Marble system for discipline by ogram | ADHD Information
I think i will try the marble system it sounds like a good idea and it is one that i haven't tried yet.. Hey all!Love this idea, gonna try it as soon as our marble order arrives with our 6 year old ds w/adhd. Found a neat place to try if you want to order some. (we let our ds pick the ones he liked!)
http://www.moonmarbles.com
a 1 pound bag of the "target" marbles is only .50 and contains 80-90 marbles. Not bad for the sanity it could help bring the house! :)
Thanks for the advice! I'll update in a few weeks how it's working!
I am going to give the Marble's a chance. He might enjoy the responsibility of putting in and also learn from taking out. I will let you know how it goes after awhile. Good luck to all and don't forget to tell your child(ren) that you "Love Them" anytime and often.Howdy all!
So the marbles arrived day before yesterday: They are LOVELY! And the two one-pound bags we ordered were the perfect amount: we have 174 marbles now, which allows us some extra if they get misplaced or dd decides she would also like to work on earning marbles.
And we found we only need a fairly small container, too. We bought one of those big red vines containers (don't worry, ds didnt' eat too many of them, so no red dye overload!!! ;) ) and dh ate most of them! Now that it's empty and ready, it seems huge! Oh well, we'll be able to see the marbles well!
I noticed an IMMEDIATE change in our ds's behaviors and attitudes. All I have to do is threaten to take a marble away, and he will modify himself quickly. He got himself ready for school yesterday morning in record time, so he could earn three marbles. He has been getting his homework done without many complaints, all so he can earn marbles.
His prize for 100 marbles is only , because our family is on a very tight budget. But he thinks that's like winning the lottery so he's super-excited about it!
Thank you again so much for this idea! I will update as the time goes by to see if consistent progress is made. We still need to all sit down and create a list of do's and don'ts, but for now we have a nice start! :):):)
[QUOTE=Dadofsonw/adhd] Good luck to all and don't forget to tell your child(ren) that you "Love Them" anytime and often.[/QUOTE]
I could not agree more! I don't think we discuss that enough on this board. our children NEED to hear that. We have a cycle we go though on an hourly basis when he's home, and we do it every time I drop him off at school. We say, "I love you, I like you, You are special and smart and I am proud of you." We have a "who can say it first contest. Any way, one day at the school when i was dropping him off in the morning, after we went through our verbal affections, the teacher that opens the door looked at me and just stared. I apologized for taking longer than normal, we just had to do our "love your's for the morning" and she said, "I was having a bad morning and this made my day." she went on to say that no one tells their children they love them in front of her any more and it is good to hear it again. So, Yes, TELL THEM YOU LOVE THEM, TELL THEM YOU LIKE THEM, TELL THEM OFTEN AND NOT JUST IN YOUR HOME. Children need to hear it all the time.
I have tried the marble system for the past few months..at first it seemed to work, but as fats as my daughterr picked up on the system she droped it. I am having a hard time finding something that works for her. I have stoped doing things for her long ago..like cleaning her room making sure her dirty colthes are in the laundry room..hoping that maybe she would get tired of the mess ands not having clean socks...but she didn't. I have told her that things left on her bedroom floor would be thrown out,and they have been a number of times..but she could care less. Right now..well as of last week her father and i sat down with her and told her what was going to be requiered of her..and that if she did not do what was asked she would miss out on the fun things her brothers get to do..and would not be getting any special treats. she has already missed out on family fun night at her school and 2 birthday partys...but still there has been no change in her. can anyone offer me some help?
ok, i'm going to pick the parts that I see are wrong and try to help. Remember, I am adhd and live it every day. I also am raising it, so i have a HUGE insight.
[QUOTE=Going crazy]
I have tried the marble system for the past few months..at first it seemed to work, but as fats as my daughter picked up on the system she droped it. I am having a hard time finding something that works for her. I have stoped doing things for her long ago..like cleaning her room making sure her dirty colthes are in the laundry room..ok, you need to get her a laundry basket for her room. some things are going to have to be different for her. She will use it if you get it for her. she is not focused like your other child. hoping that maybe she would get tired of the mess ands not having clean socks...but she didn't. I have told her that things left on her bedroom floor would be thrown out,and they have been a number of times..but she could care less. Right now..well as of last week her father and i sat down with her and told her what was going to be requiered of her..and that if she did not do what was asked she would miss out on the fun things her brothers get to do..and would not be getting any special treats. she has already missed out on family fun night at her school and 2 birthday partys...but still there has been no change in her. can anyone offer me some help?
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What did you do with the marble system? how did you work it? I need details on what you did so I know what you are doing. It might take longer than a few months to get it right. Tell me what you are doing. Just by what you have said above, I have an idea, but I want to know for sure. And what meds is she on.
ok..where to start...my daughter has adhd as well as severe odd.
she has a laundry basket right beside her bedroom door, it has always been there..i have tried putting it in her room ..still she leaves her dirty clothes on her floor.
when we stared using the marble system, i sat down with her to get her input and to see what she thought she could do to earn marbles and what she would lose marbles for...she was really willing to try and i was surprised to hear what she had to say...i made the a small list of the things that she felt she could earn marbles for...her list was surprising.. things like keeping her room clean..doing her home work..feeding the pets..respecting the feeling of family members...her list for losing marbles was..not doing what she was asked to do...hitting and name calling....back talk...and phone calls from school.(she gets in trouble at school weekly for bullying the other kids in her class. than we sat down and decided how many marbles she would get for doing each thing on her list and how many she would lose. she would get 10 marbles everytime she did what was on HER list and she would lose 5 marbles everytime she did not do what was aked and when she was disrespectful of family members feeling and so on....when she got 50 marbles in her jar she would get or be allow to stay up 15 minutes later then her normal bedtime.
