Addictive Personality
Touche!
Okay, you're technically brilliant: Help me get this mother-blessed
@*#&$%! avatar-thingy from my email onto our boards. I've succeeded in finally getting it off o' my phone--prvt msg me your email or vice versa--I'm seeing stars I'm so sick of trying...
Or 2 hrs in Wal-Mart buying too much everything. And of course justifying said purchase because it's so much cheaper than Target & Safeway. I swear I'm there every freakin' night--I need a tram that goes directly from my house to the store.
Its so comforting to hear all these stories that read like my life!!!! I love the discovery, history-etc channel, especially Medical Mysteries or Separating Conjoined twins and the like! Loud music is a must! I drive around all day for my job & always wonder what the person next to me thinks when a 31 yr old momma in a minivan is rockin out...I guess I get a kick out of that, too! When i was young I was the incessant talker/class clown, but my smarts got me through h.s, and through college all with pretty darn good grades. Now I'm an adult with 2 kiddies(5 & 3). And even though I have a job that makes really good money, and everyone thinks I'm superwoman for "doing it all"....I feel like I've got everyone FOOLED!!! Constantly frazzled, losing things, wanting to self-medicate...I don't need to explain to you guys(ah, thankfully! so refeshing!) Started on Concerta, and it didn't do anything until i got up to 72mg, which has sent my brain packing, and also has thrown me into a deep blah depression. I can't wait to taper off this stuff & try something else....hoping for better days! All of your stories have brightened my day! Thanks.
[QUOTE=SpaceyLady]...Loud music is a must! I drive around all day for my job & always wonder what the person next to me thinks when a 31 yr old momma is rockin out...I've got everyone FOOLED!!! [/QUOTE]
Try 41 yr.old! But I guess it doesn't really count if you don't look it--I got carded the other night @ BevMo--made my decade--maybe the guy was just trying to flirt. Trust me--you DO have everyone fooled. I know this is a megaWitch comment but I sometimes feel like anyone withOUT ADHD is an complete imbecile. So fooling them is an effortless task.
Terrie...HERE YEE!!!!!!
Don't worry about the MegaWitch comment! I may be the megaWitch of witches! 
I feel the same...these "normal" people make me nuts most of the time...you gotta "dumb it down" for some(how's that for witchy?!heehee). I just wish I then didn't feel so guilty about it...I always feel like someday my charade will be up & they'll fire me, turn of my electric & take away my house! Ah, the (annoying)imaginative side of ADD!
), not missing a mistake, recalling where anyone is at any given time, perfect yet effortless proofing & editing, etc. Although exist plenty of flaws--as my boss has kindly put it "Terrie can become agitated if a schedule is not adhered to" on my last evaluation. Ha! To say the least! Try to remember your outstanding qualities are genuine & real--they are just not what the majority of others have, that's all. There is no jig that's going to be up. You are a prodigy, a superstar
, plain & simple. We just get to be different & excel at the finer/smaller things most people have difficulty with. Go forth with confidence. Fool with vigor. Revel in your ADHD abilities!
The trick is move up the chain of command and delegate. Surround yourself with different personalities and delegate the tasks that your not good at!!! Works for me (along with my medication).
Too bad I can not delegate out the staff meetings!!! 
I used to suffer form extreme boardome all the time. And I too would get a fix out of negative behaviour as well as high stimulation activites. And winding people up! Now I have been taking medication I do not get as bored as quickly so that is a good thing for me.
What do I find stimulating? Loud rock music, a must! Interesting films and documenteries ( I am addicted to the descovery channel, if you forgive the pun!). But is it frustrating when you say to someone else for instance, 'there was a facinating programme on last night abut hte formation of the Red Guard in Chna during the cultural revolution' people then tend to look at me as if I am insane. Lack of like-minded people to discuss with as always a downside for me.
Hey muddy,
I also am hooked on the discovery channel!!! Loud rock and roll is a must for me too!!!
If my medication wears off and I do the rebound, rock and roll will help my mind settle down.
I've never been tempted by alchol or drugs. Its chocolate and carbohydrates that are my downfall!Alchol is a funny thing for me - if I don't have it in the house, I usually don't buy it or drink. But, when I go out socially, I drink way too much. I drink about 6 pints at the brewhouse or about 10 at a friends over a 3 hour period. I do this once or twice a month!!!
I wonder if that would be considered addictive??
