two years in and it’s still hard | ADHD Information

 

I'm about 2 years into really trying to deal with the add, avoiding excuses, accomodating myself, etc.  I've made some mistakes in the last 2 years also - but when I did, I got back up and tried again.  Prior to that, I had hit such a hard wall that I decided to stick my head in the ground for several years.  I'm now dealing with all the crap I literally avoided thinking about for years ...

My head is clearer now, my soul is awake and with me again, and my attitude is good - but, I've set myself up to climb steeply for a while.  I think with luck and gumption, it will be possible though.

It feels great to be taking on my life - to have enough confidence to look every aspect of my circumstances in the eyes now and to try to figure them out.   However, I realize that it will likely be everything I can do just to keep up over the next few years. 

My life isn't going to be easy for a long time.  I need to do things like work one regular job, and also a few hours at a second job every week just to make it work, for example.  And, to whine a bit, I just wish I could also have the option to relax right now.

I wish everyday that I had been "smarter" sooner but, despite all of the things I wish I could change, it really does feel good to be trying to figure it out now.  I started late but how glad I am that I started when I did, rather than waiting even longer.

 

Hello Dog,

I am 55 years old. Just discovered I was ADD about six months ago. Up until then I never knew what was "wrong" with me. I thought I was depressed, anxious, bi-polar or just crazy. I couldn't explain why I was moody, or that I would spontaneously combust. I had a trail of broken dreams and relationships. Lost promises and false starts and crumbled endings.

But I also knew that I had something "special". I love nature and animals with a passion. I love art and music. I'm creative and fun. I'm warm and friendly. I genuinely love my friends when I am not alienating them.

Somethings I wouldn't change for anything. What makes us ADD and doubt our abilities is also the same thing that makes us unique people and with something to offer the rest of the world.

There is a lot of self-esteem that gets damaged along the way because of the expectations of others and of ourselves.  We don't feel that we fit in.

It's good that you can approach your life in a more positive way. We all wish we had known sooner and been smarter.

 

**What busterangel said.***

- except I am 35. 

We do the best we can with the information we have at the time.   Does anybody say to themselves "I am gonna mess this up because I love the pain and suffering?"  If they do, there is more wrong with them than ADHD.   *grin*

The best we can do is all anyone has the right to expect, no matter what THEY might think. 

I am glad things are getting better for you and I hope you realize that they get a WHOLE LOT BETTER when you don't beat yourself up over what you can't change.  (((hugs)))

gee i thought I was the only  one who found out late  (im 44) feel like  i wasted years and years of missed opportunites any one else feel this way
Oh yeah Harris805! I definately feel like I wasted years (decades) of my life. Was diagnosed at age 42, right before I was kicked out of grad school (after struggling through it for 8 years and almost graduating!)

Like a lot of people with ADD I had a lot of potential and just pissed it away. Knowing it is caused by ADD keeps me from blaming myself - I just feel robbed of all those years!

And I'm worried that the current "treatments" don't do too much to really manage the disease. If treatments don't work then I can look forward to more wasted decades to come!!!!!

         &nbs p;         &nbs p;         &nbs p;         &nbs p;         &nbs p; 

I was DXed over ten years ago.  Much self-knowledge and changed behavior has come as a result, but my take is that ADHD is a chronic condition.  Success for me means self-forgiveness, knowing where I have a tendency to trip up, knowing where I need to put checks and balances into place so that I won't lose focus, knowing my limitations, knowing how my ingenuity and wild enthusiasms can propel me forward, and not judging myself by others' standards.  Meds have helped me a lot, but I am not "cured," nor do I think that's possible or realistic. No golden era of productivity awaits. My ADD experience has made me who I am.  I'm not going to wake up one day and be one of those highly-focused sorts that play by the rules.  Even if there was a drug that could correct my brain chemistry completely, I'm 50 years old and certain pathways and habits are in place.  And those rules haven't benefited me or supported me much, so how could I possibly turn into somebody who doesn't question them?  More power to you if your life has a "before" and "after" -- mine doesn't.  I've missed some opportunities, but I've grabbed others and won.  I expect it will be like that forever.

 

I kept plowing through half a century of living with adhd before I knew what the hell was behind all those inconsistencies and traits that are adhd.  I just kept plowing through them all, telling myself I was perfectly normal and, above all, RIGHT! and if others couldn't put up with my forgetfulness and procrastination, tough!  But like the rest of you, it's been very tough for me once I found out I had adhd and started on medication that brought all these traits into plain view for me...wow!  It was really tough for me, the first six months especially, because all the tactics that were built into me to ignore, hide, deny, or otherwise "cope" with the traits were rendered utterly useless.  I had nowhere to hide, and the low self esteem that I'd kept in "check" all those years came out in full bloom--along with full blown anxiety attacks and feeling depressed!  So I'm out of that now and I suppose for all of us it is a struggle.  This message board sure has been a help to me! 

I'm about to find out if I'm Dx'd tomorrow. I'm 35.   
ShawnB39065.2652430556

all of this sounds wayyyyy too familiar... so much time wasted

I have always beat myself up because I had a "lazy" syndrome accompanied by forgetful, unmotivated, disorganized, moody and emotional, shall I go on....

no need - I am in ADHD land

I am 30 and have a lot of cleaning to do in my life and within myself-----it almost seems too hard. The mountain is very big, can I climb that all by myself? I guess I am not alone seeing as my son is in the same boat..... which is even more frightening.

Being an ADHD parent to an ADHD/ODD child is difficult to say the least. I have not been officially diagnosed, but I know it in my heart to be true. I need to go to the doctor now and start my process...

I am truly worried about being the best parent for my children because I can hardly function for myself.

Feeling sooooooo small right now.