Goingcrazy:
I have the exact same problem. My son is 8 and takes Vyvanse 30mg every morning. He does awesome at school and daycare. It is only at home that we have problems. He is not interested in earning marbles anymore. I shouldn't say he is not interested but it doesn't seem to be enough of a motivator. Nothing will get him to do what he needs to so we can leave in time in the morning or get him in bed on time. It is making me crazy as well. I didn't see a response to your last post and wondered if you got any advice. We are seeing a psychologist for some help but have only had one session. Had to wait 2 weeks for the next appt. We won't be able to see him much because we have to pay out of pocket and at 5 a visit we just can't afford to. But if we don't get help life will be worse so I figure if it causes more debt it is worth it.
Hi all,Just started the marble thing today. So far it's going great. My 6 year old
son is zooming around the house trying to figure out what to do to get
marbles in the jar. Here's what we did:
(1) We made the reward as he still doesn't completely understand
the value of money and we want to start low and work to a larger amount.
Of this , we will have him put into his college savings account.
Once a month, he will go with me to deposit his college money. He can
spend the rest on whatever he wants.
(2) To get him motivated, we gave him 50 marbles to start. He was
ecstatic and already after one day, he's earned 68 marbles.
(3) We only listed 8 positive items we'd like to see him work on (puts
marbles in the jar) and only 4 items that he'd have items removed for.
We're trying very hard to focus only on the positive and make it a list of
items that isn't too overwhelming.
(4) I wrote everything out on a white board, decorated it with cute
pictures and called it "Michael's Magical Marbles." He was very excited
about the magical part of it.
(5) I also have a 4 year old son and decided not to have him use this
system for now. There is too much competition between the two boys as
it is and I think I made the right choice. I just told my 4 year old that it's
something you do when you turn 6 years old. He has his own sticker
system that works for him, especially since he doesn't have ADHD. My 6
year old seems thrilled that this is just for him.
Can't wait to see what progress we see. Will continue to keep you posted!!
What I like about this idea is that it works for `start' behaviours and not just `stop' behaviours.
It's easy to discipline a child for hitting, lying, talking back, etc. But, it's hard to discipline for `not getting shoes on quickly' or `not brushing one's teeth without being told'.
For the marbles, I can just post all the behaviours I want him to do and if he wants the marbles, he has go do them.
Thanks! I'm a teacher and used to do this in the classroom, but forgot about it for my own son. LOL
Hi everyone~ Thank the lord I found this site. I am a first time poster and mom to a super sweet 6 year old boy (1st grade) that was just recently diagnosed with sever ADHD hyperactivity. Thus, we just began the meds--which really help him focus on his work but after a while also cause these extreme emotional outburst at school only!!! At home he is an angel ;) We finally decided to take a break from the meds and introduced the marble system--which we all absolutely love!!! My son doesnt have aggression or discipline issues at home thank the lord. He is an only child--for a few more weeks anyway ;) just wanted to share and say thanxsHi, I am new here. (just posted my story on another thread) We have a similar system for my 5 yr old son - who is a technology junkie. He "earns" poker chips for things like doing what he is told the first time, cleaning his room without whining, obeying the teachers at school, etc. Each chip is worth 15 minutes of time. He can redeem the chips for time to watch tv, play a game on the computer, or play with his leapster. (we decided to use those things as the redemption items because they were the most valuable things to him)
He gets his chips for the day right before he goes to bed, and he can redeem them the next day if he wishes. So, he knows if he doesn't earn any today, he won't be redeeming any tomorrow because you can't redeem them the same day you earn them.
It works really well, because he knows he isn't going to get to do any of those things if he doesn't have any chips to redeem.
We just got diagnosed with ADHD and anger overload so I've been reading this site for hours! I am very excited about the "marble method", so much in fact that I already have the bowls on the buffett, 1 with 100 marbles in it! Okay, not real marbles but fish marbles I took out of the fish tank while cleaning it today! My 6 year old son is very excited also (no school today, he's sick) and we are going to start as soon as he wakes up from his nap! I'll update if this works for our family.Diane - you are right. Can't believe I overlooked the obvious - IGNORE the tantrum. I'm so tired of livign with the tantrum responses I've tried to teach him to UNDUE that, but the best way is to ignore it, and reward when he DOESN'T TANTRUM.
And, if I take yet another marble FOR the tantrum, he'll give up entirely, because, "what's the use" will be his mentality...
Perspective helps.
:-)
3littlekids39685.6845601852
for now, I'd ignore the tantrum over losing the marble. Let him get used to it. Once he grasps the whole thing, give him a marble every time he does NOT tantrum over the lost marble. The fewer behaviors you work on at a time the more successful I've found these things to be.
My daughters 4th grade teacher used a similar system in her class for everyone too, they used pretend "dollars" and shopped at the "store" once a month. The kids LOVED it!
Ok, so I am starting this system with my 7 y/o as well. As a teacher, I've used a simliar system at school - except I use it for all kids in my class, to reward ANY good behavior and/or work completion. At school, I made a small 4x5 grid = 20 squares. If at the end of each day they've completed their work and handed it in, they'll get a stamp that night after I've seen/marked it. I also use this to reward those struggling with whatever - attention, behavior etc. Once they fill up their 20-stamp card, they get to choose a treat from my "Treasure Chest". I always wanted a way to reward not only those who need encouragement, but those that do well all the time, and rarely get any recognition. No one loses any stamps, you only get a fresh grid once you've filled up the prior one.
