recovering addict w/questions | ADHD Information

I am a recovering addict and wonder if anyone else is and how the ADHD has effected that or how the meds work for you (if you take them). I take concerta for about month or so and sometimes worry that it will turn on me. I have over 3 years clean (and work a program) but still worry about it.

Dizzy

dizzy238916.4771759259Dizzy this isn't a large forum. I know there are postings from recovering addicts on ADD Forums who have done fine for many years on ADHD meds. Congratulations on three years clean.   

Thanks guys

I do go to meetings regularly (NA) and my sponsor knows what I am taking and stuff. I keep her informed at all times. I will say it is nice to know that their is atleast one reason I was self medicating. (I'm sure there are many more).

Ok random question but I have had a way stiff neck since I upped my dose 9 days ago. Like kinks and knots in it. Has anyone experienced this.

Thanks again, it is nice to know their are others out there like me.

Dizzy

I have had stiffness in my upper shoulders, arms and neck for a very long time.  For me, it is where I carry my strees and tension.  Believe it or not, I am taking yoga and learning how to stretch these mucsles out and it is helping. 

I didn't know there was any other way to feel except all tense with muscle aches and knots until I learned yoga and some relaxation techniques. 

yes dizzy congrats on three clean years!  That's quite an accomplishment.

ADHDers are well known self-medicators.  I couldn't only because of a fragile system where I became sick with alcohol and drugs left me a sack of rocks on my bed.  No pleasure more than a day spent spinning in a centrifuge.  But watching all my paternal relatives die alone and either drunk or dependent on drugs was my keystone to being able to find my own ADHD.

Our meds are far less likely to be something you get hooked on if it's truly ADHD.  They work in reverse to the regular population where they would get high we become more controlled.  We don't get that strong buzz that other people crave from amphetamines and other stimulants.

Since your doc is required to watch you carefully regardless of whether you have a history and that he/she can only give you one month's dosage at a time you shouldn't be able to legally slip.  If you feel pressure to slip though I'd keep a group like AA around to help you.

Thank you guys

I actually did a little yoga here and there for a while and it helped alot just with inner peace and relaxation (this was before the neck stuff). You have inspired me to start again.

All of my doctors know I am an addict and keep careful watch on me, actually my psychiatrist works at the rehab. that I worked at till I went out on disability. So they are extra careful with me.

Congrats on 6 yrs. snappity

Thanks again

Dizzy

congrats on 3 years clean. I am in recovery also with 6 years clean. I am not adhd but I do sponsor a woman who is. My experience is that a lot of people in recovery have issues with either add/adhd, bi-polar, depression and anxiety. Most of these issues don't become apparent until after we stop using. Then after being sober we look back and find out it was one of the reasons we used til the point of addiction. It is great that you let your sponsor know that you are taking meds. I know some oldtimers in A.A. that would say don't take any meds at all, but reality is that people do need meds, and the meds help. I would make sure your doctor knows that you are in recovery and just keep up your program. You seem like you are doing well. 

I was a big time self medicator.  Being on adhd medication and therapy has made the use of booze and drugs a thing of the past for me.  I do slip every now and then with drinking beer, it is more of a social thing though.

The adhd drugs seemed to help my brain find what it was looking for.  The drugs and drinking actually caused me more problems with adhd then helped!!

Whatever

Hey. I totally understand your fear, pain, and frustration. I didnt even know I had add until I had 3 years clean. Painkillers were my deal for quite a while until I burned all my bridges with doctors and hospitals with 150 miles then went to heroin. BAD CHOICE. Anyway. If you ever have any questions on how to get off I would be happy to help you. I worked at a treatment center for 2 years and have alot of knowledge in that area. I will tell you that it is dangerous and almost impossible to just stop without help=meds and support. So you can always message me if you want some advice or help.

