Unmedicated ADHD when its at its worst can be an awful thing to the child and the parent. Remember it begins usually before school age (around age 4/5 typically but others report younger). So your child has had to endure that foggy, uncoordinated and socially inept life for probably between 4 to 6 years now. That can make for a lot of resentment and anger.
But even ADHD free many children at age 9 begin to reach out and test boundaries as the self becomes solid. Options begin to be seen and they try hard to cross that line in the sand whenever they can. Parents job is to set boundaries and childs job is to try and usurp the parent lol. That's the glory of life isn't it?
ADHD will make your child flip channels like a couch potato on a boring monday viewing night. You'll see the whole spectrum and to the non-ADHD person I am sure that's frustrating and confusing. It takes a lot of love and patience to deal with one of us. My parents must have had much love and nerves of steel (I'm surprised my mother didn't drink like dad LOL). You deserve quite some credit for not giving up.
ADHD can in most cases be controlled med-free (just lots of sweat and tears) but really why put the child through the agony? When you start up meds again I highly recommend - HIGHLY - that you begin therapy as well. The meds give a peace and an anchor against the fog and urges but therapy helps unlearn the bad habits and behaviors. Don't cut her short on this please!
Best wishes to you both - it's not easy I truly know that.
Hello, This is the first time in many months that I have posted anything. I have an 8 year old son who takes adderallxr for about a year and a half now. We were very lucky because it has helped him tremendously. (He is somewhat impulsive also, so a little different than your daughter) But he too is moody. Actually, I am probably writing because today it has been a cranky day.
I have a 4 year old who is also impressionable, so I understand. I do think though that sometimes my 4 year old does not do things because he does not want to be reprimanded like his brother.
As far as discipline, the one thing that is so important is consistancy. It is tiring to always follow through but it is the only way any child knows we mean it.
I also do a sticker chart which we keep on the fridge. But remember 1 sticker at the end of the day is not enough. Break it up. We give a sticker if the morning before school goes well, homework, then evening. This way if the morning is awful, it does not mean the whole day is shot.
Good luck to you.
My daughter who just turned 9 was diagnosed in January of this year with adhd w/o hyperactivity. We tried adderall xr for a couple of months but the mood swings were unbearable. Her doctor switched us to focalin xr 5mg a couple of months ago, but I have not given her the new meds yet. We decided to finish the school year without the meds to see if she could control it on her own. She finished school with good grades. Since she has been out of school, she has gotten back to her old habits of being really spacey, pitching terrible temper tantrums when she doesn't get her way, screaming, slamming doors. I've tried taking away priviledges, grounding her, nothing seems to work. She argues with me alot. I say black, she says white. I also have a 3 year old daughter who is very impressionable right now and witnesses her older sisters tantrums.
Are these characteristics part of having adhd? I plan to start her on the focalin xr next week to get her adjusted before school starts back.
How do you discipline a child with adhd? Nothing seems to work!
Thanks for the advice everyone. I'm glad to know that I'm not alone.
AnotherMom.......What kind of discipline techniques do you use for your son?
For the tantrums and slamming doors have you tried just having her sit, facing the wall for a timeout for 9 minutes? And for the "arguing" with me, which I call back-talk, I just use soap in the mouth...I even kept a bottle in my purse for awhile...
Actually, I've been looking into cognitive-behavioral therapy recently, and that might be a good fit for her.
knm6413-
With the attitude, I do send him to his room. I feel this gives him time to calm down and to be by himself. It removes him from the situation and shows him I will not listen to him being fresh or hurting my feelings.
He had tantrums when he first started 1st grade and they ended a little while after he started meds. I really think he was trying to keep eveything together all day and then when he was home, somewhere safe he would loose it over the littlest thing. There was no talking to him so I would just let it go until I saw he was calming down and then we would sit and I would hold him and comfort him. There is a difference between tantrums that are for the purpose of getting what one wants and then what we decided was really more a meltdown.
At the time we were seeing a therapist (he was on the verge of a dx) and she felt I was doing the right thing. She said he had no control, so trying to do something only made it worse. But let me tell you it was so upsetting.
I try never to give too many warnings. Like I said consistancey. If he is not behaving I say we will go home and then we do. Or if I take away his icecream, he does not get it. Believe me there is no magic anwer. Nothing works all the time. I read suggestions in books and on websites and say to myself. Tried that, does not work.
Again, lots of luck.
Thank you.