any stories on adult adhd? | ADHD Information
Post stories on Adult ADHDWhat type of storiesMy office manager has been bugging me about how I work. My ADD charactristics really bother her and although I am her superior she is always bringing is up that I bounce around the office, can't stay on task but I do a great job. I have had great evaluations for the past four years and I have told her to back off. enough if enough. the next thing is to go to her supervisor but I find it hard to do since I have trouble doing those kinds of things. any suggestions?
zoomer
Zoomer, why don't you try talking to this work person and just ask her what it is that you seem to be doing that is a problem? How she thinks that you would or could do it different? Maybe you are irritating and just don't know this? ADD causes one to not react or respond to other people quickly or in some cases, as they think that you would.Try to understand other's and there opinions and it will help you to see if you do have a problem or if it is just her. My husband has spent a lot of time telling me that I am bugging him and not responding or doing things the "normal way". I got fustrated and felt that it was him, not me. But after talking to other people, I figured out, I did have ADD. So I got help and med's and now, I get it. We are both doing well.
Pepper
I believe that Pepper has the correct solution. I had that experience before and I know where that person is comming from. If you talk things through, this should reduce problems.I am 40. I had a head injury when I was a kid, for the past few years I have had many test to find out if I had any type of brain damage. No brain damage but ADD. What a shock. I am now woking with my shrink and going to be trying some meds. I can't wait.Hello everybody,
My name is Diego, I'm 29. I have been reading with great interest the posts in this ADD adult forum. There is very little information about that disease in Europe, for adults. We are probably 10 years behind you guys ;)
I have recognized myself in some stories. I haven't gone to see a doctor yet, so I don't know yet if I suffer or not from ADD. I have taken the survey at http://www.mindfixers.com/ and it says it is probable that I suffer from AAD.
I'd like to share a few things about me:
(in advance, please excuse me if my English is not correct)
When I was in kindergarten (in San Francisco by the way...) I was already quite dissipated. I was a bright little kid. I had very few friends. My mom was very overprotective; I don't remind having related much with my comrades. I also was an only child, so I used to play alone, in my little world...
Later at school, I remember that my teacher asked once that I had my audition examined. She had the feeling that I did not hear right! ;) On the contrary, I was often bored, and I used to daydream a lot. At 16, I remember once I was taking an exam, and there was recess outside. I stopped working on my exam until the recess was over (15 minutes!). I was too much interested by what was happening outside, the girls, students playing soccer or whatever. (Sitting by the window may be the worst thing for a ADD person! ;)
When I had to write an essay for an exam, I could spend 15 minutes before getting to write down the first sentence. I still have problems starting a task, especially if it not appeals to me.
I was very shy as a teen, had very few friends. I felt more comfortable with elder people than kids of my age. I used to go rowing all by myself on Sundays. I did not like too much company, mostly because I often felt inferior to other people.
After my mom died, when I was 17, there was nobody pushing me for my studies. (My father gave me some slack here, and I took profit of that). I had terrible grades and repeated twice my graduation year. I was a very lousy student during that year, but not in the courses that interested me. I managed to graduate comfortably though thanks to English, Spanish and Computer Science.
University was hell. There were merely no exams during the year, so I never worked as much I should have. Eventually I failed and had to turn to myself towards what was my sole interest in 1997: Tomb Raider, and the website I had made. I wasted 5 years in university…
I fortunately found a way to pursue some studies and get a diploma. But I nearly did not work for that diploma either. I succeeded because I knew the stuff before, on the side. (Computers, network, programming…)
At work: I can't manage to have a clean desk, nor to organize myself properly. As always, I delay uninteresting tasks (some may be important) until the last moment. I've always been like that.
I can’t stop from attending “urgent” things, while “important” things are waiting. It seems that the urgent things are always more interesting and exciting ;)
If something interests me I can put myself to work with great concentration. But I can delay bothersome things almost indefinitely.
I also tend to start many projects, and never finish them. I even can start doing something common as cleaning the apartment and end up writing a letter. If anything distracts me, I can't resist changing what I'm doing.
I like to multi-task and do things at the last moment. It’s like a bet.
If something bad happens, for example I get racketed in the subway by a group of villains, I keep thinking about it for years. If something upsets me, I can keep thinking about it for hours.
Sometimes I get upset too easily, for example if a car is parked on my way (pedestrian) over a zebra crossing. Or if someone is talking loud on his cell phone at the restaurant, or somebody is smoking near me when I am having lunch. I rarely protest, but I can spend quite some time thinking about what I could have said… even hours later.
Often when in a conversation, I can't help myself from switching to a personal thought if it crosses my mind. I also tend to interrupt if I have something important to say. I try to behave myself bu then I get quite anxious.
On the contrary from some people here, I’m not the kind that looses keys, or my belongings.
When it comes to anger, I can be very aggressive, even physically, but only when my almost endless patience has come to an end. That is when I may overreact.
I am unemployed right now. I am almost unable to organize myself for looking for a job regularly. I like to watch TV and movies a lot. I happen to stay late so much that I eventually invert things: I go to sleep at 8 AM and wake up at 7 PM. It’s like staying awake is the best way to make tomorrow never happen.
I never had insomnia, although I may sometimes spend a hard time trying to get asleep because of thoughts that struggle in my head. I unwillingly recall all my problems, and all the things to be done… it’s a painful moment.
When I was a kid, until the age of 15, I was never tired. After that I have been tired all along. Even small efforts, all the more intellectual efforts, tire me a lot. And there is always some sort of depression wandering not to far…
My friends are reluctant to call me at home because they are afraid to wake me up. I can be sleeping at any time of the day! ;)
Well. I’ll stop here. I have been very long enough.
I’d be glad to hear your comments. I’ll try to get an appointment soon with a psychiatrist in order to sort this out…
Cheers to you all, Diego.