NOW - I never thought to apply this program at home. So here I go. My son chose 100 blue marbles from the craft store over the weekend. Today is MarbleDay1. He lost 2 marbles this morning, for using his "angry voice" and shouting at me/his brother. However, he did get a marble for turning off his lights in his room; another for putting his breakfast dishes in the sink, and getting into the car quickly and "without fussing".
Due to his diagnosed anxiety, he gets more upset when he loses a marble, and often can't control his temper when he does...any suggestions? Poor kid, he does something 'wrong' or breaks a rule, loses a marble, then he loses his temper ...
any ideas on how to help him NOT lose his temper over losing the marble??
I started with my adhd daughter who is 7.
I got 2 empty jars and made a chart on a clip board out the days in order and the things she was to do on one page and the things she loose marbles from on next page...along with how many she earns and looses.
I got to empty jars out earned and marked one lost...decorted them real quite with positive things.
She marks the chart everyday and we monitor it and then at the end of the week on sunday morning we add up each day good good and lost and out the marbles in each container..Then the lost goes back in my bowl which is put were she can not get to it..Only parents hand out marbles.
Then she cashes in her marbles for rewards..we call them handi points...they are handi, I took index cards and put from 15-120 handi points earned on them with rewards like 1-2 past bedtime, movie and popcorn, friend over, lake and money, all diffrent things abut 20 options in the range she can save them for something big use some or spend it all...Then the cards were colored to look like money. when she gets her awards NOMATTER what she gets to use them...She has a get out of trouble she can buy or anything else. That is her award we have to let her use it anytime. This works great, got her doing chores and better behavior daycare does it and i am hoping school will also. We are on our 3rd week.
I went off this web-site and handi-points web-site is how i made my chart
Luvmykids0239666.429212963Love this and am going to try it!
My son responds well to positive reinforcement. (don't we all!)
Thanks for the fun approach to going through the routines!
Also appreciate the feedback.
I have been considering some sort of chart system or reward system for my daughter (7, ADHD) and step-daughter (6, possible ADHD, behavioral issues) to help with focusing on tasks and not arguing for my daughter, and with behavioral problems with my step-daughter. Now that I have read how this has worked well for quite a few people it seems, I'm going to work on something this weekend while the two are at their other parents' houses. I'm definitely going to be talking to their teachers and their other parents on helping out with this too. Well at least my daughter's father. Unfortunately my step-daughter's mother seems to add to her behavior most of the time instead of helping with it, her school will definitely get involved though. They already os a similar system with her there.Wow, I really like this system!! While I can see how it's great for ADHD kids, I think it would be helpful to a lot of other kids, too. Awesome ideas!!
Dee
thanks for the marbles we will try it out as soon as i but them. i have just started to read a book about adhd and it said in that about a reward system using tokens but i think this is better the marble system works. You can use anything, marbles, coins, tokens. I do believe all kids are different and this may not work with EVERY kid, but my bets are that it will. Marbles wont work with a 16 year old...............use poker chips, or coins that can be cashed in later. The prizes cna be anything, dollar amounts, extra video game or computer time.....etc., etc. It's the concept of them actually seeing a physical things add up (the marbles) or go down all dependant on if they do positive or negative behavior. Work on one behavior at a time.I have been looking for something that would help with a positive reinforcement for each step that my son does with his homework. I think the marble system might be the answer. I am going to be going to the store to get marbles before Monday! Thank you for your Idea.....anything is worth a shot!
I started the marble system with my son this past week and it is helping. He earns for every 100 marbles. He has finally started flossing his teeth because of this! (Good thing since he gets braces in one month!)
Today my son came home and announced that a friend at school got an ipod touch for his birthday and this is what he wants for Christmas.
The one he wants is 0. GRRRRRR. Why did this kid's mom let him have such an expensive toy that is portable and can be lost so easily! (THey are in the 6th grade.) I pointed out to my son that Santa's budget didn't go over 0. I also mentioned that even though this boy had it, he was probably the only one because that really wasn't reasonable. (Tomorrow he is on a mission to find another kid who has one to refute me.)
Lucky for me, ds probably thinks its impossible to earn 0 before CHristmas(and it really is for how much his marbles are worth.) But I am a little worried that he is going to get gung ho and try, then say he will pay 0 and Santa can pay 0. Geesh. We had been having such a great week and he had been thinking of saving up for stilts (about ). He was motivated and now he is cranky and whiney. And the thing is, if he were to get this ipod touch, he probably wouldn't even use it that much.
This is the same boy who decided he wanted a porche or lamborgini for his first car. WHen I pointed out that wasn't reasonable, he decided he would settle on a Trans Am. Our family cars are an old Chevy Lumina and a Dodge Caravan Van.
What do you do when your child makes outlandish requests?
Last year my daughter (she was in 6th grade then, must be the age) wanted an expensive ipod for Christmas. I just bought her a cheaper one. It's fine, it plays music and she can download what she wants with my approval. Her friends have EVERYTHING, especially her best friend, clothes from the pricey stores, EVERY game system when it comes out, the best of everything, I just keep telling her every family is different and we cant always have what everyone else has. She was fine with the cheaper ipod , and the novelty wore off, you're right.
