twins-Runescape-babbling | ADHD Information

Howdie!  I don't have twins, but this must be very difficult for you, with them so different.  There are probably some searches you could do on "twins ADHD" and come up with some interesting information.  Either way, offspring, whether they come by adoption, natural birth, singly or by litter, or however,  come into our household different from the rest, and should and have the right to be treated differently from each other.  It's hard! 

My innatentive son is actually a twin of A.  I agree, it is totally exhausting.  Dad was the same way, I couln't handle two "kids" and left after much counsel.  Runescape is a great hyperfocus and incentive for a reward system.  You are smart to realize this is a motivating factor for him.  You might try a reward system then.  For the daily grind, you might have him earn time on runescape if he completes them in your determined time.  Ogram has a marble system somewhere on here that is a great motivator also:     http://www.adhdnews.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19898& PN=3 

YOu can use these for both boys, to make things even, then THEY are each in control of their own rewards.  Positive reinforcements work better than punishments.

On a final note, I  recommend family therapy.  This can give you some other great ideas to keep things running smoother and happier, and less draining on you. 

calicorose38941.9337731482deleted post
IMac38942.5876967593

Here is the direct link to Ograms Marble System:

http://www.adhdnews.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19898& PN=3

Hello and welcome turnbaktym. I don't have twins but I do have two children that are three years apart and one is adhd and one isnt. My non adhd child would follow rules and do what was asked of her but like your adhd child, my son (prior to effective treatment) would also have to be told 500 times to do something and such circumstances do affect the entire family unit. Children do not grow out of adhd but with the right interventions, as they gow into adulthood many of the behaviors do tone down and as a result of effective treatment, they can develop good coping skills and also learn to compensate for their limitations. These children do tend to hyperfocus and under certain circumstances its something very positive. My son as a child was very hyperfocused on video games and as he grew into young adulthood, he developed a passion for photography. These days he is working weekends doing photograpy jobs and hes becoming the best in the business because no one can zero in on that picture and get a great shot like he can

Everything you said makes plenty of sense as no matter how much we love our children, such challenging children can get very overwhelming. As mentioned, check out ograms marble system and also, check out a book called 123 Magic by Thomas Phelam. Parents have been very sucessful in terms of behavior modification after reading that book and applying the suggestions given. Hope I have helped in some way

Intro:  9 year old Fraternal twin boys (30 week premies)

Just a vent here I guess.  My one twin "A" has moderate to severe ADHD, the other "B" has mild learning dis.  I try to explain that they are both wonderful boys but each is different.  Where one has to work much harder at school, twin A has to work much harder at thinking before he does things.  Lately however twin A has been making comments about being bad.  This is not something that I have stated or anything but I guess he notices that others just take to his brother more and easier.  He is doing better since he started meds (concerta 36 mg) this past sept. friends are liking him better and he is getting invited over to houses more.  It is actually funny because one of his friends (that he did not get along with before) was diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia and isnow doing wonderfully.  They are almost best buds,  the freind says they understand each other...he also says they are "partners in crime" as they terrorize the little girls (good naturedly that is)   But the point here is he is a handful, while his brother B is the polar opposite.  does things the first time asked, easy going, no stress, While A has to be asked repeatedly and then some to do things, is moody and distant and can be generally an anxiety attack waiting to happen.  He is also totally obsessed with this game runescape.  In fact that is my punishment for him anymore,  it works.  I guess it is his hyperfocus?  Does anyone out there have twins where one has ADHD and one does not.  How do you handle that and be fair to both children?  the I do tend to give twin A more chances to do what is asked, where as twin B, I tend to get on him quicker.  I have given all three of my children weekly chores that rotate by the week.  Twin B will do his right away, and twin A will have to be reminded 500 times before it is done and another 400 for it to be done correctly!  this wears on me and other members of the family. dh is in total denial, says no problems he will grow out of it, and he might but honestly the child is an angel when with father-which is not really much but it is frustrating for me to see him move when father is around.  (mind you DH has not outgrown his ADHD or will even admit to it)

boy this has turned into a ranting babbling session.  If there is any ADD mom's out there that can make sense of what I have just written please let me know.  I love both my boys but sometimes I can hardly stand to be around him.

thanks

Thank you to all who responded!  I like the idea of the Ogram system.  i also like the idea of the 2 weeks of only positive reward and then implementing the, take marble away part.  It will help me as well as I have a very hard time remembering things.  I will sometimes ground one of the kids and then if I remember I even grounded them I will forget why :)  Then I turn it around on them and say if they can't remember why then they haven't learned their lesson.  This usually works until I can remember why I put them in. :)  Thanks once again, I intend to try this method. 

I have been using Runescape as something similar.  taking it away from him and giving it back if his behavior improved but now I have had to stick to my guns if I said 4 days it has to be 4 days, not 3 1/2 time off for good behavior.  Hopefully this will help him remember not to make the offense to begin with. 

I also keep him to about an hour a day on the computer because if I dont' he will sit all day playing the blasted game.  

Thanks again, will let you know how things go!

Turnbaktym