another suspension | ADHD Information
Well, he got another write up at the boys and girls club. He cannot go back untill I meet with the director. He will not go back, DH just got laid off work, so I guess that is a blessing in disguise? Maybe? I just e-mailed his psychiartist who said maybe it is time to try interventions other than meds? What does that mean? .IMac38944.6882407407I realize this. The problems aren't at home, but at the club. Any suggestions? I sometimes wonder if they are just waiting for him to get into trouble. I am sure he does the stuff, but did someone else do something first? I know that is no excuse, but sometimes I wonder. I just get so tired of all this.We use a chip system at home, similiar to Ogram's marble system. Is that what you mean by behavior modification program?
I didn't mean that Cody is perfect at home, but he is not the devil child they make him out to be.
Where can you find a social skills class? I tried at the school during the school year, and they offered nothing. We have no major universities or teaching hospitals nearby.
Crazymama.....when meds are used, they are used in combination with behavior modification and very often social skills training classes. Also, the meds should be working at maximum benefit and that is why patients are put through trial of meds. The goal is maximum benefit, minimal side effects at the lowest dose possible. When medication is used and working at maximum benefit, other interventions work better.
Medication working effectively should eliminate the element of distraction and curb the impulsive behavior. Less the distraction, the child is able to focus and concentrate and less the impulsive behavior, the child has the ability to make a choice. A good behavior modification plan teaches the child how to make positive choices. Like all kids or adults, we don't always make the right choices but the goal is to have more good days than not so good days..
However, since you metnion that your son is not having these problems at home but only at the club, they very well may be labeling him as the trouble maker so anyone would act out under those conditions, medication or not.
It just may be a blessing in disguise as until you find an overall treatment plan tailored to your childs needs, nothing good is coming from your son being there and all its doing is putting more stress on him and the rest of the family. Good luck and please keep us posted.
Luvmykids0238908.9525115741I hear that they also just let the kids do with out real supervision. A se kid needs more super vision. All kids need to be supervised. Our experience is schools are just as bad at looking for bad behavior to much. To us Se kids get more disciliplined than non se kids. To us the NOn se kid is favored by staff. What behaviors are they complaining about? Are they valid or silly?Valid. Fighting. He says he is just playing, but that is the excuse for everything. I think sometimes other kids start it and he finishes it before he can think of what he is doing. He is very small, but very strong. I cannot get him to tell a staff when someone is bothering or hurting him, he just beats them up. He doesn't want to tattle..IMac38944.6884375IMac, you just described my son and husband. They are physical guys. I am not sure about what he is eating, but they cannot force feed him protein foods. He will pick carbs every time. I can send good snacks, but he will choose theirs over mine. I do wonder about other kids pushing his buttons. We see the psych tommorrow, so we will see.
Is there hope, it may get better? I wonder sometimes.
.IMac38944.6891550926Crazymom you may want to try another karate or tae kwon do school. Before you sign up for the long run see if someone has trial lessons. We have several places in our area within a 10 minute drive.
.IMac38944.6894097222.IMac38944.6896759259We tried Karate, and the instructor had such a heavy accent the kids didn't want to go back. He did wrestling last year, did fairly ok, but did have a couple fights. I think we have a boxing club, but he is only 8, isn't that kinda young? I also worry about making him a good boxer, as he is so strong that i do not know if I want him to really know how to punch, although apparently he is learning it on his own anyhow. I guess it is a guy thing, but I am sure tired of it. He is a good kid, he just has no brakes. I have said that so many times. Thank you for your advice, it really does help. I just hope he does not end up in jail as he gets older.
?? With my son, hunger or lack of substantive food leads to reduced self-control, both physical and emotional. My neuro-psyche said to make sure that he has protein with every meal, including snacks.
.IMac38944.6888773148Probably the other kids know how to push your sons buttons then he goes for it. He will get better impulse control eventually. It doesn't sound like a good place for him right now. I agree with the other parents. He may be more successful for shorter time periods-like going for the morning or afternoon. I'm sure they would try this and he gets to play with other kids and have some fun, as well as burn off energy. You could suggest they keep him close to a staff member because of coarse he needs more supervision. Yes its frustrating right now but with time he will improve. It does help to offer a reward for trying hard to follow rules, as well as giving a small consequence-like loss of outside play for 1 hour. Good luck and try not to fret too much. My 15 year old ADHD son has been there too and now its a cake walk comparatively speaking.
Like MegMaguire, my son also has problems when given the wrong food or not enough food. If they complain about behavior I immediately request a detailed description of what they fed him and how much he ate, why the snack did not include protein, etc... He also has trouble managing himself in stimulating environments and gets overloaded. I have no problems at home where it's structured and there's not a lot of activity.
For social skills classes: call the language centers and speech therapists. If you strike out call a child MFCC and ask if they provide group social skills therapy or if they know anyone who does. If you had your son evaluated, call that doctor and ask if they can refer you to anyone.
crazymom,
my son tried tae kwon do for a summer special a few summers ago. He did enjoy it but I think it was just too expensive and every time they tested it was another 40 dollars ontop of the 100 per month tuition. My son never used tae kwon do on anyone. They taught the students to use the moves in an appropriate manner during class. The master would have been angry with the students if they did this outside of class .
joemom, if your son is in a karate type class, has he ever used it on anyone in a fight? I think it is also kinda expensive, isn't it?I volunteer at recess a lot at my daughter's school and the boys do roughouse a lot, and most of the time it doesn't escalate and the kids understand they are just playing. Even the girls sometimes get involved (ahem, I have a Tomboy). I think the kids who take it wrong and turn everything into a fight do so because they have quicker triggers. Fair or unfair, parents are going to be upset if their child is hurt, and zero tolerance is the rule of the day these days. Nobody's particular child is picked on. Any child who fights gets into trouble. Heck, our school called the police on a child who got into a fight. I thought it was beyond ridiculous, but this is what they do. I agree with Imac that it doesn't have anything to do with food. Kids with poor diets (most kids) don't usually go around fighting...it's too easy to blame food. Can't blame the schools for what our kids eat either--they get stuff from each others lunch sacks and, the older the kids, the harder it is to monitor what they eat. Once they're teens, forget it--you won't even know. It's best to get a handle on what's going on and treat it. Even with my ASD kid, if he went around hitting people, I would expect the school to want him in a more structured isolated setting, and I couldn't really complain. Some kid in my children's summer school class (and I don't know or care what he has) is always poking people with pencils, calling other kids horrible names, and throwing things at kids. I've complained twice to the teacher, and he still does it. To me, kids like that need to treatment by the professionals their parents choose, but, while they are getting stablized, need to be watched very closely so nobody else gets hurt. This boy is expelled from summer school if there is one more incident--all the parents are complaining about him, and, in my opinion, rightfully so. He may have ADHD--I don't know--but he doesn't matter. He can't hurt others or they need protection from him. I was REALLY ticked when my daughter had a stab mark on her arm.momwi- I did not mean to imply that his actions are not his fault. I think it starts as rough housing, and Cody takes it too far. I actually have had incidences when my son tried to tell on someone for doing something on the bus(I think the kid hit him?), the bus driver ignored him, Cody hit him back, and got a write up. I had them watch the video on the bus and Cody still got a write up, but so did the other child. That's fair. They were both wrong. If he hurts someone, he needs to be removed, no matter how hard it makes my life, because it is not about me.
I was a Tomboy, too. Unfortunately, I beat up the boys. Luckily it was a different time, so I didn't get in too much trouble. What boy wants to admit a girl beat him up? Guess he got it from somewhere, huh?