Hi LCdc
From my experience with AA groups, there are two types of alcohol addicts, one is the 24/7 drinker, that always needs a good level of intoxication to function, and the other one the occasional drinker, usually doing a day and night drinking spell sometimes up to 2or3 days without stopping, sometimes ending up in a hospital as the only way to stop the frenzy...of course nothing functions for that person anymore.
Doesn't look like you're near there, but I'd watch it anyways...
Sweet!
I have always had an addictive personality too.
Much like you guys that posted before me I had a run an alcohol for a few years, speed addiction was the worse and still niggles at me but I managed to stop smoking a year ago which was a huge effort!!
I have OCD too so that comes into my getting easily addicted to all sorts of things 
Welcome to my world!!!!
Medication for adhd does help!!! The stimulation you are talking about used to make me feel alive and afterward relaxed. These tendencies still rear their evil head once in awhile, but much less now!!!!
I guess I get my adrenaline fix in the summer on my job and in the winter snowboarding with my kids.
Ha! Currently trying to paste an avatar o-myself as a technical intervention-slash-challenge. And, what--no commentary about being a mammary?
[QUOTE=terrie]Oh, but you are . . .
Whenever davidOrnado is abreast, we're all ensconced in a so bad&overtly-rich it's got to be fattening Much Ado About Absolutely Nothing; anyone reading is instantly an aspiring Bard.
BTW, I can get married on Friday.
How about you?
) thou . . . Go forth & graze--mangia, bello--tutto bene!Would that mean itching for you if it was poison Oak and poison Ivy????
I fell like I am in a low budget Shakespeare play!!!
Oh, but you are . . .
Whenever davidOrnado is abreast, we're all ensconced in a so bad&overtly-rich it's got to be fattening Much Ado About Absolutely Nothing; anyone reading is instantly an aspiring Bard.
[QUOTE=LCdc]Would that mean itching for you if it was poison Oak and poison Ivy????[/QUOTE]
MaresEatOats&DoesEatOats&LittleLambsEatIvy
Amongst the pines, no less...
. Further commentary assured, but for now, Carving gives both the satisfaction of: 1.) Control & 2.) Leaving your Mark O' Perfection on the World and
terrie,
I was wondering if it were thee!
How I have redwooded and cedared for you!
And now I have to go eat, and put food under my tongue, so it works faster.
!I like to carve.
I crave to
carve
Days ARE getting shorter, finally...
Here's a pill for us !!
I do tend to get depressed cause life is not like my fantasies and everything seems so mundane and boring. I have a love for the unusual and eccentric.
I get bored so easily !!
I always have to keep my mind occupied with something. I can't just relax. Im either in hyper mode or so exhausted I can't even sit up !
For example when I cook for my family I almost never make the same meal twice cause to me that's boring. I also constantly change the furniture around in the house. This drives my husband crazy ! I also constantly change my hair color and style.
I even constantly change my handwriting !! I used to change my first name too.
I can almost never watch a movie twice (except pulp-fiction and blade-runner ) or
read a book twice. I also refuse to see the same country twice if I travel. Except for family or friends.
So CHANGE is my addiction.
I should only be changing my underwear on a regular basis and luckily for my husband he can stay !!
although food has been an addiction for me
I trend to being a serial addict.
What's my addiction du jour?
It has been these threads.
It has been R-Oh.
It has been s*x.
It has been many other things, including productive work.
So, now having begged confession, and given it, what now?
How do you harness your addiction for the good of the family?
I have squashed lots of addictions for the good of the family!!! What other choice do you have?
If I did not have kids - I probably would not have been so worried about myself and repercussions to myself!!
[quote]Here's a pill for us !!Fukitol Pill[/quote]
LOL!!!!!!
That's damn funny.
Thank you worldisround for delivering me from bad poetry and discussions of breast! 
I shall have to check and see if my doc has free samples!
I was diagnosed ADHD the day before yesterday and my doc told me that up to 50% of all addicts have ADD...when I look at my NA friends I can definately relate to that. I personally started like busterangel, as a kid it was chocolate, sugar and TV or videogames (although they weren't as addictive then...ATARI, etc.) and I got my fix from withdrawing from the world into my dreamworld, which later motivated me to live out my dreams with sex, drugs and rock and roll, travelling around the globe and diving into adventures. After coming off the drugs I shifted my addictions and today I recognize that running late for appointments, overloading my schedule with things I would like to do, planning in unconventional ways and particularly agressiveness and moodswings are a part of that shift. But more than that I realized that even negative behaviors give me the fix. Like not being able to keep up a routine, or getting up in the morning, or putting the book back to where it belongs after using it. What I mean is, tell an alcoholic, that he should STOP drinking beer for the next seven days, he'll most likely fail, if he's strong he'll fail only after a few weeks, because the desire to get the fix is stronger than his reasoning and constraining powers. And tell me I should START doing my exercise in the morning, or tell me that I should START keep writing down mileage entries for my cars for IRS on a regular basis, if I am really motivated I can keep it up for a week or two, but thats it.
