ARGUMENTATIVE | ADHD Information

[QUOTE=jobige]

We recently adopted a six year old boy who has ADHD. He talks non-stop and is very argumentative. He also lies and makes up stories and never takes responsibility for his own actions. Has anyone else experienced this with their children. If so, any ideas how to get him to be less argumentative?

Thanks!

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Did you know he had ADHD when you adopted him? God bless you if you did, because so many want that "so called" perfect child. Funny, but I have yet to see a perfect child. Go to a vitimin store, they have things there for young kids that could help. I would try that before any meds. Good luck !

Go read (on here) what this other person gave her child and it helped..BIG TIME !

I think it was a few things used together, but I think one being fish oil. Go check it out. You don't know if it works, until you try it. I would try the most safe way first before going for the meds. Again, good luck !

One of my friend's just told me that she uses (from a vitimin store) ATTENTIVECHILD. She said to try that with fish oil that you can also buy there. She said it (fish oil) is in a box and each oil is wraped in it's own package. It comes in an orange flavor, which her child loves. She said to stay away from sweets too and read up on other good foods to give him that helps with ADHD. I hope this helps. It did her child.

BPQW

He gets lots of love and attention. This is just the extra attention he wants, due to the fact his birth mother and foster mother made him the golden child in both their homes. The tragedy is that his older sister was labeled the problem child and had a lot of abuse issues. However, the foster mother chose to give her brother all her love and attention. In our home all our children are equal and he is having trouble adjusting. I was just looking for some help which might stop him arguing. We have plenty of help in our area and are using it to the full extent.

I have no doubt that he does get lots of love and attention. What I'm saying is that it's got to be tough for a kid to have so many homes in his young life and that despite outward appearances, he may be questioning how many more he will have. You can't just say it, "We love you and will keep you forever." He will still question it and test it. That's all I'm saying. If you assume that he acts like this because he's spoiled, you might miss something. The beauty of these boards is that they truly are an open forum.Congrats, Jo :))))) I have to agree he's probably still confused from all the changes, but, if you like, have him totally evaluated to see if more is going on. Good luck with the adoptions

This may seem way off...

Has IQ testing been done? Gifted kids tend to question authority. They need to know "why" more that other kids. With all the other issues in this child's life, this is probably the least likely, but something to keep in the back of your mind.

[QUOTE=Jillette][QUOTE=jobige]

We have the girl too. Going to adopt them next month.

Love them all!!!

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*It takes a special person to take children into your home. If things do not settle down have him screened for ODD to me that is what is sounds like. I am not a specialist however but it is worth a shot.

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I agree 100%. More so, if you know a child has problems. God bless these people.

[QUOTE=jobige]

We have the girl too. Going to adopt them next month.

Love them all!!!

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Try a high-EPA fish oil supplement. It really helps with mood, and eliminated my son's argumentative tendencies.

Thanks!

I've adopted four kids, one at six. To be honest, you can't expect him not to have suffered a lot in foster care, and with bonding issues, or to act like a "typical" child. It would be hard for non-adoptive parents to answer you because their kids have been loved from birth. Any history on the birth parents? Did b-mom drink or abuse drugs during pregnancy? What sort of other symptoms does he display? How long has be been with you? Does the agency offer any help? Has he been totally assessed? First thing we did with both of our kids who were not adopted as infants is take them both for total evaluations. My child who came from foster care at two was a big puzzle. We never got his diagnosis straight until he was 11, and now he's doing great. His b-mom used cocaine and he had it in his system at birth. He is high functioning autism. His first dx. was ADHD/ODD. Wrong! Son has high functioning autism. How are your son's attachment issues? Do you feel he's attached? Was he ever abused?

MOMWI

Thanks for your response. He was the golden child with his birth Mom and foster Mom. I believe he does it for attention. Although it is very frustrating to have him argue everything you tell him to do. We have help, but we are not sure what direction to go.

Wow. Why did she relinguish her rights??? Lucas was, at the time of adoption, extremely difficult! When is he argumentative? All the time? or just when you ask him to do something? When you are trying to get him dressed? or something more important like wearing a bike helmet when riding a bike? My sn is argumentative also. What we do is give the "rules" that cannot be argued over-safty issues. Then, for the smaller stuff we give choices. He likes to feel "in charge" so, most of the time he feels like he is because it is his decission. Then, if there are any consequences-theyare his. THis forces him to take responsiblility for his actions-he knew he had a choice-it was his decission to not make the right one. Hi! It worries me to hear you say that he does this for attention, like that's necessarily a bad thing. My husband and I went through the foster care licensing process in Milwaukee County because it is required before a special-needs placement, which is all Mil. County does. We were taught a lot about attachment disorders, post-traumatic stress, etc., the issues that arise from accepting a child who feels that they don't have a place in the world and that you, too, will "pass" on them at some point, so why not now. Chances are, some of what he does IS for attention and to test your resolve. Kind of, "Why should I love them when their only going to give me bakc if I misbehave?" So he'll do worse and worse things until he decides that you really are going to love him no matter what, forever, and every time your persevere you pass the test. Take advantage of whatever resources your county may have and get family counselling. Good luck and stay strong getting to the "forever" part.

Mom WI

His parents are both deceased. The fosterparent's wanted to adopt him, but not his older sister, so CYF decided to find a family that wanted both children. It has only been eight months, since we got them. So we are all still new to each other.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Aw, poor kid. Do you also have the sister then?

Kimber26

He is argumentative over everything. Not safety isssues.

Me: It is time to go to bed? Him: Why? It is only 9:00 p.m. Is Josh going too?

Him: Can I go outside? Me: No, it is raining. Him: Okay, I am going outside. Me: Bradley, it is raining, we are not going outside. Him: Okay, I am going to get my shoes on.

He also is being manipulative. Saying we have to remind him to be good in the morning, or he may not remember. I think that was due to the fact he was the golden child every house but ours, as all the kids are the same.

We have the girl too. Going to adopt them next month.

Love them all!!!