frustrated | ADHD Information

My son got suspended fromt the boys and girls club today.  He has been kicked off the bus, suspended from school, and now from the club?  What next?  He will go to daycare tommorrow, but I had to prepay for the club for the whole summer and paid 650$ for 2 kids.  this is usually nonrefundable, but they said if I took the kids elsewhere they would try to get me a refund.  then I have to take the kids to daycare the rest of the summer, which is about 800$-900$ per month.  I just want to scream or cry, I do not know which.Crazymama, What makes me mad is that these clubs and organizations probably would not "kick out" someone with a physical disability. What our kids have IS a disability and some of what occurs is out of their control..... especially if you're trying to find the right meds, etc... this takes time and patience. I just feel it is discrimination to simply "kick a kid out"......ESPECIALLY WITHOUT A REFUND!!!!!!!!! I'd be making a lot of noise about THAT! I would also look into what exceptions they make for "Special needs kids". Sounds like a no tolerance deal and that is just WRONG!!!!!! This is certainly not YOUR fault! Keep us posted and Good Luck!

He will go back on Monday, and we will see how it goes.  The suspension was only for one day.  but it gets so old.  The club is closed the week of the fourth of July, so then it will be daycare.   Sometimes I wonder if things are always his fault, because he has been in so much trouble in the past.  The people at daycare like him and his sister and always seem glad to see them. 

Oh... good...... glad it's not a permanent suspension. I'm sure stuff like this gets to him as well. You hate to see your child in trouble all the time. I do hope you can find the right meds to help him. It's not a "cure all" but on days when my son has forgotten to take them...... all hell breaks loose!!!! So I know we definitely need them!!!!!!

For the person who asked if ADD could be more, sure. There are many mimickers, and most professionals, especially pediatricians and non-MD psycologists (except for NeuroPsychs) will miss them because of lack of knowledge, and their own training which is limited to sore throats (pediatricians) and behavioral modifiction (psycologists and social workers and other talk therapists). NeuroPsychs are the exception. They are taught about things like ADHD and autism and most know about early onset bipolar, and they do extensive performance testing and observation, often taking many sessions, to pinpoint problems, weaknesses, strengths, and tend to be excellent at diagnosing ADHD and beyond. Extreme ADHD is usually more than ADHD or something co-morbid with ADHD. Stimulants won't help, or will worsen, kids with early onset bipolar, and their "crash" after meds is horrendous. They don't need the extra "help" with their rapid cycling. Violence is not part of the DSM description of ADHD. If a child is violent or so out-of-control that he's hurting people or swearing at teachers, it is prudent to have the child evaluated by a NeuroPsych to see if more is going on. If the child had speech delays and seems "very odd"  and completely socially inappropriate (not just ADHD socially inappropriate, but clueless) it's smart to check out autistic spectrum disorder with somebody who knows a lot about it--it is almost always mistaken for ADHD at first unless it is very low functioning and the child can't talk.As an aside, if a violent child who swore at the teacher were in school with my daughter or son (who has autistic spectrum), I would not want that child in class with my kid. It's the parents job to evaluate and treat the disorder causing it. There are alternative schools for kids who are out of control. If my own child were doing these things, I wouldn't expect him to last in mainstream classrooms, nor would I necessarily feel it best that he be allowed to go to places that overstimulate him. Looking at the other side of the coin, other parents are not going to want their kids around that, no matter what the reason is, and the child who is doing it will only lose more self-esteem. This is just my opinion--I wouldn't have a problem seeing that point of view. I think it's dumb to punish a kid for blurting out in class, but if a child assaults another student or the teacher or starts swearing, I don't want my kids around it, and I wouldn't expect others to put up with it from my kids. Good luck :)