I know it has to do with habits that are formed in the brain that are hard to break but I feel like i am getting a fix out of not doing something, staying in bed until 9 in the morning while my wife is taking care of breakfast, the baby and the dog...
Dunno if anyone understands what I am writing...
and already had to go to rehab for alchahaul. And it took me forever to quit
smoking.Sunmiguel, I hear ya!
Apparently ADHDers get the same "fix" or enjoyment from negative behavior as they do good behavior. This is probably why ADHDers are thought to be lazy. We can feel the same about not doing things as we do if we actually did them. Add to this the conflicts that follow not doing things i.e. arguments etc. your providing more stimulation and thus another dopamine hit, things are starting to make sense.
I've also read that ADHDers are "stimulation seekers" which I suppose could be another term for an addict i.e. always on the lookout for something to provide the fix. I suppose we are predisposed to an addictive nature and with improperly developed self control this can/did get out of hand.
The term "hyperfocus" too, I guess if you're hyperfocused on something your sapping dopamine from your brain which would/does become addictive. In an ideal world we could sit around playing/listening to rock 'n roll, having sex or doing whatever you can hyperfocus on all day and life would be great.
It's great to hear other peoples similar experiences. It's helping me greatly understand ADHD and it's reassuring knowing I'm not alone.
I also can hyperfocus on negative thoughts and actions. I used to thing that I was "worrying" too much or just upset. When in reality, I was in hyperfocus. I could take a superficial remark someone made and take it to heart. Thinking that their opinion of me was the complete truth and I would crumble.
Or I would make a mistake at work and think that I was the worlds biggest ditz. Little bits of mortar in the self-esteem would fall apart.
In relationships, when the rush of excitement was over, I would hyperfocus on my partners "failings" and couldn't see the positive or attractive things.
Sunmiguel - I don't think I am addicted either, just impulsive as heck!!! I just have to stop driving when I do those social things.
I see from your post above that you list antartica as your location? WOW!
Oh - you are not from there, I am an idiot sometimes, just took it at face value. I thought it was cool cause I know some folks from the university nearby that did some biology work there!!!!~
In the past I have had run ins with the law and hospitals due to drinking and drugs - I am beyond that now.
I just know the consequences of driving while intoxicated would be bad with my job and kids - I say I won't do it, but that brain of mine on beer and the meds have worn off, doesn't weigh those consequences!!! We don't have taxi's in our town and very few police - I have to think about the statistics of getting by doing this every couple of weeks I guess.
LCdc&peitaPan: Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! Spastic hyper loud & fast music cures any & all ailments & everything I do has to be perfection because otherwise why bother/why waste your time ? I never thought of myself as a perfectionist & I don't think I am. I'm ADHD/an addict & what my eyes see must be pleasing to me otherwise I'll twist it until I'm aesthetically pleased. Seconds/anyone relate?
Be safe on the road...I guess thats what my doc meant when he said that I have a medium ADD or else I would have ended up in jail (although I ve been there) or in hospital. Its just a matter of gearing our impulsiveness towards not harmful or as I read in a post even towards positive activities. They`re just not as rewarding are they, or is it a matter of training?
I guess i have to change that location seems like nobody believes me...I wanted to put nothing but it wouldn't let me.
LCdc: I completely hear that at my age thing about the loud thrash-banging music--I'm 41 & although I may not look it I often wonder what people think--can't help it though, & who cares, right? Regarding perfection, I must not consciously strive for it. Because I don't ever feel like I've failed
--as long as I can get to the task (once I can reach it, it's getting done, like it or not, be it 4:3Oam--get outta my way) so perhaps perfection is the wrong word. I suppose it's the pleasing to me part that should be emphasized (sounds like just a couple of control issues here, huh?) I'm not sure if that is even close to an answer to your question. I often require much steering to stay on point or figure out what that is, as my mind has a mind of its own. ).[QUOTE=busterangel]...like Terrie said, I like things to be pleasing to look at. I can't stand messes or things out of place. I can't leave the house without the bed made or all the dishes washed.[/QUOTE]
Here, here!busterAngel! Couldn't have said it better. Cleanliness may be close to yada yada yada, but I'm already talking to God (or myself) aloud through the better part of the day. Everything must be in it's place because if I can't find it I don't like that & if I don't like something it's getting changed in a nanosecond. I'm quite certain I have the hygiene of a bike messenger & my husband follows me around the house with a bottle of bleach. I shower once a week (no, I'm not French) & yet am apparently attractive enough to be the window dressing at a snobby law firm in an even snottier city (like I said things have to look good--doesn't mean they necessarily are good). And for all of those who just recoiled @ my latter statement I can't tolerate the drying quality of water on my skin. I recall as a child getting in trouble for lying about washing my hands--you could beat me but I was not going to make my palms feel like that, NO WAY. This is like 1st grade-age so I had yet to learn about the enriching qualities of hand lotion & skin moisturizers, in which both I am constantly draped. If there's none around, pass the butter, olive oil or Crisco--I have GOT to have something between those fingerprints or I'm licking my palms like a quarterback (or so I've been told).