Dizzy

congrats dizzy

i wish i have the motivation u all have, unfortunately i am not a recovering addict, i have a hard time controlling my problem with alcohol abuse and dope issues and im high on painkillers which lastyear all this combined into a one night partying, i was rushed to hospital and just survived, it almost killed me. i want so bad to get off this crap but am too scared -i hate change and to think what id be like if i was normal and not druged up is hard cause my addictions soothe me, it takes all the hurt and pain of everyday living away (even though it may be (in the case of weed) a few hours) -its relief. i have always been a undiagnosed adhder, i start dexedrine next week hopefully i will (with some will power) get off these addictions before they kill me!!!!!!

i had to go to rehab for alchahaul and i still dont avoid it like i should but i
dont get drunk anymore. im not sure if the meds helped or not.

It is true that a lot of adhd'ers are self medicators before they get on the right kind of medication.  When I got on the right meds I no longer wanted to drink 12 cups of whatever had caffiene in it - I just stopped!!!  Wierd!!   I no longer craved nicotene and did not have the craving for alchohol like I used to!!! 

I still drink a lot of beer about 2 or 1 time a month to deal with social situations, but I don't go out and buy it to drink every night.  I think the soicial drinking is just a crutch now and I am hoping the medications will get me through the impulsive drinking binges. 

I truly believe the body craves things it needs to try to get your chemical imbalances corrected.  I could eat fish every night of my life and crave it if I don't have it - could it be my body wants the omegas??  Who knows - hurts my head too much to think about.

It is good that you are consulting with the medical community to figure it out and that your wife fully supports you.  Good luck!!! 

 

Hello everyone. I'm new to this website, new to internet forums in general and new to the world of ADHD. I'd like to share my story and felt that my experiences best fit into this discussion. I would welcome, no, I would love, no, I really need some feedback (comments, suggesstions, advice, similar experiences) about this stuff.

I'm 34 yrs old about a month ago, I was diagnosed as having ADHD type two. Now that I know what ADD is, and I look back at my life, everything makes so much sense and it is a huge relief knowing that I wasn't just a lazy, procrastinating, undisciplined, dreamy, sooky bastard.

I tried pot a couple of times in my late teens and thought that it was great. I laughed a lot and I thought that it made me pretty cool. About 8 yrs later, I was re-introduced to it, quite by accident and thought, "yeah, I remember this stuff", so I gave it another go. Even after a few go's, I probably wouldn't have sought it out and I certainly never thought that I'd pay for it. But circumstances were such at the time that I didn't have to chase it or pay for it. It just kept coming my way, so I never said no. This went on for about a year and then the "handed to me on a platter" deal stopped. By this time however, I had fallen in love with it and found other sources and started buying and smoking on a regular basis (daily whenever I had stock). This continued for 5 years until I realised that I had a problem and I had to stop. Furthermore, I knew I would have to get help, because I didn't really want to stop. The first thing I did was tell my wife, who until then had no idea. She was shattered at first and then stood by me one hundred percent while I sought help. In addition, before I discovered dope, I had used alcohol alot. Since I was 16, I had a reputation among my mates as being the best drinker and everyone, including me, thought that I loved the stuff. Something that I have only recently noticed, or admitted, is that I don't think I have ever had a drink just to enjoy a drink. It's always been for the purpose of changing my mood.

When I was smoking regularly, I would often talk to friends about what pot did for them. I felt that it definitely made me more 'switched on'. I could concentrate better, I was more focused, I wanted to learn everything I could and heaps more. Rarely did I find someone who understood what I was saying let alone share the same experiences. When I started looking for help, I was told by three psychologists and a psychiatrist that marijuana couldn't be responsible for such feelings and behaviour. "It just doesn't do that". All they did was tell me about the damage it was going cause and the negative effects. I would say that I understand all that, but what about the positive effects? They weren't just saying that the negatives outweigh the positives, they were saying that there were no positives. So, although I knew deep down that it did make me function 'better', I had to kind of conclude that it was all in my head. I was just imagining all this.

Recently it was recommended to me that I see a particular a psychiatrist. After half a session, he suggested that I may have some sort of mood disorder (which I always figured) and problems with attention. The attention thing was, to me, out of left field. "Where did he pull that out of?". So, before my next session, I checked out ADD and was amazed to see that, since early childhood, I had had all the signs and symptoms. After having the required tests, it was confirmed.

