Geez, these times are tough. Hang in there, and do what you need to do. These guys have given you EXCELLENT advice, and get a lawyer. What is written and signed upon in the court is just as good as written in stone, so you have to protect the interests of all involved to ensure everything gets taken care of properly in the legal matters, or they are nil impossible to change after the fact.
Remember the importance of keeping conversations regarding your ex, no matter how awful things are, civil in speaking of her mother and your dealings with her. It's easy to say, hard to do, but very important to not put down the other parent in earshot of the children. Just a reminder to put out there, not saying that you were.
I am sorry you are going through this, but you seem very introspective, and I am proud of you for that.
Hugs.
The great followup. Just got a tearful call from my daughter asking me why I didn't pick her up yesterday. "Didn't you ask your mother?" "Yes, but she didn't know why either" "[daughters name], I can't see you until I go to court" She then burst into tears and couldn't continue the phone call. Apparently, her mother forgot not only about having me served, she forgot to pick up our daughter from daycare. Guess she didn't figure that into her weekend plans. Now I may forget a lot of things, I have this tendency to get lost in time, and can be more than a little bit 'scattered' but I have never forgot my own daughter.rayray - shut up that's just wrong
Remember the saying "he who represents himself has a fool for a lawyer" is very appropriate. Get representation as it looks from what you quote that your X has one that is going for blood. You need to defend yourself better.
I would get a lawyer and fight that what was said that your meds impair your judgement. It enhances your judgement skills and any decent psychiatrist put on the stand would be able to attest to that. To NOT be on ADHD meds would impair you and that may be grounds but not to be on them.
In these fights often they can get so nasty and it looks like she's picking up the most petty information to use against you. To a good family court judge they should be able to smell the desparation as usually there are valid points to bring up first. To be stuck with you getting help for ADHD, talking about a funny thought like senior happy meals and the like can be pointed out as petty and should work for you.
Just be composed and keep from going dirty like your X. That goes a long way. Get your lawyer to find out about your judge whether he/she is preferential to female custody, looks to child first, etc. That can be a point that either works for you or against you.
Your X "forgetting" to prepare your daughter is good for you. As she is writing down everything you say and do (obviously) do the same. Make notes is a key of winning. The one who has all the facts written down wins generally. Every time she is hurtful to you with child write it down. That's not petty it's called alienation of affection I believe. Psychiatrists actually have diagnosed a trauma disorder around one parent making the other look evil or neglectful in the child's eyes. This hurts them for life and is grounds for a custody change in many places.
In almost every family court the child is the focus as it should be. You could avoid a lawyer if you appealed to the court for arbitration. That is one judge you two and no lawyers. Often they can make this happen and it's all about what's best for the child. It's fast and inexpensive. Maybe appeal to X that it's the child's welfare that matters and you don't want her thrown about in a courtroom over this.
I hope it all works out well.
That stinks, turbo, I'm sorry you are having to go through this too. I hate when children are stuck in the middle. Hang in there and good luck to you.My sweet X wife served me on Friday and Monday - Physiological Evaluation - again. "That the Respondent [that's me] as admitted to the Petitioner [that's her] that the Respondand is taking medication that impairs the Respondent's judgment" So, she is going to try to take visitation away from my daughter yet again. First time is when I ripped a picture so that I could have at least one picture of my daughter - contempt charges for destroying shared items. Second time she attempted to sue me was when my daughter left one outfit at my house. Third time was when I was short paying daycare by .92 - they couldn't figure it out how much to pay so I told them I would stop by Monday after they could do the math but was served in stead. This time it is about talking about 'Adult Issues' with my daughter. Of course, they didn't go into any details which was a shame because I really wanted to know just what was an 'adult issue' that I was talking about.Could be when we were talking about what if they made happy meals for senior citizens and what would be a good 'toy' But now, because I have ADD, I'm obviously a danger to my daughter. Yep, better watch it, or I will pay attention to you even more and that is what the X hates. I talk to my daughter, I do things with her, and more importantly, I listen and know what the things that are bothering her before she can mention them. Chances are, they are about her mom. I'm tired of this, and now she is using ADD against me to see my own child. Can't afford a lawyer, just spent all of my money on another lawyer and have about 10 cents to my name. Thinking about fighting this one without my lawyer. Besides, having one less slimy lawyer in the room would be a good thing right?turbofish38923.8209143519I would make sure I had a lawyer with me even if it was a court appointed one. I would also ask the lawyer about suing her for harassment since she keeps hitting you with ridiculous court actions.
How old is your daughter?
I'm with Barb on this. You have to have a lawyer! This is after all the case that counts the most!
I know a husband who is doing the same thing to his wife that your wife is doing to you but the difference is he shouldn't be allowed near any kid and knows darn well he won't get custody but he just wants to put her threw h*ll.
I am so sorry you are going through this. And get a lawyer no matter what. I see what happens when people think they can represent themselves. They loose! In part because the judge thinks the kids don't mean enough to the person who didn't bother to get a lawyer. Not fair but true.
Irony: I just got an email from my daughter therapist to come in with her on her next Thursday appointment. I replied I can't until court date [day after]. She had no idea that the X was going to do this and was under the assumption that this weekend was going to be my normal weekend [Thursday - Sunday, every other Wed]. My daughter [11] has been asking on a regular basis if she could spend ever other week with me. That doesn't go well for the X. ADD is what got my whole divorce kick started [the 'fog' and hyper-focus all mixed up together - not a good combo]. Maybe I do some rather unusual things because of this ADD. Before medication, I had to be moving all of the time and I couldn't shut down my brain at all. I still issues from time to time and I will still do weird things like pull all-nighters to work on another self inflicted distraction project but at the same time, it gives me the ability to read people like a book. I know what my daughter is thinking before she has a chance to mention it. In my mind, it gives me a parental edge. My daughter has always been much closer to me than her mom because I simply pay attention to her. I have always gone to hyper-focus mode with kids, talking to them, playing with them, while always with an analytical mind catching what others miss. I will always remember when I was dating a lady with three boys [youngest, 5 with Downs] was always amazed how I was able to pay attention to all of the boys at once while doing landry/dishes,... I don't know how not to.go to wal-mart & buy a shot gun