I hear you - I am 42 and have most of the mind components of a 20 year old.
I can totally be a control monger at times and drive myself crazy with it, or I used to, the meds helped me to let that go a little!!!
terrie - does it bother you when you try for perfection and fail?? Sometimes I find myself tied in a knot if I try to do this and fail!!!
Most of the time I do not try for perfection, just close, so it won't be such a let down!! And the times I achieve perfection, I feel like I don't deserve it.
Yup, loud and crazy music is good - I think some people find it funny that I relax to that type of music at my age!!!
I have also learned to settle for less than perfection, especially in my home. I have always kept things pretty clean and neat, but with 3 dogs and 3 cats, it will never be as clean as I would like.
Still, like Terrie said, I like things to be pleasing to look at. I can't stand messes or things out of place. I may have a few piles of paperwork but it is organized piles.
I can't leave the house without the bed made or all the dishes washed.
I have read that ADHDers have a shortage of dopamine and need high stimulation for this to be released.Has anyone else looked at there life prior to finding out they ADHD and realised that they were addicted to doing things that would give them a fix of dopamine?
I've always been a thrill seeker/attention seeker, putting the need for thrills/attention above common sense, courtesy and respect with no honest explanation as to why. It has recently got to a point where I've had to step back and have a good look at who I am and what I do and this has led me to believe that I do have ADHD. I can see that doing what I do gives me the dopamine my brain lacks at any constant level.
I do impulsive things that will provide a quick "fix" and make me feel good in the moment. I find it impossible to do anything that will provide delayed gratification. To be happily motivated about anything I like to be able to see/feel a result quickly, I hate doing things for the future.
Can anyone else relate to this sort of thing. If so what sort things did you do to get your "fix"?
Did the meds help?
Jude,
I definitely can relate. I think that I have a "addictive personality". As a kid it was candy and carbs. As an adult it was alcohol and marijuana.
Activities have to really engage me, or I get bored and restless. Sometimes depressed when I have nothing exciting going on.
When I was younger I engaged in riskier behavior. Doing things that were not very good for mind, body and soul.
I still do impulsive things. But mostly they are harmless activities and probably rather commonplace and boring.
ADDers tend to need immediate gratification, hence the addiction to stimuli whatever form it comes in.
Sex. Video games. Loud music. Coffee. Any activity that was both pleasurable and exciting at the same time.
And yes, the meds help, but I'm still working to break all those impulsive habits
Alcohol got me too, I probably should have went to rehab. Smoking is another addiction, for me a cigarette is something to look forward too, it breaks the boredom and I guess helps give me a sense of time i.e. time for another smoke, I'm bored what can I do? I'll have a smoke. Before smokes it was overeating. From what I've read this is typical of ADHDers i.e. easily bored, no sense of time, constant noise in the head (subdued by alcohol).
They say the first step for an addict is to admit you have a problem. My problem was frustration in not knowing why I did what I did. My mentality was/is "doing this works better than not doing it so keep doing it at whatever cost". Eventually the cost got unbearable and now I've forced myself to get on the mend.
Chasing a feeling is how I would describe my experience, although I didn't now it at the time I was always hunting a fix of dopamine. Trying to feel normal/happy.
Things make a lot more sense having read up on how the brain works. I have read undiagnosed/untreated ADHD increases the chances of substance abuse.
Anyone else experienced similar to this?
2funny--I can certainly concur--there's a water bong hidden in our garage for severe sinus headaches, but frankly I'm kinda glad not to have it because then every trip to the store becomes an adventure. Although it does make Saturday Night Live funnier . . . Hehe, like spending 2 hours in walmart and buying too much food :D
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