EASILY OVERWHELAMED & GOES INTO MELTDOWN | ADHD Information

Thanks, Imac :) My theory is, if a kid has trouble making choices, try to narrow it down. I've had to deal with this all his life and he would stay at the store 24/7 with no decision, if left to his own devices .IMac38944.8390046296my daughter has no problem picking at the store, but then when we get home a week later she will tell me that she does not really like that____ because it is, to tight, itches, is to long, not the right color.... It can be real frustrating to go shopping with her and think things are set and then find out (after she has worn it and recepit gone) that she really does not like it. The new policy is to buy things and then wait two days to retry them at home before she decides. It seems to have helped, but only with the apility to return. I think soon she will be going barefoot if I can't find shoes she likes soon.

Unfortuanately, mine does too! Meltdowns are a way of life......

My son, on the Autism Spectrum, can not make a decision. I'm chiming in because so much hits home here . I don't believe it's sensory related. His SID has resolved about 80% and he doesn't try to leave stores and does swell in crowds, but he can't make a decision. It drives me absolutely nuts. What I do is look at my watch and say, "Lucas, you have five minutes to make up your mind or else I will give you two choices." He usually can't make up his mind so I pick out two items he can pick from. If he can't decide between the two, and, trust me, it happens, I tell him that I'll decide for him, and I do. It sometimes results in him finally saying, "No, ok, I know what I want" and getting something else while I'm heading towards the cashier. This has been going on since son was little with the only improvement being his ability to handle large crowds and stimulus. I think because he had so much intervention, it really has helped him in this way. I'm not sure why he can't make up his mind and am not convinced that, in his case, it's related to overstimulation. Even at home he has a hard time making small decisions. We had the same thing happen to us this evening. Out 9 year old son was allowed to choose a book at the book store but because there were so many choices, he couldn't decide on one. He kept getting distracted by the toys displayed near the books. We finally gave him a time limit and tried to steer him towards books we felt he would enjoy. He finally made a decision but it was very frustrating waiting for him to do so. It has been less than a year since his diagnosis and we are still learning how to deal with his personality.I find this funny. My ADD daughter always takes FOREVER to decide on ANY purchase. Used to be she'd walk up & down each toy aisle, carefully deciding which toy to buy. now that shes 12, its HOURS in each clothing store while she weighs her options. What I find funny is that I've always viewed this as a GOOD thing. I think its an asset that she carefully weighs her options instead of making a purchase she later regrets. I was surprised that everyone else seemed to view this trait so unfavorably.

[QUOTE=Misty22]I find this funny. My ADD daughter always takes FOREVER to decide on ANY purchase. Used to be she'd walk up & down each toy aisle, carefully deciding which toy to buy. now that shes 12, its HOURS in each clothing store while she weighs her options. What I find funny is that I've always viewed this as a GOOD thing. I think its an asset that she carefully weighs her options instead of making a purchase she later regrets. I was surprised that everyone else seemed to view this trait so unfavorably. [/QUOTE]

It isn't careful shopping. That is personality. What we are dealing with is sensory overload.

I think what is unfavorable is when it hits the "overwhelmed" aspect. When your brain shuts down, and you can't handle all the information. It's not fun for the parent dealing with a child melting down, and also not fun for the person who's brain shuts down in those situations.

On the other hand, yes, the weighing of decisions can be valuable. I am a good bargain shopper, because I can go from store to store, look at everything, decide which product is the best, and then purchase it. It drives my husband insane, but I get good deals. I enjoy myself when I can go by myself (no hubby or kids) and go to a lot of different stores, and take my time. I could spend an entire day just shopping for one specific thing.

It's not fun though if I'm not in the right type of store (like in Walmart), am rushed, or have one my kids that are getting unhappy (or hubby), and get completely overwhelmed and have to leave. Life doesn't always allow you to spend hours shopping for one thing, without any outside pressures, and that is when it is no longer favorable, or an asset.

Just my opinion of course, but it's one of the things that has been most distressing to me in my life, but yes, at times very enjoyable when I can shop how I want to.

