I just have to vent | ADHD Information

I'm so frustrated right now!  My son has been waiting all day for his friend to come over, and now the mom has dropped him off twenty minutes late and said that she has to pick her son up in about twenty-five minutes. AAAARRRRGGGGHHH!  I can already see that this is going to mean tears after he leaves. Twenty-five minutes isn't even enough time to decide what to play, let alone really get into it.  This woman grinds me!  She has indicated on several occasions that she thinks my son is a handful, but totally ignores her own child's behavior.  Her boy has dyslexia and has been taught to use it as an excuse, to the point that he doesn't even try to read stuff at school and tells substitutes," I don't have to read. I have dyslexia."  So one day he and my son are looking at collectible cards and he shows one to my son and tells him the name.  My son says," Actually, it's called..." and reads him the name. The other boy gets all mad and slowly traces the letters with his fingers, repeating the incorrect name, and says, "Geez, it's right there. Read it."   My boy tries again to tell him by showing him how the letters sound, and this kid goes off! As we are dropping him off at home a SHORT while later, he gets out of the car, turns and yells the wrong name at my son.  And there stands the mom, shaking her head at my boy, all the while her son is apparently telling her his version.  Now, I get that dyslexia is hard and totally tied to this kid's self esteem, but are kids his own age supposed to compensate for it by taking his rudeness?  If he knows about his problem, shouldn't he also be taught to accept help from a friend?  These boys still like to hang out, but his mom clearly thinks that my son is the problem whenever they have a tiff, WHICH KIDS WILL DO. AAARRRGGGG!!  Thanks for letting me vent.Bump 'cause I know I'm not the only one frustrated by other kids' parents!

We had a neighbor the same age as my son who was a nasty little brat. It may sound harsh but the things he said about the mother of one of my son's friends when he was only 8 were disgusting.

He threatens kids and even hits them. He punched my son one time too many and my husband called his mother and told her she needed to get him help. She informed him he was nuts, that we should just let boys be boys. Of course, it wasn't her son coming home with bruises. The next time it happened I called his father and got his voice mail. I left a message that it would be out of their hands if their kid ever hit mine again.

He stopped but he still threatens to the point that my son has asked teachers to keep the other kid back until he has had time to run home, has hidden when someone knocked on the door, etc. We have moved and that kid has no reason to be on our street but my son is still scared of him.

Next time, I do call the cops.  Parents don't do their kids any favors by not holding them accountable and making excuses for them. The authorities will be much harder on him than his parents would have been if they had bothered.

BTW, Dyslexia does not have meanness or rudeness as a symptom.

BPQW;

My son now in his forties has dyslexia, I found out when he started to school.  He never acted with such rudness or disrespect.  (Thank God, I would have probably killed him).  Surely this child has something going on with him to cause the disrespect and rudness.  take a long look at his home life, if he has parents that does not care how he acts then it really lies with them.  Some parents don't care how their children acts and allows them to run wild.  Which makes it rough on the childrens friends and family.

When a child is lacking on the "LOVE" portion in their lives, they seem to over compensate in many other directions and generally it is not "Love" because they have not been taught how to "Love" or how to return any kind of kindness that has been given to them.

If this child acts like this at your home, I would imangine that he acts like this everywhere he goes.  Making excuses for him and allowing him to act up is very wrong.  His parents need to wake up and smell the roses before they have to go to a police department to pick their child or a hospital (where someone has decided not to take any crap from him and give him a lesson he will probably never forget). 

  grandmaataloss  

Daniel was threatned at his last school we let the police handle it. We longer told school staff we just called police. Some people don't deserve to have kids. That poor kid is going to slip through the cracks - and obviously already is if he says he doesn't have to learn to read. That kid needs help in school and obviously needs parents to teach him manners. Sheesh. I don't blame you for being upset. Don't feel bad. My son's friend's come over and the parents don't seem to care when or if they go home.  Yeah, the time was set for this one child to go home at 6:00 PM, he stayed until his parents wanted to pick him up, which was almost  10:00 PM.  So, to follow up:  the visit did not end in tears, as both boys enjoyed trading their collectible cards (I had forewarned my son NOT to discuss names) since neither one really cares about who has the most valuable cards, mom was thirty minutes late picking up (which gave them more time to play) and then stood and gabbed with me for almost another hour.  Both boys were rolling on the floor laughing when she got here and her son was not in a hurry to go, so  she's seen that they really can get along, as long as there no conflict where one is right and the other is wrong (and aren't all conflicts between little boys about being wrong or right?!).  It was really good.  I wish that these kinds of outcomes could wipe out the bad times, but it seems like it takes a dozen good visits to counter one bad one.  Oh, well.  Having is kids is painful and emotionally exhausting...labor is the easy part!!  Thanks for all your empathy. 

The other day I made the remark to my grandson (which has ADHD with Bipolar), after him having a bad day, that I wished that I had a magical wand to wave over him and the world to get rid of all the illness in the world.  My grandsons reply was,  "just why don't you grandma you Love me don't you"?

You know it made me cry for hours.  Yes I do Love him and I wish it was that simple.

But back to the topic. Sorry about my memory loss there for a minute.  Anyway I finally resolved some of my delima about kids coming over to upset my grandson (I think).  I will allow them but the first signs of a fight I call their parents and tell them that their play time is over and they need to come and get their child "NOW".   They are told that they can not return until they can act like little gentlemen and ladies.  I am not young enough to break up the fights and I will not tolerate the disrespect!  It works for me, but what works for one person may not work for another

You tell them and their parents the minute they get in the door that you will not tolorate disrespect in the home or to any member of your family, that is your first rule.  And make them follow it no matter how hard it is.  They soon Learn.  I taught my grandson to respect other people and their things, whether he is home or visiting.  To date I have never had a parent to call and complain about my grandson, I do however get responses "I wish my child acted like your grandson".  I expect the same from them. 

Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying that there are no problems in that area there are and my grandson is right in the middle of it.  But when I say something like break it up it stops and they go to something else.  They do know my limits.  This is not a perfect household but close as it comes with the ADHD and sudden outburst.

   grandmaataloss