We went through all this when the kids in school got cell phones in 3rd and 4th grade . I made her wait, she just got one this summer for her 13th irthday, she wanted one that does all this tuff and is pink...etc., etc., I just got her the free one on my plan and said Happy Birthday 
. She so thrilled to get one after me saying no for three years...........she didnt care.
I am at times overwhelmed with my son's behaviour. Lately, he's been worst and bedtime is a nightmare. After this morning, which was total disaster, I just decided to try the marble system since it seems to be working good for many of you. Wish me luck!
Thanks for the tips!
I really like the idea of the marble system and am trying to figure out how to incorporate this in our home. Our son is only 5 and can't read or write yet and we are in the beginning stages of ADHD diagnosis, still trying meds to find a fit. We have lots of anger, frustration and emotion during this process so I fear that we would have marbles scattered everywhere in a fit of frustration. Any suggestions on how to change it up for a better fit?Wow! This is really interesting. My son has enjoyed (and misused) a magnetic responsibility chart for about 6 months now. I've been wondering what we might do to help him with this. He has a tendency to put a "completed" magnet in places where he actually hasn't done the work. I think he just likes putting them up there. But, the point is to actually get him to DO the work. I think the marbles might work better. And taking them out in specific amounts based on the things he does that go against the rules is great. I can't mimic that with the responsibility chart. Thanks!
Hello to all. I just want to say that I've been reading up on all of your posts from the beginning regarding the marbles. I'm still reading, I have about 10 pages left to read but it's so interesting.
I have mentioned to my partner this evening about it. And we are gonng start doing it with all 3 of our kids. Our middle child is Sam and the one who needs it the most but the other 2 will benefit from it too. It's only fair.
This is my story. I have 2 kids, my son is 12 and my daughter Sam is 10 who has ADHD. She hasn't been diagnosed with it yet, but they have told us she as ADD which I'm thinking is pretty much the same thing, all in the same family. She was also born with a congenital heart defect, 2 holes in her heart (ASD, VSD and she also has a PDA). She had a G-tube for 10 months when she was under a year old. She also gave us a scare with cancer but turned out it wasn't....long story. And she also has a syndrome called Velo Cardio Facial Syndrome. Which is all part of her learning disability. She has a IEP at school for language, french and reading but we are looking into having one for Math now as she is struggling.
When I said we had 3 kids, what I'm saying is my boyfriend has a 4 year old daughter which he has custody of so we are all together. My kids are still going through the adjustments of new city, school, teacher and friends. See we just moved to this are this past summer so it's alot of changes for them. They only see their father every second weekend and holidays. It's more difficult for my son who is 12. We are all very busy. I work here at the hospital part time. My boyfriend owns a business which is a gas station, convenient store, car wash, bait shop, propane ect... and he's an auto mechanic and a marine mechanic. So we run the store together, I do all the bookkeeping and he has the shop on the side. We run around like chicken's with our heads cut off all the time. With monday being hockey night, my son plays, so he has a practice on monday nights. All 3 have swimming lessons on tuesdays and Sam has girl guides on tuesdays too. The youngest one has sparks on wednesdays which is a younger version of Girl Guides. On thursdays they all swim again. Friday beleive it or not is the only night we have nothing planned. But yet every second weekend we meet half way so my kids can go to their fathers for the weekend. And then return on sunday nights. And the weekend that I have them. Saturday my son has a hockey game and sunday too. So between all the extra currricular activities they are in and the store and me working at the hospital and you all know the housework and homework, and laundry and all, we are all very busy. And oh yeah I forgot my partner and I bowl on a mix league on sunday nights...lol.
So, I'm hoping and thinking this marble thing will work just great. Now if I can only stay on top of it. But I'm very excited to start it. We will sit down tomorrow night with the kids and talk to them about it.
Thanks for the great ideas!!!
We have tried a behavior modification system similair to this with our daugher and it works very well. It is definitely a lot of work on our part but if it helps the behavior improve, it is well worth it. By rewarding positive behavior and punishing bad behavior, the child is given constant feedback which helps them make future choices. Update: We started using the marble system after my last post on Dec 6, except we used nickels. After a month of nickels going back & forth between jars, our 5 yr old son finally got his reward this weekend. He was so excited that he finally did it and has already chosen his next reward. It was a struggle and at times it seemed like more nickels went in the frown jar that in the reward jar but hopefully with getting his reward, he will begin to make the connection of doing the "right" things. It's definately a reward system worth trying!My son is 9 and we use plastic coins that he can turn in for money or video time whichever he preferes or both. He seemed to respond better to the money than the marbles. He loves money!I do a version of this with my 8 year old. He has 2 notebooks, and each day he writes all the 'good choices' he can think of (one per line) for the day in one book, and all the 'not so good choices' in the other. When he gets a full page in the good book, he gets a dollar. When he gets a full page in the not so good book, he has to give me a dollar. Then he can trade his money for special things, like 3 dollars to choose the movie we rent, 10 dollars to go to Chuck E Cheese, etc). It's helped him to be able to review his choices, we talk about what better choices would have been, he really thinks about everything he did that day and gives us an opportunity to discuss good choices vs requirements (ie, going to school is a requirement, remembering to put his homework in his bag is a good choice), he gets much needed practice with his printing, and it is also helped him learn to save and budget (he's trying for 1000 dollars and a trip to DisneyLand!).I LOVE this!!!
Thanks for sharing.