I have a 9 year old daughter w/ADD who used to get so overwhelmed in the mall that she'd run away (at about age 4)--later on, she was treated for SI through an OT, and it has helped w/the overload!

Reisa described exactly what happens to me as well. I'm an adult with AD/HD too, and as Reisa said, when I'm in a situation like that my brain just hits a point that it shuts down. To many people, to many choices, to much stimulation, and my brain turns off. It's very overwhelming, and almost feels like your body goes into fight or flight mode. I've been known to leave a basket full of groceries and just walk out from being to overwhelmed. I rarely go to Wal-Mart now because I'm bound to get over stimulated. I pay a few extra dollars and go to the more quiet stores

Try smaller, lower stimulation stores, and make sure she isn't faced with to many decisions. That will probably help a bit.

Sounds pretty typical to me though

HI, I JUST WANTED TO COMPARE THIS ISSUE WITH YOUR KID'S.

WHENEVER MY 14 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER AND I GO TO A STORE OR MALL, MY DAUGHTER GETS SO OVERWHEALMED BY THE SITUATION. WEATHER ITS PICKING NEW SHOES AMONGST AN ENTIRE WALL OF SHOES, OR LOOKING FOR A SHIRT IN A BIG STORE WITH MANY RACKS OF SHIRTS.

FOR HER, LOOKING FOR SOMETHING IN A STORE IS LIKE TRYING TO FIND A NEEDLE IN A HAYSTACK. DOES YOUR ADD OR ADHD CHILD GET OVERWHEALMED AND FRANTIC LIKE THIS? SHE GETS INSTANT ANXIETY.

WE WENT TO THE MARKET LAST NIGHT AND I TOLD CHRISTINA TO GET IN LINE WHILE I WENT TO THE BATHROOM. WELL....WHILE I WAS IN THE BATHROOM, SHE COULDNT FIND AN OPEN CASHIER, AND WHEN I CAME OUT SHE WAS IN MELTDOWN.SHE WAS STOMPING AROUND, FACE RED, STEAM COMING OUT OF HER EARS, AND SHE SAID THE STORE WAS "STUPID AND GAY" AND "SHE WAS WANTED TO BURN IT DOWN" I HAD TO CALM HER.

DOES YOUR CHILD DO THIS? DOES HE/SHE GET OVERWHEALMED VERY EASILY? CONFUSED OR FLUSTERED? EVEN CRY ? WE HAVE A PARTICULAR ISSUE WITH STORES. SHOPPING ALMOST ALWAYS ENDS UP IN A TANTRUM.

THANKS FOR LISTENING, YOUR THOUGHTS ARE APPRECIATED. DEANNA

I also have a 9 year old daughter who gets overwhelmed in stores, and it takes her forever to make a decision. However, she loves to shop, and I find it difficult to get out the door without her if she knows where I am going. .IMac38944.8386689815My daughter melts down a lot but as for shopping she loves it. When it is decision time she gives us a blank stare and cannot make up her mind and it drives me nuts or she gets impulsive and grabs anything. Sometimes she is too picky that nothing is good enough for her so it depends on her mood. My girl is only 6.

I am an adult with ADHD. I would rather lose body parts than go to a mall, and I will only enter a large store during off hours without crowds. Meds help, but they don't block out too much stimulation. For me, there is just a certain point at which my brain simply refuses to filter or process any more inputs.

Once I hit that point, my brain will continue in "chaos" mode until I get at least a few minutes of real peace and quiet. And yes, I generally end up dropping whatever, cussing, and going outside for 15 minutes. If I walk around by myself and don't have to deal with anyone or anything for a few minutes, my brain "resets" itself. Then I can go back inside and finish my shopping.

Best wishes, let us know how it goes.

My 9 year old daughter is the same way about getting overwhelmed when picking out something. She can't make a decision and takes for ever to find what she wants. Right now because of her age, I find it easier to shop for her alone, without her or her sister. I'm sure in a couple of years, that will not work anymore. You are not alone.

I'm like that, and I don't have add/adhd. I think for me, it's probably some sort of sensory overload - I don't do well in crowds, or stores etc.

I would suggest you do as much online and catalog shopping as possible with her. You can always return the clothes. Or stay with the smaller stores.