Looking to get help for 5 y.o. daughter | ADHD Information

Thank you for the responses-
When we have a playdate she does OK but is always the most
aggressive,most vocal, most everything!!! It is the afterwards that is hard
for her, the coming down. She has such a hard time unwinding regardless
if the playdate was running non-stop or something mellow.
We have lots of structure and I try and build the routine with her, maybe a
chart will help??? We have a calender that she enjoys.
Also if I tell her we are going to do something ahead of time she will build
it up so much she ends up having a breakdown before we get to do the
special thing!!!
I am just So scared of messing this up, my Mom commited suicide when
she was 29. I want Kiki to be "normal" but as time goes on she just seems
a little, sometimes a lot different than other kids...
I am going to see a new pediatrician in the next month, I guess I start
there???
thanks again
you moms & dads
have made me feel better then anyone else in quite awhile!!!
just reading your helpful advice yo others has helped!
smallmom -
what is the PDD assessment test??? I did not see the link???
Gosh I feel so lost sometimes

kiki take it one day at a time...

You're right it isn't easy, but I think you will find that you are starting off right by asking questions.  I have a 4 1/2 year old and I'm so glad we were able to find help for him now before he starts public school.  I think the earlier we can find help for our children the more opportunity we are giving them to succeed. We had a QEEG and glucose tolerance test done with our son.  We use a small dosage of foaclin xr and are on a low carb high protein diet.  I've already seen a great change with our son in the 3-4 months he has been diagnosed ad/hd. 

When I went to the psychiatrist the first time I just told him that what I had experienced with our son and shared reports from my son's daycare/preschool. I told him that I didn't have any idea what was wrong but felt that there was something and I didn't care what it took testing wise.  I told him that if we found nothing was wrong , great, but if we found he had ad/hd or aspergers (sp) so forth that we would proceed to do what was in his best interest. 

Goodluck in finding just the right help for your daughter.  And by the way welcome and yes you will feel lost sometimes.  I still am and I'm sure others can relate.I think it is God's way of giving us a little challenge in our lives, like we need a challenge. 

Yes, you definitely need to have her tested and diagnosed.  And you found a good forum here.  I hope you get the advice you need here.

In the meantime, you need to have a routine that is pretty much the same every day, so she can anticipate what is going to happen next.  Perhaps you could even post it where she can see it (with pictures if she can't read yet).  If you are going to deviate from the plan, she will need advance warning.  I think this might help some. 

Also, you should get the book The Explosive Child for some more techniques.  It should be in your library. 

And if she isn't able to handle play dates, just don't have them for a while.  Having very negative outcomes every time she has a playdate is not a thing you want to practice.  You need to try ending it when everything is still going well.  You could try very, very short playdates that don't require her to sit quietly.  Maybe a playdate at a park would be better.

And it is interesting that summer school is going well, and then she has a meltdown at home.  What may be happening (this happens with my dd) is that she works so hard to hold it together during school, that when she gets home she lets it all hang out.  Perhaps finding a way for her to decompress after school would help, such as running around at a park, jumping on a trampoline, etc.  HTH

Here's the link:

http://www.childbrain.com/pddassess.html

KikisMom, welcome.  Your daughter absolutely needs an evaluation -- no question in my mind.  I'm guessing you're looking at something other than ADHD (either high-functioning autism or bipolar disorder).  I would recommend locating a neuropsychologist at a children's or university hospital to evaluate her.  You may need to drive a distance and you may need to get on a waiting list -- it's worth it.  You might also want to take an online PDD assessment test.  The results are not diagnostic, but will give you a sense of the direction you might need to look.  I'll bump the post with the link to the top for you. 

Good luck.  We're here for you. 

 

I am new to all of this, but, our daughter has always been "highly
excitable" a little bit different than other kids her age. Very energetic, but
good. Then around 1 she started banging her head when frustrated,
everyone said it was normal. She then ventured into biting... again
normal.
Around 2 1/2 she had her first "episode", where she lost control and
screamed and thrashed for about 2 hours. My husband and I attributed
this to a high activitity day and visiting relatives. (Thanksgiving in a
hotel). Again everyone said it was normal.
Also since 6 months old she had always been in a play group or water
babies, gymboree etc. She was becoming increasingly over the top
around other kids. She would scream and run up to them and hug them,
always the most animated, loudest etc. When she could talk she would go
into a setting and it was like a verbal catharsis for her. She would end up
overwhelming any kids around her. She would do this everywhere we
went. Of course we were told she is just outgoing and friendly.
She started a Montessori program at 2 1/2 and did pretty well, but she
never made friends, could never quite get "circle time". If the schedule
changed or the teacher wasn't there or something was altered she would
lose it. I had to pick her up a few times from school because they didn't
know how to handle her, she was under a table crying and shaking...
One of her teacher's after 3 years at this school said Kiki is a special girl
and highly energetic and she didn't want to say that anything is wrong
with her but she felt she needed some help socializing and would not put
her into Kindergarten yet. This was this past May, Kiki turned 5 in July.

Since then we have moved and she is going to start a Waldorf program in
the Fall... Preschool.
Her episodes have gotten worse- we watch no TV, I am very strict with
her diet because at first I thought she might have low blood sugar. I still
have her take a nap when she will comply. She is also having a hard time
focusing and has a low tolerance for stress. She is like a little roller
coaster of emotions but she doesn't know how to control the switch or
get it to medium.
But, basically we can only acomplish one activity a day, any more and she
will have a raging breakdown.
If we have a playdate, which I am now terrified of doing anymore, I have
one friend who understands, she can only last a short while and it is hard
to get her to take a rest. And this can occur is the play date was just
coloring and nothing more.
My husband is also having to work away from home recently, and we have
a 2 yo daughter as well. Kiki gets along really well with Nina.
So I understand her getting worse recently, but it really got worse when
she started a two week summer school. I thought she would enjoy
meeting some of the kids etc. She is doing good at school, for the most
part, it is a very calm nurturing environment. When she gets home if I
can't get her to nap she has some of the worse breakdowns yet.
I feel so bad for her because she feels horrible after. She tells me she
wants to kill me and now she has even said she wants to die. Which rips
my heart out.
SO now comes the part where I really need help...Every pediatrician friend
relative etc. in the past has said she is fine and blown my husband and
me off. One Pediatrician even told us to spank her! I have a sister in law
who works with special needs kids and OT's in another state, but she
thinks Kiki might need to be evaluated.
I guess I kept hoping this would go away. But the more I read the more
she sound so much like a lot of these other kids.
She mostly has her breakdowns with me or her Dad. She will go days
sometimes without one but only if I have her on a real mellow do nothing
schedule, which is nearly impossible.
So I don't know where to start and how to be assertive and how not to
break down or feel so much rage when someone tells me she is fine, just
a 5 year old girl, when I have never really known or seen anyone one elses
child act like her ever???
How do I find a specialist in my small town and what if they do blow me
off???
If anyone has any ideas especially for girls, it seems like the boys are a bit
different.
I thank you