You're asking us what is normal?
I believe this is true - the more stress the more ADHD. I read an article about this once, but don't have a clue where it is. It stated that most Adult ADHD stress is caused by time management. Or rather lack of. I don't know if that is true or not but personally I space out more, get more distracted and run around aimlessly when I feel pressured. Think in that aspect we are normal 4 ADHDers.
I also find that the more stress that I am under, the more spaced out that I get. I also find that I feel more tired and lethargic, which compounds the problems.
I think it easy to get lulled into thinking that things are "normal" when you life is less stressful. When things are going smoothly, I feel as in control as the best of them. Just recently, I started finally coming out of a long winter, spring slump. I was feeling healthier, calmer and less anxious. And then something happened to me that upset me and I spent an entire weekend fretting over it. As much as tried to not play the negative tape over and over again, I had a feeling of hopelessness and wondering if my life would ever get on track.
And yet today I feel great. It's almost like any disorder or problem. Unless you feel "the pain" you feel that you are OK.
I avoid many situations or committments that might stress me out. It comes down to selfishness. I have to do it to avoid getting anxious and feeling out of control. Of course, you can't avoid all stress in life but you have to strive for the balance that suits you.
I appreciate my alone time because then I can do what ever I want to do. I let my ADD go amuck. I can listen to music, read a book, play with watercolors watch a movie and do the crossword puzzle all at the same time.
I have been able to leave my professional life for a bit (I am still not medicated).If I am stressed I get a sense of urgency about everything I do. It makes me more hyper and almost puts me in a panic attack mode. But, certain kinds of stress don't bother me. I can fight wildland fires all day, when they go to hell and make a major run I am calm. I can go on search and rescue missions and be calm.
The stessors that kill me are in the office, home, kids teachers and coaches, grocery shopping, too many daily things, etc....