Great Idea! I get so much good info here!I found marbles - not the typical ones, but pretty enough and inexpensive - at the dollar stores with the vases. I also saw them at the fish stores to use in tanks. I'd like to try and use the marble system with my 6 year old daughter. I'd like to refrain from rewarding her with money or buying her things. Any suggestions? Also, I'm wondering how to use this system when I also have a 4 year old son who does not have ADHD and is a cooperative well behaved child. If I start rewarding his sister with things than he will want something too. What then?I'd use it for both children. I'm sure there are some things the 4 year old can learn to do.
You do not have to reward with money or things. They can cash the marbles in for things, like staying up an extra half hour on the weekend. Having a friend over for dinner, an extra one on one board game with Mom or Dad, extra tv time, taking a friend on a playdate somewhere. There are all kinds of things you can do.
[QUOTE=kellysue7]I'd like to try and use the marble system with my 6 year old daughter. I'd like to refrain from rewarding her with money or buying her things. Any suggestions? Yes, try using the reward system for video game time, television time or family game time. You could even use it for special toys that your dd loves. She can use them as a buying chip for blocks of time for any of these things. I have even used it with my son to buy out of his daily chores. He really likes to do that.
Also, I'm wondering how to use this system when I also have a 4 year old son who does not have ADHD and is a cooperative well behaved child. If I start rewarding his sister with things than he will want something too. What then? Then, you do exactly what falls "naturally into place. He will want to do what his big sister does by in-stint. So, all you have to do is scale it down to his comprehension. He will understand more than you think, once he sees his sister doing it for a few weeks. He might have to have it written down.
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I also use the "Easy Child system" as well to work with it, you can read through here or look at my blog on this site, it has it on there. You will be able to enter it into your computer, print it out and keep track of your child's progress. It takes about 3 minutes to enter and print out. I love it. Using it you can see your child's progress and weakness that way you know where you need to work, as in reading time, less or more home work, when home work works best, setting table and just about every thing you might need to plan out. The most important thing for ADHDers is consistency. WE HAVE TO HAVE THAT. If we don't, we will fall, and fall fast. Keep every thing the same. If it's not the same, we have a tendency to fail. It's not that we want to fail, we just need that consistency, and if you are not adhd, you don't know how hard it is for us to each day. We need to know what is going to happen and when. When ADHDers get older, they have to switch classes in school. that is VERY hard on them. So, if you keep the routine at home the same, every day from here on out, it will help them as they grow older. It will MOST definitely help them to succeed knowing what to expect now and later. The marble system is a stepping stone for success. Keep the rules the same and the rewards have to be 2 to 1 on the negative. ADHDers have to have more positive than negative. The need to see the success and need to have a part in the discipline. Sit down with your child and go over the rules. Let them participate in the rule making and in the discipline planning. That way, they will feel as if they have some control. They need control. After all, WE have VERY little control at that age, and when you let them have a say so BEFORE the fact, they will take the punishment better and will try to succeed, so they don't let themselves down. I know this may not make much since to you, but I'm adhd and I am living it and raising it. It makes perfect since. If you need any help, just ask. I'm here, and that is what I'm here for.
Hi,
Just wanted to get some thoughts on this: I am raising my nephew (he's 16 ADHD) We have had him 3 years, and everyday is hard! Last night I was talking to someone about behavior modification, and they said to not mess with the rewards when a consequence is in order. In other words, if your child earns 5 marbles doing something good, we are really not supposed to take them back when he does something bad. We are supposed to have a seperate consequence, having absolutely nothing to do with the marbles. I want to know if you have had any experience using this technique, and what works best. Please let me know. Thank you!
I spent a good part of my afternoon reading this thread. I've looked into systems before but I think we needed something more tangible. We're going out after homework is done to buy the marbles or equivalent. My kids are 11 and 9 so they helped me devise the system. I told them that 100 marbles equals .00, or which .00 has to go to charity.They spent 15 minutes talking about which charities they wanted to donate the money to! My 9 year old even asked if he could give his whole to charity one week if he wanted! They each earned their first marble for that!
Okay so this sounds great but is anyone using this system in any modified way for teens. My dtr is 14 and I can already see the eyes rolled up in her head if I bring up starting a marble system. It is so easy to just notice what isn't done or what is wrong instead of what is right and my system is just not working because of this. any ideas on this for a teen? I don't mind using the marbles...I just want her to "buy into" the concept...Money. Cash talks with teens! I would use quarters if you can, but any coins will work. Then she can cash them in for larger bills
, or buy extra computer time or whatever. This system is great for younger ones, but will work for teens, but you will need to modify. Teens are whole different story.I'm so glad I saw this! I already have a bag of marbles that I bought for who knows what and I plan to start this tomorrow. Thanks!
Amanda
Has anyone tried doing two kids together? I would like to foster team work. My ADHD son(9 yr) is not a behavior problem but he does not remember to take care of his things. My 6 year old is the stubborn one. I wonder if she will loss too many marbles and he will feel it is unfair.
I thought if they did it together we would "cash in" the marbles for fun family events - movie night, arcade, mini golf, etc.
To clarify, I am thinking about combining both kids marbles into one jar and cash them in when the total is reached. I feel this might be easier than having them compare and compete when one kid has met the goals and one hasn't. I don't see why it wouldn't work. I am a Childcare Provider and I use a similar system for the Daycare. We use construction paper loops that we form a chain with like the kind you make around Christmas time. I hang them from the top of the doorway. The kids get a loop for good behavior, one taken away after a warning for bad behavior. When the loop chain touches the floor we have an ice cream party. One loop chain for all the kids combined. It helps them to work as a group and I even see the youngest children telling the more active children the rules so they don't get a loop taken.
