tickets away until tomorrow.  she put the tickets back in her jar.... i almost cried!  I was like "YES! they get it!"

Thats fantastic, nothing like the feeling when you realise that something you have put a lot of effort into for them is finally paying off.

I too had a great morning with the kids, the boys have finally reached enough marbles to get their reward, so we are going to get it after school today. yay.

with my 4 yr old he forgets to get up at night to go to the toilet, so he gets a marble in the morning if he doesnt wet the bed. he hasnt wet the bed since we started the marble system, and now he comes in in the morning to tell me he didnt wet the bed and now he gets a marble. it is so cute.

im on such a high today (and no i didnt pinch one of the kids tablets lol) we have finally discovered a way to help my 7 yr old son who is near,y in grade 2 and still cannot read and write. we have discovered that he is what they call a 'true right brained child' the best part is is that they are not stupid or have learning problems, the just view the world in a different way and they learn differently, so we are now teaching him how read by sight instead of the phonics system. he is already so much happyer, and i can see such a change in him, and that is after 1 day, can you imagine what hes going to be like when he realises he can read.

i am going to do a new post on it as they have discovered that most kids with add or adhd are more dominantly right brianed. so this may be  a positive way to helping the kids find a balance.

Angel

this is great!!!!  i'm good for some thing!  finally!

 ..... and thanks!

I can really see how this marble system is going to work in our family.  A couple of questions though.  My son raced to 100 marbles (his target) in three days.  Now we are doing the rewards weekly, I just can't afford to go and get them every couple of days. And it's the positives of the system that he responded so well to.  So we've kind of hit a speed bump.  How do you keep reinforcing the positives after they've hit their target?  Where on Monday I was telling him, go and put the bowl in the sink and you get one marble, now it's put the bowl in teh sink or else you lose one marble, and he's not responding NEARLY as well to that.  I want to use this system mainly to reinforce positives and to teach that really BAD behaviour gets marbles taken away, any suggestions?  He did a lot of good stuff really fast to get there so quick, read books, cleaned his rooms, even asked for extra pages of maths!!  Next week we are changing the tasks, ie picking up the bathroom towel will get him one marble, wearing his watch and reading the time correctly one marble, etc.

But I know he will race to it again and I will sit with the same problem for 4 days out of 7.  Any suggestions?

what about changing and get him to see how many marbles in a week, and the next week get him to see if he can beat his record. if you tell him he has to have a min of 100 marbles (or what ever number) then he gets his reward, if he betters the record, then he gets something extra, like maybe trying some sort of home experiment. we just did a soda volcaino but adding mentos to diet coke. its cheap and they love it. and of course each week it gets harder and harder as the have to better their record each week.

i hope this helps and if my lot keep goin the way their goin im gunna have to do the same thing soon. lol

Angel

Good idea and there's education built into it. I like that. I thought of the beating the record but that doesn't seem to be enough motivation on its own

Adding mentos to diet coke .... mmm!! I also want to see what happens!! so we will see next week.

Thanks Angel!

I_am_Pauls_mom, Did you sit down and ask him what might  work for him? Remember this all started because Ogram's son really wanted them marble like rocks. Our DS was doing the marbles but not anymore then needed to be done. So yesterday we sat down the 2 of us and came up with a new list of things to work on and the marble value. I was surprised when he said the "K-Word" is really bad that should be worth losing 5 marbles each time. The K word is kill, he is forever saying he is going to kill something or someone home and at school.  If he goes all day with out saying it he get 21 marbles.  I know an odd number but that is the one he picked. Then we all 3 signed the bottom like a contract. DS thought it was wonderful that he made a decision and we agreed to what he wanted. Last night he actually feed the dogs and fish.  Which were on the old list but he never wanted to do it. But now that he decided it is worth 10 marbles a time he was johnny on the spot to get it done.

Gutsy have you thought about going to a dollar store and buying a few things for a treasure chest. When he reached the goal he can pick from there. Then keep a look out for more items in the bargain bins to keep it full.  Kids do not care if they get Easter items after Easter is over.

That dollar store idea is a good one, we have similar places here.  What he and I discussed is that if he gets to his 100 marbles he gets a reward, and if he gets to more than that in the week he gets a "bonus". He is happy with that so we will see how that goes first.  I agree this is a great system and my oldest at least really seems to respond well to it.  My youngest has not really seemed to grasp it, however, after he gets his "reward" today (we had to "help" him along the way, lol, he will understand better that his "good marbles" are going to result in a reward for him and he will cooperate better. At least, I'm hoping.   But as the main discipline problem in our house comes from oldest, and our house has been much calmer over the last week, I am happy.  Heaven knows, I am going to need calmness and control next week as littlie has to go into hospital to relieve chronic constipaton related to his syndrome.

my house has been so quiet since starting this, well so much quieter then im used to anyway lol.

The 4 yr old doesnt even give himself the chance to wake up before hes asking for his first marble. lol, at that time he still can talk properly or walk straight. lol. ( we give him a mrble for everytime he doesnt wet the bed. and since starting the marble system, he hasnt wet it at all.) im so proud of the kids  we still have our ups and downs, but everone has there good and bad days.

Oh i posted a thread about our sucesses with brain gym and i also included some links about the right brained kids.  its call "were never turing back!!"

Angel.

I started this and it is a “hands on” discipline program that most ADHD kids will respond to.  ADHD kids need to participate in their discipline.  They do well if they are able to have hands on and participate in.  If they can see it, they will respond to it.  This is what I do.  I keep a log, but he is the one to add and remove the <