So frustrated | ADHD Information

hay, i just thought of some thing. did you call for another A.R.D. meeting at the school? If you decided to put him back in public school, i would have an ARD first (he will have to go for a few weeks to get an assessment, but if you specifically ask for a behavior modification to be added to the iep, that might help him. That is just if you want to have him go to the public school. if not, that's your decision. For unwinding, do you have a hobby? When I get frustrated i do needlepoint and i write. That is time for me to "not" think. I find if i am doing some thing that takes complete focus, i automatically relax. Try to find some thing that will stimulate your mind and require you to have a complete focus. Just a thought.

Jengle, Since you want to avoid meds and you want to homeschool him ( hats off to you for that, I'd go nuts homeschooling my kids! *winkwink*), can you get time away each day to unwind ? To de-stress? Even if it means just taking a 30 minute walk alone, etc ?

It's important for parents, and especially parents that homeschool and/or have kids with any behavioral issues to have kid-free time.

Hang in there, hon.

[QUOTE=MomWI]

The meds for ADHD made him worse. His behaviors are violent and out of control. It's not only ADHD. And putting him back on stims or keeping him unmedicated will only make him worse. Whether or not he is put into school or homeschooled, he won't improve until he's on the right meds, and I don't think you need to live this way. I highly recommend posting on a site that is NOT only for ADHD. Over there, you will get many opinions as to w hat to do from vet parents who've seen it all. Your son truly doesn't sound like he's only got ADHD going on. I'll give you the link. Use it if you like. You're guaranteed some solid advice there. They also have experts in Special Ed. I really do hope you see a Child Psychiatrist. This child isn't bad--he needs help, and not stimulants or Straterra.

www.conductdisorders.com

So let me get this right MOMWI, You are my sons doctor and you live in my house? Well shoot, I wish I knew this ahead of time then I would've just come straight to you. GIVE ME A BREAK! Don't diagnose me or my son until you show me your medical degree, untill then I don't really care what you say.

My son has add and that is it. I know for a fact that certain meds regaurdless of what they are for can cause adverse reactions in anyone. And I know that his meds were making him paranpoid and violent, cause when he came off of them he wasn't like that anymore.

[/QUOTE] jengleman38937.6308449074Just because one med does not work does not always mean it is not ADHD. IMO

[QUOTE=crazymama]Just because one med does not work does not always mean it is not ADHD. IMO[/QUOTE]

You are SSSOOOO right!!!! thank you!!!!!!

this poor mother is probably scared off by now. This is exactly why so many newbies leave this site after a few posts. there is such a thing as too much "parent dxing" around here or any other message board. Not every child that has a negative reaction to one med is bp. that is a bad way to introduce yourself to a newbie that is already upset and offer her support.

I know he has add...... He doesn't have a mood disorder, It was the meds that were making him act outand get paranoid. If I wasn't clear on that I am sorry. Once he stopped taking the meds his behavior got a lot better. It his concentration his lack of motivation and the impulsivity that is driving me nuts. He does things that are dangerous and I am afraid that he is gonna go to far and hurt himeself or someone else by accident. We realize that he is an awesome kid and we love him very much. But as a parent with more than one child it can be exhausting trying to give them all the attention that they want and need. Especially when one of them wants it 99% of the time and will do whatever he can to get it. I know that I have my hands full when it come to HSing him, but I really think it is better for him. Oh we did get him an IEP, it only took the school 2 1/2 years to get it done, and all they were willing to do for him was send someone to his class for 1/2 hour during reading time. Bunch of BS if you ask me.

By the way for the ones of you out there that are supportive thank you and for those of you barking ant me don't bother I've delt with worse than you. Thank you all.

jengle, I'm trying to give you advice based on what you said. If you feel it's ADHD, and that's the answer, then it's fine with me. It's not my son, and as long as you feel comfortable with your professionals and their dx., then I take it back and totally feel you are on the right track. You just seemed upset and did not mention that the meds made your son act that way. You're right that meds CAN do that. You know best if your son is a moody kid. If he's normal off the meds--again, you're right, it was the meds.I've had my own son to many professionals and he was misdiagnosed, but it appears that your son has everyone on the same page. By all means, homeschool him. We did that for over a year and it worked out well until it came to special services. Then we had to put our son back in school because in our state you get no services if the child isn't in school. I wish you luck

Now if he is violent OFF the meds, I stand by thinking he needs to see a child psychiatrist. Others said so too. If not, no problem. (Ogram, people come here for help. Nobody can diagnose but a professional, but it is never bad advice to tell parents who are struggling to go for a re-evaluation. ADHD has a few mimickers, as you well know). MomWI38937.6711342593

Hi Jamie, I'm also a newbie here and just wanted to say you are not alone. Hats off to you for HSing, I would NEVER have the patience, I can barely get thru a regular day, let alone trying to actually school him. You sound like a wonderful mom who truly wants the best for her child.

I'm hoping I can find other moms here who relate to what I'm going through. I've had my son diagnosed by professionals, so I am confident that he is ADHD. I've read more books than I can count, and I know that temper outbursts are very common with ADHD as well. It's the impulsivity part of it, they just have no sense of what is appropriate and what is not.

Anyway, just wanted to say hello and keep up the good work!

[QUOTE=MomWI](Ogram, people come here for help. Nobody can diagnose but a professional, but it is never bad advice to tell parents who are struggling to go for a re-evaluation. ADHD has a few mimickers, as you well know). [/QUOTE]

Wow, i have been here a long time. lmao i was betting every thing i have that you would say some thing abrasive and confrontational like that to me. Good luck with that one.

