New to Board - Need Advice & Support | ADHD Information

Hi LMT and welcome to the board.  My heart goes out to you.  I have a friend that is a single Mom with triplets and I know how hard it can be.  You do need someone else to give you a hand sometimes and I'm glad your Mom is there for you even if it may be conditional.  Sounds a little like my own Mom.  For me sometimes it's better not to discuss at all things that I know my Mom is going to just make me feel bad about or just plain disagree.  She has actually softened some since I lost my Dad about 2 years ago.  I have dealt with depression at times in my life and that was one of them.  I was on Zoloft for a little over a year.  It helped but it also made me hungry all the time and gain weight.  I just got done taking off 15 lbs.  I run 4 miles a day and the excersize seems to make me feel a lot better and relieves stress.  Even if it's some arobics in the house it really does lift your spirits. 

LCdc had some really great advice about breaking things down into steps.  That works well for me.  Sometimes when I look at the whole picture and try to do everything at once I get so overwhelmed. September isn't that far away and if you can hang in there, you will get your insurance and you can resume counseling.  Counseling has been a big help for me in dealing with my ADD daughter and my own ADD.  I've had 2 to 4 jobs at a time and a very busy and stressful life for many years.   My house suffered and has been a mess for years.  I'm working on that one right now.  I know how you feel there.  Years ago I was an Admistrative Assistant/Receptionist/Secretary to the Controller, mail clerk and also did the company health insurance bills.  How I did it all and without even knowing I had ADD amazes me to this day.  I think the only way I made it through was to pace myself and try to learn things in steps.  I also wrote everything down.  Try to write down whatever it is that is pointed out that you are missing and if it helps, go over that list each day to make sure you've done all of those things. 

It takes time to learn a new routine and for me writing things down helps me to learn faster because I can look back on my notes instead of making a mistake a second time.  When I worked in an office of course the boss wanted me to learn everything at once and I was a bit slower then she wanted, but seeing that I was a dedicated and  hard worker, as I am sure you are, I was given a chance.  The fact that you have that job says something about you.  You just have to believe in yourself.  Please don't be so hard on yourself about the job or the kids.  I'm sure there are things you can do at home for your kids to make up for something you may have forgotten.  As long as they know you love them and that sometimes Mom is just very busy I am sure they will understand. 

I hope something I said may have helped.  Just wanted you to know that you are not alone and if you need to share your feelings you've found the right place. I don't know a lot about medicines but there are others here who do.  There are some really kind and understanding people here and also knowledgable people.  Until you find a support group in your area you always have one here.  Please take care and hang in there and keep posting.   Keeping you and your family in my prayers.  Dee
lostmyshoe38921.655474537

Thanks again... your comments make me feel better already.  It's nice to have stumbled upon this support board. 

I have actually asked my counselor if she could make a deal, but she has such a large clientele that she just can't compromise because it wouldn't be fair to her paying customers.  I used to have state aid, but again, this new job (which I enjoy very much) put me over the poverty limit by about 1K.  It's amazing what they consider to be poverty, because I barely make it every month by the skin of my teeth even with the child support.  I receive 8/wk for three 5-year-olds.  Some of my friends say that is a crying shame, but I don't know what is fair - i'm just happy to get anything. 

When I did some research on the internet last night, I didn't find much on ADHD support groups in my area.  I started going back to church (haven't been in years because I have been so busy), but I feel like I need to look to the lord for support too, because I feel so defeated by this.  I want to be strong for my kids, and I want to do well in my job.  I hate feeling like I can't do anything right, remember where I left off, or what I was even saying.  My mother thinks I have extreme cortisol levels which are affecting my "fight-or-flight" responses making me react impulsively from my brain stem rather than think clearly from my cortex.  I am not sure what all of that means, but since she is a nurse, maybe she has some valid concerns. 

You folks seem to know quite a bit about this... what do you think?

Your counselor may be willing to make a deal with you on payment if you call them and let them know what is happening!!  There are also other resources in your community that you may be able to reach out to!! 

I understand there are lots of depression meds that can be used effectively with adhd meds, but sometimes it takes awhile to figure out the mix and the dose. 

Don't beat yourself up over this!!!   

You will recieve lots of good advice tonight and tommorow from folks that have dealt with depression and adhd at the same time.  Search your community for support to single parents, adhd groups, etc....  There are people out there to help without the motherly strings attached!!!

Thank you LCdc.  I did have a wonderful counselor who I think helped me feel better about myself and understand some of my interesting traits.  Unfortunatly, when I took this job, I also gave up my health insurance and am not eligible to receive any until September-provided I make it that far in this job.  :-(

My mom works at womentowomen.com and goes way overboard with the "what you need to do is......." stuff because they push the au-natural way to "fix" everying that ails you.  I know she means well, but her complete denial of this condition creates more anxiety for me than anything.  She does help with the kids once in awhile, but it's always conditional... like she will say she will watch them for me, but I have to come over and feed them and put them to bed before I can leave and have down time.  Usually all I do is beat myself up and consume mass amounts of Ben & Jerrys when I have "me time".  Not good.  I am overweight by about 60 lbs, and self image is a problem too.  Man, do I sound like a mega-downer!  I'm sorry!

