South central Maine...in Lincoln County on the banks of the beautiful Sheepscot River!
[QUOTE=John D]
Hi. I'm a 53 year old male, who was diagnosed ADD-Inattentive Type two weeks ago and now on medication (Adderall) which makes quite a difference. Ever since a month ago when I self-diagnosed myself as having ADD, I've been on an emotional roller coaster. It's as if the knowledge that I have ADD has stripped away all the defenses and denials and blinders I've contrived over the years that kept me from seeing and comprehending the enormous influence ADD has had on my life and my relations. Most destrutive for me, emotionally, is thinking about my two daughters, great kids, adults now at 19 and 21 years old. Not that I was a bad father, but, looking back now through a lens sensitive to ADD traits, I see many instances of impatience, things I said that were better left unsaid, promises made and never fulfilled.... I'm wondering if I am unusual in this aspect of dealing with a diagnosis of ADD, or whether this emotional surge, coupled with a heavy sense of regret, is fairly common and will pass with time... curious in Maine.... John D
[/QUOTE]
Hi. I'm a 53 year old male, who was diagnosed ADD-Inattentive Type two weeks ago and now on medication (Adderall) which makes quite a difference. Ever since a month ago when I self-diagnosed myself as having ADD, I've been on an emotional roller coaster. It's as if the knowledge that I have ADD has stripped away all the defenses and denials and blinders I've contrived over the years that kept me from seeing and comprehending the enormous influence ADD has had on my life and my relations. Most destrutive for me, emotionally, is thinking about my two daughters, great kids, adults now at 19 and 21 years old. Not that I was a bad father, but, looking back now through a lens sensitive to ADD traits, I see many instances of impatience, things I said that were better left unsaid, promises made and never fulfilled.... I'm wondering if I am unusual in this aspect of dealing with a diagnosis of ADD, or whether this emotional surge, coupled with a heavy sense of regret, is fairly common and will pass with time... curious in Maine.... John D
I have dealt with ADHD all my life. When I was a kid it was called minimal brain dysfunction accompanied by a LD. There is always a sense of loss for what could have been if I had known what my problem was and could have worked on it. Instead I was sent the route of special education and institutions to control some of the symptoms. I denied a late diagnosis of ADHD in my 20's. Got married, had 2 great kids, got divorced. Have a great job - but had continuing problems with impulsivity and anger. Denial of the diagnosis and trying to hide some of my problems led to more serious consequences. Medication is a good start, but it needs to be accompanied by therapy. Therapy along with medication have helped in my 40's, but I am still working on the negative self talk and being more positive. Therapy has allowed me to let the past garbage go. I am happy and motivated, more focused on what I need to do and have lots of time to reconnect with my 9 and 12 year old daughters!!! I am looking through my daughters eyes at myself and they think I am a great parent - all their friends like to come to our house!!! Life is good, but it will always a roller coaster ride!!
Thanks for sharing your insight and experience. I was beginning to think that these surges of regret weren't usual--none of the books or articles I've read (and believe me, I've read quite a lot in the last month!) mention this emotional roller coaster once your diagnosed. But a ton of mention is made of these feelings as you plow through life before diagnosis when you haven't a clue that ADD is thwarting your every effort to make good in life!
John, your emotional surge and feelings of regret are not just understandable, they are to be expected and encouraged (to some extent). I was semi-self diagnosed almost 10 years ago by a teacher who, when I told her I was doing cross-word puzzles not to ignore but to pay attention to her, suggested I read "Driven to Distraction".