Im going crazy!!!! | ADHD Information

My adhd/aspbergers son hit my younger son with a cricket wicket today for no reason which he does, one min they are playing nicely, the next mikey(adhd) will swing for corey-max, well for punishment i bought him indoors & sat him on the seat for 5mins, well its lasted all day becoz he just keept getting up, & figitting, asking kaci(my yongest) if she wants anything etc etc.....i am angry all day & now moody, finding it really hard to find peace & wind down, very irratable, cant get out of it.

I am looking forward to the school break as we go out & do things, but cant deal with him not taking his punishment for 5 mins & it be over with, it last all day & me ending up in a state, i cant deal with it in the privacy of my home i will be worse in public as i end up shouting at ppl who stare????

Just dont know where to go, i am a bit lost at the mo.

Thanx for listoning any way.Is he getting special interventions for the Aspergers? In the US, a kid with that dx. gets all sorts of interventions. That would be the main dx. here, not the ADHD. Don't know how they do it in the UK.

Ahh, I feel your pain.  These kids are very unpredictable, aren't they?  I find that being mentally prepared that they are going to be unpredictable helps.  Also, anticipating the bad things that can happen and preparing for them.  Perhaps a wicket in the hands of an impulsive child is asking for trouble.  But I'm sure in the past he has played with the wicket without hitting anyone, right?  They are just unpredictable.   It also sounds like you two became embroiled in a power struggle, which is a no-win situation.    

How about in the future, incentivizing him for good behavior?  If he can get through playtime without touching anyone else with the wicket, then he gets a reward.   I think giving positive attention for good behaviors is more motivating to a child than getting punished for bad behaviors. Anyway, HTH....

MOMWI, there is no help here, only docters check ups every six months, school does alot to help espcially the asbergers side of it. But no one is here to help when im at home.

CR, i cried when i read your words "i feel your pain" as i know im not the only one who suffers this way, im always trying to be positive & he & the others get rewarded with marbles on good behavour, even the tiniest of behavours, & they are getting better. I dont know what incentivizing means??Yesterday the boys were brining in the groceries and Trevor was handing the stuff to Ira. Well Ira went out and trever threw a can at/to him and smacked him right in the eye . It can be frustrating I know hang in there. Is he ok, did he get a black eye? oh dear.

Mikmum,  when I wrote incentivizing, I mean "to give incentives to".  Sounds like you are using the marble system.  Just make sure the rewards are something he really wants and will want to work for.  And that the rewards are coming daily(small ones).  They need instant gratification.  And maybe a bigger reward weekly.  And at least one attaboy per hour.

And if your system is getting "stale" to your kids, you should change it to keep them interested.  I hope you are having a better day today.

Well today mikey didnt get a certificate from school, so he didnt go to club, he knows this & is reminded off it on comming out of school, so he has a paddy all the way to corey-max school & all the way to club (becoz corey-max went) on comming out of the community centre he throw his packed lunch box at a man & told him to "f**k off tithead", then throw his packed lunch box again, at the wall, it fell to the floor broke & his inside of the box went everywhere!! He was screeming on the way home i had to keep hold of his arm & keep eye on the baby who was walking!, when we got home, i was so angry i could have killed him, i told him to get out my face till i calm down.

Im still not completly calm down as im having trouble doing that latly, but we had a chat & most of his marbles are out of his pot, then the insidents start all over again, this is why i cant calm down & get over it, i told him life isnt revolving around mikey no more!!!

Oh, my!  You've had a hard day.  A REALLY hard day.

So when he gets mad, he swears and throws things.  You need a plan for how to deal with these explosions BEFORE they happen so you don't feel so overwhelmed.  I've been reading a book called Angry Children, Worried Parents by Sam Goldstein and a couple other co-authors.  He has some anger management techniques you can teach your kid, as well a framework for managing him.  Also, The Explosive Child by Ross Greene is a really good book.

Don't give up!  You're a good mom and you can figure this out or get help to figure it out!