I know what you mean. I hate to listen to people, not because I am not interested but because they take so long to say anything that I am ready to burst before I get to speak. I'm 47 and still run my mouth all the time. I have a large vocabulary but I get "spells" when I am lucky to find enough words to say anything (but I talk anyway *G) I am such a scatter brain that no one who doesn't know me would believe my IQ is over 20 sometimes.Then, just when I am ready to crawl in a hole and never come out, the real me shines thru and I still talk a lot but at least I make sense.
I should take meds but...I'm a disorganized procrastinator who keeps forgetting to make the appt. *G
I think it has taken so long to learn that I have ADD because I've been surrounded by other people with ADD my whole life. You get a bunch of us together and whoo-boy we can get talking. The holiday dinner table at my grandmother's house has always been a discussion involving 20 or so adults with ADD and about 50 simultaneous topics. Occasionally some weird outburst or strange noise that is part of someone's story will stop everybody cold in momentary silent awareness of the mad cacophony that we are trying to call "celebrating the holidays". I used to think it was all the "spirits", but then everybody grew up and got sober, and the din has only increased.
Anyway, in response to your post... wait, was there another post? Oh yeah, so about my family--hey, are you listening to me? No? Okay. Hey look a bird I'm going outside now, bye.--
I have to say I love this board!Do you all realize that when
we're together here, we are the
"normal" ones!!!!!
There is a chat room on www.brainchat.org for people with ADD. It is very rarely used. We should start going there so we can chat in very long, complex sentences that no one else woud understand.
There are three different levels of chat rooms. Its in the "classic" chat room section. Meet you there sometime?!
I can relate to barbs experience, i butt in and stop other people's flow because what they are saying interests me. i impulsively make a contribution. In one to ones i chat away then suddenly i notice i am not really engaging with the other person. my mind is else where. i realise the other person is talking but i am miles away. Spelling is the other no no for me a and e often do'nt fit where i put them.
I have a poor sense of balance. At 54 it is strange to be so chaotic. I never realised that the reason i marched to a different drum was because a part of my brain was wired differently to others. Now i know why? I am not saying days are not a challange and nights can be long when i am anxious but at least i have an apt reason for it all.
ryan
I hate listening to people too, specially my mom. As a mom she has to get everything out in a certain way so that she makes sure I clearly understand. And she tends to go into to much detail that I do not need to know. I end up tuning her out and only remembering that she wanted me to do something, but not what.
Diegovd, I do the same thing at night. I can't stop my brain from working long enough to fall asleep. The days problems, sometimes weeks or months, flood in and I can't turn it off. I as well often remember problems throughout the day, thus causing me to space sometimes, and I try and figure out what I could have done at the moment.
Learning in highschool was bad enough. But college as been a real trial for me that I haven't realized until now how many problems I really have in SUCH an unstructured period of time.
Has anyone else been diagnosed with and took med's for ADD/ADHD when they were kids then stopped taking them through their teens? I wrote an intorduction that would probably go better here than where it is which explains my time as a teen and what it was like not believing you had ADD anymore.
It feels pretty good knowing that I'm not what a lot of people think I am; lazy, immature, a complete mess(my room is horrible). I hope that people realize this as I have.
Ken
I laughed soo hard reading the last two posts. Boy,could I identify. I thought of the scene on 'A
Christmas Story" where the boy who wants a b-b-
gun for Christmas actually asks 'Santa' for a foot
ball.(what was I thinking)
-songwriter
Good afternoon, my name is Mike and i just recently just made a decision to get reevaluated for ADHD.
Lets first begin though, to where it all started at. It was in second grade and I was diagnosed having childhood ADHD. This is where I began the process of modification, therapy, and dealing with my ADHD. As time progressed and I got older my ADHD was being well documented and became easier to manage. It was not until my 8th grade year that problems began to arrize. I began rebelling and not wanting to take the medication. Thinking that I was different in some way. I did as I wanted and not paid attention to what was going. I felt at that time I did not fit in. My self conscious and impulse overrode any views that were being expressed by others, I did not want to listen. ADHD had made me feel different and I did not want to cope with it. I was thinking that medication was making me feel like an outsider. It was not until the summer after my 8th grade year I finally came to terms. What finally made me come to terms with me was that I was not the only one. That epiphany came over the summer in a very strong way. I went thru a summer long behaviour modification summer camp. The summer camp was out in Delaware. It was there then I realized that other adolescents with some other form of disorder were dealing with there's. They were managing and controlling themselves....... as common with ADHD, i dont want to finish this right now.
[QUOTE=Diegovd]Hello everybody,
My name is Diego, I'm 29. I have been reading with great interest the posts in this ADD adult forum. There is very little information about that disease in Europe, for adults. We are probably 10 years behind you guys ;)
I have recognized myself in some stories. I haven't gone to see a doctor yet, so I don't know yet if I suffer or not from ADD. I have taken the survey at http://www.mindfixers.com/ and it says it is probable that I suffer from AAD.
I'd like to share a few things about me:
(in advance, please excuse me if my English is not correct)
When I was in kindergarten (in San Francisco by the way...) I was already quite dissipated. I was a bright little kid. I had very few friends. My mom was very overprotective; I don't remind having related much with my comrades. I also was an only child, so I used to play alone, in my little world...
Later at school, I remember that my teacher asked once that I had my audition examined. She had the feeling that I did not hear right! ;) On the contrary, I was often bored, and I used to daydream a lot. At 16, I remember once I was taking an exam, and there was recess outside. I stopped working on my exam until the recess was over (15 minutes!). I was too much interested by what was happening outside, the girls, students playing soccer or whatever. (Sitting by the window may be the worst thing for a ADD person! ;)
When I had to write an essay for an exam, I could spend 15 minutes before getting to write down the first sentence. I still have problems starting a task, especially if it not appeals to me.
