Help me figure something out | ADHD Information

You might want to look at Ogram's marble thread further down in this forum. I have included "fight with sister", "hit some one" and "talk back" on the list of things to lose marbles. I just have to remind them that it costs 3 marbles to fight and they stop. You could have a loss of marbles for inappropriate words as well.15 minate time out, dark room for a two year old! are you nuts!!!, she will have night mares, you'l scar her for life, NO, to that!

Soap -YES, my mother threatend me with soap when i was little & lived it through, i soon learned.A bar of soap.

Or salt, but then too much of that is bad for there health.

Maybe, taking away a privalige, everytime they say a bad word, like, no games/console for 20 mins, or no sweets, no park etc, BUT please dont put her in the dark. no I wouldn't put her in the dark. Maybe sit in a chair in the next room where i can see her.with soap what are you using?

I would immediately separate them when they start arguing/fighting. I mean out of eye sight.

I would also talk to each of them and name off the exact rude words that they cannot use. Tell them the "Smith" family do not use those words ever. And that if you hear them using one of those words, they will get soap in the mouth. And have a bottle in the car, in your purse, always accessible. Don't give them water to rinse it out. Every morning for awhile remind them when they wake up that they are not to use the rude words.

Then when that's fixed, move on to the hitting. 15 minute time out in a dark room for your daughter.

Then when that's fixed move on to the screaming. Soap.

My kids did the same thing.

I am so tired and sick of it. I don't know what to do. I feel like such a failure. All I ever wanted growing up was to be a mom. Now it's like what did I do wrong. My son has ADHD and my 2 Year old daughter doesn't so far. But that is a big But. They are about to drive each other crazy or me. They are fightening constantly. Name calling and this and that. I have no idea what to do. I have tried everything. My 2 year old has been really good since birth but now she is approaching her 3rd Birthday. She has started using all the nasty words that her brother uses. I am at my wits end. She is starting to talk to us just like him. Hubby is the same as me we just don't know what else to do. My son is on Strattera it seems to work but he still has a really bad mouth. The doctor said we need structure. So help me guys figure something out. Get me started in the right direction before I lose my mind.

OH also my little girl screams all the time. It's such a headach trying to figure something out. I am so afraid to go any where with them. I would take them to the movies or do something fun but they are always screaming or name calling. To us or each other. This makes no since because hubby and I have always been quit people. He and I were so good growing up. Our parents have said over and over again how good we were. Is this pay back for being good?

The kids love each other one minute and then fight the next. My little girl is so pretty but with the bad mouth she has come upon is so terrible. She isn't at all hyper but she is getting this ugly mouth and screaming that is driving me insane. Also she hits me and her dad.

Charlamb38894.4214236111I personally think the dark is abusive, and, if anyone found out, you could have CPS on you. The soap I'm not too crazy about either. Same thing. If she happens to say anything to a teacher, look out.

Oh please, what are you thinking mikmum? You are really tripping. Putting a kid who is almost 3 in her room, telling her to get in bed, and turning out the light for 15 minutes is not going to scare her to death. That's like saying naptime is going to scare her to death. I'm not talking about locking her in dark closet for Pete's sake.

Ogram's marble system is not going to work on a child this age, unfortunately. They really need some grasp of counting up to 30 or so to make that work.

A critical part of changing the behavior is to brainstorm with each child individually about what words are appropriate that they can use to express their feelings.

What can they say instead of namecalling? Then practice. "I get (angry/frustrated/etc) when__(describe behavior)." Simpler: "You are ___describe behavior__. Stop!" Simplest: teach them to use body and big voice to say Stop while putting their hand out like the traffic cop.

We also used to have "Talking Chairs" to help conflict resolution. They sat in two chairs facing each other, needed to pay attention to the speaker, each can tell their story w/o interruption, parent summarizes each for clarity, each takes a turn adding any more information, they can state that they feel upset (or whatever) when the other did something. Ask if the intent was to make one feel that way. An apology. Consider solutions and what could be done next time.

Simply put:
    tell the story
    how it felt
    what was the intent
    apology
    solutions
    future

I might not have the sequence exactly right but yu probably get the idea. This was used at dd's preschool and I adopted it at home with good success.

Sorry, but I have to chime in on the "in the dark" issue -- I'm sure that NoTellin did not mean a scary, pitch black room, alone, in the middle of the night.

I find the dark to be a soothing thing -- not pitch black, but just dark. There is not as much stimulation with the dark, and kids go to sleep in the dark anyways . . . my kids never had night lights and didn't have any trouble at 18 mos or 2 years with the dark. It should help to calm a child down -- but certainly if a child is afraid of the dark, then this is not a feasible solution. Perhaps the lights dimmed down low would be more appropriate for children who are afraid of the dark.

do you think that the strattera is working? Have you tried other medications? If not you may want to talk to your doc and see if something could help better. joemom38895.3132291667