I have just started using the marble system with my 10 yr. ADHD daughter, and plan on using it in my resource room this upcoming school year. I am excited to be using it at home, although I am not certain of effectiveness yet, (it's too early). I will be modifying it some for my classroom, but I think it will work great.
I can not find marbles anywhere. Please help.I can not find marbles anywhere. Please help.
Try Ebay and type "kids marbles" in the search tool bar
Luvmykids0239343.485625you can use anything if you cant find marbles. poker chips work great. My neighbor uses pennies, gotta love that real money .Over the years I have used this system in my classrooms and have seen a very similar system on an educational video for teachers on ADHD. The setting was a special education class of ADHD children with severe behavioural problems. The teacher had a timer. The timer was set for a very short period - say 3 minutes. The vibrating timer would go off and this would signal the teacher to give attention to the child and find positive point to reward. As the child responsed, the time was lengthened. I remembering seeing this video (prior to my own children being born - 14 years ago) and thinking it was like obedience training for a dog!!! Finding the positive and rewarding staying on task as was the case in this classroom or by positive behaviour in your son's case needs to be often to be effective. Keep up the good work!!!! In one classroom, I had an enterprising young boy who brought in his own marbles!!!! They are certainly one step ahead of us at times!
My son loves lists and rules (he may also have Asperger syndrome in addition to his ADHD, we're not sure yet), so I think he gets a huge sense of security to see it all written down and pasted to the wall, with clear consequences. Of course we're lucky in that he learned to read really young, so I don't know how well it would work with other five year olds, but for us with both mom and son having ADD it's a lifesaver to have a bunch of lists on the wall so neither one of us forgets.
I'm finding the biggest help is that it reminds me to follow the "80/20 Rule", where no matter how many negative things you have to say to correct behavior, you make sure you compensate with a lot more positives. So when he's being a surly little Ball of Cranky, I just keep telling myself, "80-20 Sue, 80-20 . . ." and then look really hard for ways to praise him later. This has totally changed the atmosphere of the house, and it's way less stressful for us. And with less stress, my son has fewer behaviors! It's wonderful. I would never have thought ignoring bad behavior was better than punishing it, but for my son at least I now have proof it is.
And as I wrote in another post, I also put up a marble chart for myself. That way my son can see it's not okay for Mommy to yell or throw things when she's mad either, and that Mommy also has jobs around the house to be praised for.
I'm finding that for us it really works best to add and remove marbles at the end of the day. We go through the list, and I ask "Did we do this? Do we do that?" and he says yes or no. He's much more receptive to losing out on marbles that way. If he's in the middle of a snit and I threaten to take marbles away, he's not able to think straight and it makes him more upset and he starts to resent the system. But when asked at the end of the day when he's calm and happy, he's quite honest and open about what he should or shouldn't lose them for. And not shy about pointing out to me that I yelled once. :)
I would tend not to take marbles away. Reinforce the wanted behaviour and then with unacceptable behaviour express that this is not acceptable and if you need to discipline by other methods eg less time at the park or removal from the situation. Be calm when doing this eg " You know the rule about hitting - because you can't play without hitting you have to go to you room" or remove the other child away from the game etc. Therefore showing the child that the wrong behaviour leads to the end of the game and so the fun comes to a halt when the negative behaviour is used. Then later explain that people will not want to be around someone who hits - discuss other things that could be done to in this situation. Then as soon as possible reinforce good behaviour by giving marbles. "Well done on playing without hitting" Remember to remind the child of the right and wrong behaviour before the play session. Reinforce positive behaviour with marbles. Teach your daughter to not sit and take any negative behaviour. Teach her to get up and walk away when he hits. This teaches both an important lesson.
We have been using the marble system for close to two weeks. It is working really well until he loses marbles. There has only been two times that he has lost marbles but he wants to quit and give back all of the money he earns. What can i do about this. How do I give him marbles back when he loses them for hitting? I have not mastered taking them away yet.
Tara
WOW!!!!! what a great idea. i will start this at home immediately. its perfect for all children thanks(from me and my children)
Thank you Thank you!!! We have tried so many diffferent types of reward systems and such and none of them have worked. This seems like it very well may do the trick...
Yay for you!!! >.<
no one has posted to this thread in sometime. i was just told about this method in another thread. i have a son diagnosed a week ago and i'm eager to get things together and try whatever might help. I am so afraid to be one of the ones that post that its not working. BUT i'm going to give it a good shot.
i am really new to this site and its hard to read everything in a certan thread before you post. there are so many good ideas though. if anyone wants to suggest any threads to a mom of a 8 1/2 year old recenlty diagnosed please do.
been reading about this the last few days, and am going to try it with both my DS and DD ages 6 and 4. Some is currently going through his adhd assesments, and my daughter......lol, a whole other set of problems. So I think I am going to think on this for the next couple of days and tweek it some for our household. I may try the paper "tickets" instead of the marbles, due to the fact they would be too much of a temptation for the 4 year old. can get 2 different colors for the tickets, and a couple of "fish bowl" type bowls from the dollar tree for each of them, and away we go!! i really hope this works for my two, everyday around here is so stressful and loud, anything to help alleviate some of the stress for them and us is worth a shot! this is great! I love this! I am an mental health counselor and an advanced trainer in theNurtured Heart Approach. I think what you have described here would work
well in the point system of the Nurtured Heart Approach. The Nurtured Heart
Approach does not specify what to use for the points. It suggests artificial
money. I love the idea of marbles. It is tangible. What you have described
gives the child a sense of control, and active participation in his own growth
and maturity. It is also a good way to teach responsibility. Kudos to you.thank you so much for this! my son was just diagnosed with adhd and aggression. One question. What do you guys do when you go out? I'm afraid if my son can't see the marbles he won't do good when we go places. He's 5. I was thinking about bring 2 ziplock bags, marbles and a peice of paper[for negatives] and when we return home he can put those marbles in the big container or look at the paper and take those ones out. Sound good?