I was very shy as a teen, had very few friends. I felt more comfortable with elder people than kids of my age. I used to go rowing all by myself on Sundays. I did not like too much company, mostly because I often felt inferior to other people.
After my mom died, when I was 17, there was nobody pushing me for my studies. (My father gave me some slack here, and I took profit of that). I had terrible grades and repeated twice my graduation year. I was a very lousy student during that year, but not in the courses that interested me. I managed to graduate comfortably though thanks to English, Spanish and Computer Science.
University was hell. There were merely no exams during the year, so I never worked as much I should have. Eventually I failed and had to turn to myself towards what was my sole interest in 1997: Tomb Raider, and the website I had made. I wasted 5 years in university…
I fortunately found a way to pursue some studies and get a diploma. But I nearly did not work for that diploma either. I succeeded because I knew the stuff before, on the side. (Computers, network, programming…)
At work: I can't manage to have a clean desk, nor to organize myself properly. As always, I delay uninteresting tasks (some may be important) until the last moment. I've always been like that.
I can’t stop from attending “urgent” things, while “important” things are waiting. It seems that the urgent things are always more interesting and exciting ;)
If something interests me I can put myself to work with great concentration. But I can delay bothersome things almost indefinitely.
I also tend to start many projects, and never finish them. I even can start doing something common as cleaning the apartment and end up writing a letter. If anything distracts me, I can't resist changing what I'm doing.
I like to multi-task and do things at the last moment. It’s like a bet.
If something bad happens, for example I get racketed in the subway by a group of villains, I keep thinking about it for years. If something upsets me, I can keep thinking about it for hours.
Sometimes I get upset too easily, for example if a car is parked on my way (pedestrian) over a zebra crossing. Or if someone is talking loud on his cell phone at the restaurant, or somebody is smoking near me when I am having lunch. I rarely protest, but I can spend quite some time thinking about what I could have said… even hours later.
Often when in a conversation, I can't help myself from switching to a personal thought if it crosses my mind. I also tend to interrupt if I have something important to say. I try to behave myself bu then I get quite anxious.
On the contrary from some people here, I’m not the kind that looses keys, or my belongings.
When it comes to anger, I can be very aggressive, even physically, but only when my almost endless patience has come to an end. That is when I may overreact.
I am unemployed right now. I am almost unable to organize myself for looking for a job regularly. I like to watch TV and movies a lot. I happen to stay late so much that I eventually invert things: I go to sleep at 8 AM and wake up at 7 PM. It’s like staying awake is the best way to make tomorrow never happen.
I never had insomnia, although I may sometimes spend a hard time trying to get asleep because of thoughts that struggle in my head. I unwillingly recall all my problems, and all the things to be done… it’s a painful moment.
When I was a kid, until the age of 15, I was never tired. After that I have been tired all along. Even small efforts, all the more intellectual efforts, tire me a lot. And there is always some sort of depression wandering not to far…
My friends are reluctant to call me at home because they are afraid to wake me up. I can be sleeping at any time of the day! ;)
Well. I’ll stop here. I have been very long enough.
I’d be glad to hear your comments. I’ll try to get an appointment soon with a psychiatrist in order to sort this out…
Cheers to you all, Diego.
[/QUOTE]
Hi sorry for such a long post everyone. Is Diegovd still around? This is pretty important I have ADD and I think my Dad did as well. What I am writing about is you must see help ASAP why? because my dad was just like you would stay up all night every night until mid morning and sleep the rest of the day which destroyed his life completely I haven't spoken to him in years but the last I heard we was injecting speed to stay awake during the day when he would have to go somewhere the take other drugs once he got home I just don’t want to see anyone else like this if you want to talk feel free to contact me on MSN my email address is james_not_marc@hotmail.com. I am also worried about this happening to me it is becoming more and more common for me to be going to bed around 3-4am and waking up at 8am to go to uni or work.
I to work in IT i love parts of it but now can't get motivated to do anything 
Anyway people I hope we can help Diegovd.
Thanks Marc
Whats_My_Name38101.7552199074Man I am so glad I'm not the only one anymore. I don't have anyone that really understands what I've FINALLY been able to realize.
Its even worse going throughout the day and realizing what is happening as you do it. Stuttering over what to say at work because you want to get to the next thing. Repeating things you've said then realizing you have said that already, maybe a minute ago! Putting something down 5 seconds ago then wondering where you left it.
How has anyone dealt with relationships?
Ken
Hello all,I'll ask in advance... Please forgive the long post.
My question will make more sense if you know a bit about me. I have included many details so that the contrast between "then" and "now" is more apparent.
I am 31, and I believe I have ADHD.
First the story, all through school I exhibited symptoms. Incredible potential, no homework, weak test scores, usually (often the less I studied the better I performed on exams, I am unaware if there is a tie-in).
My Junior year of high school I became a whitewater raft guide. After going at it for a few months, the guide skills were there, but I had complaints from customers that, "I was to technical", (I guess I was, People do not relate to rafting as a mathematical metaphor hehe) My boss asked me to "dummy up" so I did. People didnt seem so stand-offish, plus beeing a raft guide self esteem was plentiful, so all in all things worked out.
My senior year, I wanted to prove I could. I undertook a massive course load. (I graduated with 5 years of math and 8 years of science from high school...). I needless to say, fell flat on my face. I am not sure how I got out of high school, it was partly cheating, and partly grace of the teachers I think... because my coursework was very poor. (Though I excelled in Physics with an A+. Ironically my 8th grade science teacher, whom i respected, commented about the difficulty of getting an A+ from the physics teacher) While attending school my senior year, I felt the tension increasing again. Paranoia. Angst. I equated the feeling with the onset of winter (needed to kayak). Summers were free, happy, warm... winter was the antithesis of white water rafting. Unless you ski. Another story.
