Very Frustrated and Tired | ADHD Information
I currently have my son on Strattera. It is a new FDA approved drug for ADD/ADHD and it is stimulant free. This has helped with his appetite and actually seems to work better than Ridalin or Adderall did.I must say I've never had a problem with the idea of meds.
Would you really even be thinking this if your son needed glasses. Would you try and stop him seeing well 'cos you didn't want him to wear bits of plastic in front of his face for the rest of his life. Of course not you would be grateful that we live in the western world with access to great medical care.
Your son's body is not producing enough of some chemicals. To be blunt, his body is very unlikely ever to produce it. These meds are only topping him up to 'normal' levels. So don't beat yourself up - you wouldn't even think about it if he was diabetic and needed insulin.
I am sorry if I came across as not understanding what you were trying to say, I have been everywhere in this whole situation. There are days when it is so easy and there are days when it is so hard. My sister and I are so different, her 17 year son is ADHD and she doesn't have him on meds, she feels that he can control it. I feel that she is wrong. But we have our own opinions. But the one thing that we argree on is how painful it is to sit in a meeting and listen to the teachers and counslers sit there and talk like you are not there and say things about your child that stick a knife through your heart. I had one at the last meeting say that my son looks off into "laa laa land" and doesn't do anything in her class and then finished it by saying that looking at his IEP that she feels he is borderline Mentally Retarded! What do you say to that? I guess she could tell by the look on my face that I was dazed and confused....LAA LAA LAND!! But I did talk to her after the meeting and asked what qualifications she had to make a statement like that, she said that she is a school teacher for LD children and she has been doing for a long time. So I told her that is all...you want a medal or a muzzle to put on that big mouth of yours. I shouldn't be so rude, and I am usually not like that but she is not a doctor to make a judgement like that. Please if there is anyone out there that disagrees send me a private message to explain.Thanks my husband laughed and grabbed my hand and we walked out. There are teachers out there though that do a wonderful job. My son has a teacher now that is soooo wonderful. She emails me EVERYDAY, not just when it is bad stuff. I also have a teacher that taught him 3 years ago and she emails me weekly just to check on him. We have a meeting on Monday morning and she is going to go to the meeting with us to make sure that they are not trying to pull something over us.
Love my son
I have been there to, struggling with what you are going through. First off, if you are going to use meds you need to make a committment, using a low dose that doesn't do it for your son is not really helping him. Perhaps Adderall isn't the right meds for him. We used it all last year & now we are on Strattera & it has worked wonders for him(finger crossed, knock on wood).
What type of special class is it? If he is bright then he does not belong in a special ed class, it will only bore him & make him act out more. Perhaps in the areas he is stuggling they can just pull him out & get him some extra help. My son gets A's in everything but writing. It is still so hard for him to slow his mind down & organize his thoughts. Twice a week he gets extra help with that. Last year it was both reading & writing & his reading is now amazing!
As for being able to function & not depend on meds, I struggle with that also. Whenever my sons tries to "blame" his actions on ADHD we tell him that does not make it acceptable & that he needs to learn what is & what isn't. We never allow him to use it as a crutch. He has a wonderful therapist & we explained to him that the meds allow him to see how he is supposed to behave & that with therapy we hope to one day be without. We explained to him that is the ultimate goal.
Sorry to go on so long & I hope some of this helps you.
LOL I love the muzzle statement good for you.
Please understand from a parent of a 15 year old boy....when you yourself are coming across as you are maybe ashamed that your son may have to be in some "special classes", that you may need to change your way of thinking. Think of the fact that if it will help him for his education then you should do it. Please do not take my reply as being sarcastic, but my son is in some "special classes", we actually call them LD classes. There is nothing wrong with them and if I can help my son better his education in anyway I will.
Hello I'm Newbie and have been reading all of your postings. My son is 15 and was diagnoised with ADHD in the 3rd grade. I have been using all natural products Some days are good and some days are not. This year I worked with the school to have his day chunked. He has three classes, then a study hall with the librarian. He helps my son one on one with his work or my son works in the library which he loves . Then lunch a gym class and two more classes. The afternoons are rough cause he is soo off task. but he has one more study hall with another teacher who checks his work and helps him with his other subjects. He loves basketball so we have something to barter with to get his work done. So far he has been holding his own.. He still has his bad days I keep a set of books home with me so I can help him at home . I also get emails of homework and class room assignments . So I know what he is doing. IT is very frustrating . But when I see my son's grades which are all A's and B+'s its well worth it.I also have him in therapy at school. This has taken me five years to get this to work. So far its doing well. Dont give up ...
I always have to but my feelings aside and my worries aside and do what we all feel is right for our children. I worry that all of his life he will be on meds and always struggle with normal activities. My 5 year old was diagn. a little over a month ago and was placed in another class (not a special class) but a smaller kindergarten class with a more experienced teacher. This seems to work out for the best and the vice princible which my son has befriened almost like a second mom, sat with him in the new class until he was adjusted.
As for the medication forever I have been an asthmatic since i was 5 years old and at 14 I was diagn. with hypothyroidism. so I have been on medication forever, so I kind of gotton over the my child needs meds forever.