He prescribed for me, Ritalin. About an hour after my first pill, I felt almost stoned. It was different, but very similar. I had that drive and focus that pot used to give me. Nothing of the light headedness or trippy feeling, but in terms of functioning, it felt spot on. I was even enjoying cigarettes more, the way I did when I was bent (every cigarette felt like I haven't had one for a day). I thought this was kind of weird but I loved it.

I'd been on Ritalin for 5 days when all of a sudden, I noticed that "that" feeling wasn't there anymore. This was obviously frustrating. I began to feel the same old frustrations and depression and anger again that I had, on and off, been experiencing most of my life. At these times I would either get stoned or drunk. I called my Doc. and he was quite surprised (This in itself was a bit of a worry. You don't really want to be calling your Psychiatrist and hear him say, "sh*t, that's odd. Never heard of that before"). He said that it's common to habituate to the drug, but usualy not so quickly. So he up'd the dosage and like magic, I had my feeling back. At my next visit, having given my situation more thought and exploring some things in the session, he said that it was more likely that my ADHD co-exsisted with a mood disorder, most likely the "lesser" end of the BIpolar scale. I think he called it Type IV ADHD but I've not found any reference to that in any literiture. So from then on he put my on some Bipolar medicine as well. So far, one week in, things are working OK. Sometimes though, I have a dose of Ritalin and it won't kick in until it's nearly time for my next pill. Occasionally it doesn't kick in at all, but usually, the next one does. The Doc said that it may be a case of playing with different types or different dosages for a while though.

Something I have found out through a bit of research since, is that there are claims that marijuana effects an ADD brain differently to a normal brain. I guess this is one point I would particularly like some feedback on in this discussion. Another is that I have found some articles where it is claimed that Marijuana might be a better solution for ADD than the currently used stimulants. I do want to say here that I think many people, not neccessarily (or not only) in this forum are going to turn quickly away from this thought,  without the consdieration or research that it deserves. I admit that I am entrenched on the "pro" side of the drug, but too many people, I think are on the other side but blindly on that side. I'm not going to say that marijuana does no harm. I do think that far more research needs to be done however. I guess all I'm saying here is that too many people in our world close their minds to things because of deontological, historical or blind beleif. I think this sentiment applies all too often in many areas but I'll stop myself before I allow my passion to flow out on topics such as Nationalism, Patriotism or Religion.

I will say that although I've only been on the medication for a short time, when it works, I prefer it to being stoned. Maybe this has something to do with the quality or type of the stuff that I smoked? I only recently read an article that outlined the differences between Hydro grown dope and natural. I'd have no idea from where my supply used to come. Dope did give me headache after a while and as I was coming down, I'd be extremely sleepy. I did also, sometimes feel a little out of complete control so driving or doing tricky tasks were sometimes a pain in the arse. As yet I've not experienced any paranoia from the medication. This didn't happen a lot with smoke, but occasionally. As my wife has always been really against drugs (mainly illegal ones), I always promised her that I'd tried to get off the grass. I have for a long time told her though, "If someone could come up with something that gave me half the experience that dope can give me, without any of the commonly reported inevitable side effects, then I'd happily never smoke again. I always felt like I was being unrealistic when I'd say or think this. I was asking for a miracle in a bottle. Right now though, exept for the occassions when they don't seem to work, I can't help thinking that I've found my miracle.

I'm sorry if this too long. I hope someone gets the chance to read it and I would truly value any comment. Thanks

Bornagain Hippy, I read your post, and I can relate to it in many ways.

I have the same problem with Marijuana. I feel that I "need" it to function and think. Also I'm hyper and easily agitated when stressed, and weed helps me to be in a good mood. Problem is, I feel like sh*t without it. My muscles tense in my back and neck, I get headaches, and I start to hate life until I can get stoned again.

Also, all my life I always known that something was "different" about me, and I felt empty, depressed and felt like something was missing. When I smoked weed for the first time, I felt connected with myself more than ever, and I felt that thing I've been missing all my young sober life had been found.

However, I got into the habit, and after a while, I had to smoke weed ALL the time to feel good, and even though I'd get "high", it sometimes took the really good stuff to satisfy me.