My step-mother soon became pregnant and any money that was saved for college had to be re-routed. I joined the Marine Corps. While always active with my raft guide buds, I undertook a self-inflicted training regime... I started to run. We are not talking forest gump, but before I flew away to bootcamp I was running for 8 hours no problem. (65 miles mountainous)
In bootcamp the most difficult part was adjusting to a sleep schedule. Bootcamp was nothing compared to area 52 guard however. I guarded an empty armory (they were deployed) from the hours of 1-4 am and pm. 2, 4 hour shifts. we were alotted 4 hours of sleep per 12 hour cycle (8 hours total in 1 day), in full gear (gasmask, flakjacket, rifle ...) the remaining 4 hours of that 12 hour time frame was spent eating and exercising. The armory emptied after 1 week and my services were no longer needed. I was still on guard duty but now I was supposed to be on a support type position.
I could not handle it. I walked around in a fog. I could not focus, I could not fully wake up, I learned to sleep while standing. I had hit a wall.
Previous to this incident (in bootcamp itself) I failed nothing. In fact I did well at almost everything. After guard duty, I was pretty shot. I failed the obstacle course, I failed land nav (I taught myself how to use a compass in youth I could not recall them), I didnt do very well.
After about a week of dragging feet, not talking, and absolutely miserable, I was my old self again, our platoon ran 7 miles with packs and gear. good to go.
while enlisted, i began racing bicycles on the local circuit. I became pretty good friends with some locals, joined thier team and began to compete. I would decimate them during training rides, but just watch and wonder during races as I flopped.
More training, modify the diet, all of course with cursory knowledge of nutrition. That which I learned out of a cycling magazine.
I (and this is not a lie much to my shame) figured that lactic acid and lactose have something in common, if you consume dairy products, you will have an increase in lactic acid in your muscles. Lactic acid causes the "burn". I omitted milk and cheese from my diet. (After tonights research, I have learned that these are used in some way to make seratonin. Not the best of plans while entrenched in a 5 year enlistment, depression, anger...
all those elements that comprise the dark side of the force right?
Testing out the above theory one day, I had just bought a heart rate monitor, I decided to see what the old ticker could do. Going down the back streets of Kailua on Oahu is something that most should experience, the slalom between cars and cocoa-nuts, sprinting every MPH sigh, bridge, green light, and female on a scooter... The road flattened out for a good 1 mile stretch. I pedaled with everything that I had, out of the saddle, perfect round strokes, using all the muscles to propel the leg ever faster, I looked down and the heart rate monitor said: 211. I was 23.
I might have had a chance in 'cycling with a coach and dietician. As it stands however, I have been questioning since that time, whether or not I "broke something" in me. Not the heart-rate test example above, but while cycling as a whole.
Looking back on life, I exceled where others failed. My family did not read very much, I became a book worm (my decision to read at the time was based off the precept that reading is work and most people would prefer not to). I became a physicist, because it was seen as difficult. I taught myself to play chess by reading the manual at 8.
I was transferred to Okinawa, I quit riding my bicycle (while in hawaii I would average 150-300 miles a week). I went crazy. didnt know what to do. started drinking. drinking has been something haunting me since my junior year (rafting).
Anyways, I taught myself computers, holed up in the barracks while in okinawa. I taught myself hardware maintenance, batch files, and finally C++. I taught myself in 4 years enough that when I left the armed service I became a computer Instructor.
All things were going great, had a challenging job that payed well, something i wanted to do.... when suddenly, I got a DUI.
I should not say suddenly... It was a long time in the making. There is a summer, that I cannot particularly recall due to alcohol. I worked, sober. Just dont remember.
Here I am, ignorant of the law, and unwilling to find out what must be done. The overwhelming feeling of simply paying a stupid fine. Oh how I wish I could. As a direct result of all my choices before and after that oh so fateful DUI, I am what I have become today...
I do not have a license (need to pay the fine), I do not have my jeep any longer (repo'd),( when I was in korea and away from a US mail box I discovered that men in Black suits do not come to take you away when you fail to pay a bill on time) that is to say, terrible credit rating.
Oh yeah, I no longer have a job and my unemployment has run out. A friend (ex-student) has taken me in, and I live in his attic. I have not talked to my mother in about 5 years due to what was involved (and witnessed) during the divorce, pre and post.
I have a project I have started that will pay the bills, conceivably even pulling me out of debt so that I do not have to declare bankruptcy. I have started on it. It is a big, massive, project.... get it?
I got my DUI 4 and a half years ago.
I am hopelessly stuck in this catch-22 situation! I can not get work without a vehicle, i can not get license without money, or new clothes...
I will stop there, as I am sure you get the picture. My questions now are these.
I have ran naked down a pier during a typhoon crying out in joy as the storm throbbed and swelled around me, now I prefer not to leave the house. Why?
I seem to have lost my "zest" for life. I once told my (now ex) girlfriend that I seemed to "love less, it was not her fault, it was something I could not explain." Not real bright on that...
I didnt care if I showered anymore, I kinda shaved.. sometimes, barely tolerating the world...
I have now perfected my defense mechanism. ( I have not owned a phone now for over 3 years. I had not opened an envelope in the last 2, I would simply throw my mail away.) I would not answer the door when freinds came over, I would hide in my bedroom.
I lived so slovenly that I blew the final chance for my high school honey (different GF than the one I insulted above). She looked in my kitchen (which I had blocked with a sheet) and pretty much never came back, wait jumped the gun, thats not true, she did come back, we spent an incredible summer together, I could not get it together, i could not focus, i could not find those things in life worth finding even while i knew where i could find them yet not lacking the willpower or desire to go and enjoy life again. I was busy reading between the lines of action and re-action, got stupid and made a scene, she could not wait for me forever.
I did not do drugs.
Ironically, once I did do drugs I started to figure a way out of this mess...