MomWI38893.3779976852Some of us live in remote areas with no neuropsychs available.  The nearest one to me is 4-5 hours away.  Not everyone lives in areas with lots of services available.  It is also very expensive to travel.Yup. I can relate. I live in remote Wisconsin. If you're anywhere near a university hospital, they have them. If not, ya either take the trek or else you don't use one. I had to travel an hour and thought THAT was bad! Some clinics are willing to do long evaluations (such as six hours) all in one day. It's called a multi-disciplinary evaluation. I don't feel they are as good as NeuroPsychs (I took my son to one before the NeuroPsych), but they are far superior to just going to a ped. or talk thearpist. They are evaluated quickly in all areas and you get a closer picture than with somebody who is not testing at all, and just pulling a rabbit out of his hat, so to speak.

By the time we traveled for hours, I do not know if the evaluation would be accurate.  Once or twice we go to the coast, about 3-4 hrs away, and by the time we get there he is way wound up.

I'm sorry you are going through this right now.  I hope you can find some help and support to get through this. Does your son see a Psych.? Maybe his ped. can give you some ideas on what to do next? Sorry I'm not helping much. Thank you for the thought Joemom, but this is our third doc, in a way.  We went from a FNP to the MD that supervised him to the current doc who is very well known in the state, or at least I was told that, and came highly reccomended from several nurses I work with.  The scrip is hopefully in his office somewhere, and his secretary will check his messages and maybe find it.  No one is perfect, and doctors are people too.  This doc listens to me, and is not condescending to me and treats my son and I with respect.  I think my son is just very sensitive to stims.  He has been on Adderall reg and xr, Strattera, and I think I am forgetting something.  Now is on Wellbutrin and Focalin xr.crazymama, i hear you, i am going through the same thing and i need help, i have tried everything for my son to not get kicked out of programs, this week was the first week of summer camp and he got sent home on friday and 3 red cards during the week(not good) they said if he gets 3 red cards within the next 5 days he will get suspended for a week, i am on a very limited income and can not really afford this care place, however it was the cheapest around if he gets suspended for a week i have to put him somewhere else that costs more, plus my daugher as well because i dont want them going to two separate places.  i am a single mom, dad is supportive but live out of town, the only thing i havent tryed with him is anger management classes or some sort of therapy, that appointment is next week.  he is on meds has been from kindergarten he is now 7.  any dicipline i give him, from spanking, taking away his favorite things, punishment in his room, nothing i mean nothing works, i remind him everyday to walk away if someone makes him annoyed or angry, and that doesnt work, i told him to cound to ten, that doesnt work, friday, instead of hitting or kicking the person who made him mad he told him he was going to kill him.  he wasent serious of course only the school has 0 tolerance to open threats.  any suggestions from anyone please before i go crazy,,,, there has to be a way to deal with this!!!

I am new to this forum and have been dealing with ADD for a year, after reading some of the post and comparing to what I am going thru it make me wonder if they missed her ADD for something else. I will try to be brief as possible. My daughter is 7 years old  and is on 36mg concerta. In the begining, it was great a relief for me and her as well. SHe started at the end of 1st grade, she had to repeat first grade,this time she got a's and b's.  BUT, now that school is out  it has been very hard. She had some trouble sleeping before the meds and after taking it for a while the trouble got worse back.  She has gone from 5 hours of sleep a night to almost 1 or 2 hours of sleep, last night was the worst so far, she DIDN"T sleep at all. I have pleaded with the doctor about something to give her at night just to help her sleep, she won't do it. I have given her over the counter cold med to help her sleep, but won't do it everyday or everyweek, once in awhile. SHe gets violent, destructive, meaning while she is not sleeping she is,putting nail polish on her rug, or pouring hot fudge syrup on her carpet and rubbing it in, putting holes in her wall, hurting our dog(which I am surprised she didnt get bit yet). We have tried everything from baths , taking her toys away, talking to her,locking the refridge( yes she EATS everything that I have in the pantry, refridge.)putting an alarm on her door. I can't live like this anymore. She goes to counsiling and now we have another doctor appt with a psychiatrist. Her new peditritation wants her re-evalutated. She is also OCD which has gotten some what better. I can go on and on but will stop now, if their is anyone who has gone through some of this please help.

