I give up!!!! | ADHD Information

ackley - why dont you just give up for a little while - can you go home to mum for a week?  Or a sister or someone that might just let you relax.

Your family wont die even if you just get away for a weekend for yourself. 

I can understand and relate to what you are going through.  My life was a train wreck 2 years ago and then my daughters were involved in a car accident and then I had to rehabilitate my daughter for 6 months AAARRRGGGGGHHHHH.  Then I spent the next year being sick.  I caught everything (like you are under stress and the illness you have comes out of remission)

If we dont TAKE time out for ourselves, our bodies fall to bits.    Throw it to the wind - even for a day if you can.  And perhaps (like I did) you could consider some anti-depressants, they were a holiday in themselves.

UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

I can't do this anymore.  I am mentally and physically done.  How much does one person have to take.  If it isn't the kids then its the husband.  Tell me where I signed up for being the sole everything to everyone.  When is God going to send me support, compassion, love.  I am in hick town, gave up my career and birth family to get my kids and husband's ADHD under control.  I can't work full time and kept them all functioning.  Then I get thrown at me that I have ADHD and my fibermyalgia is out of remission.  HELLO God, I have enough things to deal with.  I don't think I can  anymore without my eyes bursting.  How can I be blamed for our financial brokeness if I am the housewife.  My husband has slept for 10 days at 18 hours a day.  He can't figure out why we are all stressed due to zero money in the house.  Hello, if you don't work we don't have money.  And to top it off, he blames me for being home getting their ADHD under control.  He's mad at me because the kids are mad at him for not working.  WHen do I get to get myself together, I am married for 16 years to someone who doesn't even care I am upset, I am lonely, frustrated, and just pure out going crazy.  I am keeping everything inside so the kids are okay.  I feel I have no partner. I have 3 kids.  I hurt all the time, can't hardly walk.  All my life I have over come and dealt with life.  I am 34 years old and shoot I would put Jerry Springer off the air if I had my own show.  DID i ever complain, no I accepted my purpose and went ahead. I knew God had a purpose.  Well now, I don't want this purpose anymore and can't help anyone.  I am broken to the point, shoot I don't even know what point.  I have gone to look for work.  In this small Alabama area there is nothing.  I am over qualified for all things. 

Okay I will stop, thanks for letting me sound off.  I am not use to this. So my deepest thanks for taking up this space.

Ackley,

Don't give up. You need help today, right now. Walk away from your computer and go to the nearest place you can get help whether it's your church, community center or your family counselor.

ADHD alone is NOT an excuse for not working. If your husband is not willing to solve his problems you are not to blame. ADHD is difficult but that does not make anyone exempt from accountablility (though I'm sure many people would like to think so).  Sleeping 18 hours a day indicates something in addition to ADHD, whether it be depression or something else.

Don't try to solve it yourself. Get help and tell your husband that ADHD or not, he needs to be involved with his family and be an involved husband and father.

As you can probably tell from this board, we may not be the best employees or the best children, parents, etc, but that doesn't prevent us from trying or from hoping that we can improve.

 

  I am so sorry you are feeling so low right now.  One of my favorite authors and speakers, Cheryl Richardson, promotes a great, but sometimes challenging idea of extreme self-care.  It can feel and sound selfish, but she likens it to the fact that you are told to put on your own oxygen mask first on a plane before you help someone else.  If you don't take care of yourself, it is so difficult, if not impossible, to take care of anyone else.  I know, it is easier said than done, but is there just one thing you could do right now to take care of yourself?  Just as small as taking that multivitamin you never can find time for, taking a bath, calling a friend, eating lunch, or doing something you like to do - even if it's for only 5 minutes.  You might feel guilty at first, but that doesn't mean it's wrong - do it anyway.  It takes practice.  It isn't merely okay to take good care of yourself - it is essential, particularly when you have people depending on you.  Recharging your own batteries has to be part of the plan, even if no one but you "gets it" at the time.

Good luck!

Thank you all for your support.  I read all the replies and agree with all.  My husband does have other issues and I have continuelly tried to get him to seek help.  He is on depression medicine as am I.  I have no family to turn to because they feel we all need hospitalized and I have just fought them in court for my children.  I won of course and the judge basically told my family to leave us alone that we were doing a great job at raising the kids.  My time to myself is coming to the library and checking this site.  I take time out an work in my flowers and play (or spoil) our two dogs.  I thought last night of what kind of message am I giving my children by allowing this relationship to continue.  I don't want my children to use this ADHD as an excuse, I have tried to teach them how to accept it, conquer it, and be all they can.  They are smart beautiful children that can do amazing things.  My daughter is a star soccer player and want to play soccer professionally.  My son wants to fly jets.  I encourage them to follow their dreams.  I can't help my husband anymore, but I trapped with no resources, no way out.  I have gone to look for work yesterday and today.  We will see.  But anyway thank you for being my friends or shall I say angels on my shoulders. 

ackley-

I think everything that there is to say has been said by everyone else, all I can say is have faith and hang in there, I really feel for you. You will definettely be in my prayers.  Remember God never puts more on your plate then what you can handle.

God Bless You

Sophie

Jennifer, when you are wise old woman - looking back on this stage in your life, you are going to feel so proud of your compassion, courage and endurance.  You must be becoming so tired, especially with no support, but I personally and I bet every one on this forum is proud to call you part of our cyber family.  You are a strong and enduring soul and deserve some peace in your life. 

Sometimes it takes years to understand what we have gained from a situation, that whilst we are in it, all we feel is a heavy load.  Even bad experiences gives gifts of the soul that endure for our life time. 

You can do it!  Many women have, and you can to.  Talk to any womens shelters or government departments or church support groups that may be able to give you some assistance.

ackley_4 said "When is God going to send me support, compassion, love."

 

Footprints in the Sand

(the poem)

One Night I Dreamed I Was Walking Along the Beach With the Lord Many Scenes from my life flashed across the sky
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints
Other times there were one set of footprints

This bothered me because I noticed that During the low periods of my life
when I was Suffering from anguish, sorrow, or defeat,...
I could see only one set of footprints,
So I said to the Lord, "...
"You promised me, Lord, that if I followed You,
You would walk with me always...
But I noticed that during the most trying
periods of my life there have only been
One set of prints in the sand
Why, When I have needed You most,
You have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,...
"The times when you have seen
only one set of footprints...
...Is when I Carried you.

God has a special reward for two women with a mother who blamed them for her problems. Losing your job is not your daughter's fault. This is not a safe place to blame other people for your problems. This is a support group for adults with ADHD.

 

Isn't  it great that we have somewhere to vent.  I have lost many jobs because of my ADHD daughter and can't even imagine having 2 people like that in my household.  I feel God has a special reward for us who have gone through all this, you more than me.  1 year my ADHD daughter was having a really tough year, while my 2nd daughter decided to have bulimia.  I was attending court ordered counselling with 1, counselling with the other, and of course my job did not understand.  I say this to tell you I understand.  Please keep venting, so you can find inforamtion and help.  This seems a save place to vent.