... Did I say I live in my friends attic? I do not leave his property (think 24/7 house arrest), about 1/2 acre in south central suburbia. I hate cities. Always have. I yearn for the pine scented air, where I can run free... (I am effectively as trapped as I can possibly get at this very moment. I injured both knees cycling, I still have the bikes but can not ride them really anymore). I think I have my 2nd-4th cavities eating my teeth now. I have not been to a doctor in 7 years and then only for an anti-biotic.
My friend that bailed me out comes from my intellectual side. When I am cooped in doors I feel the beast waiting to be unleashed, to climb a tree, to do something physical... need to drive so i can get to a river, kayak.
well here I am babbling... and crying... not making a whole lotta sense.
If I see a doctor, can I get my old life back? I do understand that any form of progress requires comittment and resolve.
Rivers are central in my outlook on life. You can learn anything you need to know, from nature. When I spend time out of doors, life comes alot easier than if I am cooped up.
Do I have something wrong with my brain/chemistry/...? Or is this my ultimate excuse? Should I live outdoors 24x7? (im at peace outside).
i have spent many hours on this, stayed up all night on this in fact. not what i wanted to do, I wanted to get my sleep schedule back on track.
Im not going to proof-read this, apologies all around, especially to all those english (grammar) teachers classes I was so bored through.
Peace,
JB.
PS. I *know* what I have to do, I *cant* do it. Why is my outlook on life so much opposite how it was?
PPS. Have I just simply given up?
HaveQs38102.2987731481JB,
It sounds BiPolar to me. I
have family memebers who are BP
and have researched it
extensivly.
I am not a dr and can't dx you
but I think you should get to
one fast. If you don't have BP
you could be in a serious
depression or have something
else.
The periods where you can do
and achieve anything and then
the ones where you can barely
function are not normal.
There are free clinics around.
Please go to one ASAP. They can
do tests to find out what it is
for sure, even if it is a combo
of things.
Let me assure you it isn't
some whacko form of insanity as
in you being "crazy". It is a
chemical/ electrical problem.
The right meds can really make a
difference. You will be happier,
more content and able to
function on a more even keel.
I have a nephew who was
totally out of control of his
life. He is doing great now.
Meds and therapy to strengthen
coping skills can improve your
life dramatically..
Please try. This isn't
something you play with. BTW-
Patty Duke Astin is BiPolar and
look at what a smart, creative
woman she is! I'm sure there are
many more famous, successful
people who are BP.
Let us know how things are
going, ok. You have way too much
going for you to spend your life
living in someone's attic. I
think you will be noticing a
diference in a reasonably short
space of time.
Barb
Reply to Marc
**********************************************************
Hello Marc, I appreciate a lot your interest. (Hopefully nobody said nothing about you quoting all my entire message, you could have cut it a little bit ! ;)) )
I am sad to hear about your father. I suppose he needs help more than I do (I don't do drugs). I specifically think, if he is living alone, that he needs company to stabilize his life mode. It is since I am living by myself, that I tend to stay up late, and even later, untill I completely reverse the AM-PM thing. That happends obviously on vacation, not when I work. But I do tend to go very late to bed even when I have to work. That means only 5 or less hours sleep, when I usually need 8.
I have not posted further messages in this board, partially because of another post called "Everyone and a friend have ADHD". I prefered, by respect for people that have already been diagnosed, and that have stronger symptoms that I have, not to post untill I get myself analysed by a competent doctor (That should come soon, since I finally found a couple of psychiatrists in Geneva that are familiar with those cases).
But, since I am typing, I wish to contribute with two elements that are a real problem to me in the daily life:
1.- Procastrination, I really have a terrible time doing important, but yet uninteresting, things. I am "The last minute man" ! ;) It is somewhat destroying my life.
2.- Frustration, I can get very easily upset by for example another car driver that acts irrespectfully. Or parents that wear seat belts but not make their kids wear it (how can parents give less security to their children that to themselves?). I easily tend to get obsessive about disrespect, unjustice, or personal affective problems. I tend to be quite agressive if I eventually go and speak my mind to the person. Or on the countrary, keep all the anger to myself, but then act meanly or stupidly against somebody else that comes along and does just a little annoying thing to me.
Whatever. All this is for my psy, I won't post unusefully here anymore untill I know what I exactly have got. If I did post here on the first time, it's mainly because of the quality of this board and the people, and because there is very little information about adult ADHD in Europe.
Thank you all, and Marc please find a way to go to bed on time. Do some sport, go out, take some sun bath, see your friends, get happier allaround, and don't be afraid of the next day to come! ;)
Take care. Regards, Diegovd ;)
Diegovd38102.3998958333HaveQs / JB, I tend to agree with Barb about bipolar but as she said, we're not doctors so we can't diagnose you and don't really know. It does not sound like the ADD I was just recently diagnosed with, but it does sound a lot like what my bipolar friend described to me.
One thing I can say is that I'm truly amazed at brain chemistry. My symptoms of ADD include a small amount of the usual (a bit scattered -- I like to call it having a wide variety of interests ;-) but a lot of frustration and irritation with small things others call trivial. I'm amazed at the difference in my emotions that small amounts of chemicals make. And now I know why I always liked stimulants and alcohol.
So I'll venture out on a limb and say "yes", it is something in your brain chemistry. I prefer the term "imbalance" to "wrong", but they are essentially the same.
Again I agree with Beth, go see a doctor ASAP. They wont judge you, they are there to help. With the right meds you will feel 100% better.
Erik
Hello HaveQs,
Like the others, I'm no professional but...
I would tend to agree with the possibility of Bi-Polar. I think I can speak from some personal insight.
It is not uncommon for people with ADD to be misdiagnosed as having Bi-Polar, because we also tend to pour ourselves into projects and then burn out. I think the distinction, medically speaking, is the degree and nature of these highs and lows. I also know that an initial condition of ADD can develop into other issues including depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and bi-polar when left untreated.
