Work and co-workers | ADHD Information
I am on an amphetamine for ADD. I haven't gone to counseling and don't think I have anger issues per se. I seem to go from 1-100 MPH in some of my reactions though. I do "shut down" and have flash points that are infrequent which may include many different reactions including sudden feelings of not being able to cope, possibly getting irrational over simple things, definately have coping and control issues though I am loads better than what I was since my official diagnosis several years back. I surround myself with extremely organized people who appreciate my spontaneous nature....
I fought the diagnosis forever. Finally hubby (then BF) brought it up--I felt defective. I could no longer be in denial about it after I got married and shared a household with someone "normal"...he thought it strange when I couldn't remember things for 2 minutes earlier, put deoderant in the fridge and produce in the linen closet and wouldn't remember any of it, burst in to continuous panic attacks over continuously lost keys, paying bills etc...all of the normal things ADD'ers complain about. He talked about it with someone at work who is ADD and he bought me a book=Driven to Distraction. There are incredible qualities associated with ADD that I know are positive that others don't have.
Saying "things just happen to me" wasn't a good excuse anymore. Took some tests though I already knew what the results would be. My boss says there is a "Tammy Factor" and calls me Calamity Jane which I laugh about but secretly I want to kick his butt. I am in sales which suits me but I am VERY VERY mistake prone...my sales are extremely high but usually have issues on them which cost my company money. I try to pay attention. I have now tried to transition into sales management and feel that he (who does know I am ADD) is holding it against me a bit now---but I can't really blame him. It hasen't happened yet but one of these times I am going to get fired by a mistake I can't rectify easily.
When I first starting to work through ADD, I was relieved and thrilled I was dealing with the issue that I did tell family and friends--who frankly acted less than supportive and strange about my diagnosis. I do get frustrated that others will automatically place the lable on me and blame anything not done or lost on me. They now automatically go to "have you taken your drugs?" etc. I mean people do just in day to day life misplace things etc. I regret sharing with my family.
My hubby has been awesome with this whole thing. We worry about our son as he is exactly like me.
losergurl - sounds like you are still trying to cope with learning and facing that you have ADHD!!! ADHD does have many good things that go with it, but also many challenges.
I work in a job that is suited to living with ADHD, I work outside and stay physically active in my job, I get transfers every few years around the country and this keeps me stimulated. I have had many breaks and good opportunities in my life related to career, but just 2 years ago I was promoted up into a pretty significant leadership role and am having to learn how to cope with administrative and office politic stuff. I call it administrivia!! Sometimes I look at where I am and feel like a poser and that I don't deserve what I've got. This is negative crap sneeking in and trying to sabotoge me!! I Can be my own worst enemy at times. One good thing that has come in all of this is that people say I am real and say what needs to be said and I shorten meetings up and keep people on track. Direct and to the point!!
Crud, deleted my first response... gotta be shorter this time.
Don't tell if:
Your job is competitive, boss is incompetent, stupid, lazy or neglectful, or you don't fit in with the "culture" of the workplace. In these situations you may as well paint a target on your forehead and ask people to blame you for everything and anything you say will be seen as an excuse.
You might tell if it would benefit you only if:
There is no competition with co-workers, your boss is intelligent and competent, and the work culture is accepting and open in general. I have found that I can ask for what I need without labeling it ADHD. "Hang on, let me write this down." "Please let me finish these projects, then give me some more. I am getting stressed." Never tell at a time when you have made a mistake, it sounds like an excuse. Do address your problem areas directly without excuses.
My little speech goes like this...
"I realize that "X" is a problem. I have had this problem my entire life, you aren't the first supervisor to have this issue with my performance. I understand that it is not acceptable. I assure you that I take my job very seriously, and I am doing the best I can." Then I either ask for help finding a solution or I let them know what steps I have taken to prevent the problem in the future.
Best wishes. Let us know how it goes!
Hello,I noticed you had just written today and didn't have any replies yet so I thought I'd give it a shot. Dealing with co-workers is definitely an issue I've dealt with. I worked with someone a couple of years ago who's personality didn't mix with mine at all. No matter what I said or did, it came across the wrong way. I was glad when she decided to move on. I have never disclosed that I have ADD and do not intend to. I am sure my co-workers sense something about me but as far as I am concerned they will NEVER find out exactly what it is.
Some days are certainly harder for me then others and I do get too emotional sometimes but I am working really hard on it. For me, what works the best is to treat my co-workers kindly, do my jobs to the best of my ability and KEEP MY BIG MOUTH SHUT, especially when I feel like screaming. I've had quite a few jobs, ranging from administrative to retail to food service and I am pretty sure I have lost a few of those jobs due to my ADD, which at the time I didn't know I had. The two jobs I have now, I've had for years and they seem to suit me for the most part but it does get stressful at times trying to do two jobs and keep up with my ADD daughter too. My H recently got a better job and I am considering quitting one of the jobs to lower my stress level.
For me, stress is the trigger for angry outbursts and losing control. I see a therapist which is a big help with coping techniques in dealing with work, my family and life in general. You might want to look into what the real trigger is for your anger(I also read your other post about snapping). You may need to find a way to lower your stress level. When you are stressed out, even laundry can becoming frustrating. Lowering my stress level seems to be a big help for me and I also try to warn my family ahead when PMS time is coming
. Have you looked into therapy and meds. and all of those things? There are others on the board that can tell you more too. I'm no professional but just wanted to share some of my own experiences with you and hope something I said may help. Hang in there and please keep posting. Deelostmyshoe38903.7502662037
How do your co workers handle your ADHD? Do you tell them? Are there chronic problems that cause everyone else to be frustrated with you? Do you job jump as soon as you feel that you "are going to be found out?"
It is funny you mention that I am still coping with the idea of this being "official and real." I have read a lot of the topic and consulted with my doctor and I do understand it. I do. I struggle with the idea that these really are normal day to day things that do happen to regular people and because I deal with them a lot more I have to take a drug? 
Don't get me wrong--I know it helps me. I just struggle with the label probably more than anything-even if the label is only from me. With in two weeks of taking the right drug, I felt the sun had finally come out and I could see clearly. About every few months, I go off of it for a week or so just because--plus I know they are addictive. My doctor also explained as I keep taking them, I may have to take more to get the same effect over time and if I need to take breaks to keep the dose low I would rather do that.
I used to also struggle with the label thing and wanted to know why me? The medication (and therapy) helped me to understand some things can't be answered and I realized it wasn't why I wanted answered, it was why didn't I get the right help when I was a kid!! Working through some of sorrow of childhood events helped me become happier and healthier and to realize I have a lot of good things to offer as an ADHD'er. I coach soccer for elementary students and have 9 kids on the team, of those 9, 4 are adhd. When some people know you are dealing with this they will seek you out for help. I also mentor teenagers in trouble and let them know you can overcome challenges and life can be good and rewarding.
Life is good!!
When I was first diagnosed, it was upsetting. ADHD isn't a fixable condition. As I learned more about ADHD and meds and coping strategies, my label was a great benefit to me. Once I knew what had been and still was causing a ton of my problems, I actually began to succeed at solving them.
Wow! After 29 years of "trying harder" then "trying harder" some more, only to fail and fail some more, I was able to do something besides "try harder" and compensate for my ADHD. It actually WORKED!!!
*snoopy dance* I win! I win!