I think it is especially important to talk about your expectations before you go out. You pretty much know what the bad behaviour will be before you go so talk about what you expect and what the reward will be for the good behaviour. The whole idea is to focus on the good.
For instance, I have 3 adhd children, twin ds 8 and dd 6 (ds 3 seems to not have it, thank goodness!). The car used to be a torture chamber so I would offer marbles for the 5 min. drive to school. Every one has to be nice, only say nice things to each other, everyone keeps their hands and feet to themselves etc. They could all get 5 marbles for obeying those rules. It often didn't work in the beginning, but it forced me to focus on the child or children that earned their marbles/were good, rather than focus on the one that was being naughty. I see this as a way to give positive attention - if the bad behaviours are attention seeking and they only get attention for good behaviour then maybe the bad behaviour will stop. If nothing else, I felt better for it!
the car is not so bad now, maybe it is maturity, maybe medication, maybe marbles, probably all 3. Good luck, age 5 was the hardest for us all!
I saw someone say they were using the Marble system in a post so I was curious. I am fascinated and will be picking up the supplies tomorrow and starting immediately with both of my kids, 6 and 4 (even though the 4 yr old doesnt have behavior issues, she still wants to be rewarded, but who doesnt)...
We tried something similar to this earlier in the year, it was with puzzle pieces. We would buy small puzzles and the assigned puzzle pieces for different things during the day. If he completed the whole puzzle he got to pick a special toy or something special he has been wanting.
Problem with this was that he doesnt really value 'things'... he had no motivation to get toys, ice cream, etc.. He was really into it for about a month, and then gave up and just stopped caring. This seems to be the trend with every behavior mod. we have tried. We havent been able to find what motivates him over and over.
I like the idea that it is money driven at the end, that way he can save up for something, and also start saving money. This not only teaches behavior, but also teaches the value of money (something I was not taught as a child).
Thanks again! I will update how it works!!!
Not ot be contrary, but I feel that life has negative and positive
consequences and we use both. Time outs and a behavior mod chartI have adapted this for young kids because I'm a teacher. There are two
things that come to mind. 1. don't have an in and out bucket. just have one
bucket to add to when she does the right thing. She'll see it filling and get
the idea. 2. draw a row of squares on a strip of paper, then give a sticker or
draw a star when she does something well. the small downside to this is that
you can't take away stars when she does something you're not happy with.
But there's something to be said for that. she can look at building towards
the right behaviors. she can look back at the row of stars/ stickers and "see"
how good she was. Good luck!We are re-starting the marble program TODAY! We have
avoided going back to it because I thought if I'm going to
do it for one of my boys, I should do it for the other.
I've decided to get over that. Each child needs to be
treated appropriately. I am doing something a little
different for my older DS. Wish me luck! I don't know if I should be happy or angry about this thread.
Angry, that I did not know such a wonderful tool earlier and happy, of course, that I know it now.
We used to have a similar system with tokens of 15min screen time and later 10pennies but it was much less sophisticated. Also, the reward aspect was not a strong as described here. Nevertheless, we chugged along with our system quite successfully at times. Then, as puberty hit, things got a lot rougher and my son seemed to lose control a lot more.
We introduced the reflection room - he needs to go into it for 90 minutes at a time - for severe misbehaviour like lying and extreme dawdling. It worked actually quite well - but it is painful for me if he sits in there.
I will try this system!
Just a short note to say we are using the marble system for 3 weeks now and it is working beautifully. DS is more motivated and it reduces the stress in our family. I would recommend it! Question - how old are the kids who are doing this? My daughter is 5, and can't read yet, so I'm not sure how to make it so she knows the difference between the "In" and "Out" buckets. I'll talk it over with my husband, and see if we can figure something out. I know she can't read a list of what she is supposed to do and what she isn't supposed to do yet. . . any suggestions on how to adapt this for kids who can't read yet would be greatly appreciated! We haven't found anything that works with her. She doesn't care when we take privileges or toys away, or she gets time outs or even grounded for the day (we just found out she's ADHD today, so we haven't adapted anything to that yet).
Thanks! Started talking to our 7 year old about the marble system yesterday. He was very hyped up about it. We began it this morning. So far, so good. He got everything finished that he needed to before school including piano practice, with time to spare! Let's hope his enthusiasm continues! I am so going to try this with my son. I'm actually quite excited about it! This is my first visit to this board and already I feel so much better.
Thanks again!