As a counselor once suggested to me, I believe these things are not absolutely black-and-white, but run along a continuum.
My diagnosis, officially, is "ADD, primarily Inattentive-type, with dysthemic depression".
I can relate somewhat to your experiences in nature; I ran a residential camp for sixth graders for five years. Some of my most "spiritual" experiences have occured on a 5-day backpacking trip, on the river (we do canoes here because there's not much white water), or while mountain climbing.
Furthermore (as these things are genetic) I have received letters from my older brother after he has stood in the rain or at the edge of a volcano crater, crying at their beauty.
My younger brother, on the other hand, has just moved home because he was becoming "unable to function". He was diagnosed early in life with ADHD, and took Ritalin throughout school, but gave it up at age 20 in favor of marijuana and alcohol. He has recently been diagnosed with "Severe Depression with mild Psychosis", though I imagine his diagnosis will change somewhat when he has a little sobriety unde his belt.
Whatever the nature of the beast, and whatever the diagnosis, a few things are clear in my opinion/experience:
- If you want to live to a ripe old age, and to prosper, help is needed
- That help may take many forms, including but not limited to therapy, support groups, spiritual practice, and medicine.
- In our modern world, professional help--the therapy and medical components-- are essential.
- Depending upon the "nature of the beast", or your disposition or diagnosis, different treatments are required, and you and your doctor will likely have to go through some trial and error
- We are not "bad", or "defective" in any way; in the long run, we are simply people who have to take medicine, much as millions of others with diabetes, sickle-cell anemia, etc., etc. If anything, we are deserving of a better life.
- Our experiences are real, valid, and part of the fabric of our lives. In many ways, they make make us more human, or richer in experience and compassion, than some.
- It takes a lot of courage, and a lot of perseverance, to pursue help and recovery. But the consequence of not seeking help, or "suffering silently", is generally dispair or worse
- In the end, the reward, serenity and deep satisfaction, will be worth the effort.
Sorry if any of this sounds like proselytizing, but I believe anyone in pain owes it to themselves to get the help they deserve; until we are whole we cannot give back to others.
I wish that you soon begin to find your solutions.
Peace,
-tactile jones
Hi Diego
sorry bout that I should have qouted a bit. Anyways the problem with my father is that you can't live with him because he brings you down, I mean really down. My Mum lived with him for yearsa and tried to help but couldn't he also has other problems part from ADD. He is the type of person that can never by wrong and i mean never he would always end up fighting physically with people also he said he would kill my mum so that was the end of dealing with him
Diego, I have a lot in common with you especially the anger part. I completely made an ass out of myself in public this week-end. I was at local store with my husband and he did something stupid and I just completely lost it and started yelling. I am ussually the quiet type but when i loose it I loose it. I am so embarrassed now. Nb- My house is in total chaos. I am such a slob. I am able to keep my workspace ok but home is a mess. I can't even stay still long enough to brush my teeth. I start brushing one bathroom and end in another. no 1Also, my memory is crap. I can not remember where I left my keys, ect. Strattera helps some but I am still a one woman circus show some days. I also take Concerta. Some days I cant remeber if I took my estrogen or not. At least we have each other.I've got to agree with yall on the difficulty speaking. I'm an academic and in my field of endeavor little nuances of expression matter a great deal. When presenting my work, I have to be terribly cautious about not seeming to claim to have proven something that I haven't, so I can't get casual about the language. It's almost like legal-speak sometimes, and I have a difficult time of it.
What I have found works best for me is to defer as many questions as I can to email, under the excuse that I'd like to check my numbers on specific points. It makes me seem rather kooky, I am sure, but it keeps me from stepping in rhetorical doo-doo most of the time. People get used to the way you like to work, and learn to send questions through email, so it becomes less of a problem. I try to be very good about giving people alot of attention in emails to make up for this trouble I cause them.
A question if I might trouble yall: I'm not really a funny guy in general, but tolerably entertaining in most settings. But I've started to be bothered by a trait I have, and I think I have detected it in a couple other ADHD folks I know. I think it must be something to do with the mental wiring. I seem to be the first person to laugh at other people's jokes by an awkward half-second or so almost all the time. It's not just that I find other folks funnier than most people. I don't laugh inappropriatly hard at things; I just start sooner. I think it makes me stick out a bit more than I would like. As I said, I think I have noticed the same trait in other ADHD folks, just thought I'd ask if yall ever felt the same.
-Don House
Don't worry about being the first one to laugh. That is not so unusual. My best friend is what I call a "gusher". She does not have ADD or ADHD but when someone tells a joke she is the first one to laugh. She just explodes, her whole face changes and her mouth opens. She is just so expressive. I tend to be more subdued unless I really know someone. There is something on ebay that is hilarious right now. You should see it if you have time. it is at
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=41467 56343#ebayphotohosting
it is not x-rated or anything, it is just clean and funny, I promise.
It just depends on whether its a good day or a bad day for me. I must say I love to laugh though!
Don, I am 54 and have still got hair trigger reaction to jokes. Sometimes it can seem facile and over the top, but sur thats ADD for ye Eh!
Dixie, that ebay thing is weird, but don't we all need a good laugh to get rid of the "grumps" Peoples reactions are what makes us interesting. I grew up with an old saying "variety is the spice of life" and hell that ad on ebay sure proves the saying.
Barb, Funny you say that your reactions may sometimes seem off, that can be me too. sometimes gags go right past me and i do'nt get what other folks are laughing at. That really makes me stand out in a crowd. Silences that follow are upsetting. It really racks me off when it happens and i am Grump with me for letting it happen "once again" But then something breaks the cycle and i get back on track again. ryan
. I have to write down my boss's instructions for any little thing or I will promptly forget. I have a million post it notes and I also have the worse time with important dates. Since I have had my foster to adopt children (2 years)I have to keep a list of their birthdates (especially the years because they are so close). I have a 2,3, and 4,year old. The 3 year old is what got me diagnosed. She has a lot of ADHD tendencies but her therapist does not think she has it but I do. I make lists but lose the lists so I am not doing as well as I would like. when the kids teacher sent a note home saying for the month of February my son has to wear a certain color each week I almost freaked. I am like....He is doing good to be dressed lady. I am so unorganized and cant be still long enough to brush my teeth. I frequently leave my dental floss container in the strangest places. I often wondered why I could not be still when I brushed my teeth and flossed.