Like mum says.. I wish I could just "get ahold of myself" and make a change.  I wish it was that easy!

Thanks for your reply.  It's nice to know there are others experiencing the same things.

Heather

WOW - I am sorry you are feeling overwhelmed and depressed!! It must be hard to be a single parent of triplets!!!

I am a single parent of 2 daughters and have been since they were very young.  I could not imagine having the threat of loosing my job hang over me!!  The concerta alone did not help me to get a grip on my adhd symptoms, but it did help to slow my brain down enough to come up with a plan to handle some things.   

Did your boss give you specific things to work on and can you break them down into doable steps??  Are their people you can rely on to help with the kids?  If someone at our office is given a certain time to meet company standards and expectations, there is a plan in place for them to do this and specific ways to do this.  Are you doing some stress relief and having any down time for yourself?

Focus in on your strengths and don't listen to yourself with negative thoughts - push your strengths forward at work and show some accomplishment where you are strong!!!  Baby steps are better than no steps at all.  Can you seek some immeadiate counseling to help you through this crisis? 

It may feel like you are alone, but reach out to people and most of the time they are glad to help!!  I wish the best for you!!

 

I just received a 30-day probation at my new job for "missing little things" that make the company look bad.  I'm the office manager, and I've never been a manager before, so I am used to double checking and getting approval before I do anything.  This was another thing that annoyed my boss.  She is the owner and one of two brokers in the small company I work for.  I feel like my ability to function is out of control.  My house is a mess, I'm a horrible role model for my kids, and I feel like EVERYONE is constantly dissappointed in me for being tardy and not living up to expectations.  It's horrible.  I have tried every anti-depressant under the sun and stayed with Zolof 100mg for about a year now.  I think it helps me cope with being a single-parent of triplets without blowing my top every other moment.  Then last fall I was diagnosed with ADHD, but somehow I knew I always  had it.  My personal space is always a mess, half my stuff is still at my parents and I never hear the end of it, but it's overwhelming to think about adding that crap to my current crap in my new house of 4 months, which is already looking like my father's garage.  I don't want to lose my job.. it's the best one I have had so far, and the constant feeling that I am not living up to my potential is devastating!  I never remember to bring my kids' ice-cream money on fridays to daycare, and they are dissappointed, I never make it to their lilttle performances, which kills me, and I live in a nice new house that is a rat hole inside and can't get out of my own way.  I spend money I don't have, and get in the whole and receive so many overdraft charges that I can't unburry myself on a regular basis. 

I know this isn't your problem, but I feel like I am spiraling out of control and i'm not sure if my Concertta is helping.  I'm extremely dissappointed in myself, but I'm a dog-gone hard worker, put in overtime and love my kids to death... I just can't lose my job.  Please help if you can.  I will take any advise you can offer.  I'm out of ideas, and super depressed.

Heather

Hi - I've been in your situation as far as being overwhelmed, in trouble at work, stuff everywhere, depressed, etc. etc. I've successfully taken Prozac and Adderall together for years and I can hold things together.  I also see a counselor even tho I am one myself.  I want to encourage you to seek support - you need it and deserve it!  Try to focus on the part of your life that is in front of you at the moment and do your best at it at that time.  Don't beat yourself up over the other parts - just keep moving forward.  You will work things out!

Yes, you have helped.  I am sorry to hear about the loss of your father.  I have not had to endure such a loss so close to home, and can only imagine how hard that must have been on top of all the other challenges in your life.  Did I read correctly that you were working four jobs at one time?  Holy cow!  I don't even feel worthy of complaining now!  lol  You are incredible!  How on earth did you manage your time?!  I'm amazed!

Thank you for your kind words about my work ethic and dedication to the job.  You are right.  I am very dedicated and want to succeed, as well as put the best face forward for my boss.  She has been very clear about being "anal" about things, and I guess I have seen that with her lack of patience on the learning curve for this job.  I just hope she has enough compassion to see me through.

I'm so glad I have found you folks.  Your words are encouraging.

LMT, I agree with what the others have said.  The only other advice that I have is that I am currently taking Wellbutrin with my Adderall XR.  My daughter also takes this combination.  Wellbutrin helps with the focusing, in addition to the depression.  I am on 75 mg now, and I may ask the doctor to increase this at my next appointment.   An added plus, I had also gotten very overweight, and I have lost about 25 lbs since I began taking the Adderall in april.  I hear that Wellbutrin can also have this side effect.  It seems that the medications cut down on my cravings for junk foods, and I just try to eat healthier foods when I do eat. 

Good luck with your situation!