So, duly noted, completely ignored, putting a period and moving forward.

jingleman well said ... and the best to you on getting and doing what is right for your son and your family..that's all any of us can do.That's abrasive. Okie dokie

Hey jengleman, I too am new had to sign up just to reply to you. I for one congratulate you on HSchooling your son. I HSed last year and loved it, my son is 8 ADHD, he did great, loved the one on one and working at his own pace he could flop around on the floor if he wanted and do his math. He could sit out back on the grass and read etc. We are not doing it this year we moved over the summer and live 2 doors down from the school so we are going to see how things go. One book I found that I like and has worked for us with discipline for both our children is 123 Magic. Sorry dont have the author but can check if you like. Anyhow just mostly wanted to say hi, and hope your day is GREAT!

I totally agree a psychiatrist is the person to work with. Where I wasn't agreeing is in the diagnosis. I don't think any of us are qualified to say it is one thing over the other. I also agree with you that it doesn't hurt to talk to a lot of people on a variety of forums. Hearing many perspectives is imperative. Again, where I have a problem is with amatuers, myself included, saying it is or isnt' something. That is for the professionals to do. Just my opinion.

I recommend that you do what you know is right. Not what one person says over another. I have to agree with most though that homeschooling is not in the best interest of your child as long as he has these issues. Getting professional help and learning ways to work with the schools and your son are in his best interest. Raising a child with special needs takes a great deal of strength. We all have to keep our selfs in check and make sure we are there for the kids and not for ourselves. Whether it is ad/hd or something else... just seek professional help not amatuers diagnosing what it is or isn't.

Of course she should see a professional--a Child psychiatrist is best. I'm just almost positive the dx. won't be ADHD, which is why I suggested the CD board. Over there, guarantee, nobody is going to say it's only ADHD. That isn't how kids with ADHD act. Sorry, but they don't. That's all I'm going to say on the issue. I hope the mom checks the other board because she'll get solid advice there. Am I pushy? You bet. I don't want this child to suffer and get worse. I hope he sees a psychiatrist, gets on the right meds, and improves. What is going on now isn't working. If it's working, don't fix it. If it's NOT working, heck, the treatment isn't right. Again, I'm here to help kids, not make parents feel warm and fuzzy, although NO child with ANY disorder is hopeless. A possibly bipolar kid on stimulants, however, is hopeless. Bipolar gets worse with age. And without the right meds. So, do check out the Conduct Disorders board. And if it's ADHD, a Child Psychiatrist would know more than a psycologist or talk therapist. He/she has is a physician as well as psycology major and is aware of all disorders. Can't hurt to have a Psychiatrist on board--and CAN hurt if not. Good luck :)

www.conductdisorders.com

Take care :)

MomWI38936.7889699074

www.conductdisorders.com

Welcome jengleman......I agree with orgram in that you need to give yourself a breather and dont be so hard on yourself. When children are faced with these kind of challenges and issues, its not just the child's problem, it a family problem. It creates tons of stress within the family unit and when you have no break from it, its hard to hold it all together. Your moving in the right direction as your asking for help and support. Definitely get another opinion so you can start your child on a road to treatment that is conducive to his needs.I also agree with Ogram. I would register him in a regular school with an IEP to meet his needs.If this mom takes this kid to a Child Psychiatrist or a NeuroPsych, she will not get a dx. of only ADHD. Guarantee it. These behaviors, including the paranoia and kicking the cat have nothing to do with ADHD. And discipline doesn't work for mood disordered kids until they are stablized on mood meds. I hope she takes the advice of getting another diagnosis. let's not be too abrasive.

Personally, i've had my son to many differ drs and the best one for him is a Pediatric Neuropsycologist (a dr with a neurology md and a psychiatrist md). i think scaring a parent into going to a specific dr is a bit abrasive. there are alot of GREAT dr's that are capable and qualified to deal with this type of disorder. a second or third opinion is the right thing to do. we all agree with that.

This child hasn't been assessed for three years. IMO a lot more is going on that ADHD. My guess is he has early onset bipolar, although I can't be sure. He certainly is beyond ADHD standards in behavior. The thinking kids are talking about him could be bp paranoia. You need to have him assessed by a Child Psychiatrist (with the MD) for med management. Stims are making him; worse, another symptom of bipolar disorder. If mood disorders, subtance abuse or suicide attempts are in the family tree, there is even more reason to think it may be early onset bipolar. These kids need mood stabilizers. Stims make them even worse. I'd skip the psycologists and go to the top. Psycologists are poor diagnosticians. Good luck. I have a link for you.

www.bpkids.org

MomWI38936.5992592593well, in my opinion i would never home school my adhd child, but that is just me. It wouldn't ever work in my house. As for you, you deserve a break!!! One of the most important things for you to do is take a breather and you deserve it. Don't be too hard on your self, if you are here that means you are doing right by your child. what kind of doctor you got the dx from and what tests did they do to get the dx? I would first suggest that you take him for a second and 3rd opinion and be very consistent with discipline. it's hard but adhd children need the consistency. I am wondering if there is a differ disorder that has not been addressed. Find a good neuropsy and see what they have to say. Welcome to the board!!

Hello my name is jamie and I am new here. My son, Bryan is 8 and was diagnosed with add when he was in 1st grade. He was on dextrostat for about 2 years. We took him off of it about a year ago when we noticed that his outbursts were getting more and more violent. The breaking point was when I caught him kicking our family cat (that he loved very much). He had a history of flipping out in school. Punching other kids because he thought that they were talking about him behind his back, so on and so on.

Well We had many many struggles with his school and decided to homeschool him starting this year. I am finding this to be a relentless struggle with him. I find myself losing patience very quickly and wanting to give up on him and me. I don't know what to do. We really don't want to put him back on meds but I am not sure he'll ever achieve anything if we let things keep going the way that they going now.

I am truely at my witts end I don't know what to do and I am afraid that I am going to lose it and take it out on him. Please any suggestions are very welcome.