Aha! Now I now why I could barely string a sentence together during my teenage years! Well, in certain company, anyway - If I felt even slightly nervous, I would become a stammering mess. Could also have something to do with the fact that I was born with some not uncommon tongue condition - the bit of skin that joins the tongue to the bottom of the mouth is connected to the tip as opposed to halfway down. However, I overcame it by mastering the art of talking incessantly. Not quite mania, but getting there - almost a case of talking over the top of everybody else so i wouldn't have the chance to get nervy and start stammering. This drove friends barmy for some time, but I started working on my listening skills when I was in my early 20s (after a friend verbalised his irritation, and quite irritably too!). Now I'm fine, although I can still get onto tangential rants which confuse everyone but me. Ritalin has worked well for me, and actually slows me down to the point where I can choose a word before saying it, or maybe not say it at all. Restraint was never my best point.
Zoomer, I know how this feels. Ask your health care provider for a referal to a doctor who treats adult ADD. It will change your whole life. Read about ADD and learn all you can so you can discuss it with your doc.
oldman565
oldman5638030.4020023148
I often do not speak up or join conversations because I think I'll sound like an idiot. I can never remember quotes or items mentioned on the news so I end up stating half of the info wrong, which makes me sound stupid. My short term memory is awful.
Tasks at work and at home go unfinished. I have to make very forceful efforts to complete a task or follow through something. I don't have much confidence in my work, I feel like my coworkers know so much more. I work with computer networks, which requires continuous training and study. I really have to force myself. I just turned in my yearly evalutaion 10 days late :(
It's very disheartening, feeling like I am using only a small portin of my brain... very frustrating.
I am a 41 year old woman. I was a messy kid and my mom always called me a slob. I am very social, have always been in sales, been successful in career and school, but friends laugh and say..."your a mess" well that felt like sh*t to me. I wish I was more organized. I make a good deal of money but dont manage bills well. I am embarrassed about all of my clutter. I try so much harder than my counterparts to get things (paperwork). An old boyfriend gave me the test but said when I didnt show ADD I was in denial (he had very severe add) My exfinace gave me the Women with ADD book, I got angry... finally, in a job interview with Eli Lilly, I was given a Stratterra marketing piece that I had to "detail" the manager with...I read it over and over again...I have this, I am not just a loser who cant get it together. There is a lot of shame involved e here. My current beau, is awesome and knows my weaknesses, and says...Lets do it together... I will help you. (this one could be a keeper!!).
So many adults with ADD are so charismatic, have many friends and are often very loved for there warmth, generosity and enthusiasm. Lets face it. we are an AWESOME breed. I believe daily life is harder for us... but thats just reality. I am glad to be a member here with all of you who are just like me. People who get it. We arent inadequate or deficient. We are just a little scrambled...but so loveable!!!
Hey, I am not liking Straterra, it makes me flat and really really fatigued. I am considering Adderal XL...could anyone share any info on that? I am afraid I will be jittery and am afraid of the long term effects on the heart. Please contact me at nbjazmin@aol.com with any info
Thanks! Happy Valentines Day~~
Hey beautiful, (had to say it ritalin gone hours ago). I have had the same exprience many times. I think it is a classic example of how we are affected by not having the right chemicals and the right place and time. So we punt and take any channel or path that works. This can be a real benefit if we are in a situation where thinking outside of the box or brainstorming is required. In an accepting environment it can be a lot of fun. Some will, some won't, whos next?
It might be similar to a person who stutters in that anxity seems to exascerbate the problem. ( I heard a great program on NPR written by a person who stutters and tried to order a pizza. He used a program which edited out his stutters and provided a smooth line of communication. He did such a good job in describing how the anxiety around a "simple phone call" for pizza was so frustrating. "Please don't hang up, I'm trying to get it out, wait for me to relax.")
wmp
wow! More and more weird things... I know this thing, I wanna say something, and my brain goes blank! I just lose track in the middle of the sentence. Or I speak German to someone suddenly, without noticing it. Or cannot think of a word (this happens a lot recently, also in class I start to say something, and in hte middle of it I lose track and kind of know what I wanted to say but cannot get the words out somehow. Weird feeling. Or, I remember things that haven't happened... has anyone experienced that? Spooky.So far the "best" bit was, though, when I woke up one night and there was NOTHING in my brain. Not a single thought. If anyone has ever experienced that, you will understand that I nearly freaked out.
Touchee Barb!
Buzz
you know that last post from "barb" was april of 2004, right? I got a story!Starts out with your typical, "all my life I was told I wasn't living up to my potential, I am always late with bills and have sometimes found my keys in the fridge, etc. etc."
I somehow got through nursing school and joined the military, still undiagnosed, as an officer and an RN. Like a typical ADD person I kept getting into trouble for my forgetfulness, disorganization and lack of attention to detail- all huge problems in the military. However, unlike a civilian, I wasn't likely to get fired because the military will only "fire" you if you do something extreme. In my case I just kept getting into trouble and given penalty assignments.