Hello everyone, new here today. I had been on a site like this before when we first found out our son had ADHD, but got away from it. We have treated our son homeopathically and with Medications (Currently Adderall XR 25 mg). Just last month we increased his dosage to 25 mg, and are already seeing signs of needing to top out with the Adderall XR. This makes me very sad, and frustrated. We have worked really hard to avoid placing our son into a "Special Class", so as to avoid his hurt feelings, or being made to feel like he is "stupid" etc. He is incredibly smart, and does well when he can focus and actually sit still without making noise that disrupts the other students and his teacher. Today his teacher had to place him at the back of the class until he could get himself under control. Not as punishment, but so as to keep some order in the class. He understood, as he usually does. He is 8, and a wonderful kid. I remember reading a post from Coach Shelly that her son tries to please her or impress her; my son does as well. He is a people pleaser, and it is though he lives to help others, and make sure they are happy with what he does or accomplishes. I guess I am writing to vent, but also ask what should I do? Is my fear of a "Special class" mine alone? Would it actually be beneficial to our son? How can we help him better deal with school and the times when he is more out of control than others? Should we increase the medication again???? I fear he will get the message that the medication is something he has to depend on - when he does not. I thought I was under control myself with all of this, but as our son gets older, we keep facing something else, and I am not home to work with him immediately before or after school, so I feel guilty. My husband and I love our son so much, and want him to succeed. His sister 9 is not much help, and she actually feeds off of him, so it is almost like haveing two with ADHD at times. I just need some encouragement I guess. Thanks!
Hello everyone.. I wanted to share this information with all of you. IF you already knew this then I am sorry for repeating it .. But I always feel if I can help just one person .. then its worth repeating..
there are some excellent websites to help us know what we should be recieving in our IEP's and 504 plans . IF you have any questions check out this site
I hope this helps someone.. Have a great day
I was where you are last year. Isn't amazing at how different everyday with our special boys is? Like your son, my son is very bright and last year was a very hard year for us. Do you think the structure of his classroom could be the problem
? My son has trouble wiht impulsivity and needs strutcture and definite expectations. Could it be he isn't sure what is expected of him and is responding with this behavior due to anxiety? My son is having a wonderful year this year, because I insisted that he have the teacher he has now, because I knew he would know what his teacher expected--which is no less that what she expects of every other student in that room
!!Welcome treybomom, I am a newbie too but have gotten alot of info from this website. What age is your son, mine is in the 9th grade and with being in high school first year and the hormones raging it is making it rough too. I am finding though that the proublem that he seems to be having is with the same teacher and is the one that said that he is mentally retarded. He had a rough day today again and I just want sometimes for them to tell me when he has good days. Do any of you out there know what I mean. I feel like I always hear well your son is doing this wrong and that wrong and what more will YOU do about it. But did we get a phone call yesterday to tell us that he got a 100% on a pop quiz...well heck no, he just came home so excited and showed us the paper. They seem to want to point out the bad.
I agree with the comment on getting an tutor for your adhd child.
my 10 year old son has ADHD and resently has had new medication added and taken off the stratera
he has a tutor working with him 2 days a week and his grades have inproved and he gets more of his work handed in.
I don't think Love My Son is embarressed about the possibility of her son being in a "special class". I think it is more she's worried how he will feel being placed in one. Remember kids can be amazingly cruel to each other, they can find any difference and exploit it to make their peers feel horrible. While obviously she must do what is best for her son I can definately see why she is hesitant. Kids with ADHD already have problems with self esteem and feel different then the group. The more they are seperated the harder it will be.
I agree with terryanne's comments on medications too. I have severe ADHD and know I will be on meds all my life it's just something I deal with. It's no different then my mother's thyroid medication or the pills my father takes for his cholestoral.
The problem with ADHD isn't just that we simply need to learn what is right or wrong so we can decide how to act. If we could somehow control or decide how we reacted to situations then it wouldn't be a disorder and we would never need medication in the first place. That's like saying your kid is bad and when they learn to be good they won't need meds. None of these kids struggling with ADHD are trying to be bad. They are highly intelligent and can clearly Identify the difference between right and wrong. They know exaclty what the desired behavoir is but for some reason they just can't make themselves behave that way.
I can't stand when people just blow this off as something kids will outgrow or take it lightly because it is not a physical illness. Like someone above said if your child needed insulin because he was diabetic would you refuse to put him on meds or tell him he will outgrow it. There is enough ignorance about ADHD out there already, we don't need to add to it.
Hello Everyone, I apologise for not responding sooner. I appreciate all of your responses. Since I posted, we have found out that our daughter too who is 10 has ADHD in a totally different form than our son. She is impulsive, but not near as much as our son, and very very loud, and un remorseful. There are a lot of other things when concentrating on our son, we did not see in her. Fortunately, she is brilliant in school, and does quite well there. My son is doing better, we have been gradually taking him off of the meds, and back to homeopathy. We are now treating them both homeopathically, and for the last few weeks, it has worked out well. We have all changed out life style at home, and are structured very well to suit their needs. We have been doing well, and hanging in there. Some days are A LOT more frustrating than others, but like I said, we hang in there. My sons teacher is a great teacher, and works well with us. We have placed a few pieces of velcro under my sons desk for him to play with and to stimulate him while he is in the class and she is talking rather than flicking his pencils, and pens all over the place. Seems to be working so far. I will keep you all posted, and again, thank you for your responses.
Teresa
Good luck and I hope that things go well. Looking forward to hearing how things go.I would rather stand up and say something, than allow people to cross over my boundaries, and for parents, harsh critisism of their children is crossing over their boundaries.
If the teacher is not aware of this she is probably mentally retarded. 