Now, due to marriage, moving, and job issues, I have not been able to smoke much, so now when I do get high, it works better now, but I've been eagerly searching for weed alternatives so I can find other ways to feel good, or relax, or even get euphoria if necessary.

Like you, I don't want to be stoned just to enjoy life, I want to find what it takes to make life more bearable and fun. Also if I found some really good weed alternatives, I could probably stop smoking, or keep it to a minimum.

Hi

Well I can tell you from my experience of self medicating with pills/heroin ect.... for many years that it took being off everything for a while for anyone to truly diagnose me with anything. Loaded I was diagnosed with all sorts of things. At 3 years clean is finally when everything in my brain just went freaking crazy and I went to the psych and they did there tests and then the ADHD came up for the first time. Now looking back I definately had it forever. I am also on bi-polar meds ( a low dose of topamax) and take concerta for the ADHD. It has been a very frustrating experience trying to get it right and I still need some adjusting like every afternoon I have to take a nap like a come down from the meds. So next visit will be another change. I am definately not saying you dont have ADHD or anything of the sort I am just saying when I kept using it was hard for me to really be in touch with my feelings and behaviors. Well that is my experience and I know that you just have to hang in there and eventually they will get the right combo for you. Some people get lucky right off the bat and some of us dont.

Dizzy

For what it's worth I had 18 yrs clean  and relapsed  after a surgury. When i finally got clean again 5 months later i sought help for a problem i had  known i had  for 10 plus years....ADHD.   Hell,  one of my friends had nicknamed me richochet rabbit becuse i never stopped moving. My mother had  told me  before she passed away "hey, i saw a show about you"  it wasnt on addiction .  I wont bore you with a lifetime of symptoms.   I will say i resisted going on medication  because i was  literally programmed  to think medication= addiction  by myself.  it took   the   open mindedness i gained  returning from  the relapse for me to take  the leap to get   the help I had been denying myself.  That was around 2 yrs ago.  The  change was  instant.  45 min after i took  10mg of ritalin my life changed  as drmatically as it had when i first got clean. i still struggle with some  living stuff but no longer   am so 'eccentric' which of course is what people  call bright people who live in complete chaos. If  you  don't abuse the medication and  it will never be  abused.  it really is that simple.  I wouldnt broadcast it at meetings people can and will judge you out of fear because you are threatening  their  view of the world.  ignore them.  It's their insecurities speaking  when they  pontificate about the evils of  all  medications.  Don't stop going either.  There is no shame in seeking help  the shame is in knowing you have a problem as i did  for many yrs and letting ignorance and prejudice  rob you of  what could be a better future as i did for many years.  Thank God  a relapse  broke me down enough i could  look somewhere outside of NA  for  answers to problems that weren't related to addiction to begin with.

 

That said  be aware  you do have a disease other than ADHD  that is fatal. Respect the medication.  if you dont live alone make sure  whomever you live with is aware   of  where the meds are, when  you fill the prescription etc  so  if  God forbid  that self destructive monster sabatages you  someone can call you on it. Good luck to you on your journey.  For me medication was life changing and affirming i have no idea  what it will be for you.

I think ADHD meds may help for drug addiction.

I just took Adderall XR 30mg for my first time and all of a sudden things made sense, it felt good to do stuff, and I had no craving to smoke pot.

However, my brother had some weed, and I smoked it after taking the Adderall to see what would happen, and I didn't really get much stoned! WTF! Even weirder, is that I didn't want to get stoned again after the weed wore off. I havent smoked weed in 2 days since that, and feel fine, and don't feel like smoking pot. I'll see how long that feeling last before I crave weed again, and I'll keep you updated.

Drug addiction sucks. At first, the weed felt like it solved my problems until I was mentally dependent on it. I find myself sometimes spending my last dollar just so I can get high, and I don't want to live like this anymore.

I'm trying to get a regular supply of Adderall XR, but I'm going to be careful, don't want to get addicted to something new.

Firstly, a heart felt thankyou to all who have offered comments and advice to what I wrote a few weeks ago.