Well, it wasn't until 2 years in when I was deployed to Iraq for Operation Iraqi Freedom. All of a sudden the environment at work was more intimate, and I could no longer hide my ADD related deficiencies from the people who worked, ate, slept, and spent down time with me. Although I managed just fine when we took care of about quadruple our patient load at once, 400 some patients coming in over 3 days with maybe 20 nurses, during the fallujah assault, I forgot to give out an entire page worth of medications one day on a "down" day to an Iraqi prison patient. It was an honest mistake. I hadn't seen that there were 2 pages of meds, although I'd checked several times as I always do. However, it was a big mistake no matter how honest, and I got in trouble. Another small slip up later on prompted the captain in charge of me (I'm a lieutenant) to order me to Life Skills- in other words, the psych people.
I told her I wasn't crazy, depressed, stressed out, or having PTSD. In fact, I was almost enjoying the deployment. It could be stressful at times but no more so than work was back home. However, she insisted, and I followed orders.
I told the shrink I was completely fine emotionally, and explained that I had been sent there for problems concentrating which had ALWAYS been an issue for me. After talking for a while he started to read me the traits from the ADD list in the DSM-IV, which I'd studied years ago in nursing school and suspected of myself, posing the list of symptoms as questions. I interrupted him and told him I knew where I was going. He told me he'd just been diagnosed with ADD and wanted to make sure he wasn't over-identifying, so I went to the Combat Stress Center for an official diagnosis.
They put me on Concerta the same day as my follow up appointment, and I took the pill right away. Within an hour my roommate was gawking at me as I cleaned my room and got all my things organized. She couldn't believe the change. It was amazing.
2 months later I returned to the US and my regular job. All my coworkers thought I must have learned a lot in Iraq. They had no idea it was pretty much the ritalin that had affected that change!
[QUOTE=sonya_h]you know that last post from "barb" was april of 2004, right? [/QUOTE]
Sonya_h,
Funny you mention "barb", I learned a lot from her Heart and Head style of viewing
situations. I am dipping in and out of this place for the last 2 yrs and have used it
to break the isolation of being the only diagnosed Adult in my community where
this adhd profile is a seen in such a negitive light.
The experiences of others that i have read here and what they have attained as a
result of their efforts has been a beacon of hope at times when i reached brick
walls in attempts to manage my own adhd. It gave me confidence to face my own
"perceived demons", to get a formal diagnosis, to get on meds. Now i can start the
process of change, where needed, review and heal family relationships that need
to be healed. I can start to value my strenghts and creativity so i can be positive
when using them. I can, best of all, be me and know why i do the things i do the
way i do them. Stop being anxious and just have fun with me and others that
are close to me. Hey! i could go on and on and even bore the A-- off myself but
no more it's my time for the new me.
So as Sonya_h has highlighted. Barb come on back to us, those of us that know
of you value the way you contribute to our little world in here.
I am 35 and have recently been diagnosed (unofficially, until screening is 'graded') with ADD. I have always had difficulty in school and thought that it was just because I was boy-crazy and that was what was keeping me occupied. I also thought that I was just being lazy because I was tired all the time as well.
I have always been able to get by (barely) with work and relationships, usually changing who I was to accommodate the other person. This obviously made me depressed, for which I was on medication.
I have tried to take a few classed through the mail to further my education with disappointing results. I found it extremely difficult to stay on task and thought that I had all the time in the world to get it done so I just kept putting it off. It wasn't long before I just gave up. I have always dreamed of being something other than a secretary. I know that I am smart and that I can do more, but I can't stay focused enough to get anyone to recognize those strengths. I have always done well on my reviews, with the exception of the 'attention to detail' thing. That's always been a problem. But just recently I recieved my first bad review at work (she doesn't listen, she doesn't proof her work, she does thinkgs her own way, etc.) I went home and cried. I couldn't believe that I got 'caught' after all of the times I slipped by without my problems being realized. It was then that I decided to see my doctor about the problems with the focusing, not being able to finish projects or even start some of them for fear of my work not being good enough. I was also upsetting my friends more and more by interrupting them while they were speaking to get my thoughts out before they got lost. And trying to finish their sentences made it that much worse. It seemed like all I could do was be alone...that's what made the most sense. If I were alone, there wouldn't be anyone to upset, right?
My doctor gave me a referral for an ADD screening. I had never really thought that I could have ADD, but it wasn't until the doctor mentioned it that I decided that she might be right. I had my screening last week and I await the final results. But the doctor that did the screening said that she believes that my ADD is 'full blown'...whatever that means. Again, I went home and cried.
So now I'm just trying to get a handle on what ADD is all about and how it can be treated. She did give me a packet with 50 tips for managing ADD, which I found helpful. Some applied to me and some didn't, but the ones that did made perfect sense.
My husband has been so wonderful about all of it and I pray that he continues to handle it this well.
I am grateful for message boards like this one where I can see that I am not the only one. And if there are any other suggestions or resources that someone can send me, please do as I would greatly appreciate it.
creativity showing straight away, great strenght of adhd/add. welcome aboard the
adult section. Great news to hear that you are starting the process that will help
you to balance your percieved deficits with the other pluses of this so-called
disability. Pahhh! well remember this adders can outdo your average joe/joan in
the areas of human connectedness, see things others miss, brain speed is rapid
thinking is conceptual instead of Plod A,B,C. your hunger for more and more info.,
your above, from what i get from your post, your away above average Intelligence,
your sound sense of self-responsibility, ambition and boundless drive are there and
these will will prove your allies in the future as you learn to manage yourself in a new way. Getting this far is an attivement lots of people with add profile never
realise. well done in every sense of the word. It is positive push forward from now
on. you will realise in time that the driveness of add can be managed in another
way that suits your individual need. this drive/frustration with failure is something
that causes anxiety for some adders and adhders. Often it can become ingrained
and deeply reinforced. Well good news there are as many methods to manage this
as there are for other areas of add. Prioritize the area you will work on first and let rip with all the creativity and drive you do possess.
Sorry if this is a bit long,Stillmissing, but i am glad to share with you the positive
side of what you can do. Creative Thinking will find solutions you need.
Cheers, Stillmissing,