I've been trying it since Xmas and it is not working.He forgets about it and he constantly loses all his marbles in 1 day.AAAHHHHwhat a fantastic idea! we are gonna try this, I have to argue with my son from the time he comes home from school until bed about what hes supposed to be doing! Like untie your shoes when you take them off at the door, where is your backpack do you have homework what is the homework ect.....This goes on all night week nights.Does anyone use this system for 3 1/2 year olds non adhd, that test out limits at home, my 3 year old is testing us so badly, yet everyone else who watches him, school, family ect, says he is an angel listens so well, its very frusterating to here lol. We are in the middle of potty trainning still and he could care less about getting a sticker and reward for going potty, but maybe if he has to take some marbles out he might think twice. Also he pretends he doesnt hear us when its time to leave and put shoes and jackets on he will go bring out all the legos or other toys hell even tell me hes gonna stay home by himself, and refuse to get ready, which doesnt leave alot of time for time outs. I have an older son he is 8 adhd and we are starting this system today, so perhaps if his big brother is doing it, he may want to give it a go too? What are your opnions ?OMG - we've been doing this for 2 days and already a HUGE improvment has been made! Awesome, Awesome idea!! He is doing everything he should and wanting to do extra to get more marbles. In two days he has only had to take away 2 marbles. I feel so relieved! Thank you!In reading this marbles idea, i have some questions and thoughts. If a child, like mine, has pretty severe issues like ADHD mixed with maybe a mood disorder, and these types of issues or conditions have as part of their definition symptoms that the child cant control, then how can they earn things? What i mean is that if my son has poor impulse control and doesnt think through things before doing them and is aggressive but doesnt mean to be, then i feel bad making him earn marbles - what if he cant?? because the things i want him to earn are beyond his control? If I set up a system to earn a marble for not hitting my husband when he gets angry, he will NEVER earn a marble. I just dont understand in the sense that if he could control these behaviors, wouldnt he? He wouldnt need an incentive like a reward to control himself. I have had this question for years about discipline and consequences and rewards with a child who cant control himself - he wouldnt do undesirable things if he could help it, so how is reward or punishment supposed to help? I can see it for things like if he wants to earn a toy he has to complete chores or do homework etc, but things like not screaming or not asking the same question 100x or not getting aggressive when told no....what about that stuff?I read where those issues need skills taught, and cognitive therapy, not point systems. What do you all think??We are going to have to try this with our son. He loves to have lists of things to do, and getting a prize for doing them all is even better. If it helps here at home I wonder if there is a way to get the school in on it to so he can get marbles from there too.I also disagree with the idea that rewards won't work in the adult years...ever heard of rewarding yourself? I do it all the time, even if it's just a few hours of watching tv on the weekend...just relaxing and now worrying about a thing. :)
i am a nanny and i am working with a child that is ADHD. when i first started back in Jan. i came up with a very simular system. it worked for a while and recently i/we have came to a "whats the point" stance. it is very hard to fix this, i have yet to find a way. i think i will try not loosing marbles and just earning them...maybe time outs and loosing privliages for misbehaving.
the first thing they where working for was a trip to disneyland, his sister earned it but he has yet to...he is going to be real upset when his little sister gets to go and he has to stay home with me.
well, we have been using this for about a month now. When I originally made the list I had a list for marbles to earn and marbles to lose (only 3 ways to lose marbles, lots of ways to earn). We started out just earning marbles and after a few days I decided we would just skip the losing marbles - we have just continued time outs for bad behaviour. We use 123 magic and that is working very well for "stop" behaviour, but the marbles work great for "start" behaviour. I highly recommend this way of doing it. I may in the future take marbles out for hurting a sibling or name calling but it is working well for me at the moment like this.
I am trying this, i think it is a fantastic idea! I have a few questions. I have 3 kids I am using it for (the fourth is 18 months so too young for now). twin DS's 7yo and DD is 5. The twins have ADHD and Dyslexia and one has ODD. DD has no diagnosis and I dont' think has anything but has just started Kindergarten and has had a few massive tantrums at school, has even been sent home twice (maybe she is ODD too)! We need a really good, positive reward system!
My questions: I have one jar of marbles for me, and a jar for each child. I have made my list of points for earning and losing marbles, with some input from the kids. They are all really excited about it, especially the ODD boy (the most challenging one at the moment). Is it ok to only have one jar for me, that they all take marbles from to put into their jars? And, do we have to keep a log of marbles that have been earned or lost? I am worried that we may not keep up if we have to write it down, however I am also worried that we may lose track if we don't write it down.
Just want to be sure we are doing this correctly. I haven't read the easy child system yet but will have a look at that too. Anyone else using both systems?
[QUOTE=Aussie Mum]my questions: I have one jar of marbles for me, and a jar for each child. I have made my list of points for earning and losing marbles, with some input from the kids. They are all really excited about it, especially the ODD boy (the most challenging one at the moment). Is it ok to only have one jar for me, that they all take marbles from to put into their jars? And, do we have to keep a log of marbles that have been earned or lost? I am worried that we may not keep up if we have to write it down, however I am also worried that we may lose track if we don't write it down.
Just want to be sure we are doing this correctly. I haven't read the easy child system yet but will have a look at that too. Anyone else using both systems?
[/QUOTE]
well, honestly, I never kept a log. I tried at first, but I was always looking for reasons to add marbles so there is no reason to keep a log. at the end of each day, I even add a few extra that my son never knows about. It works. Just remember that for ever marble you take out, make sure you find a reason to add at least 4 or more in the same day. Even if it's for brushing his teeth or finishng his home work before bed, give him marbles. It is a self esteem booster for your children. This works if your work it.
I really like this thread so Im just bring it back to the active topics list.
I think i am going to give that a try!
I think the concept of that will work well with my 6yr old.
I started this and it is a “hands on” discipline program that most ADHD kids will respond to. ADHD kids need to participate in their discipline. They do well if they are able to have hands on and participate in. If they can see it, they will respond to it. This is what I do. I keep a log, but he is the one to add and remove the marbles. I am also ADHD, so this system works for me to keep consistency in our home.