THank you

alice

I don't have the problem with school, she never acts out of control at school, talking yes but never disrespectful or violent

 

So sorry crazymomma.  It sounds like you are having such a hard time getting the meds right.  Do you think that a different doc might be able to help get the meds straight? Would a different stim work better? 

Hang in there.

I am so sorry-I really empathize.  The first time my son got the "boot" was at daycare.  It was a family daycare.  The provider said she just couldn't handle him anymore-but his twin was welcome to stay  He was about 3 then.  When he started Kindergarten we received a phone call the 2nd day from his teacher expressing her concern.  I can't tell you how many times he has been expelled from school from K-2nd grade.

He is unable to play team sports so we did gymnastics for almost 3 years until he got himself kicked out of that.  I just payed 0 to sign him up for Karate (tried before but he always had to sit out for not listening) now his almost 8 and on meds.  I told him he will pay me back every penny if he gets kicked out of Karate.

Everytime a phone call is paged for me at work during the school year everyone cringes because they know it's probably my son's school calling for me to pick him up because he is being suspended.

I have cried my eyes dry.  My partner is taking a FMLA for the summer so Erik doesn't have to go to childcare because he'll just get kicked out anyway!!!!!!!!

Big hug

hang in there

You didn't say how old your son is. I'm guessing 5-7. It will get better as he gets older. He'll learn more self-control and to wait for what he wants. But today he's driving you crazy. You didn't say if he was on any medication. I keep my daughter off of meds in the summer, but she didn't have the acting out stuff that your son does. So now I'm wondering, does he have a second diagnosis. Sometimes other things can look like ADHD. Oppositional defiant disorder, conduct disorder, depression, sleep disorder, even some allergies cause behavior problems, but it can  look like ADHD. THat's why the doctor is so important. Find a doctor who knows enogh to refer you to a psychologist. The psychologist will know if some other condition is going on. Most insurance will cover it, and Medicaid does too. Don't give up on the Boy's club yet. They receive federal funds and are obligated to follow the ADA guidelines, they can't deny services due to his handicap: and YES, ADHD is a handicap. They have to make special accomodations. Just go talk to them. Maybe tell them you'll take him to his doctor to get an eval or meds. Ask them to work with you, maybe keep him in mornings, and you'll find something else for the afternoons. Just to get you through the summer. Good luck.
He has a psychologist.  He is 8.  He has been on meds since September.  We just bumped him to 150mg of Wellbutrin.  I had cut his Focalin down to 10mg of the XR type, but now bumped it back up to 20mg.  He does not tolerate a large enough dose of the stimulant to control his symptoms without intolerable side effects.  He does have a second diagnosis of ODD.  They can't deny services due to his handicap, but if he is causing physical injury to the other children then they have to do something.  He has to be responsible for his actions and try to learn how to control them in some way before he gets older.  ADHD is the reason for his actions, but they are still his.  I did talk to his doc who reccommended upping the Focalin.  I then told him I would need another scrip as doc is going out of town.  He said he'd leave one at the office, and there was nothing there.  What next??/

We took my daughter back to the doctors and they took her off the concerta and had put her on focalin and prozac. That lasted for about 3 weeks and during that time, her doctor was waiting to see if she had bipolar disorder. She was uncontrolable, out of control and when we went back he had told us that is what happens when children with bipolar disorder take these to types of medicine. Now, we are dealing with and excepting Bipolar disorder on top of ADD and OCD. He put her on lamtrical and something to help her sleep at atarax. It's getting alot better. We had to repaint her room because she wouldn't go in because she was so afraid of the color purple. But, at least she is sleeping and destroying to much anymore.

Wish they had support groups closer to where we live but they don't.

alice